Page 114 of The Wrong Game

My Beautiful Brielle,

There are no words I can say to comfort you in this time. If you are reading this letter, it means I’ve passed away, that I have left this physical Earth and you behind to live in it. And for that, I am truly sorry.

But what I want you to know more than anything is that I love you.

I have loved you since the very first moment I saw you, and my love for you has only grown over time. I’m so sorry I had to leave you before we could build our life together, the one we always pictured.

There are no words to make this easier, to —

I screamed.

I couldn’t read another word. Then again, I didn’t have to, because they were the same words I’d just read. They were the same words he’d written to me.

I screamed again, louder, the sound ripping through my throat like the last call of a dying animal. I grabbed the note in my hands, ready to rip it to shreds, but I stopped, crumpling it up and shoving it inside the box along with mine and everything else that had been inside it.

Then, I whipped around, and I heaved it across the room.

It hit my coffee table, the contents flying out and littering my floor, and I screamed again.

But that scream turned into a wail.

That wail turned into a cry.

And before I knew it, I was back on the ground again. And this time, I couldn’t find the strength to get back up.

How could I have ever have forgotten this pain?

How could I ever have been so stupid to think it was worth it to risk this again, to let someone in, to trust them when no one could be trusted?

Carlo was my everything. He was my light, my life, my best friend. And he betrayed me.

Zach would, too.

He may not want to. He may promise me he never will. He may even believe himself when he says it. But the truth is that no matter what he says, no matter what he believes, it can all change.

Love is a slick, curvy, dangerous road, and no one is in control. It doesn’t matter what you drive, how carefully you maneuver, who you trust to sit beside you or take the wheel when you’re tired.

The only way to stay safe is to stay off the road altogether.

I wouldn’t forget that again.

Zach

It was a sucker punch.

I had no idea it was coming, no idea I even needed to put gloves on as I got ready for work Thursday night.

I was bouncing around, jamming to music and thinking about how much I couldn’t wait to see Gemma. It didn’t matter that I’d just seen her Wednesday morning, climbing out of her bed with the sun — I already needed more.

That’s how it had been since the moment I met her — I always needed more. I needed another game, another night, another chance. Once I got it, I needed to know more about her, needed inside her heart, needed her to find a home inside mine.

The last few weeks had been a blur and a slow dance all at once. My family loved her, Doc loved her, and when she was there on one of the nights I needed her most… I thought maybe I did, too.

It was too soon for that, I knew it before I even let myself think the words. But just because it was too soon to say them didn’t mean I couldn’t feel what I felt.

I couldn’t wait to see her again, and she was coming to the bar that night. To top it off, if the Bears got another W, we’d put ourselves in great shape for the playoff race.

It was going to be a good night.