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The flight was strange. The fact that they separated me from Sariel from the start was surprising, especially because it was the psychologists who made that call. After everything we’d survived together, you'd think professionals would know how damaging it could be to force such a sudden and decisive change.

Still, the moment we boarded the plane, we were seated apart.

The psychologist wasted no time. He launched straight into a barrage of questions and statements about how disaster survivors typically behave, what their defense mechanisms are, how trauma can twist perceptions, how it distorts relationships between people who experienced it together. After about an hour, I started seeing the pattern.

He was trying to convince me hard, that Sariel and I should go our separate ways and begin individual therapy for PTSD. The way he kept pushing me to ‘give Sariel space’ started to raise red flags. Something felt off.

Was someone behind this? Why had the drone arrived only after three weeks? Who orchestrated the rescue? Was it privately funded? If so, by whom?

Through a bit of careful maneuvering, subtle questions disguised as idle chatter, I managed to pull one crucial detail from him. He let it slip, almost like he hadn’t meant to, that the costs of the rescue mission had been covered by Jacob Lowen and Blue Lowen. The look on his face said it all, he definitely wasn’t supposed to share that.

Whoever had financed it had to be aware Sariel and I were together the entire time. You didn’t need to be a genius to guess our relationship must’ve deepened. How much, though? That’s what the psychologist kept probing for.

But I dodged every attempt. I was at the top of my game, evasive, vague, never giving a straight answer. What if Sariel had already said we were together? Then I'd look like a liar. So instead, I stuck to neutral territory:

"Of course, situations like that bring people closer… there’s emotional support…"

And when he pressed, "But how close did you get?"

I replied, "It’s hard to define… we were focused on surviving. Food. Cold. Hopelessness…"

Each time he came at me with another angle, I spun off into a tangent. Never confirmed. Never denied. But it was more and more clear that most of what he was saying had been planted by Jacob. You could feel it behind every calculated ‘concern’ the psychologist voiced.

When my cousin Hunter came back from the front lines last year, after losing his husband in an ambush by NotFromHere militants, no psychologist told him to isolate from his unit. In fact, they encouraged him to spend time with them—those were the people who could understand what he’d been through. But Hunter pulled away anyway, not just from them, but from our whole family, and it didn’t help him.

I was fairly close with him before; he was my only cousin close to my age, and what happened to him was sad and worrisome.

That’s how I knew a normal psychologist, one not acting on someone else’s orders, wouldn’t have pushed this hard to keep me from Sariel, since isolation could worsen our trauma. It all just didn’t add up.

As we neared landing, the psychologist leaned in and said, "Mr. Jacob Lowen is waiting at the airport for his son. Let’s give them space to reunite, alright, Mr. Nolan?" His eyes locked onto mine with intensity.

So I nodded, almost automatically.

As he guided me toward a different exit, I heard Sariel call my name. I wanted to go to him, but…

The psychologist’s fingers clamped down on my arm. Hard. Practically dragging me away.

And I so went, something curling up tight in my chest, it was painful; it felt wrong.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. But it was already done.

The psychologist and an airline staffer were leading me toward the terminal, where my family was waiting.

I was so emotionally shaken that seeing them hit me harder than I expected.

My dad jumped the barrier and ran to me, tears streaming down his face. He reached me in seconds, wrapping me in a crushing hug.

He kept whispering, "Winnie, Winnie… my heart, my baby!"

He muttered apologies for how long I’d had to wait, swore he’d been counting the days…

Moments later, the rest of my family surrounded me: my father, my brothers and their partners, Uncle Van with his husband and their younger sons. My cousin Nathaniel was there too, and… surprise, surprise, even Hunter had come. I felt grateful, and just a little overwhelmed.

So many people, all cheering, hugging me, clapping my shoulder.

"Winter, you lucky bastard!"

Skye pulled me into a tight hug and Soren muttered, "Glad you're back. I was about to lose my damn mind with ‘General’ Durden as my temp boss…"

And then, through the crowd, came none other than Jacob Lowen.

Immediately, I tensed.

But he kept it short. Just a quick hello, he said he was glad I was alive, that it was a true miracle, and added that he’d call me tomorrow morning. He even apologized to my dad for ever doubting him, then bowed out, saying he didn’t want to intrude on such a joyful reunion.

I felt genuine relief watching him walk away.

Everyone swept me along toward the car. I tried to turn around to catch one last look at Sariel, but he was surrounded by a crowd of his relatives.

My heart was too overwhelmed to process it all.

The only thing I noticed right away, everyone smelled so much stronger. But I chalked it up to three weeks away from civilization and its constant swirl of scent.

Those of my brothers who didn’t live with us said their goodbyes in the parking lot, promising to come by next weekend for a ‘welcome-home’ dinner. When we finally got in the car, just Dad, Father, and me, it was the first time we were alone.

Right away, Dad announced, "You’re staying with us for now, Winnie! We need time to hold on to our son again."

But before anyone could say anything else, I blurted out what had been eating at me, even if it seemed way too materialistic.

"Okay, but… what about my apartment? You didn’t sell it, right? It’s technically in your name in case of… you know. My death."

Father, who was driving, glanced back at me through the rearview mirror.

"Winter, your apartment and car are still there. We knew you were alive. From the very beginning."

"What…?" I stammered.

And then, in the next few minutes, he told me the whole story.

What had happened on their patio the day of the crash…

I listened with wide eyes.

Dad stayed quiet, just wiping away tear after tear as Father spoke about Snow and Summer, how they pulled off a miracle, how my parents tried to get in touch with Jacob, how Dad insisted they drive to DevApp and wait there for an entire week, refusing to leave until Blue finally helped him get to Jacob.

I sat frozen, staring at them, struggling to believe what I was hearing.

"Pull over," I said quietly.

Father eased the car to the side of the road.

I jumped out from the back seat, swung open the door on Dad’s side, and before he could react, I hauled him out of his seat, lifted him up, and spun him around twice in a tight circle.

"Winnie! Put me down, sweetheart, you’re gonna throw your back out!" he laughed, half-scolding.

Father got out too, walking over to us. That’s when it hit me, when I couldn’t hold back anymore.

"Thank you, Dad," I murmured. "For not giving up on me. If it hadn’t been for you, we’d still be on that island… and with the volcano erupting…" I trailed off.

He didn’t say a word, just pulled me into a tight hug.

"And you too, Father. Thank you for standing by him. I can imagine everyone in the DevApp lobby looking at you two like lunatics."

"Your dad believed it," Father said calmly. "That was enough for me."

I reached for him too, and soon the three of us were standing there, arms wrapped around one another.

Somehow it didn’t feel strange, even though I didn’t hug people often.

Lately… only Sariel.

Did something crack in me on the island for good? Or maybe healed would be a better word? I allowed myself to feel it, their love. That unique, absolute love only parents can give. Boundless. Unconditional. And for the first time, I really understood what they’d been trying to tell me with this embrace.

I mattered.

"Thank you for not letting me be forgotten," I whispered, my voice shaking. "For fighting until the very end."

Dad tilted his head back to look at me.

"Winnie, how could we ever give up? We never would have!"

"I used to think you didn’t care," I muttered. "I’m just a beta, right? Second choice. The one nobody wants. The infertile child…"

Father let out a sharp, angry sound, a rare burst of emotion from someone usually so composed, and Dad nearly crushed me with his hands on my shoulders.

"How can you say that, Winter!? You’re my blood. You grew under my heart, listening to its song. You’re a part of me, Winnie! Beta or not, you’re my child. I love you so much…"

Father shook his head, clearly upset. "Winter, our love doesn’t hinge on gender. Or whether you’ll have kids. That’s never what mattered. You matter. You’re part of us, and we’re so damn proud of you, son!"

"Blue Lowen sent us a text yesterday evening. One word: FOUND! It was… like a star falling from the sky. We cried for a few hours. We’re so happy you’re back with us…"

I couldn’t respond. My throat was too tight.

"Let’s go," I muttered finally. "Because I really need to talk to Snow and Summer!"

They exchanged a glance. I’d find out why soon enough.

When we pulled into the driveway, Snow’s car was already there. He must’ve gotten home from the airport a few minutes before us.

Feeling impatient, I rushed into the house, searching for him, and found him out on the patio, sitting with Summer, who was sipping tea.

"I know everything!" I called out, spreading my arms. I hurried toward them, only for Summer’s eyes to flash with panic.

He shot to his feet.

"I just wanted to say thank you, for saving my life…" I began, but like a startled deer, he bolted, straight through the patio door and disappeared inside the house.

My jaw dropped.

Snow slowly got to his feet, calm as ever, and started to walk toward the house as well, but I grabbed his arm.

"Snow, what the hell? I just wanted to thank you! You both saved my life! I wasn’t trying to scare—"

Snow glanced down at my hand on his arm. I let go immediately.

"There’s no need to thank us," he said. "I’m just glad you’re back."

And with that, he walked past me and went inside. A bit dazed, I stood on the patio, staring at his figure disappearing into the house. Yep. My brother Snow in a nutshell.

It was the first moment of solitude I’d had since landing at the airport.

Then… I realized. Somewhere deep down, my body was trembling, something was wrong, deeply wrong. A vast emptiness, like an abyss, was opening in my chest.

But I forced myself to pull it together and went back into the kitchen, where my parents were already pulling snacks from the fridge for dinner.

Soon, the conversation picked up again, and once more they were urging me to stay with them for a few days. I agreed, to give myself a smoother transition between the emotional chaos of returning and settling back into my old life.

My parents also told me the airline had informed them that both Sariel and I would be receiving a fairly large compensation, even though they weren’t directly responsible for the crash. But since the rescue operation had been called off, and we’d spent three weeks in harsh conditions without any assistance, the airline’s owner decided to make it up to us. I had a feeling the passenger name ‘Lowen’ wasn’t exactly irrelevant.

This news was reassuring, I was hoping that with that amount, I could finally pay off my mortgage, and my entire salary would finally go straight into my own pocket.

As the excitement of the first few hours wore off, the emptiness began to creep back in.

By evening, I already felt… oddly numb.

The conversation with the psychologist began to loop in my mind, stubbornly, gratingly.

I was sitting with my family on the patio. Father was grilling, Snow played his harmonica, Summer sat in silence, staring into the fire, and Bay chatted with Uncle Van, who, as always, tried to dominate the conversation. My dad was pouring tea, serving snacks, and smiling the whole time. That worked in my favor, since my mind couldn’t settle enough to focus on whatever they were talking about.

That damn conversation from the plane kept replaying in my head.

The way that psychologist insisted my relationship with Sariel was nothing more than a byproduct of necessity. Something born out of survival instinct. Could it be true? Everything in me protested, resisted.

Now that we were back on solid ground, we were supposed to return to our separate lives. According to him, that was the healthiest option. The best path forward.

My phone was working again, and I found myself just staring at the screen, unsure what to do. Would it be smart to call him? Text him? Maybe not on the first day… he was probably overwhelmed, meeting with his family, trying to process everything.

After some hesitation, I put the phone in my pocket.

It was better to wait. Give him space. He’d likely been fed the same line of ‘therapeutic advice’ I had. Maybe he needed time to think things through, and then, maybe we could decide together. And deep down, I felt the next move should be his.

***

The next morning, I got a call from Jacob.

The conversation was stiff. Formal. I was tense the entire time, still haunted by the strange ‘brainwashing’ he’d set up for me on the plane.

Jacob said he was grateful we’d been found alive and thanked me for helping his son survive on the island. He also told me that whenever I felt ready, physically and mentally, my old job at the company would be waiting for me.

It was a massive relief. I told him I just needed a few days to get my head straight, but I’d be back soon.

He assured me that was perfectly fine, and that he was glad, I’d be taking over for Manager Lorens, who’d been filling in for me and was apparently drowning in reports and analyses. The workload was too much for him.

I also asked about the Beta Activation Program. As it turned out, for DevApp, losing two employees had just been another bump in the road. Lorens and Werner flew to Japan a week after the crash to replace Sariel and me. The project was already back on track.

Everything had just… moved on. As if I’d never disappeared at all.

Maybe that was a good thing? Maybe it would make going back feel easier.

But one thing still bothered me:

Sariel.

Jacob didn’t mention him. Not even once, except for that brief moment when he formally thanked me for ‘helping his son’. The way he said it, like Sariel and I were strangers and I’d done him a favor, it felt cold, and it further confirmed my suspicion that Jacob had been the one to send the psychologist.

But I didn’t push it.

He told me he was looking forward to a longer conversation, but he was about to leave town to meet with a government official.

They were planning a new initiative called Strong Start, a program aimed at encouraging college students to start families, in an effort to counteract the growing influence of the Beta Empowerment and NotFromHere initiatives. It would offer financial support and housing assistance to couples planning to marry after graduation. DevApp would be involved in building an app to collect and manage applicants, so Jacob was supposed to discuss the finer details of the deal.

When the call ended, I just sat there, staring at the phone.

What now?

I glanced at the list of contacts, and Sariel’s name sat right at the top.

Me, always the one who planned everything, now felt like I was floating in a void.

I didn’t know how to act, or what to feel. That whole airplane brainwashing had thrown me completely off. The vibe surrounding our return felt heavy. Too official. Jacob was already involved, already trying to shape the narrative.

They all wanted me to start preparing to fall back into the old rhythm of my life. To pretend that none of this mattered.

Was everything that happened on the island just… over? Like a book you finish, close, and never think about again?

Maybe that was the only logical way to move forward?

The thought made my heart race. Something inside me twisted with anxiety.

Goddammit, Winter, I thought. You’ve never let yourself get attached before. And now you’ve gone and fallen for this beautiful, wild, unique kid, who might, in six months, decide he needs a new experience and toss an aging albino beta like you aside without hesitation?

Back in the real world, Sariel probably saw it too. He had way more options now than just me.

Or was I misjudging him unfairly?

Should what happened on the island… stay on the island, or should I do something crazy?

After some brooding, I came to the conclusion that this chapter was most likely closed. Dramatic. Terrifying. Beautiful. But it had no easy path forward.

Fuck. That thought hurt. It hurt so goddamn much, it felt like a knife twisting in my chest with every heartbeat.

So I lay in bed, tossing from side to side, my heart pounding, my stomach churning.

The moments we shared; fighting to survive, holding each other up, building something real in the middle of chaos…

As I closed my eyes, I could feel it still, his kisses over my face, tender and soft.

Was it really just going to disappear into nothing? Dismissed by others as just codependency? A survival bond?

That’s what they wanted me to believe.

But my heart?

My heart hated that idea.

***