Page 3 of The Long Refrain (Sweet Southern #4)

3

BENJI

OCTOBER 2026

P ain shoots through my entire body when I roll over on the heavenly hotel bed. I feel like I ran a marathon, then promptly got into a fight with a werewolf right after crossing the finish line. My body is beat to shit after just one and a half days with Nolan Hastings. Turning my head slowly to the side, my gaze lands on the sleeping man beside me. After fucking into the early morning, it must be afternoon now if the light streaming through the windows is anything to go by.

We’d slept until noon yesterday, fucked all throughout the afternoon, then Nolan had disappeared down the hall into another bedroom in a fit of irritation, before returning to me in the evening to fuck some more. He’d smelled like cigarettes and felt like rage personified. Three orgasms later, he was pliant under my hands, and willing to take another long bath together. Maybe that’s the trick to Nolan Hastings, fuck him until he gives me what I need . And what I need is to take care of him because fucking nonstop isn’t really my scene.

I slowly lift my arm to press at the crook of my neck where the bite from the first night still tingles. After that initial bite, Nolan had spent less time biting, and more time seemingly accepting what we were doing for the weekend. The man is covered in tattoos from tip to toe, but I already knew that from all the magazine covers I’ve seen him grace over the years. I don’t remember him being so thin though. His ribs stick out as he breathes softly, the sheet just barely covering his bare ass.

A Grim Reaper tattoo covers the entire expanse of his back. Beautiful brightly colored flowers cover his ribs, looking like they’re wrapped around his bones, blooming to life as he breathes.

I’d expected a lot of things this weekend, but all expectations fell short of the actual Nolan. He’s terrifyingly quiet and watches me like a hawk inside and outside of the bedroom. Yesterday afternoon I’d shaved and he’d watched me from the bed, eyebrows furrowed, fingers slowly tightening and releasing the messy sheets underneath him. Once I’d returned to the bed, he’d goaded me into fucking him again, on our knees as usual. We’ve fucked ten times by now, and still, he doesn’t let me touch his cock. But each time he comes untouched with a small, pained gasp as if the action hurts him.

Nolan rolls onto his side, facing me on the bed. Lips parted in his sleep, he murmurs something that I can’t understand. His words sound slurred in his sleep, making it hard for me to parse the words. After a few quiet seconds, a clear, pained, and terrified no floats from his lips. His arm comes up to protect his face from his dream just in time for another clear no to escape him.

“Nolan,” I whisper softly, gently touching his bicep.

Nolan gasps and sits up in the bed, eyes wild and terrified. His chest heaves with gasps as he tries to gulp in air. When he notices I’m watching, he squeezes his eyes shut tight against whatever look I must have on my face.

“Make yourself useful and order food,” Nolan orders quietly, no bite in his voice. His fingers come up to rub at his temples.

“Okay,” I say softly.

Nolan flops back against the bed with a giant huff, fingers still working at his temples as if he can massage out whatever dream woke him so abruptly. I take my time ordering us a late breakfast considering it’s earlier than I’d initially thought. We’d only gotten five hours of sleep. I’m exhausted from the weird hours, but Nolan seems to be used to them. Rockstars, I guess.

The shower turns on just as I finish placing our breakfast order. Steam fills the air of the bathroom as I gently push the door open. Nolan’s just about to step into the shower, but he casts an odd look at me over his shoulder.

“Up for one more round?” Nolan asks, a dangerous smirk lifting up the corner of his mouth.

“Aren’t you tired?” I ask because honestly, I’m exhausted.

Nolan rolls his eyes and steps into the large shower. The overhead waterfall showerhead pours down over him. Tipping his head back, he runs his hands through his drenched hair, causing a cascade of water to sluice down his body in gushing rivers. Once he’s fully soaked, he takes a step back to lean against the cold tile. Crooking one finger, he beckons me closer, eyes void of any emotion.

“I’ve got to get my money's worth. Get in here, stud.”

My nose wrinkles in distaste at the nickname. Gross. But my cock hardens and I join him in the shower regardless. His dark chuckle reverberates around us. His hair is somehow even more inky when wet, eyes so black that they look perpetually rimmed with eyeliner. The skeleton hand tattoos around his neck also oddly do it for me, as if the bones are a guide for where I should place my own hands. Unable to resist, I do it now, laying my fingers over the inked skeleton's hands teasingly choking him.

His eyes flash at my touch. “Wanna choke me?”

I swallow loudly. “Never seriously done that before.”

Nolan hooks his leg around my hip, tugging me closer until our cocks are lined up. A hiss escapes me and Nolan grins so widely that I can almost see his molars.

“I can teach you, stud,” Nolan murmurs before wrapping his thin fingers around my wrists. He pulls my hands harder against his body until the pressure feels like too much against my freckled skin. “Tighten your fingers.”

I do as he says, but hold back just a little, slightly terrified at the idea of accidentally killing one of the world's biggest rockstars because I downplayed my own strength. His pulse beats harder against my palms as his mouth parts on a silent gasp. Looking down between us, I notice his cock hardening even further at my touch, the angry red tip leaking pre-cum in the humidity of the shower. I wish he’d let me touch his cock. I want to swallow him whole, bring him pleasure just with my mouth.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Nolan asks, voice strained from the pressure I’m applying to his throat.

My eyes flit back to his heated gaze, mouth dry with want. “Let me suck you.”

Nolan’s eyes flash again. “Make me.”

I squeeze his throat tighter, until the air whistles when he breathes in through his nose. Pressing him harder against the wall, time goes syrupy-slow. “I’m going to suck you off, and you’re going to come down my throat. And you’re going to like it.”

Letting one of my hands drop from his neck, I move the other around to the front to splay my fingers around the center of that damned tattoo that’s slowly driving me insane. The tiles are cold against my knees, but the quick drop is worth it when I look up at Nolan to find him staring down at me with wide, worried eyes. I squeeze my fingers tightly around his throat, arm stretched as far as it can go to keep my grip on him. Without further hesitation, I suck his cock to the back of my throat, swallowing around the perfect taste of him exploding on my tongue.

His fingers tangle roughly in my hair, keeping my face buried in his groin. When I lift my gaze back to him, his head is tilted back against the tiles, eyes squeezed shut to blot out the sight of me on my knees for him. Slowly lifting off his cock, I use my other hand to steady him at his base so that I can lick around the sensitive head. His knees tremble, so I suck him back down before he can collapse to the floor. Three good sucks and a hard throat squeeze later, he comes quietly down my throat. I swallow every single drop, then slither back up to stand toe to toe with him.

Nolan’s eyes slowly blink open as if just realizing this wasn’t all a dream. I dip down to kiss him softly, carefully coaxing him to open up for me so that I can share the taste of him on my tongue. He moans softly before pulling away with an annoyed grunt.

“Happy now?” Nolan asks with a snarl. He pushes me away so that he can grab at the body wash in the corner of the shower. I can’t help but notice that his hands tremble as he squeezes soap onto a loofah, then angrily spreads it over his body to wash himself clean. The man makes no sense, running more hot and cold than the bad water heater at my mom’s house.

“I’d be happier if you sucked my dick too.”

Nolan’s annoyed gaze dips to my neglected cock. “It’ll be my parting gift.”

“Blue balls?” I ask incredulously with a laugh.

“Sure,” Nolan replies with a lazy shrug.

I try to keep my gaze off Nolan as he finishes up his shower, stepping out before I’ve finished washing my hair. The steam distorts the shape of his body through the foggy glass door, but it’s easy to watch the shape of him. He dries off carefully, then hangs the towel on the bar with a gentle tug to ensure it lies correctly. He leaves the bathroom without a single glance in the mirror and for some reason that makes me feel something I can’t explain.

Once I’m finished, dried, and dressed in sweatpants, I find Nolan in the living room of the penthouse with the breakfast I’d ordered spread across the table. He’s slowly munching at a strawberry when his eyes flick over to me.

“You ordered enough food for an army,” Nolan points out, sounding slightly annoyed.

I shrug as I toss myself in the chair opposite him. “Didn’t know what you liked.”

Nolan smirks as he licks bright crimson strawberry juice off his palm. “You’ll learn.”

I dive into the fancy-as-hell omelet on my plate with gusto because I’m fucking starved. In just a few inhales I’m done, so I move on to the fluffy French toast. Nolan leans back in his chair, appraising me as I gobble down my food like I haven’t eaten in weeks.

“I’ll have Chris reach out to you in a few more months for another weekend. It’ll probably be in Los Angeles by then since I’ll be recording the next album before going on the world tour at the end of next year.”

“You like it?” I ask with a mouthful of French toast.

Nolan skewers me with a confused look. “Like what?”

“Performing? Making music?”

“No, and yes,” Nolan answers as he bites into another strawberry.

“See you in a few months, I guess.”

Nolan slowly licks his fingers clean of all evidence of the strawberry before speaking. “Give my love to Trevor. I’ll contract with you going forward. And remember you signed an NDA.”

I roll my eyes. “Kind of hard to forget. I don’t have much, but I don’t want to lose what I do have from breaching a contract I’m required to sign to fuck a rockstar.”

Nolan pushes away from the table with a bitter laugh. He surprises me by coming around the table to kiss me hard and deep, tongue dipping into my mouth.

When he pulls away, he roughly slaps my cheek with a cruel smile. “You taste like breakfast. Now fuck off.”

He disappears towards the large suite we’ve spent almost two days desecrating. A second later my packed duffel bag is thrown out of the bedroom. The door slam echoes through the quiet penthouse, setting my teeth on edge. What a fucking brat.

One annoying flight and a long rideshare later, I arrive back at headquarters. It’s early Sunday evening, so I don’t expect many people to be hanging around. I probably should’ve gone straight to my own apartment, but I oddly felt like trying my hand at seeing who I could bother.

Lucky me, Eli is lying on the couch, reading some thick book that’s probably required for one of his classes.

“Sup, bestie?” I ask, tossing myself on the other end of the couch.

Eli drops the book to his chest with a sweet smile. “So?”

I shrug helplessly. “He said he’s canceling the ongoing contract with Trevor and wants to see me again in a few months.”

Eli arches one eyebrow in surprise. “Oh?”

“He’s a piece of work, for sure. I think I can handle him though.”

“That’s a different tune than you were singing a few days ago,” Eli deftly points out. He’s irritatingly right.

Before meeting Nolan I’d assumed it would be one huge failure of a weekend. But now I’m intrigued by the bitter man. He sets me off-kilter, makes me feel like my body isn’t my own, in a way that doesn’t terrify me.

“He’s the weirdest fuck I’ve ever had.”

Eli hums thoughtfully. “You sound like Trevor. Although, I’m not sure Trevor actually liked being with Nolan. You know how Trevor is.”

I grunt in agreement. “Well, he’s my client now. Pays a shit ton. I might take a few weeks off and travel somewhere. If Claire will let me.”

“Somewhere sunny, I presume?”

I grin widely at him. “Of course, maybe Costa Rica. We’ll see. What are you up to today?”

Eli sighs loudly. “Schoolwork. Jackson is gone for a week with a client. Trevor disappeared somewhere but Claire is keeping her mouth shut about it.”

“It’s odd,” I point out, slightly concerned for Trevor. He’s the most reliable of all of us.

“I’m not too worried. If it was bad, Claire would tell us. Send me pictures wherever you end up. And buy me a?—”

“Magnet,” I interrupt him with a grin.

Eli grins back with a small laugh and a flush staining his cheeks. I stand from the sofa, and lean over to tenderly kiss his warm cheek. Grabbing my duffel bag, I head towards Claire’s office, pleased to find Davis gone for the day and Claire sitting quietly at her desk.

She perks up at the sight of me. “I just got an email asking for an exclusive contract between you and Nolan.”

“What’s that mean?”

Claire all out grins. “It means, he doesn’t want any other boyfriend but you for the foreseeable future. He never even did that with Trevor. Look at you, nailing down Nolan Hastings with your wily ways.”

“Say that ten times fast,” I dare her.

Claire rolls her eyes. “Are you good with an exclusive contract?”

“Yeah, sure. By the way, I want to take a vacation. Disappear somewhere for a few weeks. All good?”

Claire clicks through the computer with deep concentration. “Yeah, it’s fine. Chris estimated Nolan will want you again early next year.”

“He told me.”

Claire blinks slowly as she swings her gaze back to me. “Told you what?”

“Nolan told me before I left.”

“Nolan told you?”

I tap the side of my head with a smirk. “Are you alright, boss lady? You’re just repeating what I say.”

“I’m fine,” Claire says slowly, her gaze sweeping over me. “Are you fine?”

I pause slightly. “Yes?”

Claire makes a disbelieving sound, then returns to her computer. “Alright, I’ll email you the contract for you to sign digitally. It’s double your normal rate, by the way.”

Double my normal rate? Jesus Christ. This means I can be choosier about the clients I do take since I’ll be making so much with Nolan. More vacations. More surfing, more sand, more absolute quiet instead of the grind of the city. Perfect.

“I’ll sign it. Now I’m going to go home and sleep off my sex hangover. Nolan is insatiable.”

Claire’s tinkling laughter follows me out of HQ. Once I’m showered and dressed in pajamas, I curl up into a tight ball in my bed with my phone cupped in my palms to sign the Nolan contract. Sleep claims me moments after signing on the dotted line.