Page 11 of The King’s Man (The Kingdom of the Krow #3)

~ DIADRE ~

Once the trees disappeared into the mists under our feet, I discovered that flying in the fog was less frightening than open air.

With the mists closing around us it never felt like we were so horribly high up.

Of course, it was also freezing. For the first time I was grateful for Jann’s thick arms and body behind mine.

They kept me warm. But I still shook—with anger.

Fucking Jhonas.

He might have supported my rise in the ranks, but he would never stop being my brother.

He was usually much better at treating me like a Captain in front of the troops.

But he was stressed about Jann and the Neph in general, and when I’d told him about Gall and Istral it had only made him more concerned that they had nefarious plans for me and Yilan.

His barking and coming after me like I was a child was embarrassing when the men watched it. It lowered their view of me as a commanding officer.

And it pissed me the fuck off.

“Easy,” Jann murmured, his voice was warm and soft… like I was an anxious horse?

“I’m fine,” I muttered.

He chuckled in my ear. “You, my dear, are far from fine. Why do women always use that term when they don’t mean it?”

“Because I do mean it. I am fine—to handle this alone, without some arrogant, male bullshit,” I said through my teeth.

He flew on silently for a few minutes except for a few, brief questions about the direction he should take to bring us out of the fog as close to the Palace as possible.

Even though it was strangely awkward being held by Jann, I did take the time to breathe deeply and work on letting my anger go. To remind myself that Jhonas was only worried for my safety.

After a few more minutes, I groaned and wriggled in Jann’s arms, trying to avoid thoughts of how high we must be, and how he could fly me anywhere in the mists, and I wouldn’t know until it was too late.

That made fear jangle in my veins. And that made me squirm.

A motion Jann clearly took as my continued agitation with my brother.

“You know, ten years ago when I was rising in the ranks—”

“I’m a Captain , Jann. I, too, had my first promotion almost a decade ago,” I ground out. “Please stop speaking to me as if I am a child who has been petted and made to believe I was important. I have earned my rank.”

Jann didn’t answer right away. Then he cleared his throat and spoke in that measured voice again. I rolled my eyes, but was soon lost in his story.

“I was almost twenty-five the first time I had to take orders from a childhood friend. A friend who’d always followed me, striving to beat me.

And until that year, I had taken pride in that.

I didn’t lord it over him too much. But I enjoyed teasing him.

Until the day he was promoted and suddenly I was standing for roll, and he was barking the orders that I had to take. It was… humbling.”

I sighed. “Do you have siblings, Jann?”

“Very few Nephilim have full siblings.” He hesitated as if he wasn’t sure he’d continue. Then, “And in my family in particular, there are none at all. Not even halfs.”

“Why your family in particular?”

“Because of the curse.”

Ah. I’d forgotten about that Halfling legend. “I thought you said the myths weren’t real?”

“The myths that my line somehow made me stronger, or closer to the Fallen aren’t true,” he said bluntly.

“I am strong, but so is Melek, and he’s a generation deeper than me and without the Nephilim Pair.

My strength isn’t a unique gift. I worked hard for it.

But the curse? The curse is real. At least, it has been for three generations.

Both my father and his died within a few years of their son’s births.

My grandfather only made it months. And neither reproduced more than once. So, no. No siblings.”

I grimaced. “But… that’s a coincidence, surely?”

I felt his shoulders shrug behind me. “All of the Neph are cursed to some degree—we are descended from the Fallen who were rejected by God. It could be argued that having the double-Nephilim bloodline is double the curse. And I would say my family has borne the evidence of that,” he said grimly.

“I wish I did have siblings—especially siblings who cared. In my people, siblings are often your hardest fought rivals.”

I blinked. “Truly?”

“Truly. Especially among the higher ranks—the former King had to kill his own brother to take the throne.”

That thought—killing Jhonas?—made me squirm. “I don’t hate my brother. I… I just wish he saw me. He says he does, but in moments like these it’s clear that in his mind I will always be his little sister before any rank I’ve earned.”

Jann huffed. “Probably—but isn’t that a good thing?”

“When he undermines me in front of the men? No! I have enough problems keeping their respect without my brother of all people making me look weak.”

“How does his regard for you make you weak? Is he not well-liked.”

“Jhonas is adored,” I grumbled.

“Then why would his regard not bring favor on you among the men?”

“Because, he throws me around like I’m still a child and—wait, why are you standing up for him?”

“I’m not, I find him irritating in the extreme. A complete ass, if I’m honest.”

I laughed. “You two are fucking peas in a pod—all brash and flirty and… if you don’t like him, you don’t like yourself, Jann,” I giggled and smiled wider when he stiffened.

“But Jhonas isn’t an ass. I love my brother—and I admire the man he’s become.

But that’s why it’s hard when he only sees me as a sister, and not as the rank I’ve achieved. ”

“Perhaps… perhaps what he sees is more valuable than your rank?”

“Pardon?”

Jann took a deep breath and his chest pressed tight against my back.

“In my experience, a leader’s value isn’t in their physical strength—or gender, I suppose.

But in their character. Who they are. How they handle themselves.

Today I watched your men treat you with respect which indicates to me that they see something admirable in you.

Any man can be given a rank—it doesn’t mean he’s earned it.

The true test is whether he can hold respect in the minds of those that follow—and whether they’ll follow willingly. ”

“Trust me, plenty of men have followed me un willingly.”

“Then I would suggest to you that they did so because they had grudging respect for you.”

“That’s bullshit—they challenge me at every turn.

Especially when I was first promoted. There were accusations of the Queen overriding the General’s wishes to promote me.

Accusations that my brother procured the position for me even though I wasn’t strong enough.

Gossip that I’d slept my way to the promotion.

” I was snarling by that time—of all the things that had been leveled at me in my career, that one burned the most.

“And you think that’s because you’re a woman?”

“I know it is! They all said a woman couldn’t reach where I reached without… something.”

“I’m sure there are men who would be reluctant to follow a woman by virtue of her sex, but I wonder if you aren’t, perhaps, more conscious of it than they are.

When I was first raised to Officer, there was gossip that I’d only received the commendation because the King was trying to garner favor with the Fallen.

And when Melek raised me to Captain, it was said I was only given the rank because I was his friend.

Perhaps the jealousy and agitation would be…

more pronounced with a woman. But I saw those men with you today, Diadre.

They saw a Captain before they saw a female. ”

“Well, my brother didn’t.”

“Should he? Should I see Melek as King before I see him as my chosen brother?”

“At certain times and places… yes!”

“Ah, but those moments—when I submit to his will because he’s proven himself, and because I know him… those are enhanced by my notion of him as my friend and brother. I am proud to serve him.”

“My brother isn’t proud to serve me—he’s constantly reminding me that he outranks me because he was raised earlier.”

“Oh? Is it possible you’re the one doing the challenging? Not seeing the rank, but the sibling? Is he fighting for your respect?”

I blinked and opened my mouth to argue. Then closed it. And frowned. “That’s not… I wasn’t—”

“If you want to be admired, Diadre, you don’t need braids on your jacket to do it.

You need to lead your life as a person with intelligence and strength—on and off the battlefield.

Do what you know is right, and don’t waver.

Let others recognize it for themselves, rather than demanding that they acknowledge it. ”

I wanted to spit at him like a cat. “Your sage advice ignores the fact that men are notoriously blind when it comes to the strength of women.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Yes, I would.”