Page 44 of The Now in Forever

I t’s finally here. The grand opening of Story Club Books. I wake up earlier than normal, too excited to sleep. On autopilot, I check my email, but the last one Ed sent was two days ago. I reread it.

We had a crazy day today on set. There's a horse for one of the dream sequences, and he must’ve gotten into craft services, because the poor buddy had so many farts. We kept having to cut. The smell, you would not believe it.

This is a big week! You are going to do amazing.

Love,

Ed

Can’t deny I would’ve loved to read more I miss yous and less horse farts. I bundle up and go for a run. The clouds are thick and gray, like a worn-in white comforter, and there’s a sweet smell in the air, like it might rain later.

The trail is beautiful. Bright-orange leaves rustle in light autumn wind, offset by the evergreen trees and the rolling ocean below. I run back through town, down Main Street, pumpkins in front of nearly every business, and the warm scent of campfires and cinnamon permeate the street.

After a hot shower, I throw on thick brown tights, a soft chocolate turtleneck, and a light-blue corduroy dress over both. When I flick on the light switch, the large crystal chandelier comes on, bathing the room in a warm glow.

Fall-themed romances fill the front table. I straighten You, Again and The Ex-Hex .

Going over to the small seating area with a pair of pink velvet chairs, I fluff the shaggy alpaca pillows as Robin walks onto the porch, her long blonde hair tied back in a low ponytail.

She’s carrying a tray of three coffee cups, and I hurry to open the door for her.

She hands me the coffee, and the strong scent of pumpkin spice fills my nose.

“You didn’t have to do that. I have a coffee machine right here.”

“Save it for the paying customers.” She sets the tray down on the counter and gets one out. “What can I do? Put me to work.”

“Don’t you have to work at your actual job today?”

She shakes her head while sipping her latte. “Nope. Took the day off.”

The bells I put on the door jingle, and I’m about to run over and let them know we’re not open yet, but I stop as soon as I see who’s walking through the door.

“Anh!”

She beelines to me, wrapping me in a tight hug.

“I thought you couldn’t get out of your classes.”

We part, and she gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, her minty lips leaving a gooey spot. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Robin comes over, and each of them grab one of my hands. I’m overwhelmed with love for these two women, showing up for me no matter what. I want to bask in it, but there is shit to do!

“Let’s get started!”

I go to the counter and light the small vanilla candle. The familiar scent of dusty books, leather, and vanilla fills my senses. I open my planner on the counter, and we divide up the tasks.

Grandma calls around nine, and I give her and Uncle Rob a FaceTime tour.She’s still recovering, staying in Hermosa Beach with Uncle Rob. The farmhouse sold last week, and when she’s back on her feet, she has her eyes on a condo.

At ten a.m. on the dot, I turn on the neon Open sign and set out the sandwich board on the sidewalk. Anh runs down the street with a bundle of shiny pumpkin balloons billowing behind her. She hands them to me, and I tie them to the sign.

I smile at her. “We did it.”

“You did it, babe.”

A tear forms in the corner of my eyes. “You know, without you, none of this is possible.”

A small tear falls from her cheek too. “Okay, I know.”

We both laugh and wrap each other in a tight hug.

Story Club Books is open for business.

It starts out slow but steadily picks up.

Nathan mans the espresso station, Anh is at the register, Robin is taking tons of photos and uploading them to Story Club’s Instagram—turns out it’s pretty handy having a social media genius as a best friend—and I greet the customers, offer recommendations, and restock.

Every jingle of the bells, I turn, hoping to see Ed’s face.

Around noon, my mom comes in with her boyfriend. They’re staying in Seaside at a spa. She wraps me in a tight hug. “Honey, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

She oohs and ahhs and buys five Nora Roberts books.

I talked to my dad. He can’t make it this weekend, but he and his family are planning on visiting during the kids' Christmas break.

A little after three, Anh comes to find me. “Hattie, we’re nearly out of ones.”

I nod, adrenaline spiking my heart. The bank is still open. This is not a big problem. I can do this. “I’ll run to the bank.”

The Fall Festival is in full swing. The air smells heavy and sweet with the scent of caramel corn. Outside the antique store, kids are bobbing for apples in vintage metal washtubs, the late-afternoon sun sparkling on the sloshing water.

The yoga studio across the street is offering a free flow. I can’t go today, but it occurs to me that Anh might want to.

The toy store has set up two tables on the sidewalk—one with tiny pumpkins, paints, and brushes, the other with larger pumpkins and carving tools.

Which reminds me I haven’t gotten pumpkins for the store yet.

A little girl with big brown eyes and long blonde hair is dipping her brush in the black paint, but instead of daubing it on the pumpkin, she glides it over her eyelid like makeup.

I laugh and think about calling out to the adults nearby who must be her parents, but before I can, I nearly run smack dab into Kyle.

He grabs both my arms to steady me. “Whoa.”

Any awkwardness we had after our walk on the beach has dissipated. I’ve been in The Vern many times since, and we’ve become friends. “Sorry. On a mad dash for change.”

“Congrats on the opening. I’m headed that way.”

“Great. I’ll see you there in a bit.”

On my way back from getting the change, I peer into each face I pass, scanning the crowd and hoping my eyes land on dark tousled hair and moss green eyes. No one fits the bill.

I check my email.

Nothing.

Scrolling over, I go to Instagram and am overwhelmed by the numbers popping up in the corner by the heart.

Story Club is tagged over and over. Selfies on the porch steps in front of the faux bookshelf, pictures of beautiful lattes made with Nathan’s expert hand, pictures of smiling customers with Story Club Books totes.

We have nearly 30,000 views and over 300 hundred likes on the reel Robin posted an hour ago. We’re going viral!

When I’m back at Story Club, I take in the beauty of the old blue Victorian house. Three women sit on the steps taking a selfie. People drink their coffees at the cafe tables on the porch. A smile takes over my face.

Ed might not be here, but here—this place—is pretty amazing.

I go in and take over on the register, telling Anh she should check out the free yoga class. She comes back an hour later and shoves me to the side.

After the last customer of the day leaves, I click the door shut, and Nathan falls into one of the pink velvet chairs. Robin falls into his lap with an exaggerated sigh .

“I swear, if you two break my chair…”

Robin sticks her tongue out at me. “You owe us.”

I laugh. “It's true.” I squeeze Anh next to me. “I couldn’t have done this without you all. And we get to do it all again tomorrow!”

“I need food and a drink,” Nathan says, standing up with Robin in his arms.

“At yoga, Michelle said there’s trivia tonight at The Vern.”

“Michelle?” Robin raises her eyebrows as she wiggles out of Nathan’s arms.Then turns to me. “Want to come?”

I nod. “I’ll meet you there.”

They all head out, and I’m left alone in my shop. I inhale deeply and let out a satisfied sigh. I count out the till and put the money away in the safe in the tiny back room.

Hoping to hear from Ed, I check my email, but there’s nothing. I hit Compose and start to type.

It’s real now. Story Club Books is open. It was a great day, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn't hoping to see you, that I didn’t look for your face in every customer who came in.

I know you’re busy. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m just trying to be honest.

This whole email was a way for us to stay close, but I’ve never felt farther away from you.

I’m not sure this is working ? —

I quickly delete the words all the way up to it’s real . What am I doing? Do I really want to cut off all communication because he wasn’t here today?

Bells jingle.

Shit. I forgot to lock the front door.

I run out. “Sorry, we’re closed.”

Standing there with a bouquet of marigolds and a leather overnight bag, in black suit pants, a dark jean jacket, and a Veruca Salt T-shirt, is Ed, his green eyes shining in the light of the chandelier.

“Hey.”

My heart is in my throat. “Hey yourself. ”

He crosses the room, closing the space between us. “These are for you.”

Setting the flowers down on the counter along with his phone, he fiddles with a few things, and “Just Like Honey ” plays. The thumps of the bass mirror the ones of my heart.

He holds out his hand to me. “Can I have this dance?”

Warmth spreads through my body. When I take his hand, he pulls me up into his arms. His jacket is rough under my palms. "Covert" is embroidered in hot pink stitching on the chest. I run my finger along the stitches and laugh as he twirls me around to the music.

“Oh my God. Where did you get this coat?”

“I had it made. There’s one in my bag for you, too.”

“No.”

He nods. “It’s not pink satin, but I thought it was a nice compromise.”

I lay my head on his shoulder. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

“For a second, I wasn’t sure I could either. Hattie.” He takes my face in his hands, planting a soft kiss on my lips. When we part, he says, “I’m an idiot.”

I laugh, and he takes my hand, his face serious. “I’ve been doing some thinking—actually a lot of thinking. I’ve always been a one-foot-out-the-door kind of person. In all my relationships, but especially my romantic ones.”

“Okay…”

“If I’m not all in, I can’t get hurt or hurt as bad. I’ve thought I could just enjoy the time we have together and focus on my own shit, and whatever happens, happens. But that’s not going to work.”

“It’s not,” I agree, remembering the email I was just about to send.

“If I missed this, it would’ve been just like the boardwalk that day in December.

Or just like how I made you feel all alone in LA.

I don’t want you to feel alone. And I don’t want to miss this.

I’m missing major moments of our lives together because I’m too scared to go all in.

And that’s just fucking dumb. Do you know how you get fucked up skateboarding? ”

I half smile but shake my head .

“You don’t commit. If you're doing a trick and get too in your head, if you aren’t fully in the movement, you're doomed from the start. That’s what I’ve done to us. I’m getting right to the rail and jumping off the board.”

“You lost me.”

“I’ve had a mental block. Getting close and opening up, really being there and showing up for us, has been too scary, so I’ve been bailing.

But not anymore. I’m so sorry I left you on the boardwalk that day.

I’m so sorry I made you feel all alone in LA.

And I’m sorry I’ve not been fully in this with you. Can you forgive me?”

I smile, my heart swelling so much, my chest can hardly contain it. “Yes.”

“I’ll never leave you alone like that again. I know what we have is complicated, but I want to figure it out. I want more than just emails. I want you in person, all of you. I love you.”

My cheeks ache from how wide my smile is. He’s here. Ed is here, and he wants me. He wants a real life together. “I love you.”

He leans in, and we kiss. His lips are soft and warm. The music drifts on the air around us. Just Like Honey. We spin around, and the lights from the chandelier swirl in my vision.

“Want to see upstairs?” I breathe into Ed’s ear.

He takes my hand in his, and we walk toward the stairs, up to my place, off toward our future together.