Page 22 of The Now in Forever

W e pull into the hotel roundabout, Rumours still blasting. The valet approaches, and Ed hands over the keys. A bellman dressed in a black suit with gold piping whisks our luggage away.

Walking into the lobby is like walking back in time.

It’s art déco swanky, with high-backed leather chairs, a rich red Persian rug covering a black and white–tiled floor, mirrored walls, and a long, low, black shellacked bookshelf serving as the front desk.

The ceiling is a true work of art; it’s all hammered copper.

Ed strolls up to the front desk, and Anh and I follow.

She takes my arm and whispers, “Is something going on with you two?”

I don’t know how to answer, so I just shush her instead. We get to the desk, and Anh pulls a book off the shelf and holds it up. Of course they have a copy of Vex.

“Put it back,” I whisper.

She purses her lips and sets it on the desk instead. “You should autograph it for them.”

The desk clerk’s eyes go wide. “Oh, my goodness. I knew I recognized your name.” He hands Ed a pen. “Would you mind signing it? It’s such an honor to have you staying with us. ”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. An honor. He wrote a book; he didn’t save lives in some third-world country.

Ed smiles, but it’s not his usual take over his whole face, make his eyes crinkle in the corner kind of smile. It’s an uncomfortable grimace disguised as a smile. He signs the book quickly. Keep on keepin’ on.

“Here you go, man.”

The clerk nods. “Thank you. Here are your keys.” He hands us each a small leather case with a keycard inside. Leather. I’ve had keycards in little paper sleeves before, but never in a leather case. How much does this place cost?

A bellhop ushers us in the elevator and shows us to our rooms. Two black doors with gold-plated numbers, right next to each other all the way at the end of a hall with a patterned carpet to rival the one in The Shining.

Before we head into our room, Ed says, “Should we just meet in the lobby around six?”

Anh waves. “Sounds great,” she says then walks through the door. I can hear her oohing and ahhing over the amenities.

Ed leans in closer to me. I can smell his citrus scent, and my chest warms. “Hattie…”

He looks at me for a long, drawn-out beat, his warm green eyes snatching my breath away.

“The thing is, I don’t think I can forget it.”

I search his face and give him a nod. “We’ll meet you at six, dressed to the nines.”

He smiles, the real one this time.

The room is truly amazing. Dark hardwood floors, covered by a massive white fur carpet.

A white leather couch and two golden velvet chairs sit in front of a marble fireplace, already lit with a fire.

There is a low coffee table, with a marble top to match the hearth and geometric gold legs, a gold bucket of champagne on ice, and two glasses.

Anh runs to the fireplace and turns a knob.

The fire goes up. She turns it the other way, and the fire goes down.

I laugh. “The magic of gas.”

She beams. “And that’s not all.”

It feels so good to see her happy. She opens the double doors to a bedroom with a fluffy king-sized bed, gold geometric wallpaper, and a wall of windows with a door to a balcony.

“Wow.”

“You’re telling me. This must be costing your boyfriend a pretty penny.”

I ignore her and step out onto the balcony, the late-afternoon sun warming my face and casting an amber light on downtown Portland and the Willamette River beyond it.

The champagne cork pops inside. So much for never drinking again. I take a seat in one of the gold metal peacock chairs with blue fur cushions positioned on the deck. It looks more like a throne than patio furniture.

Anh brings out two glasses of champagne, handing me one and clinking it with hers. She sits in the other chair and sighs. “I could get used to this.”

“You could probably afford places like this with your fancy lawyer salary,” I say, sipping the light bubbly liquid.

Anh laughs. “Yes, I probably could. It’s the vacations I don’t usually get to take.

This is the first time off I’ve taken in…

” She pauses, searching the clouds for answers.

“God, in two years. That can’t be right.

” She sips her drink and nods slowly. “Two years. When Melissa and I went to Cabo.” She lets out a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

I sit forward in my chair, putting my hand on her arm.

“It’s no wonder Melissa wanted someone more fun. She actually told me that. She said Stephanie’s lighter, less serious. She said we never laugh anymore.”

“Honey, you both work a lot. You can’t beat yourself up for being good at your job.”

“Sure. At what cost, though? For years, I was so focused on trying to make partner. I just never thought it would cost me mine.”

I rub a hand on Anh’s back.

She looks up. “You know what else? I haven’t actually read one of the books for book club since we went to Puerto Rico.”

I drop my hand, more out of shock than anything. “Really? ”

“I’ve just been so busy, and I read all day for work. When I get home, I just want to throw on sweats and watch Below Deck . I don’t want to think anymore.” She puts her head in her hands.

I rub her back again. I can’t believe she never read the books. On the Zoom calls, she always spoke so eloquently about them. But now doesn’t seem the time to bring it up. “It doesn’t matter.”

We sit silently for a minute, but then, I can’t help it. I ask. “You didn’t even read the ones you picked?”

Her whole body slumps, fresh tears welling up in the corner of her eyes again.

I quickly add, “It’s okay. It’s fine.”

After Anh calms down, we head out to find dresses for the party.

We stop in a nearby boutique, and Anh finds a gorgeous purple silk dress that falls on her tall frame like it was made for her.

She doesn’t even look at the tag before trying it on.

I peek at the prices, swallow back my discomfort, and head to the small sale section.

There is a black backless dress with complicated spaghetti straps in the front that’s a reasonable price. I try it on, and Anh purses her lips.

“It’s alright.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I mean, you look great, as always, but the straps are a little dated.”

She flits about the store, bringing me three other dresses, again not even checking the tags.

I try on the light-blue chiffon dress, which has a long sheer layered skirt and plunging V neckline with a matching one in the back.

The blue almost exactly matches the shade of my eyes and makes them stand out even more.

I come out of the dressing room to look at it in the three-way mirror. It’s stunning. Truly. I feel like a fairy princess and twirl, the soft skirt flowing around my calves.

Anh gasps. “That’s the one.”

My stomach drops when I check the tag. Why didn’t I check it before I tried it on? I can’t afford this.

“It’s not really me. ”

Anh, sharp as a tack, shakes her head. “I’ve never seen any article of clothing that is more you .”

“I… I don’t know.”

Anh frowns. “I’ll buy it.”

I open my mouth to protest, but she holds up her finger. “No arguing. I’m on vacation.”

Anh gets ready first then scrolls her phone with a glass of champagne while I have my turn. I take extra time with my makeup. I’m trying to decide if I should put my hair up or leave it down, when I hear a gasp from the other room, then a large clatter and shattering glass.

I run out. Anh is heaving, her white knuckles wrapped tightly around her phone, a collection of glass shards and champagne in a puddle on the floor near her feet.

“Oh my God, what happened?” I lead her away from the broken glass. “Are you okay?”

Anh shows me the screen of her phone. “No. I’m not okay. Look, look at this.”

It’s Melissa’s Instagram account. There is a picture of her looking rosy-cheeked and happy sitting next to a beautiful Latino woman with gorgeous chestnut hair, a pristine aquamarine pool behind them, cocktails held up in a cheers.

The caption reads, “I am beyond grateful this incredible human was born on this day twenty-six years ago. You are the love of my life, the light of my days, the star of my nights. I’m so excited I get to do this life with you. ”

Yikes. I’m stunned and also thankful I’m not on any of these sites. Chad probably posts all the time.

“You need to unfollow her.”

Anh nods and grabs the champagne, taking a swig right from the bottle and sitting on the floor in her beautiful gown. “I know. I know. I should. But the thing is, then I won’t see them—see her. I won’t know what’s going on in her life anymore. ”

I check the time. We’re supposed to meet Ed downstairs in two minutes. Anh’s mascara is running down her cheeks. I send a quick text.

Running late. We’ll meet you at the party.

I take the champagne from Anh and set it to the side. “You won’t know. But is knowing making you happy?”

Anh sighs. “No.”

I go to the little Keurig machine and put in a hot chocolate pod.

“It’s a connection, but it’s not real.” I offer Anh a hand, helping her to her feet. I lead her to the bathroom, wet a washcloth, and wipe off her face where the mascara and eyeliner have run. Anh closes her eyes, and I can see her shoulders relax.

“Plus, who says ‘do this life’? You don’t need that hippy yolo shit blocking up your feed.”

Anh snickers at this. “She did start to get pretty woo-woo toward the end there. Our apartment had so many crystals.”

“Hey, don’t knock the crystals.”

Anh laughs, a real laugh this time. “I forgot you like those, too.”

I finish washing Anh’s face, and she opens her eyes, looking much calmer than before.

“Now, do you want to do your makeup again, or would you like to get out of this dress and into the fluffy robe behind you?”

“Robe, please.”

I nod. “I’ll just text Ed and tell him we’re not coming.”

“No,” Anh says, her face stern. “I’m staying. You are going.”

“If you’re not, I’m not. I’ll make another mug of hot chocolate, and we can watch whatever housewives you want.”

“Look at you in that dress.” Anh grabs my hand and twirls me for emphasis. “You can’t miss the party. You’ll meet all sorts of publishing people and become the famous writer you’re destined to be.”

She smiles as she slips out of her dress and into the robe. “Look at me talking about destiny. I can be woo-woo too. Please go. I’ll be fine.” She clicks a few things on her phone and turns it to show me. “See, unfollowed. Already doing better. ”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. You look so amazing; you can’t waste it. I’m fine. I might even start one of the books for Story Club.”

I hug Anh tightly. “If you need me, I will be back in a flash.”

“I know, honey. Go have fun.”