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“Not at all. When I tell you I’m fuckin’ done with you, that’s what I mean.

She tried to explain herself… said that he was payin’ her attention, and I was workin’ all the time.

He was a nurse apparently, too. That’s how they met.

Ain’t that some shit?” He smirked. “The education that I paid for helped this woman cheat with another man. The irony.” He scoffed.

“Anywho, I told her I wasn’t tryna hear it.

She kept blowin’ up my phone for several weeks.

After a while, I agreed to meet her at restaurant for breakfast.

“Now, I had my own motives, and she obviously had her own, too. Two different agendas. She went into this long thing about how much she missed me, how it had only happened twice, and it was more of an emotional affair than sexual, that things had went too far… he was in the middle of a messy divorce, and she was his shoulder to cry on and all of this other bullshit. She tried to toss in there that I was better in bed, so it wasn’t about sex, it was just about attention.

As if that was supposed to somehow make me feel better.

I nodded and listened, but I was checked out.

Then I slid an envelope over to her. The divorce papers. ”

“I knew it!”

“She got to cryin’ and carryin’ on. Telling me that I was a cold, uncaring son of a bitch. That I wasn’t being fair. That I wasn’t perfect, and she made this one mistake and I was making it so hard. I explained to her that a mistake is eating up my last ice-cream bar because you forgot it was mine.

A mistake is putting bleach on my black shirt in the laundry, forgettin’ it was in the same load as the whites.

A mistake is readin’ the wrong book for an exam, or walkin’ out the house for work with your slippers still on.

No ma’am. This wasn’t no mistake. You didn’t fall and slip down on another motherfucker’s dick.

Let him take you to Pound Town. Twice. That ain’t no accident.

” He held up two fingers. “Probably happened more than that, but I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. ”

“She wanted to save her marriage, so it wouldn’t be far-fetched of her to downplay what happened, and the number of times she stepped out.”

“Exactly. I’m real funny about shit like this, Poet.

I can handle a woman sayin’ terrible things to me in a fit of rage.

I can handle the woman I love cussin’ me out because she thinks I said something unkind, or did her wrong.

Emotions happen. Women sometimes are emotional creatures, and I love that about y’all.

That’s why God made y’all the nurturers in the first place.

We’re not cut out for it. You can do a lotta shit to me, and I’ll forgive you if I love you, but you give your body and heart to another guy, then I can’t move past that.

I don’t care if it’s an emotional affair with no sex—that’s just as bad.

In the back of my mind, I’ll always see you with that other man.

I’ll never be able to trust you again. Cheating is my dealbreaker. ”

“I understand.”

“I’m sorry that you understand. I wouldn’t wish this type of understanding on anyone.”

“I don’t believe you’ve never cheated on anyone, Kage.” She put her hand on her hip.

“I’m true blue, but there was one incident.”

“I knew it!” She laughed, a sound that came out a bit forced.

“Hold on now, let me explain. I was a kid, okay? When I was sixteen, I tried to cheat on this gal I was dating, with my stupid, young, silly ass.” She boldly met his gaze.

“My lies were awful! I kept lyin’ to cover the other lies, and it was just a fuckin’ mess.

I ended up confessing everything, and she didn’t even ask when I started tellin’ her what I’d been up to.

Naw, that’s not me. I learned my lesson.

She wasn’t even my girlfriend, but I was not honest with her, and that’s what matters.

If I have to do all of that, then it’s not worth it. ”

Her lips curled.

“What are you smilin’ about this time?”

They stared at one another, then they both started laughing.

“Kage, you surprise me so, so much. It’s not funny.

Don’t take it like that. None of this is.

It’s horrible, really, but I wasn’t laughing at you; I was laughin’ at imagining you tryna keep up with a bunch of little lies.

This is what life does. We go through things, and we grow through things.

Yeah, I could see you sucking at that. You’re blunt and honest.”

He gathered her in his arms and squeezed.

“How’s your finger?”

“Much better, thanks to your magic kiss.”

He gave her a peck on the lips, then released her. “Are you almost finished? I want to see you complete that.”

He watched as she got back to work. He thoroughly enjoyed seeing the process, each step she took, how she knew exactly what she was doing.

When she was all finished, she washed her hands and dried them at his utility sink.

Her reflection in the faucet was distorted and strange, just like the rifts of the song playing at that moment.

When she was all done, she walked over to the completed bird.

He helped her place it in a soft, protective clear box.

She’d have to transport it to work come Monday.

“Thank you for takin’ the time to show me your craft. I appreciate it. It was fun to watch, and I learned a bit, if I say so myself.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled warmly at him as she fastened the box, then set it aside.

“I love that you were interested to see it.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her soft lips against his.

His body warmed to her sensual touch. “I feel strongly about you, Kage. You know that, right?” She pulled away, but kept her arms around his neck. Something was lambent in her eyes.

“Yeah, I do. I feel the same ’bout you.” He sighed, then slipped out of her embrace. Leaning against the wall, he crossed his legs. “I need to tell you somethin’. You kinda touched on it earlier.”

“Oh shit.” She bristled up.

“No, no, I can guarantee it’s not what you think, but you still deserve to know.”

“What is it, Kage? Still legally married? Kids you haven’t told me about?

You showed me a fake STI result, and actually you have an incurable sexually transmitted disease, right?

On the run from the cops? Which is it, Kage?

Gotdamnit! I knew not to listen to Aunt Huni!

I shoulda trusted my gut, instead of my heart!

You about to say some shit to have me hotter than fish grease.

Just go on and ruin everything, Kage. Be my guest! ”

She glowed with a sudden burst of rage. He was a bit shocked at this response, the way she completely lost her shit, but on some strange level, it also titillated him.

It was proof that she was falling for him, and she felt as if everything might be on the line.

To add, proof that she’d been hurt so much, and lied to so often, she anticipated him fucking up.

“Say somethin’! Tell me this big news. See, this is why I—”

“Stop talkin’, and listen. How in the fuck can you expect me to tell you what’s going on if you won’t be quiet and let me get a word in edgewise?”

She quieted down, but her chest was rising and falling fast. Her eyes were narrow and dark, her nostrils flared.

“In my teenage years, I spent a lot of time in and out of mental hospitals. There. I said it.”

Her expression turned from anger, to utter shock, to sadness in a matter of seconds.

“…Why?” she asked softly.

“Because I tried to kill my grandfather.”

She braced herself against the sink. He watched her take a deep breath, then he continued.

“I was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and PTSD when I was fourteen. My family is infamous, not necessarily famous. My grandfather is the reason for that. I tried to kill him, Poet, because I saw that he was evil…” She cocked her head to the side, as if she weren’t quite following him.

“This is complicated.” He sighed and gathered his thoughts.

“My grandfather is Cyrus Wilde. He is part of what some folks call the Southern or Dixie Mafia, but whatever you call it, he is one of the big dogs here in Texas, and he’s a real son of a bitch.

He’s dangerous. He’s conniving. He’s crazy.

He’s rich as hell, too. One of the richest men in Houston.

My mama is his daughter. That’s how she gets the majority of her money.

“He takes care of her bills because she didn’t make too many waves and cause him much trouble.

I don’t want to get into the specific details right now, but what I heard that old man do one day was the final straw.

It was so bad that I can’t forget it, even if I tried.

I ain’t have it easy, Poet, but I was raised right.

” She nodded in understanding. “My mama was a good mother, and she tried to take care of me the best way she knew how. I already explained to you that I ain’t have my daddy growin’ up, so my grandfather stepped into his vacant shoes.

That shouldn’t have happened. I saw and heard things that no child should ever see or hear, all because of him and his lifestyle. ”

He sighed. She was gazing into his soul, holding on to every word.

“I was purportedly his favorite grandchild at that time, so everything he did was intended to train me. Condition me. It was deliberate. He wanted me to be his right hand. My grandfather is religious, and warped. He believes blood and the Bible are everything. He takes the Word literally, unless it applies to him.”

“So, he’s a hypocrite.”

“Amongst other things. He wants his offspring to be in the family business, so to speak. He handpicks who he wants, folks he believes have special gifts, strength, talents, or high intelligence. I refused. Several of my other cousins refused, too, and now he’s pissed.

He is the type of man you don’t say no to without consequences.

So, after my failed murder attempt on him, he told my mama to put me away in a nuthouse, or else. ”

“Or else, what?”

He simply looked at her, his eyebrow raised.

“Are you serious?!”

“Of course, I am. He convinced my mother that I was crazy—because apparently I’d have to be, to do such a thing.

She complied, to keep me alive. Plain ’nd simple.

Problem was, I was abused and neglected in one of the hospitals.

The one I was in the longest. I was drugged up half the time, too, but I still knew what was going on around me.

I would defend some of the other patients there, and they’d beat me for it, or isolate me, or give me so much medication, I’d be doped up and out of it for days. ”

A tear rolled down her cheek. She shook her head. “I’m so sorry you endured that, Kage. How terrible.”

“Don’t cry, possum. It’s over. In the past. Yeah, I’m technically crazy, at least on paper, but at the same fuckin’ time, I’m not.

I’m not ashamed, either. It happened. Everything I’m tellin’ you is well documented in my hospital and therapy records, which I’ll show you if you feel so inclined to see ’em.

I never posed a danger to anyone but him.

I want you to understand that this isn’t me tryna make it look better than it was,” he pointed to himself, “or feed you a line of bullshit, either. We all do things to survive, darlin’. It’s part of life.”

Her face was now unreadable. The same expression she’d made when he stood in her kitchen for the first time.

“Kage, why are you tellin’ me this? You probably could’ve kept this a secret for months, maybe even years, and I wouldn’t have known a thing.”

“Because criminal charges, and times spent in a mental ward for attempted murder ain’t somethin’ you keep from a woman that you care about.

I don’t want you hearin’ it from somebody else, either.

I want you to get the story straight from the wolf’s mouth.

” She hung her head and turned away. “I’m admitting this to you because I want you in my life, Poet.

” He closed the space between them, and lifted her chin. “…I’m fallin’ in love with you.

“My time in that hospital is in the past. I’ve gone over two decades without any need for mental intervention.

’Cause wasn’t nothin’ really wrong with me in the first fuckin’ place.

I was singled out for doin’ what grown folk in my family shoulda done years before I was even born.

That man has ruined so many lives. My grandfather is still tryna cause trouble, but this is my life, and I run it how I see fit.

Not him. I like my life, and I like my life with you in it.

I come with a little baggage. Now you know the truth. ”

She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. It felt so good. He closed his eyes and squeezed her right back. Creedence Clearwater Revival crooned, ‘Fortunate Son.’ He held her cheeks with both hands, then crushed her smile with his own.

“I never did ask you where you found that blue jay?” he asked, still hugging her tight. His breath as he spoke made her curls blow and spin slightly.

“Someone found it drowned in a river.” She was trembling ever so slightly.

“The river, huh? What a shame. Poor little bird. His reflection was the last thing he probably ever saw, and his baptism was his ticket to death.…”