Page 9

LUCAS

W e finally had a lead on the Curse Breaker Wand, and Nadine was utilizing every spare moment she had looking for more clues, though she hadn’t found any yet.

My cousin Jess invited Nadine and me out for coffee the following week. It was her last day in town, and she’d be leaving for Boston in the morning with a moving van.

“Lucas! It’s been a while!” Jess said brightly as we entered The Cozy Cat café. “Nadine, it’s good to see you again.”

We exchanged hugs, then placed our orders at the counter. The café featured a large selection of paninis and specialty sandwiches. I ordered a chicken bacon ranch panini, which sounded really good. We gathered around a table near the window with our coffees as we waited for our food to come out.

I turned to Jess. “It really has been a while. I haven’t seen you since that family reunion back when I was in high school.”

“Don’t remind me,” Jess groaned.

Nadine glanced between us. “I take it things didn’t go well?”

“Our dads tried to start a fistfight,” Jess said casually.

Nadine sipped her coffee. “You say that like it’s a regular occurrence.”

“It is when you get those two men in a room together,” I stated.

“Men? You mean children ?” Jess cracked. “Goddess, those two never grew up. I don’t want to talk about our family, though. How have you been?”

I cupped my hands around my mug, really contemplating the question. “Better,” I said honestly. “I’m back in therapy, which has helped a lot, but we’re talking about putting me on meds.”

Jess’s shoulders fell sympathetically. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, Lucas, but I went on antidepressants a few years back, and there are a lot of side effects they never tell you about. Just be sure you know what you’re getting into.”

“They didn’t work for you?” I asked.

“That depends on your definition,” she replied. “I wasn’t as sad anymore, but I became numb to everything, so much that I’d say whatever I was feeling without questioning if it was appropriate or not. Sometimes, that could really hurt the people around me. All intimacy with my husband stopped, because my desire went away. I thought I went on meds for my own mental health, but I learned that it affected everyone around me. I thought doing it would make it easier on everyone else, but I realized that the way I treat my illness affected other people, too.”

“How’d they make you feel?” I wondered.

“There was an emptiness inside of me, but it was a different kind of emptiness than I’d ever felt before,” Jess explained. “In the worst of my depression, the emptiness felt lonely and all-consuming, like I could be swallowed up by a black hole, and I’d be relieved if I didn’t wake up in the morning.”

I understood that feeling far too well.

Jess sighed. “This wasn’t like that. It didn’t feel like I was on the precipice of a deep, dark hole that wanted to consume me. It was more like there was nothing there at all—no darkness, but also no light. Meds really did stabilize my mood, but it was to the extreme. There was no sadness like I used to feel, but those rare glimmers of joy were gone, too. It seemed I could only feel one thing, and everything else had gone foggy. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought my spirit had left my body and I was watching my life from above, because I didn’t feel attached to my body at all. I didn’t even notice until my husband pointed it out. I felt like I was just going through the motions, and I didn’t like the way that felt.”

“That’s the opposite of how my friend Miles talks about his experience,” I said.

“It’s different for everyone,” Jess replied. “I was angry about it for a long time. Antidepressants were helping my friends live better lives, but they were only making me feel worse. It felt unfair. I couldn’t even be treated for my depression because the treatments weren’t working. I did everything I was supposed to, followed all the doctors’ advice, and even though I was doing everything right, I didn’t see the payoff.”

Jess wasn’t trying to scare me. She was only sharing her own lived experience. But her story made me hesitate, because I didn’t want this if my body was going to react the same way hers did.

“I’m sorry you went through that,” I said. “It’s hard to know what to do when some people have a great experience and others don’t. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me. Hearing from both sides will help me make a better decision when I’m ready.”

“I’m sure whatever you decide will be the right choice,” Jess assured me.

Our paninis arrived then. We didn’t have a lot of time until she left town, so I changed the topic to something more cheerful. “Tell us about Boston. What’s your new place like?”

Jess started talking about her move, telling us about the apartment she’d found and how it was so close to her treatment center, as well as an art gallery she wanted to get involved in. The way she raved about the neighborhood, it sounded like she was going to be really happy there.

Nadine’s phone rang near the end of our meal. She looked like she was about to decline the call, until she glanced at the screen and her features fell. “It’s Chloe. Sorry, I have to take this.”

Chloe’s voice was muffled from the other end of the line, so I didn’t hear what she said, but it was clear as day by the look on Nadine’s face that it was an emergency.

“We’ll be right there,” Nadine said quickly, before hanging up. She turned to me, her features ashen. “Grant had a diabetic reaction. He’s in the emergency room.”

I stood right away. “I’ll drive. Sorry to cut this short, Jess. It was good to see you again. I wish you the best of luck in Boston.”

“Thank you, and don’t worry about me. Go visit your friend.” Jess stood to give me a goodbye hug, and she squeezed me a bit tighter than normal. “And Lucas? I know you’ll never hear this from anyone else in our family, so I want you to hear it from me. You’ve got this .”

“That means a lot,” I told her. Jess and I weren’t close, but she was family, and it was nice to know that she cared.

Nadine and I hurried out of The Cozy Cat café and drove to the hospital. When we got there, the nurses let us through to the patient rooms right away. We found Chloe and Onyx talking in the hall outside a private room with a glass wall. The curtains around the bed were drawn, and I could only assume Grant was inside. It looked like a private room, which the staff must’ve prepared just for him since he was a priest, because beds were limited now.

“How’s Grant?” Nadine asked immediately.

“He’s stable,” Onyx assured us. “Talia’s with him, and the doctors have hooked him up to an IV to help with dehydration. He got an insulin shot, which will help bring his blood sugar back to normal.”

“What happened?” I asked.

Chloe looked shaken, which wasn’t a good sign. It took a lot to crack her hard exterior. “Grant and I were having lunch together—just the two of us because Talia had gone to a meeting at the school. Grant’s meeting got canceled, so I invited him to eat with me at headquarters. Everything was fine at first. We had our food delivered, he took his potion, and we started eating and chatting.”

The potion she mentioned had to be the one Grant was brewing for his diabetes. He’d been taking it for over a year now, ever since the priestesses cut his insurance and he couldn’t afford his insulin shots anymore. I’d hoped he’d go back on insulin when we returned to Octavia Falls, but medical resources were already stretched thin, and he didn’t want to risk being unable to fill his prescription. In my opinion, brewing potions was just as risky right now with the Waning getting worse by the day, but he had a large stock of potion that wouldn’t spoil.

“Then Grant’s breathing changed, and he started giving one-word answers,” Chloe continued. “His face flushed, and when I asked him if he was okay, he said he was really tired and had a headache. I said something might be wrong with his medication, but he didn’t even get a chance to respond before he was vomiting. I immediately called an ambulance.”

“Can we see him?” Nadine asked.

“Of course.” Onyx stepped aside, and we entered the treatment room.

Grant was lying on the bed, and though his features were a bit ashen, he was awake and coherent. Talia sat beside him, holding his hand. Bella and Gus were both curled up on the bed next to Grant.

“How are you feeling?” I asked him.

“Crappy, but I’ll live,” he admitted, before turning to Onyx. “What’s the verdict?”

“The doctors are still working on getting you answers,” Onyx said. “I’ve spoken to your care team, but really, I’m here as a friend. The doctors want to run more tests.”

Talia dotted her eyes with a tissue. “Could this be a side-effect of the potion he’s been brewing?”

“It could be,” Onyx said carefully, like she was trying not to freak anyone out. “Symptoms like this aren’t unusual in diabetic patients, but it usually takes hours or days to develop, and it appears this came on more suddenly.”

“Why would Grant have a reaction now?” I asked. “He’s been taking this brew for over a year now, and nothing like this has ever happened before.”

Onyx frowned. I didn’t think she wanted to say much without Grant’s care providers in the room. “The thing is, there isn’t any viable research on the potion Grant was brewing, so we don’t know the long-term effects it might have. That’s something to ask his doctors about.”

Grant sighed. “You can say it, Onyx. I screwed up. Everyone told me I shouldn’t be brewing my own medication, and they were right. But also, I didn’t have a lot of options, and that brew kept me alive when the medical system couldn’t. Sometimes, you’ve got to take these things into your own hands, even if it comes back to bite you in the ass later.”

He leaned over to rub his butt. “And ouch… I bit myself hard.”

I nudged him in the shoulder. “Good to see you still have your sense of humor.”

He shrugged weakly. “Someone’s got to. Eventually, you get so sick of seeing the inside of a hospital that laughing about it is the only way to get through it. Got to keep our spirits alive.”

“You’re going to be okay, then?” Talia asked, stroking his arm.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Grant promised. “Literally. Not as long as they’ve got me hooked up to this IV.”

We all chuckled, though it was uncomfortable laughter.

“In all seriousness, I let this go on too long,” Grant admitted. “I should’ve sought out proper care in Hok’evale , or at the very least, checked in with my doctors when we returned to Octavia Falls. I’m going to get back on the right medication, and I’ll be back to normal soon. I’m just lucky Chloe was there to help.”

Chloe waved a hand. “It was nothing. Anyone would’ve done the same thing.”

“Anyone can call an ambulance, but not just anyone can chew an EMT out the way you did when they didn’t strap me in properly,” Grant said.

“Oh, yeah. Our ride to the hospital was fun ,” Chloe replied sarcastically. “We’d have been here sooner if the driver hadn’t taken a wrong turn.”

“You guys should’ve seen her barking directions,” Grant chuckled. “I mean it, Chloe. I’m glad you were there. I know things haven’t always been easy between the two of us. I wasn’t sure for the longest time that you could be trusted, or that you really meant it when you said you wanted to change. But after all this time together, I can honestly say I misjudged you. I’m lucky to call you my friend.”

Chloe teared up, but she quickly cleared her throat. “After today, you don’t have a choice. I saved your life.”

“Trauma bond!” Grant joked in a high-pitched voice. He lifted his fist, and Chloe fist-bumped him in agreement. It was nice to finally see them getting along.

Shouts from out in the hall caught our attention. “Miss, you can’t come back here,” a nurse said loudly.

“It’s okay. My daughter works here,” a woman insisted.

Onyx went visibility rigid. “My break is over. I’ll see you guys after work.”

She raced out of the room like her ass was on fire. We all exchanged an uncomfortable glance. I went over to the curtain and peered out the door.

“I’ll handle it,” Onyx told another nurse, before turning to a woman who clearly didn’t work here.

The woman was tall and wore business slacks with a black blazer. Her auburn hair fell in neat curls, and she looked like she’d just come from work at an office job. Onyx spoke to her in hushed whispers, so I couldn’t hear her, but whatever conversation they were having appeared heated. The woman sneered something back, though she kept her features calm. All I could hear was the word ungrateful .

Onyx lost her cool, and her voice rose. “Mom, you cannot come into my place of work like this! This is the third time this week.”

I’d heard stories of Onyx’s mother before, and none of them were good. I remembered Onyx had told us her mom’s name was Heidi.

Heidi took a step back, acting shocked. “I merely wanted to take my only daughter out for lunch, but you never showed up. Am I not worth the courtesy of an explanation?”

Onyx glanced up and down the hall. There were other nurses and patients there, and it was obvious Onyx was trying to keep the situation under control. “Mom,” she stated in a calm but firm tone. “You need to leave.”

Heidi didn’t bat an eye. “I’m not leaving until I get an explanation.”

“I’ve said all I need to say to you,” Onyx replied. “You know why I wasn’t at lunch. I told you last time I wasn’t coming.”

Onyx’s mother grabbed her so hard by the arm that I could see her skin turning red beneath her mother’s grip. “Keep your voice down,” her mom sneered. “I will not have you embarrass me in front of other people.”

Nope. I wasn’t letting this happen.

I stepped out into the hall, and Onyx’s gaze locked with mine. She wore a pleading expression, begging me not to get involved. I knew that feeling of sheer embarrassment all too well. Heidi didn’t notice me as she yanked Onyx around the corner.

“You’ve been very distant lately, and frankly, your distance is depressing me,” I overheard Heidi say. “What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to go to therapy,” Onyx begged. “I’ve asked you to do that a million times, and it’s like you don’t hear me.”

“I don’t need to waste my time and money for some shrink to tell me how I feel,” Heidi sneered. “I already know how I feel, and I know we could fix this if you’d work with me, but you won’t do that, because it’s always about you and what you think you deserve.”

“I deserve a mom who’s willing to work on herself,” Onyx insisted.

Heidi scoffed. “I deserve a daughter who thinks I’m great! I did everything for you. I put a roof over your head and food on the table, yet the second you had a chance to go live with your little friends, you completely abandoned me. You’ve changed, Onyx.”

“Good!” Onyx cried. “That’s what children are supposed to do, Mom. They grow up. I’m in my twenties. You need to stop treating me like I’m nine.”

“You just love to make me feel worthless, don’t you?” Heidi sneered. “You’re such a little bitch, prancing around the hospital all day caring for your patients, but what about your mother?”

“I’m a nurse,” Onyx said. “It’s my job to care about these people.”

“You’re my daughter,” Heidi shot back. “It’s your job to care about me . If you think any of these people care about you, you’re stupid.”

“I’m not stupid, Mom,” Onyx demanded. “You always said I wasn’t smart enough to work in healthcare, but you were wrong. I got my nursing license despite everything working against me, and I’m a damn good nurse. I will never let you tell me differently.”

Onyx stormed past me before her mom could respond. She ran down the hall and around the corner.

Our friends had followed me into the hall, but they looked confused. I didn’t think they’d caught the whole conversation, and I was glad they hadn’t. Onyx didn’t need everyone to know the depth of her mother’s abuse.

There was understanding in Nadine’s eyes, though. I knew Onyx had confided in her about her mother before, but that had been Onyx’s story to tell, and Nadine never mentioned much about it. I suspected Nadine knew more than I did up until today.

“I’ll talk to Onyx,” I told them.

Nadine lifted her chin as Heidi stepped around the corner. The older woman appeared horrified when she saw us standing there, and she knew she’d been caught. “We’ll take care of this ,” Nadine told me.

Chloe crossed her arms and pursed her lips. I was already on my way down the hall, but I heard her say to Heidi, “Are you going to leave this building on your own, or are you going to make priestesses do it for you?”

“I’m going,” Heidi snapped.

I followed Onyx outside and into the hospital gardens. A pathway cut from one entrance of the hospital to another and was surrounded by trees and flowers. A fountain sat in the middle of the gardens, along with a gazebo on the other end. It should’ve been beautiful, but the gardens appeared abandoned. Flowers were dying, and the fountain hadn’t been turned on. The gardens were empty apart from the two of us. I found Onyx sitting on a bench in the gazebo with her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook in sobs.

“Hey,” I said lightly. “Mind some company?”

Onyx lifted her head and wiped her eyes. She moved over on the bench. “Sorry you had to see that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” I assured her as I took a seat beside her. “You don’t deserve to be treated that way.”

“I know, but I also don’t know how to stop it,” Onyx admitted. “Everyone wants to talk about setting boundaries and standing up for yourself, but it isn’t that simple when people plow straight through those boundaries and keep on going. To act as if I’m just letting her step all over me is an insult to my character, because I do set boundaries. I do stand up for myself. And I still get shit on. It doesn’t matter if I’m being nice to her or aggressively telling her exactly what I think, because nothing works. Some people will stop at nothing to break you. What she said in there isn’t a fraction as bad as how she usually treats me.”

“I understand,” I said gently. “These solutions are nice in theory, but the chances of it actually working on people like this are slim to none.”

Onyx wiped her eyes. “I try not to let her bother me, but her persistence is overwhelming. If I’m not answering her texts at all hours of the day, she shows up at my work and makes a scene. I can’t get my work done efficiently or be there for my patients when I’m afraid she’s going to be lurking around the corner. She shows up here almost every day to harass me. She wants me to be at her every beck and call, and if I’m not available, she has to do something rash to exercise control over me.”

Heidi was a lot like my parents, but she seemed even more persistent and controlling. I had a good idea of what Onyx was going through, but there were aspects of her mother I’d never understand. It was hard to watch my friend go through this, especially someone so resilient and strong like Onyx. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her cry, and that was sad, because there was a reason she always held it together. She’d had to from an early age, and it wasn’t fair.

“I can talk to your mom,” I offered. “If the only language she speaks is aggression, I can be so fucking mean she’ll never show her face around here again.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want you to do that.”

“I’m not going to hurt her,” I promised. “But I can be so scary she’ll have to listen.”

I was already plotting on donning my reaper robe and bringing along my scythe to scare the living hell out of her.

Onyx frowned. “Has that ever worked on your parents?”

“No,” I admitted. “But Heidi isn’t my mom. She can’t control me.”

Onyx hung her head hopelessly. “You know as well as I do that’s not going to work. There’s nothing we can do that will make our parents listen. Lucas, I’ve tried everything. My mom never wanted a kid, and from the day I was born, she made certain I knew it. I was always an extension of her, instead of my own person. She was sick of beating herself up, so she found a new toy to play with. She wanted me to be as miserable as she was. I’m not a person to her, and I’m so sick of being her personal punching bag.”

“I know this is hard,” I told her. “We’re all here to help you, and we’re going to do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe.”

“I know, and your friendship means the world to me,” Onyx replied. “When I was growing up, my mom sabotaged every friendship I ever had. Every time I thought I found a friend, they’d meet my mom and go running off in the other direction. I was the luckiest girl in the world when you guys welcomed me in, because for the first time in my life, I felt like I had real friends—friends my mother couldn’t touch. Our time together living at the safe house was the happiest time of my life, because my mom didn’t know where I was and couldn’t get in touch with me.”

Onyx shuddered. “I thought she might’ve changed in the time we were gone, that she would realize her mistakes and commit to doing better, but if anything, she’s been worse since we’ve been back. It’s like all that time we were gone, she’s been plotting new ways to destroy me. I’m so happy you guys are my friends, but friends alone can’t solve this.”

“We’re going to do our damndest,” I promised. “I’m going to start by talking to the hospital staff and making sure they know she’s banned from the building.”

Onyx shook her head. “That would help me at my job, but it doesn’t solve the problem outside of work. She’ll still be blowing up my phone, and if I block her, she’ll track me down outside of work. We both know what I need to do, Lucas.”