Page 5 of The Now in Forever

SUMMER SOLSTICE

N athan goes straight to Robin and puts an arm around her waist and turns his attention on me. “Hey, you made it. How was the drive?”

“Long, but parts were beautiful.”

“I’ve always wanted to drive cross country,”?Ed says with a sparkle in his eye.

My lips turn up. Ed has this energy that makes everything…fun—or he did ten years ago, anyway. My drive was long and boring, but seeing it through his eyes, it was also kind of cool or could’ve been.

I sigh. “I was so focused on making it here today. If I were to do it again, I’d make more stops.”

“Yeah, got to take in the sights. Like there was probably the world’s largest tea kettle somewhere along your way.”

I laugh. “And I missed it trying to make good time.”

Our gazes meet, and the hairs on my arms stand at attention.

“I’m Ed.”

“We’ve met.” That’s not what I meant to say. I blame the long drive, the lack of coffee, the shock of seeing Ed after all these years. If he didn’t remember me at the book signing three years ago, what makes me think he would remember me now ?

Ed smiles, that quirky, irresistible lopsided smile that makes him look up to no good. “We have, haven’t we?”

The tingles are back, like the pins and needles from my drive, but this is full body. We have. We have?

A cute little wrinkle appears on Robin’s forehead as she asks, “Really?”

I toggle back and forth. What time should I bring up? The book event? Or should I bring up that day ? Gulping wine, I make a quick decision. “Yeah, at one of your signings.”

Ed’s brow furrows as he runs a hand through his hair. “Oh?”

“In Helena. You were a great speaker. I loved the book, too.”

He mutters, “Thanks,” and turns to his phone.

It’s like watching a garage door close, the light within slowly blocked out. I want to take it back, rewind the last part of this interaction, and do it over. Should I have brought up the day we shared together? Is that what he was thinking?

There’s a beat of silence.

“I’m starving,” Nathan says, rubbing his completely flat belly.

“Alright.” Robin nuzzles closer into Nathan’s side than looks to me. “Are you hungry, Hattie?”

Am I hungry? I can’t tell. My body has gone into some kind of shock. I’m going to spend the summer with Ed.

“You guys go ahead. I need to wash that drive off. I’ll meet you there in a bit.”

“Rad.” Nathan smiles. “Let me help you with your bags.”

I throw Nathan the keys to my car. Robin shows me up the rich walnut stairs. The third one from the top creaks in a way that reminds me of Grandma’s farmhouse. Her whole floor creaks at this point, not just the stairs.

“So,” Robin purrs, “you went to Ed’s signing?”

“I did.” And it was a disaster, I think but don’t say.

But him not recognizing me wouldn't mean anything to Robin. She doesn’t know he’s the man from that day .

She and Anh know almost everything else about it.

Almost. I didn’t want to share his name, though.

At the time, I didn’t want to know if they already knew him from school or something.

I didn’t want to tell them his name and hear “oh yeah, he asked me to a dance in middle school” or “he’s a dick that hits on all the girls.

” As we got older, I didn’t tell them because I didn’t want them Googling him or sending a DM on my behalf.

I kept his name close to my chest, like a precious locket. I kept it just for myself.

“Yeah…” I answer, still deciding what to share.

Robin stops for a moment. “This is the bathroom. Straight across the hall is the linen closet. The large striped ones are beach towels, and the blue ones are for the bath. There’s another bathroom downstairs, too.”

I’m only half listening. Part of me is dying to tell Robin about Ed now. I clear my throat as she leads me down the hall. “You know that bookstore I worked at in New Haven?”

“Of course. Neighborhood Books. I went there the last time I visited my folks.”

“Do you remember me telling you about my first day?—”

“You mean the day you spent with your mystery man?” She opens the door at the end of the hall. “I thought this room would be perfect for you.”

I step inside. The evening sun is shimmering through the bay window, catching the glass butterfly hanging in the center pane and throwing rainbows on the opposite wall.

There’s a window seat with lush velvet jewel-tone pillows.

The walls are painted light blue, and in the corner by another window is a small white writing desk with a roll top cover.

A lush white comforter covers the bed along with more velvet throw pillows.

It’s beautiful. Calm and luxurious. “I love it.”

“What were you saying about the bookstore?”

There’s a commotion in the hall, and Nathan walks in holding one suitcase, followed by Ed holding the other.

“Nothing,” I quickly mutter.

Robin opens a door in the corner, showing me the small closet. “This house is a little quirky. The walls are super thin, so when you wake up at the crack of dawn as per usual…”

I laugh. “I’ll be quiet. ”

Nathan and Ed set down the suitcases inside the room, near the door.

“Who’s in the room next door?” I ask.

Robin crooks her thumb at Ed.

He smiles—what is it about that smile?—his green eyes catching the light. “Don’t worry. I won’t blast Bowie at all hours.”

Having to hear “Golden Years” is the least of my worries.

They all head downstairs. After the door clicks shut, I kick off my Vans, flop onto the bed, and exhale all the air out of my body. This is wild. Ed is going to be living next door to me all summer. Sleeping, writing, fidgeting tatted-knuckled hands all over the place.

And yet he doesn’t seem to remember me or our perfect day together. Maybe he thinks I don’t remember. I’m the one who brought up the signing, after all. But if he didn’t remember me then, why would he now?

Maybe he had more to drink during our perfect day than I thought, or maybe he’s suffered a traumatic brain injury. Of all my theories over the years, that’s the one I go back to the most. My least favorite, and most likely, theory is none of it meant as much to him as it did to me.

Eventually, I drag myself off the softest bed in the world and unpack my clothes in the closet.

Grabbing a blue towel, I get into the shower.

The hot water untangles the mess of knots in my shoulders from the drive and possibly from the stress of running into Ed and having him not remember me once again.

It’s fine.

I exhale and lather my hair, the rose and ginger of my soap calming me. We’ll carry on like that day ten years ago never happened. After my shower, I take extra care with my makeup. Nothing over the top, but I want to look good, really good.

The bar is a short stroll. I take my time, enjoying the ocean breeze on my bare legs in my blue sundress that I’ve been told brings out my eyes.

The Vern is busier than I expected for a tiny town bar, but it is a Friday.

The inside is dark with rich wood, hanging Tiffany lamps, and red vinyl booths.

In the back is a pool table and behind that a dim hallway, but I don’t see Robin, Nathan, or Ed anywhere.

The bartender finishes pouring a pitcher of light golden beer as I approach the bar.

After handing it and a stack of glasses off, he comes over.

His kind brown eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles, black hair slicked back in a style reminiscent of Superman, a few grays salting the sides, and a nose that looks like it’s never backed down from a fight. “What can I get for you?”

“Oh, um.” I’m momentarily caught off guard. You have to actually order when you’re standing in line for a drink. “Wine? Do you have any that aren’t terrible?”

I smirk so he knows I’m joking, mostly.

“Nope, nothing but Boone’s Farm here. Gals seem real fond of the strawberry flavor, but Blue Hawaiian is half off.” His smile widens and I realize he’s kidding. “We sell local wines by the glass.”

“Oh, thank God. The summer was looking bleak there for a second.”

“I’m Kyle.” He slides an impressive wine list across the bar.

“Hattie.” I take the menu in my hands, the paper well-worn and smooth under my fingertips.

“It’s nice to meet you. Are you staying around here?”

“Yeah. Some friends and I are just down the street for the summer.”

“You’ll be in here a lot, then.”

“I’m trying to save money, so not that often.”I select a Cabernet out of the Willamette Valley, one of the less expensive ones on the list.

“Saving for what?”

My uncertain future, my lack of knowing where my next paycheck will come from. Instead of getting too deep with this person I just met, I shrug. “Life.”

“Lucky for you”—Kyle takes a corkscrew to the bottle— “tenants within a two-block radius get a discount.”

I laugh. “Really?”

He shrugs. “If they order from me, they do. ”

Heat rises to my cheeks. Is it my imagination, or is he flirting with me?

“I’m actually looking for my friends. Have you seen a tall woman with long blonde hair, in cutoffs and tank top?”

Kyle hands me my glass. Our fingers brush and our eyes lock. “Robin? They went out to the patio. It’s out that way.”

He points to a hall on the other side of the bar.

After thanking him, I take my glass, and feeling quite good about myself, I head past the pool table, down the dark hallway, to the open door lighting my way.

I step into the waning sunshine to a gravel yard filled with wooden picnic tables, bright-yellow umbrellas, and a fire pit in the corner surrounded by Adirondack chairs.

Happy chatter and laughter fill the air with an almost imperceptible sound of the ocean underneath it, like someone forgot to turn off the white noise app on their phone.

Robin half stands from a table in the corner. “Over here!”