Page 116 of The Surrender

“Nick gave Jude’s family bad financial advice years ago.”

“Are you kidding me?”

I shake my head, so fucking mortified. “I feel so stupid.”

Abbie ushers me inside and takes me to the couch, sitting me down and filling my hand with a glass of wine. “So you spoke to Nick?”

I take a sip, snivelling. “I was leaving Arlington Hall to go see him, but he showed up there.”

“He came to you,” she says, surprised, lowering next to me. “Where was Jude?”

“Asleep. Nick wouldn’t talk, just kept going round in circles, telling me to give him a chance, that Jude didn’t want me. Then Jude found us, and the shit hit the fan.” I put my wine on the coffee table and burymy head in my hands, another wave of tears falling. “Being a bet seems attractive now. Being used to hurt someone?” I laugh cynically, thinking what a great fucking job Jude did. Not only did he seduce me, but he actually made me love him.

My phone rings, and I move away from it, wary.

“It’s your brother,” she says, frowning. “Isn’t it a bit late for him to be calling you?”

“Not if Nick’s let him know what’s just happened.”

“Oh,” she breathes, putting both hands between her knees as I reach for my mobile, braving answering it.

“What the hell is going on?” Clark blurts, sounding half asleep. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ve just had Nick on the phone talking a load of I don’t know fucking what.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I say, without the energy to go through this again. “I’m at Abbie’s.”

“Not Jude’s?”

“No.”

A short pause. “Why?”

“Because I’m no longer seeing him.” Seeing him? Dating him?

In love with him?

My heart twists.

“And what’s Nick got to do with this? Are you back with him?”

“No. God, no.” I’m seriously off men for life. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I’m fine, I’m at Abbie’s, I’m no longer seeing Jude Harrison, and I’m not back with Nick.” I never want to see either man again.

Clark sighs. “Okay. Right, yes, okay. Get some sleep.” He hangs up first, and I fall into Abbie’s side, staring ahead at the TV. Sleep? I doubt that’ll happen.

“Let me change this for you,” she says, taking my hand and turning it over, revealing blood spots on the bandage.

“It’s not healing.” I give myself a moment to acknowledge the throb.

“It could be infected. You should get it checked.”

Everyone’s told me the same thing. Get it checked. And I haven’t. I’ve been too sidetracked. Too distracted. “I will.” I need to look after myself. My hand will eventually heal. But my heart? “I don’t know if I’ll get over this,” I say quietly, wincing at the flashbacks parading through my mind. All Jude.

Abbie hushes me, hugging me. “I’ve told you before, you are stronger than you think.”

Then why do I feel so utterly broken?