Page 81
Story: The Liveship Traders Trilogy
Ronica stood in her open doorway and watched Caolwn walk off into the darkness.
A Rain Wild man shambled out from the shadows to join her.
He took the wooden casket of gold and tucked it effortlessly under his arm.
They both lifted a hand in farewell to her.
She waved in return. She knew that on the beach there would be a small boat awaiting them, and farther out in the harbour a ship that bore but a single light.
She wished them well, and hoped they would have a good journey.
And she prayed fervently to Sa that she would never stand thus and watch one of her own walk off into darkness with them.
In the darkness, Keffria tried once again. ‘Kyle?’
‘Um?’ His voice was warm and deep, sweet with satiation.
She fitted her body closely to his. Her flesh was warm where they touched, chilled to delicious goosebumps where the summer breeze from the open window flowed over them.
He smelled good, of sex and maleness, and the solid reality of his muscle and strength were a bulwark against all night fears.
Why, she demanded silently of Sa, why couldn’t it all be this simple and good?
He had come home this evening to say farewell to her, they had dined well and enjoyed wine together and then come together in both passion and love here.
Tomorrow he would sail and be gone for however long it took him to make a trade circuit.
Why did she have to spoil it with yet another discussion of Malta?
Because, she told herself firmly, it had to be settled.
She had to make him agree with her before he left.
She would not go behind his back while he was gone.
To do so would chip away the trust that had always bonded them.
So she took a deep breath and spoke the words they were both tired of hearing. ‘About Malta…’ she began.
He groaned. ‘No. Please, Keffria, no. In but a few hours I will have to rise and go. Let us have these last few hours together in peace.’
‘We haven’t that luxury. Malta knows we are at odds about this. She will use that as a lever on me the whole time you are gone. Whatever she wants that I forbid, she will reply, “But Papa said I am a woman now…” It will be torture for me.’
With a long-suffering sigh, he rolled away from her.
The bed was suddenly a cooler place than it had been, uncomfortably cool.
‘So. I should take back my promise to her simply so you won’t be squabbling with her?
Keffria. What will she think of me? Is this really so great a difficulty as you are making it out to be?
Let her go to the one gathering in a pretty dress. That’s all it is.’
‘No.’ It took all her courage to contradict him directly.
But he didn’t know what he was talking about, she told herself frantically.
He didn’t understand, and she’d left it too late to explain it all to him tonight.
She had to make him give in to her, just this once.
‘It’s far more than dancing with a man in a pretty dress.
She’s having dance lessons from Rache. I want to tell her that she must be content with that for now, that she must spend at least a year preparing to be seen as a woman in Bingtown society before she can go out as one.
And I want to tell her that you and I are united in this.
That you thought it over and changed your mind about letting her go. ’
‘But I didn’t,’ Kyle pointed out stubbornly.
He was on his back now, staring up at the ceiling.
He had lifted his hands and laced the fingers behind his head.
Were he standing up, she thought, he’d have his arms crossed on his chest. ‘I think you are making much of a small thing. And… I don’t say this to hurt you, but because I see it more and more in you…
I think you simply do not wish to give up any control of Malta, that you wish to keep her a little girl at your side.
I sense it almost as a jealousy in you, dear.
That she vies for my attention, as well as the attentions of young men.
I’ve seen it before; no mother wishes to be eclipsed by her daughter.
A grown daughter must always be a reminder to a woman that she is not young anymore.
But I think it is unworthy of you, Keffria.
Let your daughter grow up and be both an ornament and a credit to you.
You cannot keep her in short skirts and plaited hair for ever. ’
Perhaps he took her furious and affronted silence for something else, for he turned slightly toward her as he said, ‘We should be grateful she is so unlike Wintrow. Look at him. He not only looks and sounds like a boy, but longs to continue being one. Just the other day, aboard the ship, I came upon him working shirtless in the sun. His back was red as a lobster and he was sulking as furiously as a five year old. Some of the men, as a bit of a jest, had taken his shirts and pegged them up at the top of the rigging. And he feared to go up to get them back. I called him to my chamber and tried to explain to him, privately, that if he did not go up after them, the rest of the crew would think him a coward. He claimed it was not fear that kept him from going after his shirt but dignity. Standing there like a righteous little prig of a preacher! And he tried to make some moral point of it, that it was neither courage nor cowardice, but that he would not risk himself for their amusement. I told him there was very little risk to it, did he but heed what he’d been taught, and again he came back at me with some cant about no man should put another man even to a small risk simply for his own amusement.
Finally, I lost patience with him and called Torg and told him to see the boy up the mast and back to get his shirt.
I fear he lost a great deal of the crew’s respect over that… ’
‘Why do you allow your crew to play boy’s pranks when they ought to be about their work?
’ Keffria demanded. Her heart bled for Wintrow even as she fervently wished her son had simply gone after his own shirt.
If he’d but risen to their challenge, they would have seen him as one of their own.
Now they would see him as an outsider to torment.
She knew it instinctively, and wondered that he had not.
‘You’ve fair ruined the lad by sending him off to the priests.’ Kyle sounded almost satisfied as he said this, and she suddenly realized how completely he had changed the topic.
‘We were discussing, not Wintrow, but Malta.’ A new tack suddenly occurred to her. ‘As you have insisted that only you know the correct way to raise our son in the ways of men, perhaps you should concede that only a woman can know the best way to guide Malta into womanhood.’
Even in the darkness, she could see the surprise that crossed his face at the tartness of her tone.
It was, she suddenly knew, the wrong way to approach him if she wanted to win him to her side.
But the words had been said and she was suddenly too angry to take them back.
Too angry to try to cajole and coax him to her way of thinking.
‘If you were a different type of woman, I might concede the right of that,’ he said coldly.
‘But I recall you as you were when you were a girl. And your own mother kept you tethered to her skirts much as you seek to restrain Malta. Consider how long it took me to awaken you to a woman’s feelings.
Not all men have that patience. I would not see Malta grow up as backward and shy as you were. ’
The cruelty of his words took her breath away.
Their slow courtship, her deliciously gradual hope and then certainty of Kyle’s interest in her were some of her sweetest memories.
He had snatched that away in a moment, turned her months of shy anticipation into some exercise of bored patience on his part, made his awakening of her feelings an educational service he had performed for her.
She turned her head and stared at this sudden stranger in her bed.
She wanted to deny that he had ever spoken such words, wanted to pretend that they did not truly reflect his feelings but had been said out of some kind of spite.
Coldness welled up from within her now. Spite words or true, did not it come to the same thing?
He was not the man she had always believed him to be.
All these years, she had been married to a fantasy, not a real person.
She had imagined a husband to herself, a tender, loving, laughing man who only stayed away so many months because he must, and she had put Kyle’s face on her creation.
Easy enough to ignore or excuse a few flaws or even a dozen when he made one of his brief stops at home.
She had always been able to pretend he was tired, that the voyage had been both long and hard, that they were simply getting readjusted to one another.
Despite all the things he had said and done in the weeks since her father’s death, she had continued to treat him and react to him as if he were the man she had created in her mind.
The truth was that he had never been the romantic figure her fancies had made him.
He was just a man, like any other man. No. He was stupider than most.
He was stupid enough to think she had to obey him. Even when she knew better, even when he was not around to oppose her. Realizing this was like opening her eyes to the sun’s rising. How had it never occurred to her before?
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81 (Reading here)
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147
- Page 148
- Page 149
- Page 150
- Page 151
- Page 152
- Page 153
- Page 154
- Page 155
- Page 156
- Page 157
- Page 158
- Page 159
- Page 160
- Page 161
- Page 162
- Page 163
- Page 164
- Page 165
- Page 166
- Page 167
- Page 168
- Page 169
- Page 170
- Page 171
- Page 172
- Page 173
- Page 174
- Page 175
- Page 176
- Page 177
- Page 178
- Page 179
- Page 180
- Page 181
- Page 182
- Page 183
- Page 184
- Page 185
- Page 186
- Page 187
- Page 188
- Page 189
- Page 190
- Page 191
- Page 192
- Page 193
- Page 194
- Page 195
- Page 196
- Page 197
- Page 198
- Page 199
- Page 200
- Page 201
- Page 202
- Page 203
- Page 204
- Page 205
- Page 206
- Page 207
- Page 208
- Page 209
- Page 210
- Page 211
- Page 212
- Page 213
- Page 214
- Page 215
- Page 216
- Page 217
- Page 218
- Page 219
- Page 220
- Page 221
- Page 222
- Page 223
- Page 224
- Page 225
- Page 226
- Page 227
- Page 228
- Page 229
- Page 230
- Page 231
- Page 232
- Page 233
- Page 234
- Page 235
- Page 236
- Page 237
- Page 238
- Page 239
- Page 240
- Page 241
- Page 242
- Page 243
- Page 244
- Page 245
- Page 246
- Page 247
- Page 248
- Page 249
- Page 250
- Page 251
- Page 252
- Page 253
- Page 254
- Page 255
- Page 256
- Page 257
- Page 258
- Page 259
- Page 260
- Page 261
- Page 262
- Page 263
- Page 264
- Page 265
- Page 266
- Page 267
- Page 268
- Page 269
- Page 270
- Page 271
- Page 272
- Page 273
- Page 274
- Page 275
- Page 276
- Page 277
- Page 278
- Page 279
- Page 280
- Page 281
- Page 282
- Page 283
- Page 284
- Page 285
- Page 286
- Page 287
- Page 288
- Page 289
- Page 290
- Page 291
- Page 292
- Page 293
- Page 294
- Page 295
- Page 296
- Page 297
- Page 298
- Page 299
- Page 300
- Page 301
- Page 302
- Page 303
- Page 304
- Page 305
- Page 306
- Page 307
- Page 308
- Page 309
- Page 310
- Page 311
- Page 312
- Page 313
- Page 314
- Page 315
- Page 316
- Page 317
- Page 318
- Page 319
- Page 320
- Page 321
- Page 322
- Page 323
- Page 324
- Page 325
- Page 326
- Page 327
- Page 328
- Page 329
- Page 330
- Page 331
- Page 332
- Page 333
- Page 334
- Page 335
- Page 336
- Page 337
- Page 338
- Page 339
- Page 340
- Page 341
- Page 342
- Page 343
- Page 344
- Page 345
- Page 346
- Page 347
- Page 348
- Page 349
- Page 350
- Page 351
- Page 352
- Page 353
- Page 354
- Page 355
- Page 356
- Page 357
- Page 358
- Page 359
- Page 360
- Page 361
- Page 362
- Page 363
- Page 364
- Page 365
- Page 366
- Page 367
- Page 368
- Page 369
- Page 370
- Page 371
- Page 372
- Page 373
- Page 374
- Page 375
- Page 376
- Page 377
- Page 378
- Page 379
- Page 380
- Page 381
- Page 382
- Page 383
- Page 384
- Page 385
- Page 386
- Page 387
- Page 388
- Page 389
- Page 390
- Page 391
- Page 392
- Page 393
- Page 394
- Page 395
- Page 396
- Page 397
- Page 398
- Page 399
- Page 400
- Page 401
- Page 402
- Page 403
- Page 404
- Page 405
- Page 406
- Page 407
- Page 408
- Page 409
- Page 410
- Page 411
- Page 412
- Page 413
- Page 414
- Page 415
- Page 416
- Page 417
- Page 418
- Page 419
- Page 420
- Page 421
- Page 422
- Page 423
- Page 424
- Page 425
- Page 426
- Page 427
- Page 428
- Page 429
- Page 430
- Page 431
- Page 432
- Page 433
- Page 434
- Page 435
- Page 436
- Page 437
- Page 438
- Page 439
- Page 440
- Page 441
- Page 442
- Page 443
- Page 444
- Page 445
- Page 446
- Page 447
- Page 448
- Page 449
- Page 450
- Page 451
- Page 452
- Page 453
- Page 454
- Page 455
- Page 456
- Page 457
- Page 458
- Page 459
- Page 460
- Page 461
- Page 462
- Page 463
- Page 464
- Page 465
- Page 466
- Page 467
- Page 468
- Page 469
- Page 470
- Page 471
- Page 472
- Page 473
- Page 474
- Page 475
- Page 476
- Page 477
- Page 478
- Page 479
- Page 480
- Page 481
- Page 482
- Page 483
- Page 484
- Page 485
- Page 486
- Page 487
- Page 488
- Page 489
- Page 490
- Page 491
- Page 492
- Page 493
- Page 494
- Page 495
- Page 496
- Page 497
- Page 498
- Page 499
- Page 500
- Page 501
- Page 502
- Page 503
- Page 504
- Page 505
- Page 506
- Page 507
- Page 508
- Page 509
- Page 510
- Page 511
- Page 512
- Page 513
- Page 514
- Page 515
- Page 516
- Page 517
- Page 518
- Page 519
- Page 520
- Page 521
- Page 522
- Page 523
- Page 524
- Page 525
- Page 526
- Page 527
- Page 528
- Page 529
- Page 530
- Page 531
- Page 532
- Page 533
- Page 534
- Page 535
- Page 536
- Page 537
- Page 538
- Page 539
- Page 540
- Page 541
- Page 542
- Page 543
- Page 544
- Page 545
- Page 546
- Page 547
- Page 548
- Page 549
- Page 550
- Page 551
- Page 552
- Page 553