Page 59 of The Love Thief
Breaking with tradition never felt so good.
Jackson and I were snuggled up under the white, fluffy comforter in our cozy hotel room across the street from our wedding site.
The warmth of his body and his gentle breathing filled me with a sense of joy, as if I was wrapped in a cocoon of love and safety.
I smiled as I tried to give this feeling a name.
Yes . . . it was sukha and, yes, it was santosha.
I was happy and joyful, totally content, and it was also something more . . . a sense of destiny, a feeling of “meant-to-be-ness.”
With the bright morning light seeping in through the bamboo blinds and the gentle sound of emerald green and turquoise waves lapping the shore, I felt the certainty of this magical day.
Whoever said the bride and groom should be apart the night before the wedding was completely lacking in romance and imagination.
We had splurged on a suite with a large wooden deck and a totally unnecessary fireplace. The furniture was beachy kitsch, but we didn’t care. This was our little slice of heaven on earth for a couple of nights. Besides, we had already been living together for a few months.
Just before 7 A.M. , Jackson woke up smiling and cheerful when he announced, “Did you know, my soon-to-be Mrs. Turner, that according to ancient mythology, a wedding day that begins with lovemaking is destined to bless the bride and groom with happiness for eternity?”
“Yes, of course, my soon-to-be husband, everyone knows that,” I teased as I rolled over on top of him. “And did you know that it’s a good omen to make the bride as happy as you would like to be?”
“I plan to devote the rest of my life to making you the happiest woman alive,” he said and proceeded to do exactly that.
Our wedding was scheduled to begin at 11 A.M. in a postage-stamp-sized park affectionately known as the Wedding Bowl.
Tucked several feet behind the street that ran along the La Jolla shoreline, it was a circular patch of grass surrounded by an array of palm trees and pretty succulents.
These provided a sense of intimacy and privacy.
The theme of our wedding was “Super Casual, Love, and Happiness,” meaning no dress code for our small group of thirty-three friends and family.
I found a pretty ankle-length white satin slip dress.
And Maya, whom I had naturally asked to be my maid of honor, bought me a stunning 22-karat gold and pearl choker.
Jackson decided to wear a white linen suit with his favorite baby-blue knit T-shirt underneath.
We both wanted to wear our most comfy flip-flops.
When I had told Deepak about the upcoming wedding, he uncharacteristically invited himself. “I need to book a visit to Michigan to see my kids,” he said cheerily, “and I’ve always wanted to see San Diego. Do you have room for one more guest?”
My heart just about exploded with joy when I realized I had been harboring a fantasy. “Okay, Deepak, I’ll make you a deal: you can attend my wedding, but only if you will walk me down the aisle.”
“Oh, Holly, I would be so deeply honored,” and I swear I heard him sniffle as I began balling my eyes out. I may have grown up without a dad and had my heart shattered by a love thief, but now I had my own personal Love Walla, someone who had shown and taught me what real love is.
With Deepak, I found what it was like to have a real, mature man love, care for, and nurture me.
Yes, he was a father figure, and even better, he was my friend.
I marveled about how fortunate I was to have manifested two incredibly loving, trustable men like Deepak and Jackson.
In a strange way, I came to realize that without having suffered through Barry’s betrayal, I would have never ended up here, on my wedding day, happier than I ever thought possible.
Deepak and I stood arm-in-arm at the top of the entrance to the Wedding Bowl.
Jackson was standing beneath our gorgeous floral wedding arch, big turquoise waves cresting just behind him.
His two kids, Sam and Zoe, were positioned one on each side of their dad, holding his hands.
And our guests were now standing on both sides of a sloping pathway strewn with rose petals, waiting for the processional music to begin.
Taking in the small gathering of smiling faces below, my eyes landed on Mom.
She looked happier than I’d seen her in a very long time and somehow younger and more beautiful, too.
I looked back at Deepak and realized that the two of them were locked in a gaze, probably in their shared love for me, but maybe it was something more?
I drew in a deep breath as if trying to physically make space inside me to contain the big emotions of this moment.
I was beginning to feel as if I had entered an otherworldly state.
Part of me was floating above it all, looking down and noticing the sea breeze moving through.
I was intensely aware of the sounds of the ocean mixed with the music of the harpist, who was gently plucking the strings and playing a heavenly angelic tune.
My heart felt like it was beating in a rhythm of a conga drum.
Deepak whispered in my ear. “It’s time.”
This wise, compassionate man had become the father figure I’d always dreamed of. This moment felt so right, so perfect.
Then, we were suddenly walking down the aisle as if in slow motion.
The smile on my face was so big it nearly hurt.
I could see all of those beautiful eyes of my most precious friends and family staring at me, lavishing me with their affection, and I was experiencing a tsunami of love.
And then I found myself standing next to Jackson, my soon-to-be husband, who whispered to me sweetly, “Holly, you have never looked more beautiful.”
At that moment, Mikey took over his role of official wedding emcee.
“Welcome, everyone,” Mikey began with his signature radiant smile.
“I’m Michael Watt, better known to most of you as Mikey, one of Holly’s oldest friends and certainly her biggest fan.
We are all blessed to be here today in the presence of love, the love of Jackson and Holly, and our love for them.
We are thrilled to stand as witnesses to the vows they will soon make to each other.
“Before we officially begin, I’d like to invite Jackson’s son and daughter, Sam and Zoe, to recite a Dr. Seuss–inspired tribute to our bride and groom.”
Jackson’s two children looked both a little nervous and a little giddy as they stood in front of the wedding guests. Then Jackson’s son, Sam, holding a piece of paper, looked up at us and said, “Dad, Holly, we love you so much, and we want to say . . .
Dad and Holly, congratulations on this most special day, as you stand before us committing to love each other all the way. And Holly, we must say, we are super thrilled to have you as our amazing bonus Mom.
Today is the day when you share these sacred vows: You will choose to love each other rich ,
You will love each other poor ,
You’ll even love each other when someone starts to snore!
You will love each other on good days and bad
’Cause you are now soulmates and the best friends you’ve ever had. You love each other with all your heart.
You’ll love each other till death do you part.
And you will even choose to love each other when someone farts.
We wish you a life full of wedded bliss, filled with love, laughter, and happiness, sealed with a tender kiss.
May your love be like a fire, burning bright and strong and may it light up your lives for an eternity long.
Mikey gave both kids a hug and again addressed the wedding guests. “I will now turn the ceremony over to our very special guest and officiant, a holy woman from Rishikesh, India, Sadhvi Bhagawati Saraswati,” Mikey said, bowing in a namaste to Sadhviji.
Sadhviji, looking radiant in her orange holy woman robes, began by asking us to turn and face each other and to hold hands. I handed my bouquet to Maya and clasped the hands of my amazing hero: the man who had proven to me that real love is possible.
“You stand together, here today, at the beautiful intersection of the ocean and the sky and the earth and heaven and that which is beneath us, supporting us, holding us, nurturing us and that which provides us, enlivens us, and surrounds us.
As you stand here, you come together not just as two individual souls but as two expressions of one soul, as two reflections and the manifestation of love, itself.
“You are two wholes, recognizing in each other, Oneness. In marriage, as in life, there are challenges, and there are opportunities. It’s up to us how we want to face and embody these.
There will be issues of egos and the opportunity to overcome them, remembering in every moment, regardless of the challenge, you always have the choice to pick love.
“You always have the power to choose peace. You have free will, and it’s up to you.
You can choose to be right according to your particular ego drama, or you can choose love.
In the Indian Hindu tradition, the householder life, the time of being married, having children, having a career, is the time in which we see God and get closer to God through marriage.
“I know that both of you have come to this day on your separate spiritual paths and practices. Now it’s time to recognize and know your marriage is a single vessel, beginning on a lifetime voyage.
“Your spiritual practice and your marriage are not separate; your marriage is the path through which you will expand and blossom and grow spiritually. Can you see the divine in each other? Right now, look into each other’s eyes, and instead of just seeing Holly and Jackson, keep looking.
What else can you see?” She paused for a moment.
“What you see is the depths of each other. The joy, the sadness, the fear, and the beauty . . . keep looking until you see yourself in each other’s eyes. Look until the spirit of you sees itself in each other.
“Keep looking. When you recognize yourself in each other, keep looking and allow in that recognition the individual looker, the individual watcher, and the one that is being watched, allow those distinctions to disappear, to melt away.
Until there is no Holly. There is no Jackson.
There is just the soul. Just divinity. Just God. There is just Love.
“Allow your union to be your vessel, to be your path to realize that your marriage is a way to experience God in your own self through another being. And together you are being, melting, emerging, and expanding into Love.
“Every day when you wake up, choose love, choose your marriage, choose each other and choose to walk toward God through and with each other.”
With Sadhviji’s guidance, Jackson and I exchanged vows and rings, and then she proclaimed us husband and wife. She turned to Jackson.
“You may now kiss your bride.”
Jackson took my face in his hands and kissed me gently but deeply as I wrapped my arms around his waist. I was lost in the blissful moment until suddenly I became aware of everyone yelling “Look! Look! Look up!”
Jackson began laughing as he turned me toward the ocean and tilted my head up, and said, “One last surprise for our special day, my darling Holly. I will love you until the end of time.”
Flying overhead was a bright yellow, single-engine biplane towing a banner that read, “Holly and Jackson Forever.”
I marveled at the journey I had taken to be standing here in the arms of this loving man.
In spite of (or maybe because of) having my heart broken and my dreams crushed, through the healing power of love, and the wisdom of loving guides, I stood before the altar and on the precipice of a new life with an overwhelming sense of peace. My forever had finally begun.