Page 30 of The King’s Man (The Kingdom of the Krow #3)

SOUNDTRACK: Lovesick by Steven Rodriguez

~ JANN ~

I’d meant to be careful with her, but thought I’d ruined it with one ill-timed question. The way she shrank from that word… conquest. Like a filly who’d been handled poorly.

My blurted confessions were a poor, scrambled attempt to reassure her and draw her near again, to make her see—she was my mate!

I’d almost said it, and thank God I’d caught myself.

I couldn’t put that on her. Knowing these Fetch creatures, if she believed me she’d probably think she had to submit even if she didn’t want to.

And if she didn’t, she’d likely put herself at Yilan’s side and remain under Melek’s protection, turning her back on me entirely.

I didn’t want her reluctant.

I didn’t want her resistant.

I merely wanted her.

And then she said it. With tears in her eyes and a smile on her face…

Yes.

The most precious word on the planet.

A hallelujah.

Joy in a sound. No, need.

My mate said yes.

The resonant call that tore from me was a sound I’d never made before.

A primal cry that declared her mine, and my soul hers.

I descended on her, covering us both with my wings, sliding a hand to the back of her neck and pulling her up, against me, groaning into her mouth as we met.

And to my joy, she met me with abandon—knees curling over my hips, arms sliding under mine, around my ribs, fingers digging into my back.

Diadre arched, seeking me, gasping into the kiss and threatening to break the leash on which I’d kept a stranglehold because everything in me screamed to have her.

Her hips rolled and she gave little cries, rubbing herself on me in a sweet neediness that threatened to leave me unhinged.

But I couldn’t afford to lose control. She was human. If I did this wrong, I’d cleave her in two.

I raised my head, gasping, one hand clawed into the pillow next to her, fighting for control. But my beautiful, luscious, frantic mate had thrown caution to the wind.

When I pulled out of the kiss, she threw her arms around my neck and pulled herself up, opening her mouth on my throat and sucking to mark me.

A startled roar tore from my throat and in an effort to stop myself hurting her, I grabbed for the headboard, only to put my shaking fist through it.

Diadre gasped and her head snapped back to the splintered wood, then followed the length of my arm up to my shoulder, then my face. Our eyes caught and I was captured. Chained.

Could she see the beast in me that wanted her so desperately? Needed her? Would shed its blood for her. Fight to the death. Could she see that my soul knew her name?

I clawed a hand into her hair and held her there, begging God for mercy because if she rejected me now…

“I can see why you all bring real furniture on the warpath,” she said breathlessly, then spluttered a laugh.

I groaned and took her mouth again, pinning her down to the bed, one hand over her head, the other sliding to the back of her thigh, down to her knee, then pulling it up so I could hold her to me.

When I slid against her slick heat, we both groaned. She arched as much as she could with my grip on her leg and her hand clapped to my back, so I did it again. And again, passing over her each time, my body sparking with anticipation—and my mind screaming caution.

“Careful… I have to be so careful, Diadre.”

“I trust you.”

All the arguments for why I was definitely not trustworthy in this moment flickered through my mind, but then I slid against her again and she tilted her hips so that I nudged into her a short inch—and we both froze.

Her eyes were wide, searching mine. I stared at her, panting like a blowing horse. Had she changed her mind? Was she doubting—

All thoughts fled when Diadre’s hand drifted down my back to claw into my ass like she was grabbing a pillow.

“Don’t stop.”

With a startled groan, I dropped to brace on my elbows, cupping hands over her hair and staring deep into her eyes.

“Tell me if it becomes too much,” I rasped. “Do not let me hurt you.”

She nodded quickly, and I felt a tiny flash of nerves in that part of my chest that sensed her—but as I gave a small, experimental roll of my hips and took her by a few small inches, her eyes hooded and her jaw went slack.

I pulled out all the way, then pressed back into her, taking another inch. Slowly, always moving, carefully but surely, I eased into her until her eyes rolled back in her head and she was shaking.

“Dee—”

“More,” she breathed, her jaw dropping when I clenched my teeth and gave her what she asked. And through it all, she watched me. Gasping, whimpering, pleading, she locked eyes on mine and somehow she reached into my heart as surely as I found my home in her body.

A strange, strangled cry broke in my throat when I finally reached my depth within her and felt her fingernails dig into my back muscles, her breath puffing under my chin. I dragged out of her, and this time slid to the hilt, groaning with joy and need.

Diadre gasped and trilled and shivered, her cheeks pinking beautifully as she met my gaze with hooded eyes and her body embraced me.

I fought to keep the pace slow, to let her body learn to take me. But as I braced on the pillows and drew my hips back, then took her again, her head fell back and her mouth made a beautiful O.

I held her there at the peak for a moment, just to take her in—her naked flesh so pale against mine, her breasts pressed against my ribs, her hair tangled over the pillow… there were still so many pieces of her I’d never touched, so many sounds she could make that I’d never heard.

But how could I tell her?

Her hand slipped up to my neck and her nails dug into my nape as I took her again, then again a little faster. And with an animal moan I hadn’t been able to contain, we began to move together. Lips hovering, breaths mingling, hands stroking, bodies writhing… she took me, over and over.

I spoke her name against her throat and tasted the salt of her skin as she tightened around me at the sound. And with every thrust, the coiled tension in my body drew tighter. And she gripped me harder until I was ready to lose my mind.

“Mine,” I whispered savagely against her neck, my teeth grazing her collarbone as she threw her head back, her breath tearing out of her throat.

“You’re mine, Diadre—fucking mine!” I hissed—fighting back my release as she tightened on me.

I clawed one hand into her hair and kissed the goosebumps that rose on her shoulder as she began to tremble.

In the dim light left by my wings, her flesh seemed to glow. The tiny sounds she made, those little cries, threw fuel on the fire of my need. And every time I spoke, her body clenched and threatened to throw me over the cliff.

Everything but her faded. I had never lived before this moment. Never known need. Never wanted, except her.

Her breath stopped when I plunged into her, and I felt her muscles quiver. She was close. So close—but her desire fed mine. This would be a race to the end, and one I needed to lose.

Everything tunneled to this moment in time where her body rippled and embraced, her eyes glowed and her voice was hoarse with need.

I gaped, stupidly turned on by the simple sight of her arched beneath me and her knee high at my hip, as if I were a fumbling adolescent who’d never seen a woman rise to her release.

I drank in the sight of her, mentally filing away the sound of her cries.

Her breath caught with each drive, and my thrusts grew faster, until she was bucking to meet me, eyes screwed tightly closed and head thrown back, fingers in my hair, and my name fluttering the feathers of my wings on her exhale.

She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen—and so deeply, desperately mine.

Knowing there wasn’t much time, and frantic for more of her, I arched my back so I could look down on her and slid a hand to her neck, fingers cupped behind her nape, my thumb brushing her jaw. She shivered, and a smile lit her face.

“Look at me, Diadre. Look at me,” I rasped

Her eyes flew open to find mine, detonating joy in my heart.

I pulled out of her, then drove in deep, lifting her hips with my thrust. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped and she whispered my name. I’d never heard a more beautiful song—and then I felt it.

The bond.

That throbbing heat, that electric snap, the piece of me that recognized her by name, it expanded until my bones creaked.

Fire in my chest. Flames burning in my veins, my soul came alive and curled in my blood, trying to push out from between my ribs—towards her.

Shuddering as I took her again, clawing into the furs to gather the sheds of my control, I huffed her name.

“Stay with me, Beautiful,” I growled.

She’d let her eyes roll back again, but when I spoke she came back to me and this time when our eyes locked, that heat in my chest flooded out from my heart, through my veins, to every extremity, and where I touched her, it seeped out of me and into her skin until it flowed through us both, a swirling tide of connection that set us both alight.

Her mouth was open and she grabbed for me, her body shaking, her cries growing higher, thinner.

“Jann… Jann!”

“I’m here.” Mine. “I’ve got you.”

The light shifted until her skin seemed to sparkle with it—that rush, that wave, that drive inside me pushing out, reaching, clawing for her.

And for a single, sparkling moment I was certain it would take.

My heart raced harder, slamming in my chest as I pumped into her faster and faster.

She clung to me, calling, crying, needing, hands gripping my wrists, body clenching and her eyes wide.

“Jann what… what is— Oh god! ”

I bellowed as she came and pounded into her, thoughtlessly breaking the connection between us when I tipped my head back and roared my claim to her.

But as my orgasm detonated at the base of my spine, and my heart exploded in my chest—a forest fire of need for her tearing out of me to find her—half my heart poured out of my body and into hers, filling her and owning her, branding her mine…

And half didn’t.

In the foggy, distant horizon of my soul, some part went still that should not have been still and a chill entered my chest.

Shuddering, coming, body in thrall, I snapped my head back to find her with my eyes—and felt as if I’d been thrown from a great height only to land on stony ground. Ecstasy and terror were twin flames, both threatening to devour me.

My ribs creaked at the impact, forcing the air from my lungs, and forcing me to watch helplessly as pieces of me rushed to her and found their final home, while others were left in freefall.

The bond had left my body to find her, and somehow… somehow she had not received it. Not all of it.

The joy of the bond was a wave washing over still waters—some coming to pull me away, others unmoved.

I shook with bliss, and snarled with pain as my skin went up in flames and only some were sucked away, while half that blistering heat I’d had for her was turned back on me.

Body jerking, I bellowed again, but this time in pain and Diadre, twitching and crying from her own orgasm, panted and clawed at me.

“Jann… Jann, what’s wrong?!”

I jerked and twitched, seared to my bones, clinging to her, wordlessly pleading with her, my heart hammering like that of a bird in the jaws of a cat, so fast that I feared it might actually explode.

I was torn in two.

One half of me owned by her. The other… alone.

Pieces of the bond returned to me… limping, weak, shriveled like fresh growth in the too-hot sun.

With a final cry, I collapsed over her, panting, holding her to me, arms curled around her and over her head, hands holding her as I gasped and grunted, fighting to find my way through as it seemed like I might be ripped in two like a piece of paper in the hands of God Himself.

I have no idea how long I lay there, jerking, swearing, in pain and fear until it finally eased. But when I opened my eyes, I lay on my side. Diadre was on her knees, leaning over me, eyes wide with alarm and cheeks still pink, her hair mussed so beautifully…

Her mouth moved. She spoke, but I didn’t hear her.

The bond.

I needed her, but reaching for her was like reaching through water—everything distorted.

The bond!

She was growing frantic. I needed to speak, to find my words again. But I could only think one thing.

The fucking bond is incomplete. Torn.

Shattered?

On the edge of tears, Diadre grabbed my shoulder and shook, her lips forming my name. I couldn’t answer, couldn’t find air to speak. But I grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand to my chest and planting it there, right over my heart…

The faintest echo of a whisper of a sizzle snapped in my skin. But that rush, that crackle…

It was so small.

Oh God…

She had become my world. My purpose. My life. And yet… alongside the curling warmth of love and intimacy and rightness, there was a deep, black hole. A lack. It sucked at the good, warm, strength of my soul and threatened to swallow it down.

The bond had attempted to complete, to tie us together, yet some piece of it had failed?

Some piece of it… or some piece of her?

Had she rejected it? Was there a barrier between us? Was this how a bond with a Fetch felt?

How the fuck was I supposed to live that that?