Page 26 of The Now in Forever

W e race like children on the playground, past food carts and people out smoking in front of bars, until we finally make it to the hotel.

I lean against the wall of the elevator, trying to catch my breath, but Ed takes my face in his hands and kisses me softly, seizing what little breath I had left. Time slows.

The elevator dings open. Ed intertwines his fingers with mine as we walk down the long hallway, the anticipation between us so thick, you could snatch it right out of the air and take a bite. Ed takes his keycard out of his pocket, and the beep sends a pulse straight to my thighs.

He holds the door open for me as I enter the room that is identical to ours. I head straight for the bedroom, stepping out of my shoes along the way. Ed follows at a measured pace, his hands in his pockets. I can feel his eyes on me.

In front of the bed, I move one of my straps off my shoulder, then the other, feeling the cool air conditioning on my bare breasts. I let the whole dress fall to the floor in a pool of fabric at my feet, wearing nothing but a light-blue thong. I look over my shoulder.

Ed's hooded and hungry eyes are fixed on me. He comes up behind me, putting his hands on my breasts, his palms cold and his grip firm. His lips make a trail from behind my ear to my collarbone .

“I’ve thought about this for so long,” he whispers, his voice thick. “I’ve wanted you for years.”

It’s all I’ve ever longed to hear. I turn to face him, taking his jacket off, lifting his shirt up over his head. Unbuckling his belt and letting his pants fall to the floor. Our skin presses together.

He lays me down on the bed, starting where he left off, kissing my collarbone then moving down to my breast, taking my nipple into his mouth.

He sucks harder, and I cry out with pleasure.

Want pulses from deep inside me. I take his hand and move it between my legs, showing him exactly what I want.

He moves rhythmically as pressure builds up, starting at my thighs, moving to my chest.

I whisper in his ear, “Do you have a condom?”

My skin feels cold as he moves away momentarily, running to the bathroom. The condom is on before he’s even back in bed. I laugh.

“That was fast.”

He licks at my neck. “Don’t worry. The rest won’t be.”

He moves his mouth to my ear, taking the soft lobe in his mouth and nibbling while he moves his other hand down my body, squeezing my breast on the way down, running his hand across my stomach, then finding my most sensitive spot and swirling.

I reach for his length, taking him in my hand, and he gasps at my touch. Running my hand up and down before I line us up, I say, “I need you.”

His pupils flare as he moves slower than I think he ever has in his entire life as he pushes inside, filling me inch by inch as he watches my face.

I lean my head back, moaning as he pulls out and does it again, this time going even deeper.

“Is that too much?”

“No. I want more.” I breathe out, my thighs shaking.

He thrusts deeper, picking up the pace, and I arch into him, increasing the pressure.

“I could watch you like this all night.”

His words make me clench harder, and an animal noise escapes him. He pulls out and enters me again slowly, but I can’t take it anymore. I need more; I need him faster, harder.

Rolling on top of him, I settle myself down on the length of him as his hands grip my hips then my ass.

I brace myself with my palms on his chest, his tattooed skin underneath my fingers. He moves one hand to my breast, half sitting up to take it into his mouth. It’s too much and not enough. My whole body convulses as he sucks strongly on my nipple, and I come down harder on his erection.

I freeze, stars filling my vision, my body taken by wave after wave. I feel Ed clench and swell, and then he stills as well. When I open my eyes, he’s watching me, his jaw slack, his eyes smoldering.

“You are so beautiful.”

I flop down on the bed, and he lies next to me, running his hand on my arm. I roll into him, his arms around me, my head on his chest.

We melt into each other as the night stretches in front of us.

Morning comes faster than seems decent. I don’t even know what time I eventually fell asleep last night, tucked in the crook of Ed’s arms, the small spoon to his big spoon.

The light outside is pearly pink. Quietly, I move out from our cozy nook to go check on Anh.

I put my dress back on, wishing I had something else to wear, but I just have to go down the hall, one door over in fact.

Shoes in hand, I go barefoot, the Shining carpet in the hallway soft under my feet.

I open the door and head straight to the bedroom.

Anh is still sleeping in the king-sized bed, a red satin sleeping mask snug on her face.

Relief washes over me. I should’ve checked on her last night, but I was too swept up in the moment.

I’m about to head back to Ed’s room, snuggle back into the warmth of his body, but I realize I don’t have a key to get back in.

Instead, I grab some cozy clothes out of my luggage—a threadbare T-shirt with Queen of Mystery printed on it and a pair of sweat shorts—and take them into the bathroom.

I stand for a long time under the warm water of the shower, replaying last night's events in my head. Ed’s lips on my neck, on my stomach, on my…

Anh rushes into the bathroom, interrupting my thoughts. I peek out of the shower curtain; she’s hunched in front of the toilet, retching. Hopping out, I wrap a towel around myself quickly and hold her hair back.

After a few minutes, she presses the handle and sits on the cold tile floor. I move my hand to her back, rubbing slow circles.

Anh wipes her mouth. “I should not have finished that champagne.”

“Oh, honey. Come on. Let's get you into bed.”

I help her back to the king-sized bed, and we find a trashy reality TV show marathon on the hotel’s cable. We look at the room service menu, but Anh throws it across the room. “It all sounds disgusting.”

“You have to eat something. I can go find you Saltines.”

She nods then winces. “And some club soda?”

I smile while I transfer my stuff from Anh’s fancy purse to my mini leather backpack. “Yes, and club soda. Any other requests?”

“Tylenol.”

“You got it.”

“Thanks, Hattie. Hey, are we going back today? If we are, we might need to bring a bag for the car.”

“A bag?”

She mimes yakking, and I understand what she’s saying. “Got it. I’ll talk to Ed. Maybe we can stay one more night.”

I head back to Ed’s room and knock lightly on the door. A few minutes with no answer. Should I knock again or just leave? But then Ed opens the door, a towel wrapped around his waist, water trickling down his chest, his face in a sleepy smile. “There you are.”

He wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me inside.

Our lips meet as the door clicks, the taste of mint from his toothpaste bright on my tongue.

He backs me against the door, running his hands down my spine and lifting me up, cupping my ass in his hands.

He moves his mouth to my neck, and a moan falls from my lips.

The towel from Ed’s hips hits the floor .

Then I remember my mission.

“Ed, I have to go.”

He mumbles into my neck.

“Anh’s not feeling well.”

“Bummer.” He sets me down softly. “She’s sick?”

“Hungover. She needs crackers.”

“Okay. I can come too. Just give me a minute.” He gestures to the fact that he has no clothes on. I follow him as he moves toward his luggage, admiring his ass, desire building in my chest. I grab his hand as he reaches for some boxers.

“Maybe we could be quick?”

His smile overtakes his face. He reaches for a condom instead with a small eyebrow raise at me. I nod and quickly shimmy out of my shorts. Ed helps bring the shirt up over my head then picks me up again, this time leaning me against the massive window.

“Ed, someone will see.”

“There’s no way. We’re too high up.”

I’m not sure he’s right, but I want him too much to worry about it. “Okay,” I say in a breathy voice.

The glass is cool against my back, while Ed is hot against my chest. Running his mouth along my shoulder, he thrusts inside me.

I clench around him with each of his movements then sigh and relax as I let him in deeper and deeper.

His arms are shaking, either from exertion or pleasure, I’m not sure.

I get down, turning toward the window, and guide him inside me again from behind.

He groans out my name, sending fresh tingles on my skin.

Ed puts his hands on top of mine on the glass then runs them down my arms to my breasts, cupping them in his massive hands and pinching my nipples between his fingers.

I cry out with the overwhelming pleasure from it.

He squeezes harder, and I arch farther into him.

My entire body is on fire as a massive pulse shoots through me.

I can feel him release as well, every muscle tight.

We’re both left panting and wet-noodle relaxed.

He pulls out and turns me around, wrapping me in his arms.

“Holy shit. ”

I sigh. “You can say that again.”

He laughs and yells, “Holy shit! Why haven’t we been doing that all summer?”

I kiss his cheek lightly. “We can make up for lost time. But first, Anh needs crackers.”

After a quick cleanup and getting our clothes on, we head out in search of a convenience store, stopping by the front desk on the way out to book an additional night. We’ll leave tomorrow, and no one will vomit in the car.

Down the street, there’s a Plaid Pantry.

I get Anh a club soda, Saltines, her favorite peanut M my protagonist finds out the man in the book can’t leave the bookstore.

“What are you writing?”

Anh startles me. I didn’t even hear the sliding glass door open. Her hair is wet, her face clean, and she looks a little less green than when I saw her last.

“It’s nothing.”

She sits in the chair and cracks open her club soda. “So…”

I put down my notebook. “So?”

“Where were you last night?”

So, she hadn’t been asleep the whole time. I smile, unable not to. “I was with Ed.”

She swats at me. “I knew it! Details. I need all the gross hetero-normative details.”

I laugh. “You know what’s really crazy about the whole thing? Do you remember when I told you about that guy I worked at the bookstore with for one day?”

Anh nods. “The perfect day.”

“That’s the one.” I take a sip of kombucha, biding my time and trying to decide if I should tell her. I swallow and go for it. “It’s him.”

Anh freezes mid swig. She coughs, sputtering on the soda. I pat her back. “Are you okay?”

She slowly gets ahold of her cough. “It’s him, like actually him? I thought you were going to say he reminded you of that guy. But he is that guy ? From that day ?”

“Yep.”

I tell her about our night but don’t go into excessive detail. I know she’s hurting, and I don’t want to rub my happiness in her face.

Anh sits back in her chair. “That’s nuts.”

“It really is.”

Standing, she puts a hand to her head. “Be careful. He broke your heart once already. Don’t let him do it again.”

I’m about to defend Ed, to explain that he was with his mom that day in December, but I don’t.

Part of me knows she’s right. He could very well destroy me again.

Anh heads back inside. I open my notebook again and lose myself in my story, where the only people getting hurt are fictional and it’s all my doing.

I’m not sure how long I sit there before there is a small knock on the sliding glass. I turn to see Ed’s face smashed against the slider, his arms spread out wide.

He opens the door. “Want to go see a movie?”

“Sure.”

I go inside, where Anh is lying on the couch reading. “Anh, do you want to go see a movie with us?”

“No,” she says without looking up from her book.

“Okay, we’ll be back later.” I slip on my sandals, grab my backpack, and kiss the top of her head.

She whispers to me, “Remember what I said. You only have one heart.”