Page 56

Sam

I woke to my phone ringing at five the following day and immediately worried that there was an issue with Crew.

Kelsey still slept soundly beside me, and her phone was dark, with no sign of a message.

I stumbled across the bedroom when my phone rang again, and I rifled through my discarded clothes to find the source.

Monica. She wouldn’t be calling me at this time unless shit had hit the fan.

“Hello?” I huffed out in a panic.

“Sam,” Monica breathed out. “I’m sorry to call, but it’s your father.”

“What happened?” I asked, my heart hammered in my chest. I’d waited for this call for the last sixteen years, but nothing could have prepared me for when it finally arrived.

“He’s in the hospital, recovering. But Sam, he’d devolved overnight. When you feel up to it, you need to listen to the voicemails he left you. He had a fall. And yes, he was intoxicated.”

“How bad was the fall?”

“It was out a window. It’s not clear if it was a failed suicide attempt or an accident. But he got lucky.” Fuck, suicide? Had things gotten so bad for my father that he’d felt like that was his only option? Did I miss the signs because I selfishly cut him off?

Kelsey had woken up and was trying to figure out what had happened from my one-sided conversation.

I covered the mouthpiece and said to her, “It’s my dad.

” Her eyes widened, and she immediately covered the distance from the bed to where I stood.

I turned the phone on speaker so she could hear what Monica said.

“Where is he now?”

Monica gave me the hospital address as Kelsey started to get dressed and pulled out some clothes for me. Would this have happened if he’d been able to contact me? Fuck, what if my boundaries had pushed him to the edge?

“Monica, can you tell them I won’t be at the game tonight?

Tell them it’s a family emergency.” I wasn’t supposed to miss games; my contract required me to be in the bullpen, even on nights I wasn’t pitching.

Shit, guys had to fight to get time off when they had babies, but I trusted Monica to work with the team, and I’d figure out my consequences later.

“Of course, do you want me to call you a car to bring you to the hospital?”

“Yes, please.”

I hung up the phone and turned to Kelsey, my hands shaking as I reached for her. “Can you come with me?” I didn’t know what I was walking into, but I didn’t want to handle it alone.

“Of course, do we have time for me to nurse Crew first? If not, my dad should have plenty of milk.”

“Yeah, he’s stable. I don’t think twenty minutes will make a difference. ”

“Okay. I’ll be quick. I promise,” she said, slipping out the door.

I dialed Josie and let it ring through once before trying again. When she answered, she yelled, “This better be goddam important, Samuel.”

“It’s Dad.”

“Fuck, what happened?” I filled her in on what Monica had shared and told her I would call her more once I got to the hospital and had additional information. While I talked, she searched for flights to New York and booked one arriving after five that evening.

“Can you tell Mom?” I asked.

“Yeah, I will. Are you going to be okay until I get there?” Josie and I had been each other’s rocks through the turmoil in our childhood.

Unless you lived in a family torn apart from alcohol, you couldn’t understand what it was like to love your parent fiercely and loathe everything about them.

As adults, we understood why our mother left, but we hated her for giving up on him.

There was always a what-if, but I’d always wondered what our lives would have been like if only we’d been enough for him.

“Kelsey is coming with me. I’ll be good.”

“Okay, love you, Sammy,” she said, reverting to her childhood nickname for me.

“Love you, too, Jo Jo.”

Kelsey returned carrying Crew, who was actively nursing. Her father was in tow, and I had finished dressing. “Hey, my dad can take tomorrow off work to help with Crew. Is it okay with you if he texts Monica to book another night here? It doesn’t sound like we’ll make it to the Hamptons tonight.”

“That would be great. Can you ask her to try to book both rooms for another night?” I asked him while he nodded.

Crew had finished eating, and I held my arms out to him. I needed to feel him in my arms. How had my life changed so much that I sought comfort from this happy infant boy? He giggled when I blew a raspberry on his cheek and blew bubbles back at me before I handed him back to his grandfather.

Kelsey’s Dad clapped me on the back in a silent show of support as we both kissed Crew’s forehead and left.

“Sam,” Kelsey said, taking my hand and turning my head to meet her gaze, “This isn’t only yours to fix. I’m not leaving your side, okay?”

“Thank you,” I answered thickly, fighting back tears.