Page 13

Kelsey

W hen I got back to my apartment, I put Crew down in his bassinet, and thankfully, he stayed asleep. After the night at the ballgame, I felt sticky and needed a shower. I doubted Kylie was still awake, but I texted her to let her know we were home as the shower water warmed up.

Kylie: Sorry I took off on you. Yes, I’m up. Everything OK??

I finished my shower, dried off, and put on my pajamas. I would be working late tomorrow night and decided not to drive early in the morning. I wanted to sleep as late as Crew would let me. Having the extra funds in savings gave me a little more flexibility.

“Hey, sorry it’s so late. Sam had asked me to stay until he was done, and I guess he had more media than usual,” I said, settling in on my couch so as not to disturb Crew as he slept in the bedroom.

“That was an incredible game. I don’t know if you fully appreciate it, but Dad is jealous that he wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, he texted me. You know why Sam invited me?” I asked, still not fully understanding his reasoning.

“Superstition?”

“Or something like that. His perfect game means he’s even more convinced I brought him luck.”

“Well, we both know that’s garbage,” Kylie said. She and I had grown up pretty grounded in reality. We believed you made your luck, and no one was waiting to shower you with good luck and success.

“He asked me to travel to his next away game and said he would pay for my travel and compensate me.”

“But you have Crew.”

“He said Crew can come. Ky, I don’t follow these players, but you do. Are there red flags? Is there anything I should worry about?”

“Sam hasn’t had a public relationship in years, and I don’t think he’s a pig, meaning only that he’s not outwardly a womanizer. But I think you need to get some more details about the trip. How do you take an infant on a plane? Do you think it’s realistic to travel with Crew?”

“Ugh, or take an Uber to a game with a baby? I don’t think you can leave a car seat at a stadium entrance.

It’s not like you can bring one in with you.

” Mentally, I was starting to derail. My brain was having a hard time comprehending the basic logistics involved with traveling practically across the country with Crew.

“Why don’t you think of all your questions and ask him? Do you think he’s interested in you romantically?”

“Uh, doubtful. I showed up with my three-and-a-half- month-old infant son.” There are almost no men who would voluntarily sign up for that

“Did he ask you anything about Crew? Was he curious at all?”

“Yeah, he asked where his dad was, and I wasn’t ready to declare that I made a baby with a stranger to a virtual stranger.” I didn’t share with Kylie that I’d felt a touch of anger when Sam had thought Crew’s father had abandoned us.

“He’s a cute baby. The boy could charm anyone.”

“Well, yeah. He’s half me. Of course, he’s cute.”

“I still think you need to get serious about finding Tom. You need help, Kelsey. I hate seeing you work so hard only to barely keep your head above water.”

“It’s okay, Ky. I should be able to return to classes by January. I’ve got a plan.” Completing my nursing degree would provide a more stable income, but I’d likely never be able to pursue my master’s degree as I’d once intended.

“Good, don’t sacrifice your education. How about online classes?”

“It’s the cost. I can’t pay for it right now. Plus, I have mostly clinicals remaining. Those are all in person.”

“How much will the rich guy pay you to help him win?”

“First of all, I’m not helping him win. You and I both know that. Secondly, I don’t feel right taking his money.” Accepting money from Sam made me feel like a charity case. Yes, life was hard, but I could take care of myself and my son. I didn’t need a handout.

“Why? He’s got plenty to spare?”

“That’s not who I am, but I am fully aware that my entire savings account is due to tips from Sam.”

“Kelsey, he’s asking you to travel to another state with your baby; that alone is a lot of effort. Crew was good at the game, but what will you do when you are alone in the stadium and need to use the bathroom? I won’t be there to hold him next time.”

“Ugh, I’ll call Sam in the morning. This is not going to be that easy.

” I was overwhelmed at the thought of traveling alone with Crew.

I’d only ever traveled with family or a group of friends.

I’d seen families at the airport and on planes, but the babies had always been crying, and their parents had always looked exhausted and overwhelmed.

“You need to figure out how much you’d be giving up at work, not just during a slow shift but a busy one. And think about what expenses you will incur traveling. I don’t think it would be unreasonable to ask for $2,000 plus travel.”

“That’s ridiculous, Ky. That’s way too much.”

The conversation trailed off, and we said goodbye; I hung up and headed to bed.

Crew slept peacefully in his bassinet. We only had another month or so before he outgrew it.

I cringed, thinking about where I would fit a larger crib.

This room was tight as it was; I wouldn’t have room to walk once I upgraded his bed.

Once he was a toddler, we’d need a new place.

I couldn’t share a room with him forever.

In those moments, late at night, the enormity of the pressure I felt hit me.

There were no distractions, just me and my thoughts, and no matter how I tried to find solutions to these scenarios and potential pitfalls, I came up blank.

I couldn’t imagine a world where things would get easier for me. .