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Emmett helped me transfer her body to the car, then into the woods behind my house. We laid Nicole’s body on the cot inside the hideout we’d used as kids.

Emmett stepped back and stared down at Nicole’s unmoving form. “This isn’t a proper resting place, Clarice. She’s too exposed to the elements. Her body will rot.”

I leaned down to pick up one of the sticks we used to pretend were wands. I twisted it around in my hands. Back then, it felt like anything was possible if we had magic. I’d seen so many witches perform incredible spells, and I couldn’t wait for the day our magic awoke. We’d done our Evoking Ceremonies together. It was a beautiful thing to be placed into two separate Casts, because it meant we could accomplish far more together with our magic working in harmony. When we got our powers, we both agreed that nothing could stop us.

We were sorely mistaken. There was one thing that could stop us… our coven, the very people who’d sworn to protect and help us.

I’d given Nicole so many promises that were now broken. We’d promised we would be together forever, no matter the distance between us, but I never imagined she’d be ripped from my life and trapped realms away. I felt immense guilt that I couldn’t stop the priestesses. The promises I’d made felt wholly empty now, because despite our sentiments, we weren’t together. I had failed her.

“I know a potion that will preserve her body for many years,” I told Emmett flatly. “We use it sometimes for Mortana Studies, to preserve cadavers for students to study on. All I need is some Mortana crystals, which are easy enough to come by.”

“Nothing about this is easy,” he replied. “If you need anything at all, let me know.”

I stared down at Nicole’s pale features. “I need my sister back, but that isn’t going to happen, now is it?”

Emmett dropped his gaze. “No. I’m afraid not.”

There was nothing he could do to help, so I told Emmett to leave. We agreed not to tell anyone about what we’d done with Nicole’s body, because we didn’t want anyone to come looking for her. I brewed and administered the potion to preserve Nicole’s body that night, all while Odin pawed at her like he expected her to get up and start moving.

“She won’t,” I told him. “Not anymore. Not ever.”

I’d heard the phrase deafening silence before, but there was no piercing quiet that could compare to returning to the house alone that night. I was so used to hearing the sound of my sister’s spoon clinking against her teacup before bed, and the pad of her feet down the hall when she retired to her room. Tonight, the silence was as all-consuming as the empty hole that had opened up in my chest.

I lit candles and called out to my sister. She wasn’t here anymore, but she wasn’t gone . If I could contact her, maybe all of this would make sense. I needed it to make sense, because without her, nothing had any meaning at all.

The lights flickered, but the séance failed. That night and the next. And the next after that.

We shared a soul, but I couldn’t get through to her. It was the curse of having a twin flame. Because we shared the same soul, reaching out to her merely meant I was reaching out to myself, and the piece of my soul that remained on Earth was already here. My power couldn’t make sense of where my half of our soul ended and hers began. She could be lost amongst the many realms of the afterlife, for all I knew. I certainly felt as if our soul had lost all sense of direction.

Days faded into weeks, which became months. Each passing day turned out to be more meaningless than the last. I’d had most of the summer off, and while I’d been offered and accepted the position as headmistress, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

Nicole would’ve wanted to celebrate. I was the youngest headmistress in Miriam College history, and she’d have hyped me up to the whole town and never let them forget it. She’d have thrown a big party and told everyone, “That’s my sister!” all night long. She’d have been proud I accomplished my life-long dream, but now, I had no one to share it with.

Even my best friend Faith couldn’t help. She’d left Octavia Falls long ago, and though we kept in touch, she couldn’t be here, and she’d never return. Besides, she had a daughter to take care of, and I didn’t want to burden her family with my woes.

I sat on the edge of the tub one day, watching the ripples across the surface of the water as the tub filled. I pulled the belt on my bathrobe tight around my ribs, so much that I limited myself to shallow breaths. Sitting in the discomfort was the only way to remind myself I was still alive. Otherwise, I didn’t feel like I was in my body at all.

I hated every second of it. Either my mind was somewhere else entirely and I lost hours at a time, or I was trapped in my own body. Both options felt like a prison.

I wondered what it’d be like to set my spirit free. I could be with her again. My soul would be whole once more, and I could start over in a new incarnation. It was that, or request my reaper destroy my soul, because going on living like this was no longer an option.

I didn’t know what I was still doing here, to be honest. There was nothing here for me anymore. If I couldn’t share my life with my sister, I didn’t want it.

I didn’t let myself think about it. I sank into the tub, bathrobe and all. The water was scorching hot on my skin, but it barely registered. I let my head dip beneath the surface of the water, and I just laid there… waiting for the water to take me away to another place.

Pressure built up in my lungs. I heard the splash of the water overflow over the side of the tub, and Odin cried loudly from outside the bathroom door. Darkness pressed in from all sides. In the distance, I thought I heard my name. I imagined it was Nicole calling me home to Alora. For the first time in months, I felt wholly at peace as I began to drift away?—

The bathroom door burst open, and hands landed on me and dragged me upward. I gasped as my head broke the surface of the water. Someone dragged me onto the cold tile, and water splashed everywhere. I heard the faucet turn off. I heaved for breath and blinked the world back into focus.

Emmett Carlisle knelt beside me, panting. His features appeared pale. “Clarice! Thank Alora I got here just in time.”

I pushed him away. I was angry that he’d stopped me. “You shouldn’t have come!”

He’d checked on me a lot in those first few weeks, but slowly his visits grew more and more infrequent. I hadn’t seen him all month.

“What are you doing here?” I spat.

“I came to see how you were doing,” he said. “I heard Odin crying, so I let myself in the front door. I knew something was wrong. The bathroom door was locked, but you didn’t answer. I broke it down with a battle spell.”

“You shouldn’t have,” I sneered. “If you saw this in one of your visions, you should’ve just let it happen.”

“I didn’t see it. I came because I was worried.”

“You can stop worrying,” I snarled as I got to my feet. “I know how to save myself now.”

“Clarice, you can’t!” Emmett pressed. “There must be a reason I was prompted to come today. Mother Miriam must have a divine plan, which means you still have a purpose here.”

“Mother Miriam doesn’t care, or she’d have answered my prayers!” I shouted.

“Perhaps she did,” he replied softly.

If he was suggesting his presence was somehow an answer to my prayers, he was sorely mistaken. All I wanted was to be with my sister again, and he had prevented me from doing that.

“You’re here by chance, and there’s nothing more to it than that,” I said.

“There must be,” he argued. “Nicole would’ve wanted you to keep going.”

I froze at the mention of her name. Nicole certainly would’ve been disappointed in me, that was for sure. I didn’t like that he was using her against me.

Emmett grabbed a towel off the shelf. “Here. Dry off and let’s chat.”

He wasn’t giving me any other option. Didn’t matter, though. I’d just try again once he left. What was another few minutes in this cursed existence compared to the last three months of it?

“All right,” I agreed as I took the towel from his hands.

I dried off and changed, then joined Emmett in my living room. He remained silent.

“Well?” I was less than friendly, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get this over with.

He spoke slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully. “What you were about to do in there breaks my heart, Clarice. I need you to understand how precious life is, because you never know how much time you have left.”

“I know,” I stated flatly. “My sister’s death taught me that.”

“I don’t think you do know,” he urged. “This isn’t about Nicole. This is about you.”

“What’s the difference?” I scoffed. “The night Nicole died, I died with her. My reaper just forgot to come for me. I’m stuck here until I decide to do something about it.”

“Even witches don’t have the power over death that you think we do,” he argued. “You go when it’s your time, whether you want to or not.”

“You will never convince me it was Nicole’s time to go. It wasn’t fate or destiny that took her life—it was the priestesses.”

And then they’d just… left me here to pick up the pieces alone. No apology. Nothing. I had to pretend as if what they’d done was justified, in order to prevent myself from suffering the same fate. Though, I didn’t think that’d be a terrible way to go anymore.

“We don’t know if Nicole’s fate was predetermined,” Emmett said. “But I do know that you’re sitting here in front of me with a life and a purpose. Why would you want to throw all that away?”

“There’s nothing left for me. All I had was taken away,” I replied hollowly.

“You’re choosing to see things like that when you still have time to make another choice,” he growled, clearly getting upset with me. It was cruel, honestly. “You have a whole life ahead of you, and you’re letting yourself be defined by one moment instead of allowing it to push you forward.”

“You don’t get it!” I snapped. “My sister died. ”

“We all die eventually!” Emmett shouted. “All we can do is make the most of the time we’ve got. Giving up defeats the whole purpose.”

“And what if there is no purpose?” I shot back.

Emmett gritted his teeth. “Then I guess you’ll just waste away, all that work and all your accolades gone. You won’t make the mark on the world you hoped for, and everyone will forget you.”

I reeled back. “I thought you came to help. How can you be so callous?”

“Because you’re not the only one who’s lost something!” he shouted. Emmett threw his hand over his mouth, looking regretful at his words. Tears beaded in the corners of his eyes, and he sounded defeated as his shoulders sank. “The truth is, I came today to say goodbye. I’m dying, Clarice.”

That was certainly news. My temper melted away, and my tone softened. “Emmett, I had no idea.”

“I haven’t told anyone. It’s cancer, and I’m afraid even magic can’t provide a cure.”

“How long have you known?” I asked.

“A while,” he admitted. “It’s why I advocated for you to become headmistress. I don’t have much longer, and the cancer has progressed to the point I can’t continue to hide it.”

I’d noticed he appeared pale when he arrived, but I’d taken it to be distress. The closer I looked now, the more I realized how unwell he looked. He’d lost weight and moved slowly, when he used to be so vibrant and full of life.

“There are treatments,” I offered. “Alchemists have potions that can help slow the progression.”

“And how is someone like me supposed to afford that?” he demanded. “I’m a teacher . I barely have enough for retirement, let alone medical treatments. There was so much more I wanted to do. I haven’t finished my research. There were books I wanted to write—knowledge I’m to pass on to the next generation! I know that you have dreams, too. You’re the youngest headmaster in Miriam College history. Think of all the good you can do! It offends me that you would give up on that. I no longer have a choice, but you still do.”

He thought he was helping, but I honestly never felt more alone. I needed someone to understand. Instead, I was met with anger, because once again, I had failed to meet expectations. It didn’t matter how much work I put in or what I accomplished. It was never good enough.

“I’m not you,” I said. “All those dreams I had—they mean nothing if I can’t share them with her.”

Emmett went silent for a beat. “I see. You need something to fight for. You need to find your joy again.”

I scoffed. “I can’t do that without her. She was my only joy.”

“You can’t bring her back, so there must be something else for you here.”

His words made me stop. I glanced over to the mantle, where I’d set the toy wand I’d found in our hideout that night. I’d brought it back to the house, and it hadn’t moved since. As kids, magic meant limitless possibilities to Nicole and me. Somewhere along the way, limits had been imposed, and I’d forgotten how wide open the world felt as a kid—back when anything was possible.

“Why can’t I bring her back?” I asked slowly.

Emmett adjusted his glasses. “As I said, even witches don’t have power over death.”

“Yes, but there are others who do,” I pressed. “There is magic beyond our own limitations, supernaturals and demigods who have defied death before. Perhaps this is the reason I’m still around.”

“You think you’re destined to find a way to raise your sister from the dead?” Emmett wondered.

“I don’t know if I believe in destiny,” I admitted. “But why wouldn’t I at least try ?”

“What purpose would that serve?”

“Research,” I offered. “You said it yourself; I have dreams of making an impact. What better way to leave my mark on the coven than to expand our knowledge and understanding of just how far we can take our magic?”

The truth was, I didn’t really care about all that. But Professor Carlisle did, and so, I had to speak his language. All I knew was that my soul had been torn across realms, and my sister was beyond my reach. I didn’t know where she had gone, and I feared that even in death, I may not find her. The afterlife was a big place, after all.

But if I could bring her back here, we could be united again, and the empty hole inside of me could heal. Emmett told me to find my joy, and the thought of being reunited with my sister again was the only spark of joy I’d felt in the last three months. If there was anything that gave me direction and made me want to keep on living, it was this. It’d become abundantly clear over the summer that no one was going to save me. Even Emmett was only here as a formality. If no one else was going to help me, I was going to have to save myself.

“You really think you can raise the dead on your own?” Emmett asked skeptically.

It’d be an understatement to say what I was asking for was monumental. As far as I knew, no witch or warlock had ever done it, but that hadn’t ever stopped me before. I couldn’t do it alone—that was for certain—but it didn’t make it impossible.

“No, I can’t. Not by myself,” I admitted. “But perhaps together, we can find a way.”

Emmett shook his head firmly. “Magic of this level could have dire consequences. I won’t participate.”

“Not even if it could advance your research?” I questioned.

He dropped his head hopelessly. “I’m afraid I’m out of time.”

“Not with the proper treatments,” I proposed. “I can brew you the potions, Emmett. It could prolong your life another ten years.”

A spark of intrigue entered his eyes. “I don’t doubt your ability to brew the potion, but the ingredients alone are quite expensive. Surely such an offer doesn’t come out of the goodness of your heart.”

I leaned back in my seat. “The money is not a problem, and I’m in a position as headmistress to gain access to any ingredients I wish. Help me find a spell to raise the dead, and you’ll get your treatments.”