Page 9 of The Love Thief

We walked the full length of the boardwalk, all the way to the volleyball nets at the end of Mission Beach and back.

Mikey grabbed fish tacos for dinner while I resentfully slurped a smoothie, secretly hoping for a bite.

I couldn’t chew because of the wires in my mouth.

Mikey dropped me off at home around 7:30 P.M. He asked for my phone, so he could check the camera before he began his mission.

We decided that he would return it to me later that night, along with a full revenge report.

Here’s what happened. Mikey called his old friend Frank, who has a collection of pet snakes and reptiles, and asked him where to buy small snakes, a few rats, and several thousand crickets.

Frank turned him on to his supplier at Sports Arena, which was just a few miles from Mom’s house.

For a hundred bucks, Mikey bought three thousand live crickets, four rats, and four small snakes.

Then, he drove to Barry’s and parked down the street.

Before getting out of the car with his three brown paper bags of miniterrorists, Mikey checked the security camera on my phone and found the house was mostly dark and empty. Fortunately, it was a moonless night, and the suburban street was very quiet as he walked to Barry’s.

Mikey had been to Barry’s house more than once and knew that, off the master bedroom, there was a walled-in private patio, easily accessible by walking along the east side of the house. Inside one of the brown bags, he had three ziplock plastic bags of crickets—a thousand or so in each.

He grabbed one bag, unzipped it, and poured the critters over the wall onto the patio.

Then, he walked further along the east side until he came upon a large outflow vent, and he carefully deposited a snake and a rat into the vent along with the second bag of crickets.

Finally, he made his way up onto the roof, where he found a very large vent and funneled the final bag of crickets, snakes, and rats into the house.

Mikey arrived back at Mom’s at 9:15 P.M. with a slightly crazed look in his eyes and a big goofy grin on his face.

“That was the most fun I’ve had in years,” he said, cheeks flushed, offering me a high-five.

Since he was as tall as me, our hands slapped together in perfect unison as we did a happy dance around the kitchen.

My jaw throbbed from the movement, but at that moment, my desire for payback overrode everything else.

In all our years of friendship, I had never seen Mikey so excited.

Pushing aside a dark curl from his gorgeous blue eyes, he continued, “What an adrenaline rush! I can’t wait to see what happens when the monster gets home.” Mikey’s obvious delight had me buzzing with excitement as well.

“Oh yes! I’m turning on the security app,” I screeched, speaking louder than I meant to. I grabbed my phone from Mikey’s well-manicured hand. “Let’s see what’s going on. Barry always leaves lights on, so we should get a clear view.”

The house appeared still, but I could hear an unidentifiable clicking sound. Were those the bugs climbing the curtains? I suppressed a smile through my gated mouth.

Barry usually returned from his poker game around 11 P.M. , so we prepared to settle in for the next two hours.

I poured Mikey a generous glass of his favorite Austin Hope Cabernet, from which I planned to steal tiny sips through my wired jaw.

We sat down on the bar stools around the kitchen island and began peering into the phone’s screen, looking for human movement as we turned up my phone volume and added more interior lights.

“Can you hear that? Or am I imagining things?” I whispered, trying to quiet my pulse that surged in anticipation.

“Yes. We’re safe here, Holly. You don’t have to whisper.

” Mikey laughed. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.

A waft of his delicious cologne reached my nostrils.

His scent always calmed me somehow. It was both reassuring and promise-filled, as if everything was going to be okay, even when it wasn’t.

A faint chirping sound on the video emanated from some corner of the room.

“Three thousand crickets should be enough to drive him crazy. I can’t wait to see what happens when he sees the rats and snakes,” I said, my heart racing as I bounced in my seat in rhythm with the drumming of my heart. Jubilation mixed with a big dose of vindication overcame my senses.

For a second, I thought I might faint, so I focused on Mikey’s chatter about his latest crush, a handsome man named David, who was a celebrity personal assistant for an aging film star known for her excessive drug use.

Unfortunately, David’s work schedule often interfered with their dating plans, and Mikey wanted advice.

“Should I tell him that I love him, but he needs to get a new job? Should I keep him as a fuck buddy, or maybe I should marry him, and he can be my trophy wife? Well, what do you think?” he pressed me impatiently.

This is what I loved most about Mikey. He was fun-loving, zany, rarely serious, adventurous, and very intense.

“I can’t help you there, Mikey,” I told him, poking a straw into his wine glass and slurping up the last drop.

The red liquid soothed my pulsating jaw.

“Having never met David and knowing your propensity for flirting and playing the field, I’m not sure any of these options make sense right now.

Why don’t you bring him down here for a weekend, and we can hang out and see if he’s a fit for our family?

” I suggested this with as much sisterly warmth as I could muster.

As I got up to pour Mikey another glass of wine, he picked up the phone and immediately began yelling. “Oh my God, oh my God! Holly! Holly, look at this!”

A long slick reptile swished across the screen. Another big black slithering snake gracefully slid down the wall toward the front door.

Two more snakes joined the first, each weaving its tail along the walls. One landed on the high-end lightly stained, beige travertine floor as it headed toward the kitchen.

And then, several rats scurried past the snake on the floor to get out of harm’s way. One snake took off after them at lightning speed. It was like watching a televised nature show. Only this was happening in the place I once lived. My mouth filled with bile at the thought.

Suddenly things sprung to the next level.

Snakes slithered after the rats running rampant in every direction possible.

It was a full-blown scene straight out of a segment on National Geographic TV!

The evil part of my mind began worrying that the snakes and rats would finish their show and disappear before Barry got home.

I furrowed my brow, lifting my fingers to my mouth to bite my nails, then realized I couldn’t open my mouth wide enough. I wanted to spit fire.

As if the Goddess of Karma herself heard my concern, the front door opened. And there he was, Mr. Barry Tavers, phone in his left hand, keys in his right, oblivious to the depths of hell he was about to step into.

We held our breath as he walked over to the side table to place his keys in the Murano millefiori glass bowl. The keys dropped with a ping against the glass as Barry suddenly froze, both hands raised slightly at his sides.

The crickets! As if on cue, they decided to begin singing in unison, offering a spontaneous chorus of chirping. One of the snakes slithered across the top of his loafer. Jumping back in panic, he screamed.

“Fuck! What the fuck is this?”

Mikey held his sides, kicking his head back as he howled with laughter.

My stomach did a gleeful backflip as Barry hopped from one foot to the other, shuddering and shrieking as if he were being eaten by a crocodile.

It looked like he might pee his pants any second.

I joined Mikey in laughter as we did another high five.

The video was too dark to see his exact facial expression, but the snakes that crossed his path were clearly visible. A donut-sized rat scampered underneath the wraparound sectional sofa.

Barry stood paralyzed in the foyer. I could almost hear his brain trying to process what was happening when three more rats came scurrying from the kitchen toward the front door. Unfortunately for the rats, a snake managed to make a snack out of one of them.

With a rapid movement, Barry grabbed the keys from the glass bowl. “Jesus fucking Christ!”

His shout echoed down the hallway as he ran with legs spread wide out to the front door.

“I declare this mission successful and complete!” Mikey announced as he wrapped me in a warm brotherly hug. I sank into his arms, exhaling more deeply than I had in weeks.

Revenge was a dish best served with creepy-crawlies. Little did I know then that one day my revenge would take on even more dire proportions.