Page 27

He sat steady in his truck for a spell, cut the engine, then slowly opened the door, gun at his side.

As soon as he did, a barrage of bullets flew in his direction.

He hit the ground, then quickly crawled to the back of his vehicle, which took the brunt of the abuse.

He heard the bullets hit the truck, some of them ricocheting.

Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out more weapons.

Two 627 revolvers. The shooting stopped, but he could hear the footsteps along the gravel…

the heavy breathing, tinged with a pinch of fear and a heaping tablespoon of doubt.

Kage lived for moments like this. His endorphins were high and mighty.

Made him damn near horny. It was time to display his blood lust, his thirst for violence, his insatiable killing nature…

allow it to pulse red hot with hatred, and shine in the light of evil.

As soon as a shadow cast by one of the men approached from the left, he hunkered down as flat as he could, and shot his foot from beneath the carriage of his truck.

“AHHHHH!!! HE SHOT MY FUCKIN’ TOE!”

Wild gunfire commenced, coming from every direction.

He shot again, and the man fell onto the gravel, a mere few feet from him.

The other—the badly injured one that he’d pummeled at the gas station—began shooting again.

By the time the fucker got to the back of his truck, the man paused, looking around in confusion.

Where in the fuck could I be? Where, oh, where is the lone wolf? Where art thee?

He heard the man reloading his gun, cursing under his breath while the other continued to groan like the pussy that he was. These motherfuckers don’t care about punishing me, or intimidating me. These motherfuckers are trying to kill me.

Kage aimed…

BANG!!! BANG!!!

He shot the second man in his ankles, forcing him down, too.

Then, he quickly rolled from beneath the hot vehicle, sweat pouring down his body like a faucet.

He grabbed the second guy’s gun as soon as he spotted it, and raced to the other son of a bitch who’d dropped his gun when he took a tumble.

Their eyes met, and the man made a desperate grasp for his firearm.

Just out of reach. He slowed, enjoying the show as he tried to reach for it over and over, a frenzy in his eyes.

His shirt and pants became covered in light dirt and dust in his efforts, but it was too late.

Kage tackled him, pinned him down with his weight, kneed him in the chest, and then secured his gun in his pocket.

He turned around and looked at the man’s feet. He lay there, bleeding.

“SNAP! SNAP!”

“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” the man wailed when Kage wrapped his hands around each ankle and broke them. One hard twist is all it takes.

Kage laughed and laughed, his entire chest warming with bursting glee. The more blood, the more pain, the better. He salivated at the sight. His belly filled with joy as he cackled, having such a good ol’ time! He made his way back to the other guy, and did the same.

SNAP! SNAP!

Their deafening shrieks and woeful cries filled the air. Their pain was palpable. Ohhh, the wailing was spectacular. A chorus of agony. An off-beat broken bone song to be sung!

“FUCK!!!!! FUCK YOU!!! GOT…DAMN IT!!!” one of them blubbered. “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS, YOU FUCKIN’ PIECE OF SHIT?! MY FUCKIN’ FOOT!!! YOU brOKE MY ANKLES! AHHHHH, IT HURTS!!!!! FUCK YOU, YOU CRAZY FUCKER!!!”

“Doesn’t much matter who your father is. I’m your daddy now.” Kage winked down at him, then smiled.

The man continued to rant and rave. Ignoring the blabbering, Kage tied their wrists up with twine—supplies he used from his job—and dragged one of them to the back of his truck, slamming him in the bed like a sack of potatoes.

Then, he did the same with the other one.

He tore off the sleeves of one of their shirts and jammed the fabric in their mouths, so hard they practically gagged.

Keep things quiet for a while. Jumping back down, he noticed that glass was all over the place from the busted windows due to the flying bullets, but damn it if all that didn’t make a lovely sound when that truck sparked right up.

I’ll get you right, girl. Nothin’ my cousin can’t fix.

But before he could turn his truck around and head out to finish what he’d started, another black SUV could be seen in the far distance…

Shit.

He could see it driving towards him from down the way.

A little black dot that grew bigger and bigger.

Figuring that his prey must’ve had a tracker, and the Blues Brothers likely informed their brethren that the rabbit now had the gun, he had to make a quick change of plans.

As he figured things out fast, he heard the faint ring of a cellphone left in the vacant SUV ahead of him.

Reaching into his glove compartment, he pulled out his lighter.

His mind sprinted as he computed the distance and timing just so.

Can I get this done in time? I gotta try!

The SUV kept moving but slowed down a bit, as if whoever was inside it was trying to assess the situation.

Kage cut his eyes to the vacant SUV. The fuel leak widened, leaving an iridescent trail on the dirt and pebbled road.

“Do you like s’mores, boys?”

Kage put his truck in reverse, creating a bigger gap between it and the parked SUV and placing himself beside a tree.

Hopping out, he went to the back of the truck and grabbed one of the sleeves he’d shoved in the guys’ mouths, exposing dry, cracked lips.

He then soaked it in some of the gasoline that he’d gotten for his riding lawnmower, being generous with the quantity.

The man started hollering again as soon as he got a chance, but Kage paid it no mind.

Seizing a branch from the tree, he broke it off with one hard yank and twisted the cloth around the branch, nice and tight.

He went over to the trail of gasoline that had leaked, then doused the branch in more gas, simultaneously extending the trail further down the line, past where his truck had been.

That deserted cell phone started ringing again.

No doubt whoever was in the encroaching vehicle was calling to see what was going on.

He ran and ran, dragging that stick in the dirt until he was a good way away—closer to the path of the incoming SUV behind him.

Then, he seized the cell phone that had been ringing on the dashboard.

After slipping it into his pocket, he ignited the branch with his lighter.

The flame danced and twirled, ready to tango and get down to business.

Kage plunged the burning torch into the fuel trail left by the first SUV, and tossed it onto the gasoline trail.

The man began to holler again, this time issuing warnings to his associates in the other SUV.

“STOP! HE’S SETTIN’ YOU UP! IT’S A TRAP! DON’T COME! NOOOOO! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER!”

It was apparent as they kept creeping forward, they couldn’t hear him.

His voice was worn and croaky, the words cracking in the middle from a dry mouth, exhaustion and pain.

The other SUV was now in clear view. Gunning for him.

Kage started to hum the 1932 classic, ‘Run, Rabbit, Run,’ by Flanagan and Allen.

Run, rabbit, run, motherfucker. Run, rabbit, run, through the maze. Run, rabbit, run, motherfucker. Run, rabbit, run, into the blaze!

The heated moment had arrived. With the wind whipping through his hair and the strong smell of gasoline permeating the air, Kage dashed like an Olympian to his truck, hopped in, and sped away.

In the distance, he watched through his rearview mirror as the fire caught with a substantial and satisfying whoosh.

The flames had come alive. He slowed down, then stopped driving and kicked his truck in park to watch the scene.

The sight gave him a thrill like no other—the show of a lifetime.

The spark sprinted along the ground like a huge, flaming centipede, wolfing down the path of petroleum with insatiable depravity and hunger.

Grandpa’s second cavalcade could do nothing to stop it.

From a shiny liquid line, it was growing by the second!

The driver of the second SUV leaned out the window, screaming something incoherent.

Pure panic and pandemonium registered on his face.

He kicked the SUV in reverse, but it was too late…

BOOM! BOOM!! BOOM!!!

The explosion was deafening, a brilliant orange and red flash that lit up the sky and turned the world around them into the fourth of July.

The first SUV was totally engulfed, and the second one’s front end lifted off the ground.

Shards of metal flew in the air like silver and black twisted confetti.

Dark smoke bellowed towards the sky like a sweltering, shadowy whisper from hell.

Grandpa’s sacrificial lambs were consumed by the holler and snarl of the lapping tongue of fire, a mouthy firestorm.

The front doors of the underworld were wide open. Satan gained new demons.

Kage stood at a safe distance, now outside his truck. He turned to check out the two men in the back of his ride. They were also watching, horror written all over their faces.

His heart swelled with immeasurable satisfaction, but his mind remained focused. He had no time to savor his victory. Bracing himself, he approached what was left of the burning chaos. Everything was gone, leaving a nasty, smoky BBQ of flesh and metal. Moments later, he was back in his truck.