Page 63 of The Wrong Game
“Because she can’t stop talking about you,” Belle answered easily. I couldn’t help the way my stomach flipped at that, a smile climbing at the corner of my lips. “Even if it is only to say how much you infuriate her.”
I laughed, and suddenly the energy running through me was too much. I stood, pacing the porch. Hope tried to fly again, but I couldn’t let go of everything Gemma had said to me on the phone, and I couldn’t erase everything I’d seen that night at the bar.
“She doesn’t want me around, Belle,” I said on a sigh. “She made that perfectly clear. Why would I waste my time with someone who doesn’t give a shit about me?”
“Because you want her just as much as she wants you.”
“I’m not saying that’s not true,” I conceded. “But at what point does it go from me being persistent and romantic to me being pathetic and weak? Or worse — to not listening to what she is telling me she wants and respecting that.” I shook my head, stopping at the railing again and staring off in the distance. “She took another guy home, right in front of me. And then she called me and asked me to befriends. I mean, seriously,” I said, almost laughing. “How much more of a sign can she give me?”
“She didn’t take him home.”
I paused. “What?”
“Andy. When I went outside, she was already on her way back into the bar to talk to you. I told her to wait until she was sober.”
My heart stopped in my throat, kicking back to life somewhere in my chest where it was supposed to be.
“She told Andy to get lost,” Belle continued. “And I made sure he did what she said. Andy went back inside the bar, Gemma went home with me — and she went to bed alone.”
She hadn’t taken him home?I searched my memory of that night, wondering how I missed Andy coming back inside the bar. I couldn’t remember seeing him again. Then again, I couldn’t remember seeing anything other than the red blazing behind my eyelids as I managed my way through the last of my shift.
Belle was quiet as I processed.
“She still called me the next day and told me she wanted to be friends…” I said after a moment, though my heart squeezed in protest under my rib cage, telling me to go after her even though she’d told me to leave it alone. I was torn between listening to her, respecting her wishes, and wanting to believe her best friendandmy own intuition that said she was interested in me.
What a fucking gray area.
Belle stayed quiet a long time, not answering me, and then there was a long huff on the other end.
“Fine. You’re right. You should just give up. I mean, I’m sure you haven’t thought about her once since that night, anyway, right?”
My jaw clenched, stomach churning.
“And I’m sure you don’t care that she’s got another date lined up for tomorrow’s game, that she could potentially takethatguy home with her — even if she didn’t do that with Andy.”
I gritted my teeth more.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’ve completely moved on and filed her away in that box of normal, boring, dime-a-dozen girls who got away. I’m sorry I even called, I’m wasting your time.”
But Belle didn’t hang up, she just paused, waiting for my response because she knew I’d have one.
“You made your point,” I managed between clenched teeth, another long exhale leaving my chest. But I still wasn’t sold. It didn’t matter how much Gemma had been on my mind — she’d asked me to fuck off as politely as she could.
Then again, if she’d meant that, why was her best friend calling me?
I wanted to believe Belle — if for no other reason than because what she was saying was what I wanted to hear. But, I also cared about Gemma, and I didn’t want to push her away. I had already settled on being her friend — in whatever capacity I could be.
“Why do you care?” I asked after a moment, picking at the paint chipping off the wood of our porch railing. “You see the way she acts with me, and you were there Monday night. I’m sure you also talked to her the next day, before she even called me.”
“Exactly,” she said, as if the answer was obvious. “I was there. I see everything you do, but I know her better than you do, too — probably better than anyone. She was sick the next morning when she woke up, Zach. All day, actually. And whether she wants to admit it or not, she likes you. She’s just terrified.”
I nodded, because I knew that fear all too well. There was only one girl I’d ever dated and told I loved her, and she’d turned her back on me as soon as my promise of going pro was out the window. I knew what betrayal felt like, how long that sting lasted. It was enough to never want to try again.
“I know it seems like I’m being a dick best friend,” she continued when I didn’t say anything. “I mean, here Gemma is telling us both what she wants. I should listen. I should just… back off. But, I love her,” she said on a sigh. “Andthat’swhy I can’t listen to what she says, not when everything she’snotsaying is speaking so much louder. She’s told me before to save her from herself, to do for her what she would do for me. And, well… I believe this is one of those scenarios.”
“I get that, I really do,” I said. “But… instead of trying to read her, to say you know what’s best, why not just listen to what she’s telling you, what she’s tellingme?”
“Because,” she answered with a huff, exasperated. She caught a breath before she continued. “I’m just… I’m tired of watching my best friend hurt and not doing anything to try to fix it. She has done so much for me, Zach… so much.”