Page 34 of The Surrender

The pressure of my nonstop racing thoughts makes my head feel like it could explode. I squeeze my eyes closed, and on a sigh weighed down with hopelessness, I pull my hair into a ponytail. I need to talk to him. Have it out. Tell him how I really feel about him and see where that takes us. If he withdraws, my questions are answered. I’m wasting my time.So much for taking it slowly.

I head back into the bedroom.

And jar to a shocked halt on the threshold. “What the hell?” I blurt.

Jude catapults up in bed, startled, his sleepy eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to figure out what’s wrong with me. “Katherine?” He grabs a pillow and pulls it over his groin. His move reminds me that I’m standing here completely naked.

“Is this a joke?” I spot one of Jude’s T-shirts hanging over the back of a chair and quickly get into it.

“What the fuck?” Jude gets off the bed, pillow in place.

“Oh, she’s here,” Katherine says, casual.

My mouth falls open and Jude winces. “Get out, Katherine.”

“I’ll come back when she’s gone.” She turns and struts out, and my mouth falls open a little bit more. I can’t believe this. She’s still here, still sniffing around and spitting her venom.

“Isn’t it about time you told her we were a thing?” she calls over her shoulder.

“What?” I gasp, looking at Jude to tell me she’s talking out of her arse. A thing? What’s athing?

“It’s complicated,” Jude says, cursing and throwing the pillow down on the bed.

“Complicated how?”

He supresses a sigh. Oh,he’sexasperated? “We have a history.” His reluctance is clear. It’s also worrying me, and my withdrawal spells that out.

“A history?”

“We were together.”

I blink.

“Many years ago.” It’s him withdrawing now, backing away, putting space between us.

“She’s your ex?” I ask, my voice high. Jude deflates, his eyes dropping. “Oh my God.”

“I wanted to tell you myself, but, well”—he laughs under his breath—“Katherine fixed that.”

“Oh, like you were going to tell me about the bet?”

His face is a landscape of impassiveness. “Yes.”

“You said there was nothing significant to share when I asked you about your previous relationships.” After I told him about Nick on our firstdate. Nick, who Iwasn’tstill fucking. I can’t believe this.

Tearing his T-shirt off, I go to my dress on the floor by the bed and snatch it up, starting to fight my way into it. Jude tenses as a result, looking like he’s getting ready to stop me from walking out. “You have the audacity to make a fuss over some poxy flowers, and you’re fucking your ex? Who, by the way, is fucking married!”

“It’s fucked up, I know. And Iwasfucking her, Amelia.Was.”

I wrestle with the zip on the back of my dress, struggling with my stupid, lame hand. “Fuck!” Getting involved with a man quick off the heels of a breakup has already made a mockery of my plan. But getting myself caught up in a love triangle would be monumentally foolish. This was old news. Katherine was old news. But she’s just made it very much new news, and somehow now it all feels so much more serious. She’s his ex? Which means hehasloved.

Incensed, and feeling so fucking stupid, especially after my tidal wave of thoughts in the bathroom, I leave my dress hanging open. “You’re just one big bag of surprises, aren’t you?”

Jude huffs a breath of unamused laughter. “You’re the biggest surprise in this situation, Amelia, believe me.” He grabs some boxers and yanks them on. “I’ve told you before, I’m fucked up. Leave. Save yourself.”

Save myself? Too fucking late! “You should have told me. I should have known who she was so I could manage how I deal with the situation.”

He keeps his eyes on me as he pulls his trousers up and his shirt on. “You managed just fine when you were trying to claw her eyes out a few weeks ago.”