Page 68 of The King’s Man (The Kingdom of the Krow #3)

~ DIADRE ~

An hour later, our now-clean clothes thrown over nearby bushes to dry in the daytime sun, we were both drowsy.

I hadn’t slept much of the night because I’d been rushing to get what we needed and get back to Jann.

He’d slept for more than a day, but it was clear he’d needed it because the moment he dropped back into the hammock murmuring about resting for a moment, his eyes dragged closed.

Unable to resist, I crawled into the hammock with him, held to his side by his long arm and the side of the hammock, free hand flat on his chest and my head on his shoulder.

The hammock swung again—less frantically now and it was very soothing. The warm strength of his body easing some of the tension from me. I had my eyes closed, but was still awake when he spoke, his voice rumbling in his chest under my ear.

“This is… precious, Dee.”

I nodded and flattened my hand on his chest. “It is. And I don’t want to risk it.”

“Then accept that we know what we need to know from the Centaurs and stay with me tonight,” he muttered softly—not angrily.

I swallowed and took a deep breath, but snuggled deeper into him. “Be honest… do you really think you can fly tomorrow?”

He’d told me before about that flight—called it harrowing.

He said it had to be taken in the warmest part of the day because the mountains were so tall the air grew thin, and the weather was usually ice storms. He’d said the reason the Raven Peaks were such a good barrier to Ebonreach was because it took everything the Nephilim had to cross them. People on foot didn’t stand a chance.

I knew he was capable of it. Had made that flight many times. But he was already exhausted. And I was afraid he felt he had to be strong, because lives were at stake.

“It’s the only way to get across,” he muttered, not answering my question.

“I know. But… tomorrow?”

He squirmed, obviously testing his back. Then he sighed. “No,” he finally admitted, reluctantly. “Not over the Peaks.”

“Then we wait,” I said firmly. “And if we’re waiting, I can get to that scribe and send a message to Melek and Yilan.”

He nodded reluctantly. We spent a few more moments swinging slowly and I thought the conversation was over. That we would sleep. But then he cleared his throat.

“The world has gone mad,” he said softly. “Melek and I find mates among the Fetch?” he murmured breathily. “Gall claims the crown—and is violent towards babes? The Centaurs attack without speaking and my allies have disappeared… What the hell is going on?”

I put my arm over his chest and squeezed him to me. “There’s only one way to find out. “

“But that way puts you at threat and I find myself suddenly reluctant, Dee,” he admitted softly. “I am no coward. But to lose you… even the thought chills me.”

I knew the feeling. When he said it like that my spine tingled, and not in the good way.

When I thought of him walking into any kind of battle now—despite knowing he’d been right at Melek’s side all the way across the Continent…

despite having watched him slaughter his way through the Neph that defied Melek…

despite knowing that with the possible exception of Melek, there was no stronger warrior on this continent… even a Neph General was mortal.

The wrong stab of a spear. The arrow from an unseen archer. The blow of a sneaky enemy…

And that wasn’t even bringing the Fallen into it.

“Have you met the Fallen before?” I asked him quietly, afraid to hear the answer.

He nodded. “I have. Though not often.” His voice was tight, as if he’d prefer not to think about it. “They are… strange.”

“Strange how?”

“They are of this world, and yet, not of it. There is an ancient wisdom there, yet it’s colored by evil.

They speak of God like a brother they are at odds with.

And they speak of humanity both as gnats to be flicked away, and with a weight that implies the world’s greatest treasure.

And they… know you,” he said uncomfortably, his body shifting in the hammock again.

“Know you?”

“And you. Me. Melek. Yilan—everyone. They know everyone. They know things of us that we don’t know about ourselves,” he said tightly. “At times, being under the eyes of Lucifer feels as revealing as standing before God Himself.”

I sucked in. “You’ve met him?”

“We’ve all met him, whether we realize it or not.”

“No, that can’t be true. I’d know if I—”

“Trust me, Dee. I am half Fallen—more halves than anyone else, for that matter. Our wings are a manifestation of our Fallen bloodline. The way we can use them to obscure ourselves… it’s a function of their subterfuge.

They can imitate anyone or anything they wish.

You’d never know you were in the presence of a Fallen unless they want you to. ”

“Then how can we fight them? If they have Gall—he wouldn’t even know it was them, right? Is that what’s happening? Have they pretended to be Melek or… or someone else he trusts?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that we have to find out,” he muttered, squirming again like his back was hurting. His grip on me tightened, his hand cupping my ass and pulling me harder against his side.

But even though I knew he didn’t want to talk about them, I was compelled to.

“So… they run Ebonreach?”

He shook his head. “They haven’t. Do they now? Who knows. Until this war, Gault ruled Ebonreach without contender after he killed his half-brother.”

“So you really don’t know what we’ll find on the other side of those mountains?”

“Not a fucking clue, sadly,” he muttered.

“But I find myself grateful that Ebonreach—and particularly the Palace and grounds are made for subterfuge. None of the Neph truly trust each other—or rather, it’s rare.

Every building, every hall, every outhouse has an escape route.

With your skills and the exits built into our culture, I know you can be safe.

If something happens, if I’m taken or the Fallen descend… promise me you’ll run, Dee.”

“What? No! I’m not—”

“I’m not asking you to betray Yilan or Melek. I’m asking you to survive until you can find a way to help. Noble sacrifice means nothing if it removes you from this world. From me.”

“Oh really? Mister I’d die to keep you safe? You think you’re the only one who can make that kind of vow?”

I tipped my head up to meet his eyes, because I was serious.

But when he locked eyes with me, his expression was pained. “Dee, if I walk into Ebonreach and my choices get you killed, I will die not long after.” His tone said it was inevitable.

My breath rushed out of me—I felt the same way, but hearing it from his lips made the risk seem far too real. “But you said—”

“I will fight. I will try. But… the soulbond is real. The thought of you leaving my presence and facing down danger seeds panic in me. I am not a panicker,” he said dryly.

“I don’t know… when your wings pop out against—”

“We will not speak of that again,” he muttered. “Ever.”

I chuckled, but the mirth passed quickly. I sighed and snuggled into his shoulder again.

“I don’t want to think about this,” I said honestly.

“Neither do I, but God has given me a mate who seems quite willing to throw herself into danger without even mentioning it to me first. Perhaps the Fallen won’t kill either of us. Perhaps I’ll die of a heart attack next time you make a plan and don’t share it with me.”

“Then… let’s plan together,” I said simply.

“We can’t plan until we know—”

“You can tell me what your home is like. You can make me understand how your people work. How to avoid the… the worst of them. And we can make many plans, Jann. All the plans. We can look at the problems that might arise and plan for each of them. That way, even if things go in ways we don’t anticipate, we’ll always know where to look for each other. ”

He glanced at me from the side and looked like he might argue, but then he sighed and rubbed his forehead, eyes closed, like he was thinking.

“Tell me what to expect when we get there—what’s the city like?”

He huffed. “It’s much like our war camps except with more polish.

There will be far bigger numbers—thousands.

But not all are interested in women and reproduction.

Not every Neph is a threat to you, Dee. But so many are…

Still, few would dare challenge me for you.

And we have ways of marking you. I know you abhor the practice, but when we get there, you must let me provide for you so in the event that you are revealed to any of my men or enemies, they know you’re mine.

” Then he growled and shook his head, as if he argued with himself.

“No, no. It’s too risky—no, once we’re inside Valgorath city, there can’t be any little jaunts without my knowledge,” he said firmly.

“But—”

“We must stay together. If at any point if you’re discovered I have to be there to claim you.”

“But how can I help you by shadow walking if I can only walk where you are?!”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Jann—”

“Please, Diadre. We are better together. Stronger together. If someone attacks or there’s a threat, by all means walk the shadows and elude our enemies.

But please… don’t get it into your pretty little head that you can spy for me in that place.

Who knows what powers the Fallen have or how they might come at us.

All we can guard against is the Neph, and to keep them at bay, you must be in my presence. ”

“God, I hate your culture,” I muttered.

“Frankly, so do I,” he said flatly. “But I am only one man. Even Melek, if he takes the throne in truth, will struggle to shift all our traditions in the short term. My people take their practices from the Fallen—and that should tell you something about how depraved they are.”

“God, that makes me think about Istral and…” I shivered, imagining her fear and wanted to weep.

Jann sighed and held me tighter. “I fear for her as well. Her and Gall—my heart aches at the thought of what they may have faced. Even if they aren’t dead, we can free them… God, it doesn’t bear thinking about.”

He sighed and rubbed his face again, and even though I was sick inside at the subject, there was also a sweet, lovely warm flutter in my chest seeing him so… compassionate.

“I never imagined you like this,” I whispered, looking up at him.

He dropped his hand from his face, frowning and looked down at me again. “Like what?”

I shrugged, feeling a little shy. “I suppose it’s thoughtfulness? For a long time you seemed untouched by whatever happened around us.”

A strange expression came over his face then and he tipped his head.

“I’ve never been untouched. Only… I’m not even certain how to put it into words, but…

I feel as if with you I can be both strong and weak.

The women I’ve been close to before have needed my protection, and I’ve always felt that any revelation of fear or weakness would frighten them. ”

I thought about that—warmed by his confidence in me, but also uncomfortable knowing he’d had women in his life he’d consider being vulnerable with. And yet, something about his words rang true for me as well… but in reverse.

“It’s strange,” I said carefully, “But I feel like… with men before… I had to hide my strength. As if they needed me to need them in ways I… didn’t need them.”

Both of us were quiet for a long time then.

I thought he’d gone to sleep, and my mind drifted back to the men who’d shared my bed at different times in my life.

They seemed very distant now, as if Jann’s bulk shielded me from the fear and frustration they’d caused, and for the first time that I could remember, I could look back on those memories without feeling them.

But then Jann spoke and it was as if the conversation had never paused.

“Dee, if any of those men ever show their faces again, please do me the honor of pointing them out. I find I would quite like to meet them.”

“Trust me, you wouldn’t. Some of them are good soldiers, but they aren’t good men—”

“If they aren’t good men, they aren’t good soldiers, only skilled fighters, and those are not the same thing.

You, Dee,” he put his finger under my chin and pulled it up, making me meet his eyes.

“You are a good soldier. A good, well, man,” he huffed.

“And if another man exists who made you less… I want to disabuse him of the idea so he might learn from his mistake.”

I smiled. “That’s what you don’t understand, Jann. You’ve already done that… by being the bigger man—in every way possible, I might add.”

His grin grew wicked, but soon faded and he sighed. He leaned down to kiss me briefly, then relaxed back into the hammock.

“We should rest,” he said shortly.

“I know.”

“And pray.”

I snorted. “Always.”

“No, Dee, I mean it. The deeper we walk into this, the more I fear it is only by God’s grace that we’ll both survive it. And I find I am very invested in making that happen.”

I hugged him tighter and took a deep breath. “Me too,” I whispered.