Page 38 of The Now in Forever

I n the morning, I go for a run. The rhythm of my feet that usually calms me does nothing to quell the relentless wave of thoughts. This is quite possibly the biggest decision I’ll ever make.

After showering, grabbing a cup of coffee roughly the size of my head, and checking Instagram a billion times, I dig out the card Kyle gave me.

The agent answers on the first ring. “This is Rick with Beachside Properties.”

“Um, yes.” What am I doing? “My name is Hattie Stevens. I’m interested in one of your properties.”

“Ahh, Hattie. Kyle’s friend, right?”

My stomach drops, remembering last night, but I say, “Yep. That’s me.”

We make an appointment to meet at 1:30 at the bookstore. I walk there, savoring the light breeze billowing the skirt of my sundress.

The blue Victorian building is just as beautiful as before.

The Books sign is swinging lightly in the breeze.

Rick is waiting for me at the top of the steps.

It’s as perfect as I remember—well, not perfect, exactly.

It would need a lot of work. After taking another tour, lingering again to look at the view in the bedroom, I’m still not sure what to do.

Rick hands me his card after he locks the red door.

“I have another interested party, so let me know if you want to put in an offer.”

My mind is spinning in so many different directions, I don’t know which way is up.

The walk back feels heavy, my limbs, my heart, my head. I’d like to stop at The Vern for a glass of wine, but I’m not ready to see Kyle.

Instead, I stop by the little general store on the way home and grab some Cabernet Sauvignon, olives, crackers, and cheese. I take it all out onto the porch and check my phone again. Ed still hasn’t called me back from last night. But I do have an email from my critique partners.

Pouring myself a generous glass of wine, I read through their comments. Definitely some things to fix, but so far, nothing too major.

That is until I get to the end. Both of them don’t feel the ending is right.

June has to choose between the man in the book and the real man that she could have a life with.

She chooses the real man. Even though her feelings for the man in the book are stronger, what they have could never be more than fleeting moments.

You can’t marry a book, much to my dismay.

But both my critique partners think the man in the book is who she should end up with.

An idea begins to form, so quickly I pull up my notes app to jot it down before I lose it.

I write an alternate ending, one where June and the man in the book end up with their happily ever after.

I’m not sure which is better, which I like more.

I’m too close to it and can’t tell anymore which is the right answer.

I need to give it some space.

Sighing, I set down my phone and look out at the ocean. I think about making another list, but how has that really helped me so far? Can I find the answers in the waves? Then a thought occurs to me. I pick back up my phone and download a magic eight ball app. Let the ball decide.

In order for the app to work, you have to shake your phone.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and jiggle softly.

Should I put an offer on the bookstore?

Bright-green letters appear, saying, “It is decidedly so. ”

I close my eyes again.

Are Ed and I going to end up together?

“Ask again later.”

I let out a frustrated huff. After a sip of wine, I shake more vigorously and ask again.

Are Ed and I going to end up together, even if I buy the bookstore?

“Very Doubtful.”

I jerk the phone up and down.

Are Ed and I going to end up together if I move to Portland?

Robin startles me mid shake. “What are you doing?”

I let out a long breath and look at the screen.

“Reply hazy. Try again.”

I toss the phone at a nearby pillow.

“Honey, are you okay?” Robin asks, her voice soft.

As I consider how to answer, I gaze out at the ocean, the sun on my face bright and warm.

“Honey?”

“I’m fine.” I hold up my glass. “Do you want some wine?”

I check my phone again. Nothing. Ed hasn’t called. Hasn’t texted.

“We’re going to explore the sandcastles then go to dinner. Do you want to come?”

“No.”

“Whoa… You hate sand art?”

“I want to work on my book.” Which is a lie. I want this magic eight ball app to tell me what I want to hear.

“Okay, maybe later we can all get a drink at The Vern?”

The wine turns sour on my tongue. That sounds terrible, too. “Maybe.”

“What’s going on? Are you upset that I’ve been spending so much time with Nathan?”

“What? No.”

Am I? Maybe a little at first, but since then I’d been too caught up in my own stuff to really notice.

Robin still looks concerned. “Are you sure? We can go to the castle thing another day. You and I can do something. ”

“No. Really. I’m not upset about you and Nathan.”

“But you are upset.”

I sigh and tell Robin all about Ed. How it was a disaster when I went there, and in order to save face, I suggested we not have any contact for the rest of the summer.

Then about when I was trying not to text him, finding the picture on Instagram.

I tell her about Kyle and how we’ve been hanging out a bit and how we kissed last night.

“Kyle’s nice, handsome, and he likes me. He’s been so up front with wanting to spend time with me.”

Robin is nodding, her pink lips pulled into a straight line, not quite a frown.

It’s her thinking face. I’ve seen it many times.

“Kyle’s super cool. But Hattie, I’ve seen how you and Ed look at each other.

You suggested not talking for the rest of the summer.

You can’t be pissed that he’s respecting your wishes. ”

“But what about the photo?”

“I think you should talk to him about it. Maybe it was just friends goofing around. We don’t know. What are the odds that you two would find each other again after all this time? Stick to the plan. Ask him about it when you see him. When are you supposed to meet?”

“In a week.”

“There you go! You can talk about it then. What made you finally join Instagram?”

“Well, there’s this bookstore…”

I describe the shop to Robin. I can tell she’s trying very hard to be neutral, but the smile playing at the corner of her mouth gives her away.

“That all sounds amazing! So, what’s stopping you?”

The question gets under my skin.

“Ed. What if he doesn’t want to live here?”

She frowns. “He may not. But what if he moves to LA? Do you want to live there?”

I think about the cute cafe, the house with a pool, Ed. Would it really be that bad?

“I don’t know.”

Nathan calls out from the house. “The castles are waiting. ”

Robin smiles at the sound of his voice. “I’ll tell him we’re not going. Let’s eat ice cream and watch Gilmore Girls.”

I’m not going to ruin the day they had planned, and I need to get things in order. “I really do want to work on my book. Thanks for listening.”

We both stand and share a big hug.

“Anytime. Hattie, I was wondering, will you be my maid of honor?”

I nearly fall back on my chair. I thought for sure she would ask Anh. But with Anh’s engagement broken off, maybe it would be too painful. “Of course.”

She smiles. “When I leave, are you going to get back on Instagram?”

I shake my head.

“Are you going to keep asking that magic eight ball questions?”

I sigh. “No.”

“If Ed wasn’t a factor, would you buy the bookstore?”

“Yes. In a heartbeat.”

And as soon as it’s out of my mouth, I know it’s true.

She shrugs. “You’ll figure it out. If this is what you want and you and Ed are meant to be, then you can figure it out together.”

We hug again, and she heads off with Nathan.

I turn my phone over in my hand, take a shaky breath, and check my bank account. Still not looking great.

But as soon as the money is there, I’ll make an offer on the bookstore.