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ATOM

E mber doesn’t say too much as we try to pack some of her things. The uncertainty shook her, and she can’t seem to keep a lid on how much she’s packing.

“Em,” I say. “We’re going on horseback. We can’t take all this stuff.”

I want to comfort her.

No, I ache to comfort her.

Wish I could take her back into my arms and reassure her everything is going to be okay. Even if I have to find a way to pay for this whole place to be demolished and rebuilt, brick by fucking brick.

Instead, I have to settle for the slightest brush of fingers as we pass each other, working hard to keep it out of sight of Wraith, who is passing shit to Catfish, who is throwing it to Butcher.

“I know. But I can send some of it to Dad’s, so if I need it, I won’t have as far to go, before I end up locked out of here because of safety issues.”

There’s a crack in her voice as she thinks about not getting back here, and it breaks my heart. I slip farther into the room, lead her to a spot where Wraith can’t see us, and hug her quickly. “It’s gonna be okay, honey,” I whisper. “Keep it together until it’s just the two of us.”

She looks up at me and nods. “I’m doing my best.”

“That’s all we can ask.”

I leave the room for a minute while she dresses in something a little warmer and softer. It’s a hot night, but this has shaken her down to the bones. Adrenaline is funny like that.

“You wanna tell me what you were doing here riding by at three thirty in the morning?” Wraith asks.

I shake my head like he just asked the most ridiculous question on earth. “Couldn’t sleep, feeling frustrated about how tonight went. Trying to think through how, as enforcer, I should have been better prepared to get information out of that fuck before he died. Feeling like I let my brothers down. So, I rode. Nothing more to it than that.”

Wraith folds his arms and looks over his shoulder. Catfish is outside, talking to Butcher, and there is only the three of us in the house. “You sure? Because while Butcher was too distracted by the fact his daughter had been in a fire, I noticed the way she was sitting across your lap with her head pressed up against your chest.”

I think on my feet. “You’re overthinking it. I carried her out, Wraith. She was unconscious. I wasn’t sure she was even breathing. When she woke up, the building was already in flames, and she was shaking so hard, her teeth were rattling. Did the only thing I could think of in the moment and that was hold her. Offered her some comfort as she cried her heart out and told her she was safe. Stop reading shit into things.”

Wraith squeezes my shoulder. “As long as you’re sure, brother. Because it’s a long way across that fucking ranch of yours. Some distance from Butcher and a little forced proximity with a pretty woman…”

“Just stop. You sound creepy.”

Wraith chuckles. “Just making sure your head is screwed on straight.”

“Yeah, well…you need to stop reading those books Raven loves. It’s giving you ideas you shouldn’t be having.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Says the guy I saw get down on one knee in front of Ember to gently put her sneakers on her feet, like she isn’t a fully functioning adult human being who can do it herself.”

“Jesus. Was just being kind.”

The door to the bedroom opens, and Ember steps out. “I’m ready.”

The pause between Wraith and me lasts a few seconds longer than it should. “Fine. Then let’s go.”

It’s hard to resist taking her hand, but I let her walk ahead of me. I’ve got her back. Always have, if I’m honest.

The logistics and repacking of her backpack with her gadgets, chargers, toiletries, and a few changes of clothes takes another five minutes, by which time Radcliffe has formed a perimeter with his men around the building. He insists it’s to help ensure the safety of the fire crew while they do their job.

I know he’s just being a pimple-headed cunt-face.

Ember loads the backpack onto her back, then wraps her hands tightly around my waist. She’s wearing my helmet; Butcher insisted before I had time to offer it to her myself as I planned to.

Maybe it was better that way. Less about me protecting her, and more about her concerned father wanting to make sure she was taken care of. That way, I could act like it was a chore rather than a small thrill that, in spite of tonight’s events, I get to take Ember to my special place on the back of my bike.

“Take care of my girl,” Butcher says.

The use of my girl throws me for a minute. Even though he’s her father, I don’t like the idea of her being anyone else’s girl but mine.

I force back my immediate response and shake his hand. “I got her. And where I’m going, I have supplies.”

I hope he can read into that what I mean. I built the bolt hole just for me, to escape anything anytime I have to. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t equipped.

“Ride safe,” he says.

When I rev the bike engine with Ember on the back, I feel a warmth trickle through me. It’s not just the fact that Ember has her arms wrapped around me, her chest firm against my back.

I glance over my shoulder. “You ready, Em?” I ask.

“Like old times, right?” she says.

“Yeah, just like old times.”

It’s a big deal to let any woman ride on the back of your bike. But it’s a huge fucking deal to have the right one sitting there. It’s a rite of passage.

Once upon a time, it was fun to take Ember Deeks out on my bike; she’d laugh gleefully if I went too fast, and her tits would press up against my back.

But tonight, it feels…different.

I place my hand over hers, gripping on tight to reassure that I’m here for her. And while I have no idea what the future holds for Ember and me, if it’s everything I want and wish for, I need to remember this as the first time she rode my bike with me when it mattered.

When she rode with me for the first time as my old lady, even though I haven’t asked her yet.

I try to shut out the noise. The club. The fire. The fear I felt when I realized Whiskey Fever was on fire, and the devastation I felt when I first saw Ember lying there.

When I thought she was dead.

Instead, I embrace everything that is good about this moment.

For all it’s a hot evening, it’s still cool when the wind rushes over you when you’re on the bike, and Ember buries herself against my back.

I allow myself the luxury of running a hand down her calf, then squeezing her limb and contemplating just how happy the two of us are gonna be if we can just make it through this.

We take the turns together, Ember leaning intuitively as I corner. She’s been on the back of her father’s bike a thousand times, so she knows what she’s doing.

When we reach the stable, I pull up outside and kill the engine. “I have stuff where I’m taking you, so we can head straight out.”

Ember climbs off and waits for me to join her. “Thank you. For doing this.”

I touch her cheek briefly. My father can see this place from his. Not easily, but it’s not impossible. It’s unlikely he’s awake, either, given the hour. But there’s always a chance. “Let’s tack the horses.”

With my hand on her lower back, we head into the stables and rouse Lemmy and Butterscotch.

“It’s a long time since we rode together,” she says, grabbing her saddle.

“Bikes or horses.”

She smiles softly as I say that. “It sucks it took my bar burning down to make it happen.”

“It does. But where I’m taking you? It’s the start of our future. There’s a piece of land in the middle of the ranch. Hard to get to. Harder to make work because it’s totally off grid. But I made a deal with my grandpa and bought it off him. Not that it’s a big plot of land, but it’s mine.”

“Then show me.”

I touch the dark circles under her eyes. “You sure it’s not too much? It’s the middle of the night. You should be sleeping still. We could catch a few hours’ nap at my ranch house, then shower and get on our way if it would make you more comfortable.”

She shakes her head. “I’m riding adrenaline or cortisol or something. If I put my head down now, I might sleep for days.”

“It’s a solid hour’s ride in the dark. The sun’ll be coming up close to when we get there.”

Ember smiles. “I used to think about taking wild rides and camping beneath the stars with you, Atom. The fact it’s happening right now is enough. And there’s no way I could sleep through it. No matter how tired I was.”

I brush my lips over hers. “Love the way you say sweet things to me, Em. But I also happen to really love your face, and if you slide off that horse because of your daydreams, I’m gonna tan your hide.”

Em grins. “You got any cola?”

I tip my head in the direction of the old fridge we keep at the back of the stable. “Help yourself. Take a couple with you, if you like. I have dried stuff, like rice and beans, at the house. We can fish. And I bet the fruit and vegetables I grew have gone wild.”

Lemmy is excited that we’re heading out and rouses immediately. Butterscotch is a classic workhorse and is a little less excited.

When they are loaded, I lift Ember into the saddle.

“I could do that myself,” she says.

“I know. But then I wouldn’t get to touch your ass.”

She smiles down at me, and I don’t care that it’s the middle of the night. It charges me like nothing else could. She’s mine to care for, even if it’s only for the next couple of days.

Normally, I’d be furious at being left behind while my brothers figure out what the fuck happened to her bar.

But right now, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

I take the trail I know by heart. We hug the paddock, then go out by the upper pastures. The silence is utter perfection beyond the whisper of the breeze through the taller grasses. I glance back at Ember, who is looking around as she rides. We’re both wearing headlamps to illuminate the way, and we make better progress than I expected.

It doesn’t take long until I lead the woman I’ve always been in love with to the hidden home I built with her in mind.