Page 34

CLARICE

I didn’t go to the doctor’s appointment.

Months passed, and eventually, I started to show. I couldn’t hide the pregnancy any longer, and was forced to announce it.

Jonathan and I had only spoken once since the night I left his house—just long enough for me to break his heart. We hadn’t talked after that, until he cornered me outside my office one day.

His gaze traveled down to my belly. I’d been hiding the bump the best I could, but now that he knew the truth, it was obvious. “We need to talk,” he stated firmly.

I shot a glance down the hall. “Step into my office.”

Inside, I took a calm seat behind my desk, though Jonathan remained standing. His fingers curled around the back of the chair opposite me.

“I wish I didn’t have to hear the news from other faculty members,” he said. “You should’ve told me.”

“Why would I?” I asked. “You and I haven’t spoken in months.”

He hesitated. “Because it’s mine… isn’t it?”

“Goddess, no,” I laughed. It was insanely easy for me to lie to him. I half believed it myself.

Jonathan furrowed his brow. “I heard you’re due this summer. The dates add up.”

“As they do with other men,” I replied nonchalantly. I didn’t care what lies I told him, as long as he left me alone.

Jonathan gaped, as if he wasn’t sure he heard me right. I could see the moment he processed it, because he raked his fingers through his hair and collapsed into the chair across from my desk. “You… cheated on me?”

“I wouldn’t say that, as you and I were never officially together ,” I said.

Jonathan’s features appeared calculating. “I suppose we never defined it, and that’s on me for making assumptions. I’ve been wondering for so long where I went wrong, and now, it makes sense. I took things too far that night—it got too real. I was moving too fast. I see now that it was too much for you.”

He stared into my eyes. “I never meant to hurt you. I should’ve known better, and I’m sorry. I want you to know that whatever you decide moving forward, I will be here to support you. Whether we’re together or not, I will always love you, Clarice.”

Poor thing. Jonathan was such a pure, innocent soul that he couldn’t see the monster staring him straight in the face. Outwardly, he appeared to be taking the mature approach, but inwardly, he was merely naive.

Things couldn’t have ended any better. He was kind enough to take on all the blame, and I was more than happy to let him. I preferred he get out of the way regardless, because I knew if I let him back into my life, I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to keep him there.

My child arrived at sundown on a Friday night. It was a boy. He was so tiny.

I gave birth alone in my own home. I lay in bed for seven hours straight, and though my body felt everything, I couldn’t remember a single sensation. He cried, but I’d already forgotten the sound.

I couldn’t remember how Emmett got there. I must’ve called him. I answered the door.

“Where’s the child?” he asked.

“In the bedroom,” I told him. I turned and led him down the hall. The baby was crying. There was blood everywhere.

Emmett wrapped the baby in a blanket and lifted it into his arms. The child continued to cry. “We have everything we need to summon assistance. Where would you like to perform the ceremony?”

“In the tomb,” I told him. “She should see what I’ve done for her.”

I led Emmett outside in my bare feet and nothing but a thin, bloody nightgown.

We entered the room carved out in the rock, and I knelt beside Nicole’s body. “Don’t worry,” I told her. “I’m going to take care of everything. Nothing will stop us from being together again.”

“Here, you must take the child,” Emmett told me.

I gazed down at the baby, and something within me recoiled. “No. I can’t.”

“You must ,” he pressed. “Only you can make the exchange.”

Reluctantly, I took the child in my arms, and for the first time, he settled. The baby gave a contented sigh and curled into me. I was stunned as I stared down at his delicate features. His chest rose and fell, and it hit me that I was holding a living, breathing person. Somewhere inside that tiny little body was a soul… an innocent soul that I was just going to give up.

It shouldn’t have been this easy. I didn’t really care what the demons did to him. That should’ve concerned me, but it was of no consequence if it meant having my sister back.

“It’s time,” Emmett said.

As I’d been studying the baby’s features, Emmett had drawn a sigil on the ground with chalk. They were old, ancient runes that predated the coven and had come from hell itself. The runes would serve to summon the demon, as well as bind him in the spell so he couldn’t cast magic that would hurt us. In the center of the sigil stood a bowl of foul-smelling herbs.

Emmett gestured me forward, and I knelt in the middle of the chalk circle. He held out his hand, and I offered him mine. Emmett conjured a knife, and in one quick motion, he sliced it across my hand. I winced as the blade cut deep. Blood poured out of the wound and into the bowl of herbs. The baby remained quiet.

“Speak the incantation,” Emmett said.

“ In noctis tenebris, cum hac sanguinis oblatione, scelestum daemonem voco ,” I spoke. It was an old, ancient incantation that surely hadn’t been uttered in over a thousand years. In the dark of night, with this offering of blood, I summon the wicked demon.

The herbs within the bowl erupted into flames that touched the ceiling, and a strong gust of wind swirled around the cavern. A blinding red light shone from all angles around us. I shielded my eyes with one hand.

The wind died down, and I opened my eyes to see a ghastly beast standing before us. He was at least nine feet tall and hunched over with his spine against the ceiling. He stood on two legs like a man, but had a skull-like face with empty eye sockets that glowed bright red. His teeth were razor-sharp, and he had no skin—merely bloody muscle covering his entire body. Four sharp, straight horns protruded out of the top of his head.

The sight of such a beast should’ve turned my blood to ice, but I felt a sense of relief in his presence. He was a Scelus demon, one of the most vile and powerful kinds. He was bound by no moral values. I knew he could give me what I wanted.

Emmett was struck with such terror that he screamed and scurried out of the tomb. Pathetic fool. He had no spine.

The demon stared down at me and gave a low growl. He spoke in a deep, ethereal voice. “ You have summoned me to this wretched realm. Speak your intentions. ”

“I wish to trade one soul for another,” I told him, holding out the child. “This child is my kin. I will give him to you, if you can raise my sister from the dead.”

I gestured to Nicole’s body lying on the cot.

The demon followed my gaze, then turned his red eyes back on the baby. He wore a hungry expression, like he would do anything to take this baby’s soul for his own.

“ I cannot do as you ask ,” he said. “ Power over death is not as simple as it may seem. ”

“You must!” I begged. “We have a ritual ready, one that uses a cursed child to raise the dead, but we need your power to pull it off. Please, I will do anything.”

“ I’m familiar with such a ritual, but it requires more than power. You will need perfect timing ,” the demon said. “ Perhaps you would be satisfied with an alternative agreement. ”

“Anything to bring her back,” I urged.

“ I can give you strength, ” he proposed. “ I can make your soul a vessel for power unlike you’ve ever experienced before, and give you the ability to shape magic to your will. If you wield this ability properly, you can amass the powers of a demigod, and under the proper circumstances, achieve that which you desire .”

I glanced between my sister and the baby, and I found myself hesitating. “What will you do with him?”

“ I will take him to a demonic realm and raise him in the ways of a demon. ”

At least the child would know an existence of some sort. The demon would enslave him, but he was better off in this other realm than to be raised by a broken mother. I would only destroy him.

I knew what it was like to live amongst the ruins of a shattered soul, and it was not an existence I wished upon anyone. I could keep the child and give up my sister, or fulfill the promises I made long ago. Either way, there was no turning back.

I had reached the point of no return, and no matter what choice I made now, there was no redemption for my soul. The only choice I had now was to save this child I’d known for mere minutes, or resurrect the woman who had been at my side throughout lifetimes.

There was no decision to make.

“Done!” I agreed. I held the infant out toward the demon. “His soul is yours.”

The demon took the child. The baby began to scream, his piercing wails echoing throughout the chamber.

The demon’s spell was already underway. He lifted a hand, and red magic swirled around me. Heat like fire seared every inch of my body as his powerful magic lifted me into the air. I cried out as the magic permeated deep into my bones, vibrating with a frequency that seemed to tear my body apart at a cellular level, before knitting me back together again.

My body crashed to the ground, and though the pain ebbed away, I could feel power pulsing through me unlike ever before. I would never be the same again.

I expected the demon to be gone by now, but as the world came back into focus, I found that he was still standing above me, holding the baby.

“ What do you call him? ” the demon asked.

I was stunned he would bother to ask. “It doesn’t matter.”

“ If I am to raise this child, he must have a name ,” the demon pressed.

I didn’t give it any thought. “Allyn.”

“ Very well ,” the demon said. “ Our agreement is complete. Use your power well.”

And then he vanished, along with my baby.

Silence permeated the cavern, and with it came the harrowing truth of what I’d just done. I’d made a terrible mistake, one I could never take back.

“Allyn,” I whispered, as if my child could hear me… could come back to me.

It didn’t seem real until I gave him the name. Moments ago, giving up the child seemed inconsequential. He was a completely blank slate, with no memories to speak of and no one to love him. Now he had a name, and with it, a future that was now lost.

If there was anything worse in this world than monsters, I’d just become that.

I stumbled back toward the house. I was so tired, and if my regret didn’t consume me, the power buzzing within my body would. I wondered if I just laid down if it would take me… turn me to dust and bring my pitiful existence to an end once and for all. The demon had made me powerful, and now I wasn’t sure I wanted this power at all. It didn’t matter what I could gain at the cost of what I’d already lost.

Emmett was waiting for me in the woods.

“It is done,” I stated as I continued toward the house.

“Where’s your sister?” Emmett asked.

“Still waiting. This is just one stage of many.”

“W—what do we do?” Emmett stammered.

“Continue our work,” I replied. “The demon gave me power, and I must learn how to use it to achieve our final goal. We have a cursed child awaiting us in Pinewood Manor. When it is time, we will finish the ritual, and I will have the power to get the job done. Clean this mess up. No one can know what happened here tonight.”

“Very well,” Emmett agreed. “But Clarice… what will we tell people?”

I hadn’t thought that far ahead, and my voice came out hollow as I answered. “We tell them he died, because it’s the truth. Allyn isn’t with us anymore. He never was.”

The phone rang after Emmett left, and I picked up. I lay in bed, but I didn’t say a word as I brought the phone to my ear. I could hear the sounds of a running vehicle in the background.

“Hello, Clarice?” Faith’s voice came over the line. “Are you there?”

“I’m here,” I said in a distant tone.

“I called to tell you the deal with the Midnighters went well,” my best friend said. “We were able to sell off enough potion to pay off a significant portion of Nadine’s medical debt. I can’t thank you, nor my mother, enough for your help in arranging these meetings.”

I remained silent, because nothing she said seemed to hold any meaning.

“Clarice?” Faith prodded again. “Did I lose you again?”

“You’re a good mom,” I stated. My voice was so hollow, it didn’t sound like my own.

Faith seemed stunned by my response. “Oh, uh, thank you.”

“It’s not a compliment,” I said without any emotion. “It’s a fact. You put your daughter above all else. You love her. I wonder what it’s like to love a child like that. I named him after my father. In so many ways, I hated that man. I thought it’d make it easier to let him go. It didn’t.”

Panic entered Faith’s tone. “Clarice, what happened?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I do,” she insisted. “That’s what friends are for.”

If I could tell anyone anything, it was Faith, but I’d kept so much from her for so long. She wouldn’t understand.

It didn’t seem to matter anymore. I’d done the unthinkable, and I deserved every ounce of retribution the most evil powers in the universe could rain down upon me.

“I traded my son for my sister,” I admitted, though it barely felt like an admission at all. There was no weight lifted off my shoulders, no feeling of relief. Just remorse that would forever haunt me.

“I’m coming to Octavia Falls,” Faith demanded.

“You can’t come back,” I reminded her. “You’re cursed to never return.”

“Then meet me on the outskirts of town, past the protection spell,” Faith urged. “We need to get you help.”

“Nobody can help me now.” I was already in too deep.

“I’ll go to the priestesses. Surely they can send someone?—”

“No,” I interrupted. “They’re the ones who started this. If they learn what I’ve done, I’ll be hanged.”

“We won’t let that happen.”

Something within me broke, and I spat, “They hung Nicole! What makes you think they won’t hang me, too?”

“So stop what you’re doing,” Faith begged.

She didn’t know the half of it.

“I took a witch’s vow,” I told her.

“Witch’s vows can be broken,” she argued. “Clarice, tell me everything!”

“Why?” I snarled. “So you can turn me in to the priestesses?”

“So I can help you!”

“Nobody can help me, Faith, least of all you. You don’t know what it’s been like without her! You haven’t been here! Nobody knows how I feel. I’m so fucking alone, and she’s out there Goddess knows where, a fractured bit of a soul that’s trying to find its way back home. I can’t do this without her! You have a husband and a daughter, and you know nothing about what it’s like to have no one .”

My voice shuddered as I continued to rant. “I haven’t seen you in years. You only call when you want help for your poor sick child. Forgive me if I can’t find the fucks to give to continue helping you, because nobody has been here to help me. I have to keep going at it alone, because that’s what I’ve done all these years. If I don’t finish what I’ve started, then it’s all for nothing—then I sold my son to a demon for nothing .”

The silence that hung in the air was deafening.

“Clarice…” Faith started, but she was at a complete loss of words. She knew now what a horrible monster I’d become, and it was obvious that moment had changed everything she ever once thought of me. I heard her husband mumble something in the background.

“I keep making one mistake after another,” I said. The damage was already done beyond repair. “I’ve told you too much. I’m sorry, Faith, but you can’t stop me. I need to see this through.”

“Please, Clarice?—!”

Faith’s words were cut short at the sound of screams.

Casting the curse was far too easy with the power that was now pulsing through my veins. It took a mere intention and the wave of my hand, and it was done. I cursed the brakes on their car to fail, and then hung up before they’d finished screaming.

Nobody would stop me, not even my best friend. I’d already sacrificed so much to get to this point, and if she had to go as well, then so be it. There was nothing I could do now that was worse than what I’d already done.

I cast another spell that would silence the couple from beyond, so they couldn’t reveal what they’d learned from me. If anyone tried to bring them back through a séance, it wouldn’t work. No one, Seer or otherwise, would be able to communicate with their spirits. It wasn’t magic just any witch could cast, but the deal I’d made with the demon had made me more powerful than any witch ever before.

Now all I had to do was pick myself up, dust myself off, and finish what I started.

Demons were tricksters, and it became abundantly clear over the following weeks that I’d been sorely misled. The demon hadn’t exactly lied about the power he’d given me, but he hadn’t been clear, either. The power I’d felt that night quickly faded, and I found that I was unable to generate that kind of energy on my own. He had made me a vessel for unmatched magic, but I could merely manipulate it, not generate it as a true demigod could. I had little control of my newfound abilities, and learned quickly that while I could supply myself with power from other witches, stabilizing and directing that magic required skill beyond my comprehension. It was going to take time and practice to master such a gift.

It began with the crystals. It was easy to overpower other witches and steal their magic. Each time I did, I funneled that power into a crystal, where it would remain dormant until I learned to manipulate it properly. I started small. I practiced stealing a bit of magic here and there, and no one noticed. My crystal stores grew more and more abundant. It was obvious I was going to require a large collection of crystals to contain the power I was stealing. I kept my crystal stores hidden away in the tomb with my sister, until the room became so filled with quartz, amethyst, fluorite, and other minerals that it was covered in them. It had transformed from a tomb into a crystal cave. I figured that here, no one would find my collection.

Until somebody did.

I was performing a ritual in the tomb, trying to funnel Death magic from my crystal stores into my sister’s body. Her fingers twitched, and I gave a laugh of delight as I saw the necromancer powers I was manipulating were working. I couldn’t generate Death magic on my own, but I could take it from other witches, place it inside the crystals, and then use it for my own spellwork. The magic responded to my command, and I just needed to find the right spell to get it to work for my purposes. My sister’s body rose from the cot, though her eyes stared ahead lifelessly.

I cried out in glee. Finally, we were getting somewhere.

A stick cracked near the doorway. “Is everything all right?” a gruff voice asked.

I whirled around to find an old man standing there with a cat at his feet. I recognized him from town. Henry Keller—or Old Man Keller, some called him. He was an old, retired man who volunteered at the Historical Society. Sometimes, he appeared for guest lectures at the college. He was a nice man. It was a shame what he’d just stumbled upon, really.

“You shouldn’t be here!” I sneered. “This is private property!”