Page 19 of The Long Refrain (Sweet Southern #4)

NOLAN

Three Years Later

B enji is sound asleep beside me. Sometimes, I still get caught up in staring at him as he sleeps. Just the very fact I’m lucky enough to call him mine is an astonishing fact that I’ll never fucking take for granted.

A small snore escapes Benji just before he rolls over onto his stomach. The little hand-scrawled just us tattoo on his rib cage still makes my lips twitch in a hesitant smile because a full-blown grin is trying so badly to break loose. Just us. Ironically my matching tattoo is on the only piece of bare skin we’d been able to find, on my ass, of course.

Izzy shakes out her fur and paws her way up the bed toward me, all puppy eyes despite being five years old. After giving her a few good morning scratches, I climb out of bed, tug on Benji’s hoodie, and take Izzy outside for her morning run.

Early spring in Florida is still my favorite. The air has just a slight chill to it as I step onto the raised back porch to let Izzy out. As predicted, she runs out into the expansive backyard and does a million loops before doing her business. I lean against the porch railing to look out at the river.

Sometimes I still can’t believe this life with Benji is mine. Lifting my hand, I rub at my throat as the emotions I spent so many years pushing down rise to the surface. Letting myself feel things is somehow still foreign, even after so many years of therapy. Gets better each year, but still a shock to the system to feel the urge to cry and not push the tears down.

Izzy barks her happy little bark that she only ever aims at Benji. Turning my head, I grin brightly when I notice a sleepy Benji walking out to join us. His eyes are squinted from the early morning sun and he’s so beautiful my heart aches with it. I reach out to grab his wrist and tug him close.

“Morning,” Benji grunts before kissing the corner of my eye.

“Morning, stud.”

Benji grumbles again before spinning me around to face the river and pressing his naked chest against my back. He wraps his arms around me to tuck his face into the crook of my neck with a satisfied hum. My body goes liquid and soft at his touch as always.

“Good sunrise,” I point out.

Benji hums again. “Love you.”

“Of course.”

Benji bites my neck and grips my hips tight. “And?”

I fight a smile as I reach down to pat Izzy, who jumps at our legs. She's not the dog we imagined getting, but I’ll take our rescued border collie over any other dog, any day. She’s the perfect girl. She travels with us, knows when I need love, and is basically the dog version of Benji.

“Wanna take a trip?”

Benji pauses with his hands over my stomach before pressing even closer. I can practically feel his smile against my neck. “Finished the new album, did you?”

“Nope.”

I get why he’d think that, though. Usually we celebrate a new album with a fun trip, just us, always just us. But I think maybe it’s time for a different kind of trip. I spin around in the cage of Benji’s arms and kiss his cheek when he’s grumpy at the cuddle change. He’s somehow even clingier all these years later.

“I’m thinking somewhere to see the northern lights. You’ve never seen them, right?”

Benji’s smile is so warm it melts me to my bones. “Yeah, angel. Another one just for us.”

Another thing we like to do is go places or see things neither of us has ever done. We are joint explorers, as Benji likes to call us.

Reaching up, I trace his eyebrows and nose, then lean forward to give him a soft good morning kiss. As usual, the kiss goes from good morning to oh hello to uh-oh, let’s get inside , but I pull away because I’m not ready for that, yet.

“Think you can get a few weeks away from the restaurant?” I ask coyly, looking at Benji from under my eyelashes.

Benji chuckles and pushes closer until our bodies line up. “Let me see if the owner will allow it.”

“And?”

“He allows it,” Benji murmurs with a laugh.

A year ago, he’d bought into the restaurant he and Joey co-run at the farm. A little piece of paradise for us both had been found in Clay Springs. A beautiful little life. Every day is my happily ever after since I spent so many years expecting to die. But I kind of want to give Benji a permanent happily ever after.

“Marry me.”

It’s a statement, not a question. I watch as the orange and pink from the sunrise play over Benji’s face. Watch as his eyes go from surprised to ecstatic to full of love.

“Are you asking or telling me, angel?”

“Telling,” I whisper just before leaning close to kiss him again. His fingers tangle in my hair to tilt my head at the exact angle he wants.

After a few minutes of kissing, he pulls away to leave me breathless and wanting, which is pretty standard nowadays. His smile is so big that I see a million stars in his gaze. He swipes his thumb along my bottom lip, then laughs softly.

“I’ll marry you every day if you want. Tell me when and where, whatever you want, angel.”

“Marry me every day for forever?” I ask, my heart still somehow in my chest despite pounding away.

“As long as you’ll marry me back,” Benji argues.

I wrinkle my nose. “I don’t think there are one-sided marriages.”

Benji looks so fucking excited as he pulls away. “Let’s go to the courthouse and do it now. Then you can sweep me away somewhere, all romantic-like, know how much you love that.”

“If you tell anyone it was my idea, I’ll kill you.”

Benji’s laughter is the last thing I hear before he tugs me inside and smothers me with his love.