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“Ahh, yes. I knew that was your handiwork, you diabolical, demented bastard.” Grandpa chuckled.

“You’re clever, you know that? How’d you get out of the parking lot without being on camera?

I was gonna get the police involved and have you charged with first degree murder, until I realized that there wasn’t much evidence, and it would just clog up the courts.

I could always plant evidence, but I’d rather go a different direction with you.

Still, that option remains on the table. ”

“If you want to know my technique, I’d be happy to oblige.

But first you have to go to sleep and let me slit your throat like you had done to my Uncle Reeves.

What’s fair is fair. Eye for a damn eye, as you always like to say.

This is the final warning, Abe Simpson. You gotdamn piece of trash.

You’re sending folks to the slaughterhouse.

I don’t throw tea parties for uninvited guests, but I am known to keep the local funeral directors’ pockets piping hot, and in plenty of business. ”

“I’ve about had it with you. That land of yours is as good as gone, you soft brained, daddy long-legged, Grim Reaper,” Grandpa said in a low, menacing tone.

“I know your little hideout from the rest of the world means so much to you. A place you can disappear to and forget you are a gotdamn lunatic. You did all of that work making the place a showstopper, and now, everyone wants it. A piece of the pie. The big ponderosa. It’s prime pickin’s.

All I have to do is pay the right person to say that it was sold to you illegally, or some clause was overlooked, and your ass is out of there.

It’s already being arranged. If you want to keep your land and newly built house—it’s a real beauty by the way—you’ll honor the contract, and we can put this behind us. ”

“You know what you can do with that contract. It too , involves a behind.”

“Kage, if you won’t play ball and be a good little wolf, I will force you to cower and whimper to the point that you will beg for mercy.

Now don’t twist my arm. Are you so tall that the oxygen doesn’t flow completely to your brain, Chewbacca?

You don’t want none of this. You don’t want to go toe to toe with me. ”

“Sure, I do!” Kage chuckled. “I love a good line dance! In fact, I look forward to it, but you have all of your guards on alert, and a protection order! Guess what? If you give me just ten seconds, I promise that the second time around, I won’t tell nobody, and I won’t miss…”

“Well, isn’t this a kick in the teeth? I spared your young life by havin’ you put in a place where you could get some help instead of killing you like you deserved, and this is how you repay me?

Unlike some folks, I’m not afraid of you, Kage.

” A slight chill clung to the edges of his words.

“I know the dark parts of you. The parts you keep hidden from the world, in your little wolf den, because they make you ugly. Angry. Unhinged.”

“And I know the inside of you, down to your very brittle bones.”

“I know what you’re afraid of, tough guy.”

“Whatever you think I’m afraid of, I can guarantee that it ain’t you.”

“You wanna go to a special nuthouse, boy? Where folks control you? You can’t do shit but what they tell you to do!

You can barely even do that because you’ll have no autonomy, ’cause you’re all drugged up.

Is that what you want?! You wanna visit a place where they take care of looney tunes like you on a daily basis, twenty-four-seven?

Where are the bodies, boy?! I’ll find them, proof that you’re a gotdamn monster.

I don’t even need that though to get you locked up in a mental institution for life.

A place for folks with your kind of special needs.

You get drunk off fear and blood. You need an exorcism!

Your mama brought evil into that house, and it infected you. ”

“Didn’t you have gonorrhea last year, Gramps? I mean, there’s no shame in it, shit happens, but with you talking about infections just now and all, I—”

“You’re an unhinged killin’ machine! You’re just what I need… You and Lennox would have been unstoppable together!” Grandpa laughed. “What a damn shame! I can still run a good operation with just you though. Yes indeed.”

“Oh, don’t bring Lennox into this. Lennox has a good heart. I ain’t got no heart. I ate it for a snack, all because it beat too loud.”

Grandpa was quiet for a while. Kage grinned from ear to ear, knowing that the old man was disturbed by the words he said. Funny how the devil sometimes was sensitive about such things.

“Kage, I’m done with this conversation. You think long and hard about what is on the line.”

“How about I deliberate over it, just short and soft? Like your dick.”

“If you fuck up, the land will be gone because you’ll be institutionalized, and so will your freedom. That’s an even worse fate. You think I can’t make the unthinkable happen?! FALL. IN. LINE. SLOTH! It’s easy!”

“None of your pressure and so-called intimidation mean anything to me.”

“You’re already on record for attempted murder as a juvenile.

You used to get into physical altercations every other day, and you even had an ankle monitor in your twenties after a series of rash, violent attacks.

It won’t be a mindbender, or a stretch of the imagination needed to get you put away.

If you don’t fall in line, the land, the house and your freedom goes bye-bye.

Your ex-wife said you were stone cold crazy, last I heard.

She’d be a great character witness. No woman, if they truly knew you, would want a damn thing to do with the likes of you, and you know it, don’t you, boy? ”

He could hear the Satanic glee in Grandpa’s tone.

“Grandpa, I’ve had some challenges in my life, but I’ve never been hard up for attention or pussy.

I can leave this house right now and come home with three bad bitches, then proceed to fuck them all night long until they have to be wheeled outta here, with no blue pill needed. You’ve got the wrong motherfucker.”

“I’m not talkin’ about sex. I’m talking about love … You’re completely unlovable, incorrigible, and havin’ a big dick, big land, and big guns won’t save you, boy! Be who you ARE! Don’t be indifferent to my offer! Not caring! Sloth-like. Indifferent. Change. Change right now, Kage. Repent!”

“You sound like one of them TV preachers. The evangelists who trick poor souls into sendin’ their social security checks and rent money in, all to get a little swatch of material they call a powerful prayer cloth, when really, it was cut from an old towel they used to wash their car with.”

“It’s not from me. It’s from the Lord, Kage.

” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t take my word for it, take God’s.

It could save your life! Proverbs 19:15: ‘Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger!’ Kage, here’s another one.

Proverbs 12:27: ‘The slothful man does not roast what he took in hunting, but the precious substance of the diligent man is precious.’ You’re a hunter—that speaks directly to you !

And here’s another! Proverbs 10:4: ‘A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.’ Lastly, Proverbs 21:25: ‘The desire of the slothful kills him, for his hands refuse to toil.’ I can make you rich!

Give up your lack of concern and desire for greatness.

You’re supposed to be so much more. Give up your glibness, and join me.

I know you make a decent livin’ with your little hammer and nail business, but this would be light years better than that.

Use your God given gifts and stop fighting it, Kage!

YOU’RE A GOTDAMN ANIMAL! You were destined for this!

I made an oath to God that the blood of my seed would run this ship if He blessed me with the vessel! ”

“What vessel? Your yacht?! This isn’t Gilligan’s Island! You can’t make promises to God that we didn’t agree to, old man. I didn’t sign up for this shit. We’re not your skipper or mates, and you’re not a captain, unless you’re talking about Captain Crunch, thank you berry munch. Tha fuck?!”

“I see you’ve been around your cousin Roman lately.

He’s a bad influence, and that influence will get you hurt.

Sitting there crackin’ jokes and being silly, making fun of God’s word.

You know exactly what the fuck I mean, Kage.

Walk in your nature, be who you are! Stop acting like you don’t want this lifestyle I am offering you. It’s the chance of a lifetime.”

“I don’t want shit to do with you. And another thing—don’t you call my mama again with the intention of trying to influence her to convince me to deal with you in any capacity. She told me what you were up to, and she’s not happy about it.”

“Sarah is foolish sometimes. Look, boy. Be honest with me. How happy are you buildin’ bird houses, jackin’ off, and chasin’ geese all damn day?

I’m the answer to your prayers. I know you loved Lorna, but you’re too jaded to once more put in the work and effort that it takes to get you a new woman.

All you do is fuck. I’ve heard about you and your exploits.

I know deep down you need more than that.

You need someone in the home. A woman’s touch.

You want her back, don’t you boy? I can get her for you.

It hurts you deep inside… the one that got away. Wolves mate for life.”

“That was a long time ago, no, I don’t want ’er back, and if I did, I could do so without your help.

Most importantly, it’s none of your damn business.

It wasn’t your business when we got married, and ain’t none of your business why we split up.

You just think you know what happened between me and my ex-wife, when you clearly don’t.

” Kage sat on his bed, exhausted now that the conversation was dragging out and going places he didn’t wish to travel to.

“I know deep down that my grandson wants and needs love. That’s what you’ve always wanted.

No dad in the picture… a mama that left you to your own devices.

You had no discipline. Your father was in a gang, lived a reckless lifestyle, and some of that shit rubbed off on you.

He went and got himself killed when you were just a wee one, but it’s in your blood, your DNA, to be a loose cannon.

No matter how hard the exterior, inside of you is a hot longing to be different.

To survive and thrive. You want to settle down.

You just don’t know how to connect with people anymore.

You’re feral! You’ve convinced yourself that you don’t care, but you do. I can help you with that, son…”

“How can you help me with affairs of the heart when you’ve been married more times than I have fingers and toes?

! I’m not even including all of the affairs and side women you’ve collected like stamps.

You don’t know a damn thing about love. I’d ask Hannibal Lector for love and relationship advice before I’d ever dream of comin’ to you.

That’s like me going to a snowman to be taught how to start a bonfire. ”

Grandpa sighed. “I can make you happy or make you regret the day you were born. You think I can’t pull those strings, sloth?!”

“Well then, since you think you’ve got it like that, you go on right on ahead and pull those strings, Grandpa.

But I must warn you, you just may be in for a surprise.

Sometimes the puppet master fools himself into thinkin’ he’s in control, when actually, he’s the wooden dummy on a very short thread.

The crazy part about it though is that it’s just long enough to hang himself with… ”

And then, he ended the call…