Page 86 of The Wrong Game

He laughed at that, and before I could even take it all in, we were already being tilted back to standing, the experience over.

As soon as we were upright, I leapt into Zach’s arms, and he caught me, spinning as the attendants ushered us out of the way so the next group could step up. They said something about picking up photos in the gift shop, but we barely heard it over our excitement, both of us talking over one another.

“I did it! Zach, oh my God, did you see that?”

“I knew you could.” He laughed, shaking his head as I pulled back, my legs still wrapped around his waist. “And how do you feel right now?”

“Like I could run a marathon,” I breathed, eyes wide. “Or like I just took heroine.”

Another laugh shot out of Zach as he lowered my feet to the ground, and he tilted my chin up with his knuckle, lowering his lips to mine.

“I am so proud of you,” he said, and when his lips pressed into mine once more, I inhaled him as deep as I could — his scent, the feel of his hands on me, the sound he made as he deepened the kiss.

I wanted to bottle it all up and keep a stash of it in my purse, just in case I ever wanted a shot.

I was still jittery, hands shaking like I’d had too much coffee as we made our way back across town to my condo. It was only a half-hour walk, and though October had spread the full fall spirit in Chicago, it was still warm enough to walk without being uncomfortable. If anything, I liked the walk more with the brisk breeze sweeping between the buildings, chilling my nose and hands.

“I still can’t believe we did that,” I said, looping my arm through Zach’s. “Thank you. And also, I’m sorry, because you might have just turned a scaredy cat into an adrenaline junkie.”

Zach chuckled. “As long as you take me along for the ride.”

“No promises.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never been up there before,” he said. “I mean, I know it’s a little touristy, but you’ve been in Chicago your whole life. How have you never gone?”

I shrugged, taking a deep breath as we stopped to wait for a traffic light. “I don’t know. I mean, like I said, my parents were always gone, and my grandpa, he was more of a country kind of guy. He used to have me stay with him out at his little farm house outside of the city rather than coming into the suburbs to watch me at my parents’ house.” I smiled, the memories resurfacing. “You wanna talk about a man who loved to help me get over fears. He once locked me in the little barn with all the chickens to prove they wouldn’t attack me when I went to feed them.”

“Sounds like my kind of guy.”

“Oh, you would have loved him,” I said as we started walking again, and my stomach twisted. “Honestly, I think he would have loved you, too.”

Zach pulled his arm from where I held it, draping it over my shoulder and pulling me closer to him, instead. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“Why’s that?”

I leaned into him more. “Because you’re persistent, and you don’t take life too seriously. He was the same way.”

“I’m honored that you would even put us in the same category,” he said. “Seems like he meant a lot to you.”

“He really did.”

We fell silent, Zach rubbing my shoulder as we walked, both of us taking in the city around us. And maybe it was that energy, the buzz of the lights, of another evening being lived by everyone around us, or maybe it was the high still surging through me from Tilt. Whatever it was, something shifted in that moment, with me tucked under Zach’s arms, and my next words slipped from my mouth before I could even consider stopping them.

“I was married.”

Zach didn’t miss a step, but his arm stiffened where it held me against him, and I glanced at his throat as his Adam’s apple bobbed once, hard and strong. My eyes drifted back to the sidewalk, watching my sneakers as I tried to figure out what to say next.

“We were college sweethearts, got married not too long after I graduated,” I said, not sure what to say about Carlo now.

Had he passed before I found out he was unfaithful, I would have had nothing but amazing things to say about him. I would have bragged about how strong he was, how handsome, how funny. I would have celebrated his accomplishments in the technology industry, told Zach about the apps Carlo helped make. Maybe I would have told him that Carlo liked simple things, like reading the newspaper on Sunday even though he worked in technology, or like holding the doors open for others.

But I wondered now how much I actually knew about the man I was married to.

“I loved him,” I said, because at least that was still true.

I knew I should say more, but I was suddenly all too aware of the bomb I’d just dropped. Silence weighed on us, the wind cooler now, harsher as it nipped at our noses.