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“Well, the daycare center called a meeting once they got served. All of a sudden, they wanted to work things out.” She rolled her eyes.

“So, all of us went in there for this meeting, right? They told my Aunt that I could sit outside in the lobby, and she said no way. I was sittin’ right there.

The teacher in question wasn’t there—conveniently.

The excuse made was that she had to drop her son off for football camp, or somethin’ like that.

She was ’fraid of my aunt at this point, and that was the real reason why she wasn’t there.

So, they get to goin’ back and forth, right?

Then they offered Huni some money, but she had to promise to keep this quiet and not say anything else negative about the daycare center.

“My aunt said no. She’d only agree to drop the charges if the teacher admitted to beating me, it be in her permanent vocational record, and then she’d be fired.

That’s when I found some courage… I looked that daycare lady in the eye, and I told her, ‘Ms. Stamford beat me with a belt. She ran it under the sink first.’” Poet’s lower lip trembled ever so slightly as the words left her mouth.

“I burst open like powder keg, and rattled off every thang she ever did to me! From A to Z!

“My aunt was in tears once I got finished. You have to remember that I hadn’t told her the half of it.

I felt like… you know, if I tell the truth, maybe all of this could be over.

The folks in that room looked like ghosts once I got finished.

One teacher even walked out, like it got to her real bad.

See, I believed my aunt when she said if I speak up, I could make a world of difference, and the police would arrest her.

The meeting was called to an end, and they said they’d do an investigation.

I didn’t know what that meant, but when we got in the car, Huni was so upset.

She was yelling and crying. My uncle went to the police station, told them the extra stuff I said, and they said it was still my word against hers, and that I may have been coached. They both hit the roof.

“So, we left from there, Kage, and I remember cryin’ in the backseat of Aunt Huni’s car.

Just bawling my eyes out. I was just a baby, practically, but I understood by that time what was going on.

I had told the truth, the full story, and I still wasn’t believed.

My uncle was driving us back home, but then he made a U-turn.

I remember them fussin’ and fighting about something, but he was cussin’ in Filipino.

I wasn’t fluent in it, so I didn’t understand everything they said, but I knew that he called my teacher a ‘bitch,’ and some other stuff, too.

“He pulled up to this pretty little yellow house, made me and my aunt get out of the car.

He rang the doorbell, and low and behold, Mrs. Stamford came to the door.

She looked completely flabbergasted. My uncle played it cool, and told her that we just wanted to apologize for the allegations, and that he understood what happened now, that I was a troubled child.

He said we talked in the car, and he was going to drop the charges.

My aunt stood there not saying a word. I was so shocked at what he said, I just stood there.

Frozen. Ms. Stamford ended up smiling big and wide, and inviting us inside.

“We went in and sat down on her pretty couch, in her pretty livin’ room, with her pretty and perfect lamps, carpet and framed pictures.

Ms. Stamford was talkin’ about my troubles, how much she loved me, and forgave me.

Then she had the nerve to pick up her Bible and read from it.

To this day, I remember it… Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.””

Poet sighed as the memories assailed her.

She began twisting and pulling on a handful of grass, until she’d yanked it all from the earth.

“She then asked if it was okay if I had some cookies and lemonade she’d just made.

I couldn’t believe it, Kage! It was like being stuck in some nightmare.

My uncle said yes, and she came back with the lemonade pitcher, a plate of cookies, a lemon and a knife on a tray.

“She set it down on this decorative table, and started slicing up a lemon right in front of us. She squeezed the juice in the pitcher, looking at me practically the entire time. I remember feeling like cryin’, but I didn’t.

When life gives you lemons… My uncle started asking her questions about the day I got whipped, sayin’ he was going to get me a therapist, so he needed to know.

She lied. Deferred. The typical stuff. I then realized that my uncle was up to something.

” She laughed dismally. “Whatever plan he had, it didn’t work.

She ain’t fall for it. He must’ve been watching too many detective shows.

Then, we got up to leave. We started headin’ towards the door, and she said, ‘It must be hard raising a Black child when you don’t understand her, or how to take care of her.

I bet poor Poet would not have had these problems if she had a Black family to raise her, Mr. and Mrs. Bacunawa, but I’m sure you’re doing the best you can.

Black children can be difficult. They’re not as bright or self-aware, and they’re just naturally unruly.

Not well mannered like you Asians. It’s noble what you’ve done, but she really can’t help herself.

That’s the reason why I’m against cross-racial adoptions. ’

“Aunt Huni spun around and started cursin’ this woman up one side, and down the other.

She raised her hand to smack her, but my uncle tried to hold her back.

Mrs. Stamford clutched her necklace as if in shock…

It was all an act. I saw the slight smirk on her face when she thought no one was looking.

“That’s when I snapped. I cracked.” She turned away, and thought about her options.

She could see Kage staring at her from the corner of her eye.

I can stop right here… I can tell him I don’t want to discuss this any further.

If I do that though, then I’m not standing completely in my truth. I have one foot in and one foot out.

She took a deep breath, and continued.

“She was verbally attacking my Aunt Huni and laughing at her; that was the final straw. During all of the commotion, I ran back to that tray, the one with the lemonade and cookies, picked up the knife… and I… I stabbed Mrs. Stamford in the back! Over and over again!” The words felt strange leaving her mouth, as if someone else was talking.

Kage’s expression remained impassive. “It took both Huni and my uncle to get me off of her. There was blood everywhere. I was slippin’ and slidin’ in it!

The walls. The floor. Me. Mrs. Stamford lay there on the floor, gurgling and shakin’.

And then, she stopped moving.” A tear streamed down her cheek as Hozier’s, ‘To Be Alone’ punctuated the moment.

“Everything after that was a blur… Police sirens, the ambulance, Mrs. Stamford’s husband came home and started wailing.

Crying out for God. She was dead. I just knew it.

My Aunt Huni was holding me in her arms, pressing me to her bosom.

I wasn’t going to move or run anyhow. I felt cold.

Indifferent. Apathetic and uncaring. ’Cause I didn’t care.

I was unfeeling. Slothful. I’ll never forget that sensation. Feels like air, but you aren’t flying…

“The police pried me away from her. She was yelling and screaming for me as they carried me away. I killed her, Kage,” she sobbed.

“I killed somebody. You can’t erase it. You can’t take it back.

What is done is done. I can’t sew on pretty glass eyes for her, so she can see again!

I can’t stuff her with cotton and set her on display in the museum! ”

“…Baby, I understand. We’re the same.” He spoke so softly, so sweetly as he reached for her.

“No, see, you attempted to kill your grandfather, but I really went through with it! Something was wrong with me! What child does somethin’ like that, huh?

I became the savage she said I was! A monster!

I… I couldn’t believe it! It was on the news, but because I was a minor, my name was never publicized.

In court, a brave teacher from that daycare stepped forth out of the blue, in the nick of time, and said she found some disturbing pictures and videos inside Ms. Stamford’s locker after her death.

They were photos of me, and a few other children, being tormented by her.

” She swallowed. “That changed the direction of the case.

“Her husband had filed a lawsuit against my aunt and uncle for her death, but after that evidence came out of his wife being a sadomasochistic sicko who secretly hated children, especially minority children, he dropped it real fast and moved away. The other children in the photos weren’t White, either.

That’s what my aunt told me since I wasn’t allowed in the courtroom most of the time—only to testify.

That was another rough day. I had to relive it, but I got through it.

Those other kids? I didn’t know them; they were at the daycare long before me, from my understanding.

She’d been doing this for a while. Somethin’ was wrong with Mrs. Stamford… and I put a stop to it!”