Page 57 of The King’s Man (The Kingdom of the Krow #3)

SOUNDTRACK: Lament by Tommee Proffit, Sam Tinnesz, Shaya Zamora

~ DIADRE ~

The words washed a chill down my spine like I’d been thrown into a snowmelt lake.

I knew it. I’d been waiting for something, and it was finally here. Some part of me had known from the moment I met him that there was an ugly, dark secret hidden under those invisible wings and—

“Dee? Please breathe.”

“You have slaves?”

“I have a slave.”

“A female?”

“Yes.”

I couldn’t look at him. I struggled to breathe and gripped the thighs of my leathers trying to ground myself. “What kind of slave?”

I waited for that answer, a piece of my heart already broken.

My mate had slaves? He held ownership of people?

Of women? I could barely wait to hear his response.

I prayed, pleading silently that this was not what I thought it was, and at the same time, the very idea repulsed me so completely, could there be any circumstance in which I didn’t want to vomit on him?

The bond screamed.

Obviously aware of my churning feelings, Jann took some time to answer. His voice was deep and wary when he finally spoke.

“Is there anything that the title slave doesn’t make clear?” he said softly.

I turned my head to look at him, disgust and fear and sickness roiling within me. “You’ve had sex with her?”

“That wasn’t what I meant. But… yes. We’ve been close for years and sometimes we both—”

“You’re fucking sick.” My skin crawled as I pushed to my feet, my stomach heaving.

Jann was on his feet next to me in a blink, grabbing for me. “Dee, it’s not like that—”

“Don’t touch me.”

“You have to listen to me—”

I snapped my elbow from his grip. “I don’t have to listen to a fucking word—you keep a slave in your bed—”

“Absolutely fucking not. Our connection was entirely by her choice and had no bearing on her work—”

“She’s your slave!” I screamed, my heart tearing in two, my mind broken by the idea of some poor woman who’d been forced under his care and into his bed to save her own skin, and he called himself honorable?

I lashed out to slap him, but the fucker caught my wrist right before I reached his face and gripped it, a manacle, stopping me getting my claws into him.

“No,” he growled, leaning down into my face. “She is no more my slave in that regard than you are.”

The words hit like a sucker-punch to my stomach. My breath whooshed out of me and I physically flinched.

Jann closed his eyes and shook his head, but didn’t let go of my wrist even when I bent forward, afraid I might actually vomit.

“No, no, no, Dee, please,” he murmured. “Those were the wrong words. I only meant that the choice was always hers. Always. I never… I never used my strength or power. I never threatened her. I never—”

“Slave… she is your slave.”

“By my society’s terms, yes. She belongs to my household. She is viewed by others as my possession—but not by me.”

“And is that what I’ll be?” I asked him, my voice thin and rasping. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I? All this talk of vows and souls and Ones, but the moment we cross those mountains I become a horse for harness. A mare for breeding? A—”

“No. Fucking no, Diadre.”

“But that’s what your brothers will think! Right?”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what they think, as long as it keeps you safe,” he snarled through his teeth.

“You may not care how they see me, but I do!” I hissed. “A great deal!”

“That isn’t what I meant and you know it!”

“No, Jann, I don’t! Because every time I sink deeper with you, something else happens, some new nugget of information or new attitude and I’m suddenly thrown loose again, rattling in the wind wondering when is he finally going to show his true colors?!”

“True colors?” he snarled. “You think I haven’t shown you who I truly am?!”

Something deep in my chest cautioned silence—but my mind fought it. Reminding me of every sick, stupid way men had hurt and broken me and every other woman I knew. There was always a downfall. Always a disappointment. And sometimes a tragedy.

“How would I know, Jann? Truly—how would I know?”

“Because you’re fucking inside me, Dee, that’s how!

” he growled, and for the first time I saw very real anger in his eyes…

for me. I didn’t back down, didn’t let him push me away as he leaned down, looming over me, eyes blazing with rage.

“If anyone can sense the truth of my heart, it should be you. And yet you are the one who believes in me the least.”

I blinked. “I never said I didn’t believe—”

“So quick to assume that I would do wrong. So ready to believe that I’ve hidden secrets from you, or have plans I haven’t spoken. So convinced that I secretly plan to be your destroyer.”

My breath rushed out of me, because it was true. But couldn’t he see that what he was, what he came from, was vile?

“Do not stare down your nose at me when you question every good thing I have done, and believe every bad thing before I’ve even said it,” he snarled.

I swallowed hard. “Your people, your culture—I hate them, Jann. They are the worst of men. The worst this world has to offer—”

“But am I?!” he roared.

I flinched and he cursed and looked away from me, muttering under his breath and actually trembling.

I was torn in two—half of me desperate to comfort him, the other half terrified of what he might do.

Which was when he went still, then his head turned back to me and he stared, wide-eyed. “Frightened? You’re still frightened of me?”

“You could snap my neck with one hand.”

“Yes, but you believe I would?”

No.

I blinked as my mind answered before my fear.

No. No… I didn’t think he would.

But he had slaves?

He took my hesitation as a blow and flinched. Then he growled.

“As a rule I try not to boast, but apparently you won’t look beyond my words to see that my actions uphold them, so here is your truth, Dee: I won Caelan.

I saw her being abused, challenged the fucker who’d stolen her from Meyrath, and took her directly out of the sadistic bastard’s arms. I dressed her like a human, educated her, and learned to recognize her unique talents.

She is quietly one of the wealthiest women in our society because I made sure she could be.

Her loyalty to me is a result of gratitude, not fear.

She has been in my house for a decade and runs my affairs when I am gone.

I trust her with anything. And she trusts me.

“Did that trust become a link between us? Yes—many years ago. Occasionally. Before I knew you, and only when both of us desired it. She is a slave in name because it protects her in Ebonreach, but she would be the first to challenge you for accusing me of treating her like one. God!” He put a trembling finger under my nose, his eyes blazing.

“You may judge my people and you may despise our society—as do I!—but do not paint me with that brush when you know nothing and refuse to listen to what you’re told. ”

He shoved my hand away like it offended him and turned his back like he’d storm away, but then he stopped, hands clenched at his sides into fists.

He quivered.

I stared at his back, simultaneously grateful and horrified.

He owned a slave.

But he’d saved her from a worse fate.

But he owned a slave, a woman, and he’d slept with her.

But he was so clear that he never took advantage of a woman and he’d been so gentle with me…

Was it possible for someone in that position to truly make a choice without feeling the pressure of his power?

I made the choice, and I was bonded to him.

But was I making the choice, or was the choice making me—

A small, strangled sound broke in his throat and he turned back to look at me, his eyes tormented, but still fiery with anger.

“I understand why you fear this picture, Dee. In any other man, I would stand beside you and fight it. But you wound me… What reason have I given you to question my integrity on this? What possible evidence have I provided that I would harm you, or any other woman, in that way? I have spent my life as a soldier,” he said hoarsely.

“I have taken blows, I’ve been stabbed, I’ve been beaten within an inch of my life. But I have never…”

I tensed as a strange sensation flooded the bond and suddenly I was scrambling.

Jann’s fists tightened until his knuckles were white. “No one has ever hurt me the way your expectation that I am evil hurts me, Diadre. No one. Ever.”

I gaped as he stared at me, miserable, then turned on his heel. “I won’t go far. I’ll watch for any intruders. You’re safe. But… I need to be alone for a time,” he muttered, then disappeared into the brush, leaving me there. Also alone.

And reeling.