Page 26 of The Surrender

“Why?”

“I have more worky stuff to sort.” I smile like an idiot, surely looking as guilty as I am.

“Amelia Gracie Lazenby,” Abbie says, her voice tired. “I have known you for how many years?”

“Twenty-three.” I know exactly where this is heading.

“And how many times in those years have you got away with lying to me?”

I flop back in my swivel chair, scowling. “Never. You’re like a real-life human lie detector.”

“Which is how I know you’re lying now. So why can’t you come to the gym?”

My jaw rolls from how hard I’m clenching my teeth, trying to stop myself from confessing and therefore enduring a lecture. I know it’s coming—I can’t keep this from them—but I can’t face it now. Plus, I don’t have time. “I told you. I have worky things to do.”

“Amelia!”

God damn it.“You know why,” I grate, throwing my arm up heavily and dropping my head back.

“You’re seeing him?”

“It’s complicated.” My injured hand balls and, as a result, hurts like hell. “Fuck,” I curse.

“It’s not complicated. He fucked you over, and you’re going to let him do it all over again?” There’s a rustle, a few beeps, and the next minute Charley’s face appears. “She is,” Abbie says, looking as outraged as she sounds. “She’s seeing him again.”

“Amelia!” Charley cries. “What the hell are you thinking?”

I feel a lump in my throat growing, my brain not helping me out. I have plenty of words, many reasons and justifications. I just can’t find them now as my best friends glare at me, waiting for an explanation to my apparent madness. Apparent? Am I mad?

“I can’t do this right now, girls,” I say, hanging up on them for the first time in our lives. I drop my phone and cover my face with my palm, sucking back the emotion before it makes a fool of me at work. I take a deep breath. And another. And a few more. “Shit,” I whisper, looking up at the ceiling, ignoring my phone ringing on my desk. Ireallycan’t do this right now. I don’t want my best friends to hate Jude. I can’t blame them, but I don’t want them to. Sighing, I swivel my chair and face my screen, scrolling through the emails that need dealing with, happy to take the distraction.

At five, I look away from my screen, squinting. All of my calls are done for the day and my inbox looks a lot prettier, but my mind is still playing back Abbie’s and Charley’s reactions to the news that Jude’s back in my life. I have no idea how I’m going to navigate that situation. Jude’s got wide shoulders, but I have not. My friends’ opinions matter, and I hate they have such a negative perspective. And yet, again, I can hardly blame them.

I look at the flowers on my desk and grimace. And then there’s Nick. Dad told him I’m not seeing anyone now. Is there anyone in my life who will be happy for me? I sweep up the flowers and pace to Shelley’s desk, popping them on the edge. She looks up over the blooms.

“Happy birthday,” I say, smiling.

“For me?”

“For you,” I confirm. “I hope you’ve had a wonderful day.” I hear a commotion going on in Gary’s office. “The hostile takeover at XYZ?” I ask, as various partners pass us, joining Gary.

“No, actually. It’s a bad day.” Shelley twiddles her pen, looking over her shoulder to Gary’s door. I can only imagine the abuse Shelley’s poor ears have endured today. “The Gleneagles and Hollenbeck merger was announced an hour ago, and the shares have absolutely tanked.”

“What?” I stare at Shelley, hoping she corrects herself and tells me there’s another reason for Gary’s nonstop expletives. An hour ago? And I missed it?

“The Gleneagles and Hollenbeck mer—”

“Fuck!” I rush past her and fall into Gary’s office. “What’s happened?” I ask, looking around at the partners, noting they all appear a little pale. I can feel the blood draining from my own face rather fast too. God, no, I have endless recommendation letters drafted advising my clients to authorise me to reinvest their kickout plans into Hollenbeck.Please don’t tell me I’ve missed something critical!

Gary throws his pen down and pulls his glasses off, rubbing his eyes. “The merger. It was announced at four. The board lost confidence, PR fucked up, and an anonymous source has taken to social media and blown the whistle on Hollenbeck’s dire financial situation,andthe fat bonuses the board has taken this past year.”

“Shit,” I curse.

“You saw the reports that started coming in at lunchtime, didn’t you?” Gary asks.

“Yes,” I squeak.

“So you’ve spent the afternoon reworking any proposals involving Hollenbeck, right?”