Page 120 of The Wrong Game

My shoulders fell. “I just don’t want to get hurt.”

“Right,” she said. “Because you’re totally not hurting right now.”

I didn’t respond, but her words hit me subtly, softly, but with a punch — like a needle prick to the heart.

“Look, I’m not telling you what to do, Gemma,” Belle said. “But I will tell you this. The way Zach looks at you? The way he saw the best in you, before you’d even shown it to him? The way he fought for you,stillfights for you, the way he opens up to you and lets you see the things that scarehimmost?” She shook her head. “That is rare. It is so,sorare, babe. And I’m not going to say what’s the right decision, but I will say that if I were you, if it were me in your shoes?” Belle smiled, taking my hand in hers. “Girl, I would chase that boy. And if I caught him again, if he let me have another shot, I’d never let him go.”

“And if he leaves me in a year, or two? If he cheats on me? If he…”

“If-if-if,” she mimicked. “If he leaves, or you leave, if one of you changes your mind and this whole thing goes down in flames? Well, at least you tried. And at least you got to feel the kind of love most people dream about. At least, for even a few short steps in this life, you got to have someone walking beside you — someone holding your hand and caring whether or not you’re okay.” She swallowed. “That alone is worth the risk.”

I closed my eyes, setting free a new wave of tears as the brick on my chest lifted, my lungs trembling for air, heart beating faster.

I wanted him.

I knew he could hurt me. I knew I could hurthim. I knew it could all go up in a catastrophic dumpster fire in the end. But I couldn’t let go — not yet.

I didn’t want to exist in a world where we didn’t at least try.

“Oh, God,” I said, covering my lips with one, shaking hand. “This is what always happens. I felt out of control, so I just… flipped out. I let my emotions rule everything. I should have talked to you first. I should have talked tohim.” I shook my head. “What do I do? How do I… I said so many awful things. He opened up to me, and asked me to stay, and I just…”

“Hey,” Belle said, lowering her gaze to mine. “He doesn’t owe you anything, okay? He may not want to try again. But, you won’t know that untilyoutry.” She shrugged. “This is it. You have to make your move, and then, you have to wait and hope he makes one back.”

Make my move.

I ran over her words in my head, still sitting on that cold tile floor as visions of Zach’s smile, of his dark, loving eyes surrounded me.

Belle was right.

It was now or never, and there was no guarantee that anything would work. He didn’t owe me a second chance, but I would beg him for one, anyway.

It was time to make my move.

I hoped I’d make the right one.

Zach

“Ugh, gag me,” Micah said Saturday evening, crossing his arms over where he sat next to me in his bed.

“Shhh.” I waved him off, my eyes on the small television screen propped on the dresser at the foot of his bed. We were near the end ofSilver Linings Playbook, and Bradley Cooper hugged Robert De Niro, heeding his advice about the girl who’d just left the room — the girl who loved him, the girl he loved in return.

Jennifer Lawrence.

“I’m sorry, but this is just crap,” Micah continued. “What? He’s just going to suddenly drop this obsession he’s had this whole time for his wife, or ex-wife, or whatever she is, and go for this other girl instead?”

“Shhh!” I said again, this time smacking his arm. “This is the best part. Shut up.”

Micah groaned, but I ignored him, watching as Bradley chased Jennifer through the streets. She screamed at him to leave her alone, and then one of my all-time favorite love professions took place, and I recited it with Bradley, word for word.

That earned me another hard eye roll from Micah.

When the words were out, Jennifer was back in Bradley’s arms, kissing him and sealing the truth in every word he’d just said. I let out a long sigh, chest aching, tears stinging the corners of my eyes, though I didn’t let them fall.

“You’re such a loser.”

I pegged Micah with a pillow. “What happened to being here for me with brotherly support?”

“I didn’t realize it would be such a chick fest.”