Page 35
I woke up from a deep sleep that felt more like unconsciousness. My eyelids were heavy, but I forced them open. Pale, grayish morning light filtered through.
For a moment, I didn’t know where I was or why I was lying in a cave. Dizzy, I stared at the dark ceiling, listening to the faint gurgling of the stream. It was almost soothing, inviting me to drift back into sleep and… never wake up again?
Wait…
Awareness crept back slowly; where I was, what was happening, what time of day it was.
Dawn. Gray light? Already? I had gone to sleep in the afternoon!
I glanced around. Where was Sariel?
"Sariel?"
Silence.
I slowly sat up. Every movement felt like a struggle, almost physically painful. Yesterday, I had eaten only a tiny portion of the tree bark paste Sariel had given me. And now, another day was starting in this endless calorie deficit I had been living in for nine—maybe ten?—days. I was losing track.
My clothes hung near the fire pit, which had long since burned out. They were still damp, but the blankets I usually wrapped myself in when stepping outside were downright soaked. The only dry one was the blanket I had slept under.
Then it hit me: why hadn’t Sariel returned?
I knew for certain that he hadn’t been here all night.
A tight knot of fear clenched in my chest. Was he still out there searching for food? How had he survived the cold, exposed to the freezing wind and night temperatures?
I knew that the Kuril Islands had a cold maritime climate, influenced by ocean currents. Sure, nighttime temperatures weren’t as extreme as on the mainland, the ocean evened out the fluctuations a bit. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t below freezing. By my estimate, it could have been around 28°F (-2°C), which was still dangerously low.
Where was he?
Where was he?
Where was he?!
The thought drilled into my skull.
I tried to stand, but I swayed, barely catching myself against the cave wall as I straighten up with effort. My body was so weak, it felt like I had turned into a flimsy reed, ready to bend under the slightest breeze.
With great difficulty, I stuffed water bottles into my jacket pockets, then wrapped myself in the last dry blanket.
I bundled the rest of the wet clothes into a ball and tucked them under my arm. At least they weren’t freezing cold, just damp from the humid cave air.
I knew I wouldn’t get far unless I dried my clothes, but climbing up the volcano felt impossible in my condition.
My body was fighting even the idea of physical effort, and I hesitated.
But then I thought, if I didn’t go, if I didn’t find Sariel, then neither of us would ever go anywhere again.
And no one would ever find us.
That would be the end.
I gathered everything I had left inside me, every last trace of will to live, every last shred of strength, and poured it all into a single desperate act: climbing up the volcano’s slope toward the warm stones.
I moved forward solely on sheer willpower, driven by one thought alone: I had to find Sariel. My heart pounded in my chest, struggling to push blood through my veins, but it fought on. I couldn’t give up. I knew I would probably die trying, but I wasn’t going to stop.
Walking at a snail’s pace, step by step, I plodded on, so slowly that by the time I finally reached the stones, the sun had already climbed higher into the sky. Gasping for breath, I spread out my clothes, blankets, and socks on the warm surface, then pressed myself against one of the less hot rocks to avoid burning my skin.
I lay there, staring at the sky, which was mercifully clear that day. I didn’t even look for drones. They had long since forgotten about us. Nine or ten days in this climate? There wasn’t the slightest chance of finding any survivors. The search teams had probably even stopped looking for the wreckage by now. The case was closed. The families had mourned their dead loved ones and moved on with their lives.
My parents had probably come to terms with my death, too. They had seven other children, and I…well, I was a beta, a dead-end branch in the family tree. What kind of loss was that? Probably the least painful of all their children.
A few more days, a week, maybe two, and they would go on living their lives, day after day, forgetting that I had ever walked among them.
Those self-torturing thoughts ripped painfully through my mind as I lay on the warm rock beneath the indifferent, pale-blue sky.
On the other hand, I knew I wasn’t in the best state, especially my mind. I couldn’t think clearly. But what else was I supposed to think about? Hunger? That made no sense. Hunger had become me. It was my second name.
It had sunk into every cell of my body, devouring me from the inside, replacing me bit by bit. But there was still one place it hadn’t reached: my heart .
My heart was still beating, still refusing to surrender.
I realized that whether or not I found Sariel depended entirely on it.
I pressed a hand to my chest, listening to its dull, steady thud. It was still fighting, still trying, still telling death ‘no’, and I took a deep breath, calming down a bit.
The clothes were dry. I started pulling them on. Their pleasant warmth seeped into my weakened body, giving me a tiny bit of strength, but only a little.
I set off along the slope, heading straight for the beach without even going down into the canyon. It took me about half an hour to reach the shore, sipping small amounts of water from my bottle as I walked.
Sariel wasn’t there. That didn’t really surprise me. I scanned the sand carefully, analyzing every detail, and then I saw them. His footprints.
They led toward the cape, a place I had never gone before. Jagged cliffs rose up there, not very tall, but rough and steep. I had no idea if I could get past them.
Maybe he went looking for bird eggs? The thought lodged itself in my brain and wouldn’t leave.
The journey to it seemed impossible to complete, not in my state. For a while, I just stood there, staring blankly at the long nose of the cape, forgetting what I was even doing.
Finally, I made one step, wobbly, then another. And just like that, I started gradually shortening the distance.
It took me nearly an hour to reach the cape. It was maybe six hundred yards, and I dragged myself forward, step by step, my body nearly collapsing with every movement. Sometimes I had to sit down and rest. Every time I got up again, it became harder.
There were moments when I lay down on the rocks and drifted off. Then, with immense effort, I forced myself to wake up again, even though my body protested.
Eventually, it got to the point where I started arguing with myself.
"Move, you idiot. Do you want to spend the whole night here on the beach? By morning, the seals will crawl out of the water and devour your half-starved corpse."
A second voice answered, "Leave me alone. I just need to take a quick nap, recover my strength. Then I’ll get up again…"
"You won’t move. You’ll stay right here. That’s how starvation works. You just stop moving. You curl up, tell yourself it’s only for a moment, but you never wake up. It’s just like hypothermia. You drift off into a blissful sleep… and that sleep turns into an eternal one."
Then I pressed my hand against my chest and heard that dull, steady pounding.
My heart was whispering, pleading, begging…
"Keep going, Winter. Keep moving forward, Winter. Don’t give up! Never give up!"
Fight.
Fight for every step.
Fight for every inch.
Fight for every breath.
Fight… so you can see him again.
Sariel.
At last, when the sun was high in the sky, probably around 10 am, I reached the rocky cape. Standing beneath it, I glared hatefully at the dark rocks. I was almost certain that Sariel had climbed over them.
But how the hell was I supposed to do that?
My body was wrecked, a walking skeleton.
One more effort. Could I make one last effort?
And my heart answered: "Yes, you can . Find Sariel. You have to find him. He needs you."
With trembling hands, I reached out to the rock face and slowly started climbing its uneven surface.
I had a strange sensation that every movement I made wasn’t really mine, like I was just a puppet being controlled by someone else. My awareness seemed to be slipping out of my body, leaving it behind like an unwanted, uncomfortable shell.
Honestly, I didn't even know how I made it to the top of the cliff.
I saw that beyond the cape, there were more small coves stretching ahead. Luckily, there weren’t any bigger cliffs in my way, just more sandy beaches to cross.
I tried to stay focused on what I was doing, but my arms and legs moved on their own, while my soul seemed to hover about five feet away from my body, unmoored.
By the time I reached the next beach, at least another half hour had passed. I drank two-thirds of my water bottle, hoping it would give me some energy, but of course, it didn’t. At this point, it just flowed through me like air, leaving no trace behind.
But then, one thing gave me a shred of hope.
Footprints in the sand reappeared. Human footprints.
They had to be Sariel’s.
Head down, I followed them step by step, placing my feet in the depressions he had left behind.
Funny… It was almost as if we were connected somehow.
I tried to smile at the thought, but my face felt like a mask, conserving energy.
And then another realization began creeping into my mind. Sariel hadn’t come back. So something must have happened.
Was I walking toward his body? The thought struck me like a whip, I shuddered and froze in place.
Should I keep going? To find his lifeless body, whatever had happened to him? Maybe he had tried to wade into the water for a large clam, slipped, and been taken by the waves. Or maybe he tripped, broke his leg, and froze to death. Then a thought crossed my mind, if I found him, I would lie down beside him and die there too. We would die together. I would just fall asleep next to his body.
With that decision made, I pressed forward, a part of my mind instructing me not to dwell on grim scenarios, not to weaken my resolve. Because I couldn’t stop.
And my heart, beating faintly but still beating, kept trying, step by step, step by step, just one more, then twenty more, then forty more…
I passed the second cove, staggering as I neared the third. Walking was no longer just walking, it felt like moving through a foggy trance.
I imagined I was playing a video game, controlling a tiny skeletal figure as it trudged across an empty beach. I called it ‘Rescue Mission’. I set waypoints—first one rock, then another a little farther, then another step, then another.
The little figure kept moving, but its energy bar was steadily draining. I knew it was only a matter of time before the game logged me out. Except this time, there were no respawn points.
At last, the little figure reached a pile of gravel separating it from the third cove. Its gaze drifted over the unfamiliar landscape, staring blankly.
And then the game froze.
Because I saw something. Something strange. Immediately, my mind snapped back into awareness.
In front of me was a shallow coastal lagoon, likely fed by the tide from time to time, but mainly created by a small stream flowing down into the valley.
The footprints in the sand were unmistakable: Sariel had been here.
I followed them, but as the sand gave way to gravel and then to a stretch of grass, the tracks became harder to trace. I halted, scanning my surroundings again.
The valley seemed to create a kind of microclimate, warmed by the presence of multiple thermal pools. The volcanic nature of the island shaped its environment in fascinating ways.
I might have taken more time to reflect on the uniqueness of this place, if not for the one thought consuming me: finding Minty.
Could something have happened to him here? The pools were shallow. And as far as I knew, Sariel could swim.
The valley sloped gently upward, enclosed by grassy hills. I kept looking around. There wasn’t much snow, just a few patches higher up the slopes. Interesting.
Aside from one cliff to my left, there weren’t any obvious dangers.
My gaze slowly swept across it. It was about eighty feet tall, accessible from a sloping hillside that merged into its rock face.
And then, my eyes caught something.
Something gray.
Huddled.
Clinging to the cliff.
Was it a large gray bird? Or something else?
I stared, but my vision blurred. I had to get closer to see clearly.
With every step, my heart pounded harder. "Yes, go closer," it whispered. "Go closer. Find out what it is."
Could it be a person? A human figure crouched on a rocky ledge?
But if it was… who else could it be?
My sluggish mind struggled to grasp the situation. Everything was sinking in far too slowly. How would Sariel have ended up on a cliff? What would he be doing there?
Then I heard the cries of birds. The sound triggered a thought: had he gone up there looking for eggs? Could the answer be that simple?
My brain pieced things together at a frustratingly slow pace. My mouth hung slightly open as I stared. Finally, my gaze swept the cliff, searching for a way up.
A second thought churned in my mind.
Could Sariel have survived?
Could he still be alive after spending the entire night clinging to that freezing cliff, battered by the wind, trapped in an unnatural position?
It seemed impossible. Would I find a frozen corpse, stuck to the rock only because stiff, dead fingers had latched onto the jagged stone?
I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it.
My heart refused to believe it.
But how was I supposed to reach him? My foggy mind struggled for a solution, sluggish and uncooperative. Almost on instinct, I began moving toward the slope that seemed to lead up the cliff.
Sariel had gotten up there somehow, surely, I could too. It was the obvious conclusion, but it still took me too long to reach it. I tried to assess whether the path was climbable.
It had to be. There was no other possibility.
God, I was so slow!
My body reacted with a miserable delay. I would tell it to move a foot, and there would be a pause before it actually responded. It felt like the sun had shifted noticeably toward the horizon since I’d started climbing.
It must have been around one o’clock by now.
What was I even doing here?
There were moments when I just stopped, standing in place, completely blank, not knowing why I was here. My mind would shut off. A part of me knew my brain was starting to betray me.
But betray who, exactly? Me?
Each time, I pressed my hands against my chest, desperate for something to hold onto, and every time, I heard that faint, steady thumping. It grounded me, snapped me back into consciousness, even if only for a moment.
Sariel.
I had to reach him at all costs. I had to find out if he was still alive.
He had come back for me when I lay unconscious on the beach. I owed him.
Wobbling, I forced myself onward, climbing toward the top of the cliff, keeping in mind where I had last seen him. I followed that general direction, startling a few birds into flight and spotting empty nests along the way.
Sariel must have been searching through them. Brave Sariel. He hadn’t given up on his mission to find food… Good kid. He fought for us. He fought with everything he had.
I had to reach him!
Whether he was nothing more than a frozen corpse or still breathing, I had to touch him, just one last time.
I had no idea how long the climb took. Probably another hour, despite the fact that the cliff wasn’t that high.
All I knew was that eventually, I made it to the top, blinking dazedly at my surroundings.
Right away, I spotted the area where Sariel must have slid down. It was part rock, part mud. Snow must have fallen there recently creating a thin, treacherous layer that could easily be hiding ice.
I had to think this through, or I’d go sliding right down onto him, and we’d both tumble off the cliff together.
But how was I supposed to think when my brain barely functioned?
When it kept shutting off every few minutes, leaving me almost catatonic?
And to think—I’d always had such a sharp mind. I’d been great at math. I’d been an excellent programmer—not to brag.
So I had to find a solution.
A large, wide rock. My eyes fixed on it. In theory, I could secure a rope around it. But I didn’t have a rope. There was no way I could shred my blanket either, not without a sharp knife. And I didn’t have the strength in my hands to tear it apart with brute force. That idea was out.
But maybe… maybe I could tie all the blankets together. Maybe add my jacket? Even my pants if needed?
That sounded… doable.
I got to work, peeling the blankets off my shoulders, stripping off my jacket. It was cold, but since the sun was still fairly high, it wasn’t completely freezing.
I wrapped one blanket around the rock, tied it as tight as I could, then secured another blanket to it, and at the very end, I fastened one of my jacket sleeves.
Gripping it, I began lowering myself toward the cliff’s edge.
After a moment of slow, careful maneuvering, fighting against my sluggish body, I finally peeked over the ledge.
I was about nine feet above Sariel.
He was motionless, pressed against the cliff in an awkward position.
Was he… alive?
One thing gave me a shred of hope, the cliff faced south. Which meant the sun had shone on him all day.
Maybe—maybe—he had a chance.
But how was I supposed to get him out of there?
He was curled up on a narrow ledge. But what… if he stood on his toes?
"Sariel?"
Silence.
My heartbeat sped up.
"Sariel?!"
I was shocked by how weak my voice sounded, even though I’d put effort into it: it came out hoarse, uncertain. Maybe that’s why he didn’t hear me. I tried again.
"Sariel!!!"
This time, something stronger tore from my lungs.
And then, his motionless figure twitched.
Immense relief surged through me, so strong I barely registered it before dizziness threatened to knock me out again.
Slowly, his head lifted.
He looked at me.
And for a second, I felt like I wasn’t looking at my Sariel anymore.
His eyes were pale, just like his entire face. His lips were dry and cracked. He stared at me as if I were a ghost, a hallucination. And maybe that’s exactly what I looked like to him.
"You came…" he mumbled.
"I did…"
His eyelashes trembled. "I… I gave up. I was… getting ready to die."
"But I came," I whispered. "I had to. You didn’t come back last night, Sariel… I was scared for you."
We spoke in broken sentences, too exhausted to manage more.
"I found food, Winter," he murmured. "We’re saved."
"That’s… great." I was surprised by how little enthusiasm I could muster. "But first, we need to get you out of there."
I shifted back a little, yanked off my pants, and tied them to the end of my jacket sleeve.
Then I dropped them down.
The ice-cold rock beneath me sent shivers through my body, but I ignored it.
"Grab on," I said.
Sariel straightened slightly. And that’s when I saw it: when he stood on his toes, his hands were just about within reach of the cliff’s slippery edge.
He grasped the fabric and, using one leg and his free hand for support, began pulling himself up.
I was stunned at how strong and coordinated he still was! I could never have done that in this state of starvation.
Then, after a moment, I realized why Sariel still had so much strength.
Something large and gray was bulging against his back.
Food.
He had food with him.
He was freezing here, but he wasn’t hungry!
That must have been giving him just enough energy to keep his body from completely shutting down, keeping him warm from the inside.
The moment Sariel made it onto the safe side of the cliff, he grabbed me, pulling me away from the edge, backing us up several feet—
And then—
He sprang right into action!
No hesitation, he untied my pants and jacket from the makeshift rope and put them back on me. Then he wrapped me in blankets.
It was incredible to have someone else handling things for once, someone else putting in the effort.
A second later, he reached into his makeshift pack.
"Open your mouth, Winter. I fell off that damn cliff for these eggs. A few broke, but some are still intact. They’d better be worth it."
I opened my mouth.
And Sariel poured life into me.
That was the only way to describe it.
Life.
First, he fed me two eggs, one after the other. Then he opened a clam and gave me the meat. After that, he handed me some kind of crushed root, I had no idea what it was.
"I have more," he said, "but you shouldn’t eat too much all at once. Your stomach’s probably shrunk, you’ll be in agony. I know because I went through it all night. I gorged on clams and eggs, and it was hell. The only thing that helped even a little was this, cattail root."
I just listened, lying in his arms now, staring up at his face. His delicate blue freckles stood out against his skin, lit by the sunlight behind him.
He almost looked like an angel.
"You came back for me, Winter. You saved me!" His voice was thick with emotion. "I don’t even know how you managed to get here, how you dragged yourself up that cliff in your condition, but you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. By far! I’m not kidding when I say you’re my hero, Winter."
"It wasn’t me," I whispered. "It was my heart. It had to see you again, no matter how, no matter where."
Silence settled over us.
Then, I saw them, two clear crystal tears slipping from Sariel’s eyes, falling onto my cheeks.
"I’m so-so-so… happy you came," he murmured. "And on top of that, Winter, we’re saved! There’s so much food here, these lakes are brimming with clams, shrimp, even fish! And there are eggs! There’s enough to last us for weeks!"
He kept rambling, but I only half-heard him. Finally, I let out a quiet laugh. The food in my stomach… I could feel it there. Like some foreign object that didn’t belong. My insides twisted around it. Even though it wasn’t much, it felt like I had swallowed stones.
Sariel watched me closely.
"My God, you’re so thin, Winter…" His voice was tight. "But we’ll fix that soon. We’ll get back to how we used to be. This volcano… it might be a curse, but in a way, it’s also a blessing." He looked around. "It brought life to this valley."
"My stomach," I groaned, pressing a hand to my belly. "It’s… a shock."
"I know. But trust me, it won’t be that bad. I ate way more than you, and I spent the whole night dealing with bloating and nausea. But weirdly… it probably saved me. It kept me awake. If I’d fallen asleep, I might’ve slipped off the ledge entirely. So… I guess it worked out for the best."
I let out a tired murmur. "What now?" I had no desire to leave his arms.
Sariel looked around.
"To be honest… I don’t have a solid plan yet." He exhaled. "I was kind of hoping you’d figure it out, you’re good at that. There’s plenty of food here, but no caves to shelter in."
I turned my face toward the valley with effort.
"I say we stay here until nightfall," I suggested. "Once we regain some strength, we’ll head back to the cave. If the food gives us even a little energy, we should be able to make it in about an hour and a half. We’ll take enough supplies to last two days, and once we’re stronger, we’ll come back for more."
Sariel’s face lit up. "That’s a great plan, Winter."
He grinned wide, then leaned in and pressed the softest kisses to my cheek.
I could get used to this. Maybe… I could even like it.
Table of Contents
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- Page 35 (Reading here)
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