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25

EMBER

C arnage.

That’s my first thought when I let myself into the boarded-up bar four hours later.

Making plans led to sex, which I’d initiated, even though I wanted to get back here.

But now that I’m standing in the wet debris and aftermath of the fire, I feel sick.

The dark paint along one wall that I’d spent hours agonizing over is now blackened with soot. The soft fabric on chairs I paid a fortune to ship from Miami is scorched and ruined.

Shattered glass is everywhere. And as I stand in the center of the dance floor and spin around slowly, I notice every other little detail that will need fixing.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Atom asks quietly.

I swallow deeply and shake my head. “At least the bar is still standing.”

He reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly. “You wanna check out the kitchen?” he asks.

“Not really.” But I let him lead me anyway. We go behind the bar, and when I see the destruction in the kitchen, I bite back the sting of tears.

I run my finger over the dirty surface, then glance up at the destroyed staff notice board hanging at an angle on one nail.

Atom pulls me to him, then cups the side of my face, encouraging me to lean into his pec.

“I’ll fix it,” I say.

“ We’ll fix it, Em. We’re in this together. If you want to get the bar running again, I can help.”

I shake my head. “I’ve worked hard to keep violence away from here.”

Atom tips my chin so I’m looking up at him. “You’re going to have to adjust, sweetheart, because they brought trouble to you. I understand why you don’t want bikers and our cuts in your bar. You want a different kind of clientele. You don’t want to scare anyone off. And you don’t want the bar to become a place for us to wash money. All of that, I accept. But then, there’s you and me. Me, the man who’s been in love with you forever. The man who wants to see you succeed. The man who wants to be there, cheering you on. I have my own money that has nothing to do with the club, Em. And I’m not gonna stand by on the sidelines, watching you struggle when I can step in and help.”

I take a breath. Then another. I have wanted this my whole life. Someone who loves me for who I am. Someone who wants to support me in what I do. “The boundary was clearer before.”

He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’m your man, Em. It’s not in me to sit back and let someone I love struggle.”

Love .

That’s the second time he’s said it. It can’t be an accident.

“You love me?” My heart beats so loudly in my chest, I swear Atom can hear it.

He huffs a laugh. “Are you deliberately trying to make me mad today? Of course I love you. I loved you back then, even when I told you I didn’t. I love you now, in the ruins of your bar, knowing your father and I are going to have to come to terms. I’ll love you forever, if you’ll let me, Em.”

When he kisses me to emphasize the point, everything makes sense. We’re meant to do all this together, because it’s what couples do.

“I love you too, Hudson. Have for as long as I can remember. Even when I was trying to pretend I didn’t. Even when I was trying to convince myself I could be as happy with someone else.”

He wraps his strong arms around my waist and lifts my feet off the ground. “I got so much relief flowing through my veins right now, I feel like I might pass out.”

I place my arms around his neck. “Shouldn’t we be getting you to a chair, so you don’t faint then?”

“Funny.” He presses his lips to mine, the world righting itself when he does.

“Atom, heard you were back from—oh, shit.”

He lowers me to the floor, gently, as Catfish walks into the room. My already-pounding heart steps it up a notch, and I peer around Atom to double-check my father isn’t here too.

Thankfully, the hallway remains empty.

“You better have bleach around here so I can wash my eyes out,” he says. “And some really fucking strong alcohol so I can drink enough to convince myself I didn’t see what I clearly just saw.”

I step away, but Atom takes hold of my hand and squeezes it firmly. While I have no idea what happens now, it’s good to know we’ll be there for each other.

“It’d be easy to insult you and try to come up with some bullshit that would explain away this,” Atom says. “But I’m not going to. You saw what you saw.”

“This is a really bad idea, Atom. The president’s daughter? Really?”

“You assume I have no part in this, Catfish. This isn’t some situation where he took advantage of me or something. I’m a willing participant.”

Catfish winces. “That almost makes it worse. How long has this been going on?”

“Not long,” Atom says.

“Forever,” I say in parallel.

Atom turns to me and smiles. “That sounds about right.”

“Sounds confusing as fuck. Is that what the whole vibe was between the two of you all this time? Did you really hate each other?”

“I love her, brother,” Atom says. “Always have. But for the last five years, I’ve tried to live up to my promise to Butcher. Tried not to lay my hands on my president’s daughter like he asked, but she’s always been my queen.”

“That’s cheesy as fuck, brother, but I’ll give you a pass given Butcher is still going to kill you,” he says. But I see his love and respect for Atom.

Atom nods. “Maybe. But there’s a lot going on right now involving Ember. And I need to be by her side to protect her. I’m not asking you to lie for me. But I am asking you to help me find some breathing room so we can get through this, and then we’ll be able to tell him about the two of us.”

Catfish runs a hand over his freshly shaved jaw as he looks to me. “You cool with this plan?”

I nod. “I tried to convince him five years ago we should do this.”

Atom smiles at me softly. “I was an idiot to turn you down. But in some ways, I wasn’t ready for you. Not back then.”

Catfish sighs. “All this serves me right for being happy to see your bike. I won’t lie for you if asked a direct question. But I’ll throw a smoke screen. The whole ‘hands off’ clause thing always made me itch.” He looks quickly to me. “Not because you weren’t worth protecting, but it seems so controlling.” Then, he looks back at Atom. “And not because I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Jesus, I’m gonna shut up now because I’m making it worse.”

I step forward and place my hand on his arm. “It’s alright, Catfish. We’ll figure this out.”

He looks at me like I have a contagious disease and steps out of my reach. “Don’t like the use of ‘we’ in that sentence. You two have things to sort out. I have things I need to forget and just move on with my life.”

“Did you need something?” Atom asks.

“What? Erm…yeah. But I’m thinking I’m just gonna walk back outside and catch you on the sidewalk.” He begins walking backwards like we’re radioactive and he needs to get out of the blast zone.

“This is an interesting side of you, Catfish,” I tease. “I always thought you were a balls-to-the-wall kinda guy.”

He points to Atom. “He should be more worried than he is about Butcher nailing his balls to the wall.”

Atom bursts out laughing. “Come on, let’s go back into the bar and see if this fire fried all the alcohol. You coming?”

I shake my head. “I’m just going to do a little inventory of what new equipment I’m gonna need.”

Atom walks up the stairs with Catfish, and I hear another run of expletives. My heart eases a little. Out of all the men who could have found us, Catfish is probably the least risky. Had it been some new prospect, chomping at the bit to join the club, he could have quite possibly gone running to my father to tell him.

But I trust Catfish. For all his flaws, loyalty is one of his greatest assets.

I begin looking through the wet slime and dirt and blackened walls. It looks like the industrial walk-in freezer will be just fine. But a lot of the tubing on the gas stove tops was burned. I glance at the master switch for the gas and see it’s been switched into the Off position.

I’m grateful that someone from the fire department thought to do that, while simultaneously grateful to Atom for saving me. This was all a gas explosion waiting to happen had the fire burned for much longer.

Maybe that’s what they wanted…for it to look like a gas explosion, but it never got that far because of Atom’s actions.

As I look around, I wonder what I can do to help my father understand I’m a grown woman, with grown desires, who completely owns who she does and doesn’t fall in love with.

I shouldn’t be sneaking around and lying about the man I love.

Perhaps I can find the approach to explain that to him, ahead of the conversation with Atom.

Maybe there is something that would…

The land.

The land the clubhouse sits on.

I know how much my father wants it for the long-term security of the club.

My chest tightens when I think about what I’m actually suggesting. Atom could do a trade or deal. Maybe laced with a threat.

Perhaps an offer to give Dad the land in order to keep Atom a member of the club. I don’t see this as buying me because I think, no matter what, Atom and I stay together. But maybe it’s a reverse dowry, of sorts.

And perhaps the opposite is true if my father refuses. If he says no, perhaps Atom asks his grandfather to take the land back from the Outlaws.

It’s mutiny.

And I have no idea how Atom will react when I tell him Dad is looking for a way to own the land.

But it might just work.

Until I see the bald man who came that night, peering in through the rear kitchen window.