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10

EMBER

T he sound of the shower makes me itch, even though I’m the one who insisted if Atom wanted to stay here, he needed to get in there. It’s thirty minutes since Dad left, telling Atom to stay, and leaving me with mixed feelings.

Irritation is the first emotion. It irritates me how much better I feel in my own skin knowing Atom is here. Correction—knowing someone is here. I hadn’t realized how many times I’d checked the lock on the external door since Rocco left this morning. But now I can take a breath.

Frustration is the second emotion. I don’t want to be beholden to my father or the Iron Outlaws MC. But I also know that trying to do this on my own would be like taking a fly swatter to a gunfight. I carry a gun. I have several beyond the one the men stole. Am happy to fire one. But one woman against two armed gangsters says my odds are low. Organized crime is called that for a reason. There is a huge organization behind them, whether it’s the brotherhood of the motorcycle club or the families of the Mafia and Bratva. There are lots of them, and only one of me.

The third is exhaustion. If I’m honest, I barely slept last night.

And finally, the uneasy tightening at my core is the one that worries me most. Atom is currently naked in my bathroom. Worse, he’s wet, likely soaping himself up. Running his hands over his body.

And I find my hand hovering over the door handle, just so I can see if he lives up to my every fantasy, even though it would be a massive invasion of privacy.

I’m certain he’s well hung. I’ve seen the outline in his jeans from time to time. Even thought I felt it pressed against me a time or two when we were younger. Another reason why I believe he has always seen me, even when he pretended he didn’t.

For a moment—okay, two or three—I wonder what it would look like if he took his erect cock in his hand and slowly palmed up and down it, lather and bubbles easing the way.

Would he lean back against the shower wall while he tugged on his balls?

And what would it be like to feel brave enough, welcome enough, to kneel down in front of him while he fed me the tip? How far would I let him thrust into me before I choked and coughed and spluttered, tear tracks running down my face?

I’ve day-dreamed a million times what it would feel like to look up at him and see him watching me in wonder.

I shake my head. “Get a grip, Em,” I mutter, stepping away from the door. There is no way I can go the whole evening, just the two of us, sitting here in silence. I’m going to lose my mind. Heck, I may have already lost it.

I got a list of rules as long as my arm from Dad.

Don’t go down to the bar.

Close the curtains so no one can see in the back.

Triple lock everything.

Listen to Atom .

That last one hurt. I don’t want to listen to the man who can’t decide what he wants. I flop down on the sofa and punch the pillow next to me. It’s a small thing but makes me feel so much better.

Every part of me wants to rebel, like a horse that doesn’t want to take the bit. I don’t want to be ridden.

Freud would likely have something to say about my analogies, given being ridden by the man I’m angry at would likely be the stuff dreams are made of.

I wasn’t supposed to work tonight. We open a little later, close a little earlier. But I also don’t like the idea that my staff members are working in possible danger, and I’m not. When I gave my statement to Sheriff Radcliffe, he told me he’ll keep a patrol car close by, but I don’t think it’s enough.

Which, I guess, means I need the protection my father is offering for peace of mind, though I also want to shove it so far up his ass, he won’t be able to shit for a week.

Then, I have an idea.

I hustle down to the bar while Atom showers and pick up the phone, seeing as I can’t find my cell phone.

“Quinn,” I say when she answers. Hers is the only number I can remember. “I need your help.”

There’s the usual clatter of the bakery in the background. “I’m up to my elbows in icing right now, but what do you need?”

“Any chance you guys can move book club to my place tonight?”

“Are you okay? Is this about what happened last night? Those men?”

Shit. I should have started with that. “Did they come to you too?”

“Yeah. Broke a window in the back to get in after everyone had gone home.”

At least I was with Rocco and wasn’t alone when they visited me. “Oh my God. Are you okay?”

There’s a pause. “I’ve had better days. It was terrifying. You?”

“Same.”

I hear Quinn take a deep breath. “Is that why you want us to come over. We don’t have to do book club. We can just all hang out and?—”

“No. Please. Do book club.”

“What?” Quinn asks. “Why? You don’t even like book club.”

“Yeah. Well. Tonight, I do. I lost my phone. I’ll explain later. Just…please…have your book club at my place tonight. I’ll provide good wine. You bring baked goods, and I’ll love you forever.”

“Fine. But this is weird.”

I huff. “Tell me about it. What’s the book you’re reading?”

“You’re gonna speed read it?”

“Enough of it so that it looks like I read the whole thing.”

“Fine. It’s Fury by Laurann Dohner. You’re gonna hate it.”

“Why’s that?” I ask.

She chuckles at that. “Because I love it.”

“Urgh. If it’s some weird vampire-romance thing?—”

“Rule one-oh-one of book club is that we don’t yuck other people’s yum. But no, it’s not vampires.”

“Phew. I’ll see you later then.”

“For sure. Have fun reading about men bred with animal DNA to become warrior super-soldiers.” And with that, she hangs up on me.

Men bred with animal DNA to become warrior super-soldiers.

What the hell.

I put the phone down, grab two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc from the cooler, and run back upstairs to the apartment. As I step inside, I hear the water switch off.

I shove the bottles in the fridge before the bathroom door opens. It annoys me that he didn’t even lock it.

Was he hoping that I would…?

Was I being predictable even thinking about it, earlier?

The steam comes first, and Atom swiftly follows. There is a dark gray towel hung low on his hips that does little to hide the outline of his cock, which hangs long and to the left.

Life is shockingly unfair.

His bicep flexes as he runs a second towel over his hair. His body is a delicious combination of tanned skin and detailed ink and chest hair, which I secretly love—I’m so over the perfectly smooth chest that many women favor.

Then I think of Quinn’s words. We don’t yuck other people’s yum.

I’m gonna have to remember that.

I’ve seen those deep V-muscles that disappear beneath the towel and the rack of abs that have to be seen to be believed before. Atom has no issues taking off his shirt at club cook outs.

Lord knows, I’ve seen plenty of club girls fall over themselves to get a closer look at him with their tongue instead of their eyes.

Bitches.

God, and now I’m being catty. They’re not that bad, all things considered.

But it all makes me just a touch insecure that they hold more value to him than I do.

Water droplets sit on his collarbone and shoulder. “Left my clothes in my room,” he says.

“I noticed. And it’s my room.” I circle my finger around in the air. “All this is mine.”

“Em, we need to talk.”

I place my hands on my hips. “No, we really don’t.”

He shakes his head. “Are you going to be like this the whole time?”

“Worse…likely. Book club is happening here tonight. Raven, Quinn, and the others. Loud and raucous discussion about the super-steamy book we’re reading. Probably highly embarrassing for you to be here.”

“Tell Raven to bring Wraith. The two of us can keep watch from the balcony.” With that, he disappears into the bedroom.

And I hate to admit I miss him. I’m angry…frustrated…annoyed.

Some men hurt me and want money from me. I can’t fight them off alone. My dad asked someone to stay with me for protection.

Would I feel this out of place if it were Catfish or Grudge forced to stay here?

The answer is a resounding no.

It’s Atom.

The giant currently getting dressed in my guest room.

“Tell me again why we’re suddenly doing book club here,” Raven says four hours later, glancing over to the outdoor balcony where Atom is in discussion with Wraith.

Wraith isn’t staying. He’s going to set up the lookout at Raven’s old place above the hardware store. He just dropped Raven off here and will make sure she gets home safely.

“It seemed like a good idea when I came up with it, earlier. I couldn’t face the idea of sitting here looking at Atom all night.”

Raven grips my wrist. “Oh my God.”

“What?”

She looks out to the balcony again, and we both catch Atom looking at me. “Sweet baby Jesus. You and Atom.”

“No. No! I went on a date with someone just last night, before all the shit went down.” Raven knows about the Russians because she works at the diner and Wraith wants her to be safe.

“Methinks thou doth protest too much.”

“It’s nothing,” I say, grabbing glasses from the cupboard.

“Ember. You can talk to me. I know what it’s like to feel railroaded by a man’s world.”

“Once upon a time, I offered Atom my heart, and he turned it down because he’s a coward.”

Raven’s mouth opens, then closes. It takes a minute before she speaks. “Oh my God! He’s the biker you loved who didn’t love you back. The one you told me about the first day we met. Men are idiots.”

I place the glasses on the counter and pour us each a large measure of Sauvignon Blanc. “Amen, sister.”

Raven sips on her wine and looks out the window. “Now that I’ve seen it, I can’t unsee it. He looks at you the way I sometimes catch Wraith looking at me.”

“Can I trust you? As a friend? Not as Wraith’s old lady, but as Raven.”

She places a hand on my shoulder. “Of course. I swear on Fen’s life that whatever you share with me, I won’t share with Wraith. Lord knows he keeps enough ‘club business’ secrets from me.”

It’s enough of a promise. “I’ve been in love with him half my life. And I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about me. It’s just that my father doesn’t want me to be married to a biker. So, he instituted this huge hands-off clause that Atom thinks he needs to adhere to.”

“Oh. Oh! And he’s staying here tonight.”

“Yup.”

She nods as if everything suddenly makes sense. “And that’s why we’re here. I’m officially a cockblocker and feel very proud of that status.”

I can’t help but laugh. It eases the tension I’ve felt since he arrived. “You are, indeed, a cockblocker. He kissed me. Before he left for Sturgis.”

Raven grips my arm. “So, your feelings are reciprocated? He just can’t act on whatever feelings he has for you?”

“I don’t know what he has for me. He didn’t seem very happy when he was looking at the video from last night.”

“Of course he wasn’t.” Raven places her glass on the breakfast bar. “I wouldn’t want to see you get assaulted either.”

“It wasn’t that. It was Rocco. Atom was mad before he even saw the Russians.”

Raven grins. “So, tell me more about your date. Tell me about Rocco. How did it go?”

The men choose that moment to head back into the apartment, but I answer the question. “The basics are he’s tall, dark hair, gorgeous eyes. Built more like a swimmer than a bodybuilder. Works for his father’s property development company. And most important, he took the initiative. Asked me for my number and when I gave it to him, he messaged me. He organized the date, picked me up, and brought me home. And was willing to step into the line of fire for me.”

Raven buries her grin by taking a sip of wine. She knows I’m deliberately speaking loud enough for Atom to hear.

“Didn’t stop you from getting hurt, though, did he?” Atom says.

“Better than leaving her to deal with it on her own, though.” Wraith looks to Raven. “I gotta go, Blue. Be about eleven before I’m free to take you home.”

“That’s fine,” she says. “The sitter said she’d stay until twelve if we needed her to. Ember and I have a lot to talk about.”

Wraith pulls Raven to him and kisses her in a way that should likely be reserved for their private bedroom activities. And I find my heart burns at just how much this man loves his fiancée and doesn’t care who knows it.

I want a piece of that for myself. Not with Wraith, obviously, but…

I look at Atom and find he’s watching me, not them.