Page 130 of The Surrender

I don’t want to see him ever again. Problem is, I have to tell him I’m pregnantandfar sooner than I hoped. But I need time to build my defences. Make sure I’m immune to him. Be strong in the face of my weakness. But now that Nick knows, news of my situation will spread like wildfire. I’m going to see Jude tonight. I’ll tell him, make it clear I expect nothing, and leave.

Sounds disgusting.

I reach for the pen and click it a few times, reading the words on the edge. Reading his lie. I drop it in the bin next to my desk, looking up when Gary walks in. I can tell by his face that he doesn’t come bearing good news. He doesn’t sit. “The senior partners have requesteda meeting next Monday,” he says regretfully. “HR will be present, and you can bring a witness of your choice if you wish.”

“Sounds official,” I murmur, making his lips press into a straight line.

“I’m sorry, Amelia. I tried to fight your corner, but they feel there are some unanswered questions.” I wonder where Sue sits on that front. “On the plus side,” he goes on, “you have your meeting with Spector today, right?”

I nod, feeling a little bit more fight leave me. And more hatred for Jude rise. He is literally ruining my life piece by piece. My eyes drop to my stomach, guilt flaring.I don’t mean that,I think, as if it might hear me. I have to pull it together for my meeting. It could be what saves me. “I have a doctor’s appointment after my meeting.” I hold up my hand, and Gary winces. “I think it’s infected.”

“Okay. Let me know how things go with Tilda, and good luck at the doctor’s too.”

I smile with effort and knuckle down, refining my subtle pitch, struggling so hard to concentrate with so many mammoth question marks hanging over my life. Even if I do make the deal with Spector work, the fact of the matter is, I’m pregnant, and as sad as it is, that puts me at a massive disadvantage in the workplace.

When one o’clock hits, I leave the office for my lunch with Tilda, answering my phone on my way to the elevator. “Amelia Lazenby,” I say.

“Miss Lazenby, good afternoon, my name is Harriett Jenkins. I’m personal assistant to Mrs. Spector.”

“Oh, hi.”

“I’m afraid she can’t make your lunch.”

I come to a stop at the elevator, the small piece of optimism I had left draining away. “Oh. Well, that’s no problem, we can rearrange.” I reach for the call button and hit it. Pret it is for lunch, then. The doorsopen, but I hold off stepping inside, afraid I’ll lose my signal. “When would work for Mrs. Spector?”

“I don’t believe there’s cause to rearrange.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

“The lunch was to discuss a possible acquisition of clients, and Mrs. Spector has now moved those clients.”

“She’s already found a new adviser?”

“That’s correct.”

“But ...” I look down the corridor, finding Leighton Steers standing outside his office, casual, his hands in his pockets, his shoulder resting on the wood.

A smirk on his face.

“I see,” I whisper. I can’t believe this. Did he seduce her?I thought she was smart.I laugh on the inside, hysterically. Because I thought I was smart too.

“But Mrs. Spector did want me to pass on her gratitude and wish you all the best for the future.”

“That’s very kind.”

Leighton pushes his shoulder off the doorframe and backs into his office.

“Goodbye.” Hanging up, I stand, motionless, feeling completely lost.

Everything.

In tatters.

Chapter 29

I left the office, but I didn’t go to Pret for lunch. I couldn’t stomach a thing. I wandered the streets of London, losing track of time, walking aimlessly.

Lost.