Page 24

23

EMBER

“ Y ou give good dirty talk?” I ask.

Atom nods. “Been known to. But that’s not what today calls for.”

I swear I never saw a more handsome man. He’s less model features and more the perfect example of a hardworking rancher. Wide shoulders, narrow waist, and a gait that just exudes confidence. “It’s not?”

He throws the blanket down next to us. Atom shakes his head. “Nope. Making love in a meadow feels like something that should be a little more sacred than me verbalizing all the ways I want to desecrate this perfect body of yours. I feel like this marks the start of our perfect date. Don’t have any cheese, though. Will fix that for next time.”

“Smooth talker.”

“Is it going to get me into your pussy?” he asks with a grin.

“Most definitely.”

We wriggle our way onto the picnic blanket. I didn’t mind the grass. I’ve fallen asleep on the ground next to many a campfire. But it’s nice to have the softness under my skin.

Atom lies on his back. “Want you to ride me, Em. Come here.”

I don’t even consider rebelling. I climb aboard like my life depends on it.

Because in some ways it does.

Beneath all the words and sexual tension and affection, I’m still holding on to the idea that he’s going to change his mind. That he’ll tell me he can’t do this. That he can’t risk his position with the club. Or that it’s too complicated with the club on his land.

So maybe it’s that thought, or maybe it’s the post-orgasm crash, or maybe I’m suddenly overwhelmed, but when I begin to lower myself over the erect cock he holds in place, tears sting my eyes.

It takes several attempts to accept all of him. The feeling of fullness almost too much.

By the time I’ve seated myself, the first drip lands on his chest.

Atom looks up at the tree, at first, as if looking for rain, but then he realizes it’s me.

“Hey, Ember, stop.”

He tries to lift me off him, but I refuse. Gripping him with my knees and throwing my arms around his neck.

Atom wraps his arms around me and holds me so tight, I swear bones could snap. “Baby, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

I shake my head. Not because I don’t want to tell him, but because I don’t know how to answer. And all I know is if I start to try and explain it, the tears will definitely fall.

“Babe, please.” His hand slips around the back of my neck and grips me firmly. “You’re scaring me. Tears and my cock shouldn’t be synonymous with one another.”

“I know you have me,” I manage to say, hoping he can read all the words in between.

I don’t know why, but I need to cry, and I want him to be the one to hold me while I ride this out.

I know I need to tell him, so I force myself to sit up. It should feel awkward, having a meltdown while riding Atom’s cock, something I’ve wanted all this time. But it doesn’t. Atom reaches for me and uses his thumb to brush the tears from beneath my eyes.

Concern is etched in every feature of his face. Narrowed eyes, wrinkles on his forehead, a bitten lip.

“I nearly died in a fire, Hudson. And I don’t want to live the rest of my life thinking you’re going to leave me.”

His shoulders relax. “Love, I fucked up all those years ago. I wasn’t enough of a man to fight for what I wanted. I wasn’t enough of a man to take accountability for my actions. In some ways, I probably wasn’t enough of a man for you. But this, you and me, especially here, now—not sure anything else I do in life will mean more than this. I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. I promise.”

He brushes the hair that has fallen forward off my face and studies me carefully. He must see my lack of certainty.

“Seeing that smoke,” he continues, shaking his head as if trying to clear the memory. “Fuck. It was a wakeup call. I didn’t care who knew or what would happen or whether I would still be an Outlaw. All that mattered was making sure you were safe. Shook me, too, when I saw all those flames licking the walls and the smoke making it so hard for me to breathe.”

His words ease the frayed parts of me. “That must have been frightening for you.”

He sits up and wraps his arms tightly around me. We’re as close as any two people can be. “I was terrified I was too late. Was almost sick at the thought I was going to open your bedroom door and find you were already dead.”

“I’m so sorry,” I say.

Atom shakes his head. “Not your fault. And not saying it for sympathy. But you need to know there was nothing on earth, in heaven, or in hell that could have stopped me from getting to you.”

I kiss his shoulder. “I needed to hear that.”

“I think I’m starting to understand you a little better, sweetheart. Beneath all that outer confidence, the bar owner, the strong woman, you’re uncertain. Unsure. Low on true confidence. Gonna make it my job to help you find it. I’m gonna be your strength so you don’t have to have all the answers. You’re gonna feel so secure in us, that you won’t ever have to worry yourself about this again.”

I run my fingertips over his biceps as I let the surety of his words comfort me. I nudge him back down to the picnic blanket, then lowering my head, I kiss him deeply. Our tongues meet; our breaths match.

Atom pulls me tight against his body. His cock withdraws slowly then slides back inside me. I feel almost suffocated in his grasp, but it’s comforting, like a weighted blanket, or pressure on my chest when I’m anxious.

He bends his knees and tilts his hips to increase the speed.

“I’ve got you, Em,” he mutters against my lips, sweeping my hair back from my face.

The stroke hits the most perfectly filling angle. His hand is strong over my lower back, and it feels as though I’m grinding on him, even as he moves. My already-orgasmed body comes alive.

He doesn’t change anything but the stroke speed.

I drop my head to his shoulder, close my eyes, and concentrate on the place we’re joined. It’s like he knows my body already. The pressure from the hold, the way his cock strokes my insides, the way the position stimulates my clit…

“Hudson,” I gasp.

“Yeah, I’m feeling you too, sweetheart. Can feel that quivering cunt of yours squeezing me tight. Can feel the way your body is getting excited at the idea of coming over my cock as you start to lose the edge of control.”

My pussy clenches at the words, every part of my head and my heart turned on. I’ve never been closer to another human being in my life.

Sweat forms between us, the sun heating my back.

I don’t want any of it to end. “I want it to always feel this way.”

I didn’t mean for the words to come out.

Atom lets go of me and shifts us so I’m slightly above him, his palms cupping my cheeks firmly. His eyes pierce mine, making me unable to look away.

Everything I see in them tells me he wants this as much as I do. If not more.

“Your cunt’s perfect for me, Em. Love the way you’re squeezing the life out of my cock. Love the fact your sweat’s mixed with mine on my chest. Love that we’re fucking outside. I want this, every fucking day.”

The whole time, he’s looking at me so intently, I feel like I can’t escape. He moves his hands so they’re gently holding my neck. His thumbs rub my throat in time to his thrusts.

I wonder what would happen if he squeezed. How much would he have to tighten his hands for me to faint?

As if reading my mind, he tightens them slightly. Not enough to choke me, but I’m desperately aware of how strong he is, how I have no defenses against him.

“So hungry for my cock, aren’t you Em?”

I nod, unable to speak. Everything is coalescing around the point we’re joined. I can feel it building, and I want to come so badly.

“Please, Hudson. Take it,” I say as my orgasm hovers just out of reach.

“Yeah. I’m taking it, sweetheart. It’s mine. Give it up to me.”

He presses his lips to mine but doesn’t kiss me. He breathes in when I exhale, and I take his breath in when I do the same.

It’s hugely intimate, a vastly different energy to my orgasm when it comes.

I can’t move for the hands around my neck, but my knees shake. Every part of my body ignites as though electricity is passing through it.

“Ah, Em,” Atom grunts, and his strokes change. They lose the steady beat they maintained. Now, it’s fast thrusts followed by a thrust so deep, I swear I can feel his cock right into my middle.

He barks out three breaths, then collapses into the ground. I feel his cock throb as he stays deep within me, barely moving more than an inch in and out. I fall down on top of him as he rides out his own orgasm. The pulse at the side of his neck beats rapidly as he throws his head back and groans my name.

I struggle to calm my breath.

I should move.

My knees are likely ruined.

But I’ll carry that mark with pride for the days that follow.

His chest rises and falls quickly as he catches his breath. His heartbeat races beneath my ear.

And I wholly believe that this was the most miraculous moment of my life. It was everything I imagined being with Atom would be, and more.

His hands draw circles on my back.

And when the energy of what we’ve just done finally leaves, I slowly climb off him and fall down at his side.

“I need a nap,” I say, closing my eyes.

“Not without a dip in the river and sunscreen,” he says. I can hear the laughter in his tone.

“Spoilsport.”

“Stay there,” he says, pressing a kiss to the back of my shoulder.

I turn my head and open one eye so I can see him. “You say that a lot.”

“Maybe I like when you do what I say. But I mean it. Stay there.”

“Fine.” My eyelids become heavy, and I close them again. I know I’m avoiding the obvious. The bar. The fire. Reality needs to creep back in. Before I came out, I checked in on responses to the message I had sent the staff, telling them what had happened, how they weren’t expected in this week, and that I would continue paying their salaries for the foreseeable future.

There was shock and concern and gratitude that I wouldn’t just leave them without salary. I can carry that, for a week or two at least, until I know more.

When Atom returns, he has two towels, some bathing supplies, and my sneakers. He is naked, apart from a pair of slides.

“You were serious?” I ask.

Atom grins. “As a heart attack. Let’s go, sweetheart.”

I slip my sneakers on. “I feel ridiculous wearing these and nothing else. What if someone comes through here?”

He offers me his hand to help me to my feet when I’m done. “No one is coming through here. It’s so central in the ranch that they’d have to make a conscious decision to ride hours through our lands. Not gonna happen. Let’s go.”

“Naked?”

Atom winks.

“At least give me the towel.”

He starts walking, tugging me with him. “When I’m here, I’ll often walk down to the river buck naked. Sun on the balls is good for a man.”

I laugh at that. “There is no way that’s true.”

He shrugs. “Some think it helps with testosterone.”

I look up at him. “Not sure you need help in that department.”

Atom laughs. “Maybe that’s because I sun the boys occasionally. Plus, I like being able to look down at your ass.”

We meander to the river, and I find comfort being out in the sun, nude. “I’m not wearing sunscreen, so I can’t be out here too long.”

“Understood, ma’am. Just enough to freshen up.”

I fix my hair elastic as I walk, from a ponytail to a bun. There is no way I’m attempting to wash it in what I know is a very shallow river.

When I slip off my sneakers, the river rocks are hot beneath my feet. But a first step into the water tells me it’s still a lot cooler.

“Here,” Atom says, after he’s placed the towels on a large boulder and stripped off his shoes. He takes my hand and leads me to three large flat stones that sit in the flow of the river.

“Ahh,” I gasp as I sit, the water cold against my heated skin.

The water was halfway up my thighs as I walked in it, but seated on the stones, it just covers my breasts.

Atom sits down next to me with a charmingly old-fashioned soap-on-a-rope around his wrist. It bobs and tugs in the direction of the flow as he sits.

The view is spectacular. Yellow-headed crops flourish in fields in the distance. I’m no farmer, so I have no idea if they are canola, sweet-clover, or one of the many wildflowers we get, like Golden Banner. The mountains look craggy, and the edge of Atom’s property is marked by an old wooden fence.

“This might be the best bathtub view I ever had,” I say.

Atom puts his hands on the rocks and leans back. “Yeah. It’s pretty spectacular, isn’t it? I sit out here every day I can. Even challenge myself to do it well into fall and even winter.”

“It’s like a less pretentious ice-bath challenge.”

Atom laughs. “Yeah. Zero investment. Energy efficient because it’s always cool due to the runoff from the mountains.”

We sit in silence for a good long minute. The flow of the water pummels my back like a massage, and I feel myself growing sleepy.

“It’s never felt this perfect before, though,” Atom says.

“Yeah?”

He smiles softly as if I didn’t get some joke. “Yeah.”