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My leg hurt like hell.
Seriously, it was pure torture, though I really tried not to show it. I hoped with all my heart that nothing was broken inside, that it was just a sprain.
Fortunately, after Winter had immobilized it, it was a little more bearable. And I could now walk, supported by him, awkwardly jumping and limping.
Before we started down, when Winter was out scouting the area, I’d taken a painkiller to survive the trek to the cave. I didn’t want to take too much, I had no idea what the next few days would be like. Would the rescue team show up? Maybe I’d need more pills later.
While we were making our way down the slope, I didn’t say any of this out loud, but the longer I thought about it, the more I became convinced that the search teams wouldn’t be looking for us anytime soon. Why would they need to hurry? A plane explosion at such a high altitude, probably nobody expected any survivors. But I didn’t want to be too pessimistic in front of Winter.
Thankfully, with the painkiller kicking in, my mood improved slightly, and we finally reached the ravine. I was pleasantly surprised. In the gentle canyon, there was indeed a hot spring outlet, and the water was wonderfully warm!
When we entered the cave, the hot temperature almost hit me in the face. It turned out that the cave was wide enough, almost like a broad tunnel, that we could move around freely. The mattresses were already on the ground in one of the farthest sections, where it was nice and cozy. I could easily toss off the blankets, and I immediately lay down on one of the mattresses with a neck roll that Winter had found in one of the cupboards.
Winter stood for a moment, looking at me from above, then said, "I think I should go wander around the meadows during the day, just in case anyone’s flying by."
That meant he wouldn’t be here. I felt a wave of anxiety at that prospect.
"There’s a cold wind, the temperature is probably around freezing, and you shouldn’t be out there for too long," I said, studying him carefully.
Winter was still wrapped in blankets, just like I had been before, and his pale silver eyes rested on my face. It was hard to read what he was thinking, but on some level, I just sensed it.
He was worried, uneasy, and he seemed to be taking the whole situation even more seriously than I was. At the edge of my subconscious, there was also a nagging feeling that things weren’t looking good, but I just didn't want to dwell on it right now.
"It’s the first day. The teams may be close, actively searching. It’s just a matter of how far from us the plane crashed," he said.
I hesitated, but before I knew it, it slipped out: "Winter, they might know the plane exploded midair. After the explosion, we didn’t fall straight down. The pilot must have had time to notify air traffic control that something happened. If so, they know it happened at cruising altitude."
Winter’s face was seemingly calm, but I could tell he was hiding something.
I continued, my tone grim and almost masochistic. "35,000 feet. No one could have survived that."
Winter closed his eyes for a moment, then said, "There will definitely be teams searching for the plane wreckage. They’ll try to access the black box, collect parts of the fuselage, figure out the cause of the crash."
"There’s no point in looking for people in January temperatures in the northern waters. How long could they last? Half an hour? I doubt even that. And they know it too."
Winter exhaled and looked away toward the cave entrance.
"Let’s focus on the positives and stick to the plan: scouting, and looking for the rescue team. I’ll try to climb the slope of this volcano. That’ll give me a better vantage point. Maybe we’ll be able to figure out if this is an island or the mainland. If we’re on the Kamchatka Peninsula, we might eventually reach regions with stations or cities."
We both fell silent for a while.
"Have you thought about them?" I had to ask.
"The passengers?"
"Yeah."
There was a long pause. "I find solace in the fact that we survived. Because maybe some others did too?" He hesitated. "But yeah, it’s unlikely many made it out. The rest… perished." He shook his head, a grim look in his eyes.
"I also think about the ones who will get the news. About our deaths."
A look of pain and sadness passed over Winter’s face, a grimace I hadn’t seen before, but he quickly regained his usual composed expression.
"They probably don’t know what exactly happened. Maybe they’re still holding on to hope."
"That’ll change fast. Every hour reduces our chances and dashes their hope."
Winter slowly nodded. He was avoiding my gaze again.
"Yes, it will be a blow for our families," he said in a very formal tone, almost like he was offering condolences himself. It seemed like he was trying to distance himself emotionally from the situation.
"Not so sure about that. My father probably won’t even shed a tear. He always thought I was a loser, a bad apple. Now it’s simple for him, Vren will take over DevApp. My twin brother’s most likely celebrating right now."
Winter furrowed his brow, his lips tightening before he spoke.
"That’s not true, Sariel. Jacob believed that if you found something you were passionate about, you could be great at it. I know you have pretty impressive potential as a designer. And I don’t think you’re being fair to him. There’s no parent who wouldn’t feel the pain of losing a child."
A sudden, almost overwhelming bitterness filled me, enough that I decided to change the subject, just to get rid of the feeling. Winter clearly saw my father differently than I did.
He looked toward the cave entrance, seemingly impatient, as if he thought that being here with me might limit our chances of being found, but I desperately wanted him to stay, against my better judgment.
"So… what about your family? You thinking about them right now?"
He answered slowly, his tone measured. "My parents… this will probably break their hearts. They already lost River when he ran away. My dad still suffers because of that. He had eight children, now he has six."
"Your parents are True Mates, right?"
"Yeah."
"Take comfort in that thought. They have each other, their Bond will help them get through this."
Another glance toward the entrance.
"I hope so," he muttered, looking pensive. "Because I don’t want to add to his suffering. My dad is a wonderful person. He loves us all as much as he possibly can." Was it just me, or did his voice waver slightly? "For his sake, I really want us to be found as soon as possible." He suddenly stopped. "That’s why I should go now. If they send out drones, there’s a chance one of them might notice me."
Abruptly, he turned around and walked out, like he didn’t want to dwell on our families anymore. I was left alone in the cave, with all my negative thoughts boiling inside.
For a moment, I just sat there, tense, digesting it all, letting it sink in. Only then did I slowly look around, scanning the cave.
It was really comfortable here, even the walls seemed to radiate a bit of heat, but there was one factor that wouldn’t let me relax.
My leg hurt like hell.
It was simply impossible to rest. It was like my whole body was strained, disturbed. I’d come to the depressing conclusion that until we were found, I wouldn’t be able to let go of that tension… not even for a moment.
But as I lay there, stretched out on the mattress and staring at the rocky ceiling, I felt something strange in my abdomen, something very unexpected, that definitely shouldn’t have been happening in this situation.
And I had… a disturbing wetness around my anus, a slight clenching sensation inside.
"What the hell?" I muttered.
This was not a good omen. I knew exactly under what circumstances my body would behave like this. It was when the heat was approaching.
I’d already gone through four of them since I was nineteen, so I knew the early signs well. I hadn’t expected it to come for another few months, but…
For fuck’s sake!
Stop it, Sariel . Just stop thinking about it. It’s just stress, this is all just stress and disorientation from what happened.
Heat wouldn’t be cruel enough to hit me on some lost volcanic patch of land at the ends of the earth, right?
So I decided to will it out of my system, to shut down the early signs for the time being, hoping—silly as it seemed—that it would be enough.
***
I felt like I had drifted into a light sleep for a while because I woke up feeling Winter’s hand on my shoulder.
"Sariel?"
"Winter? What’s going on?"
For a moment, I hoped it was just a bad dream, that I wasn’t really in this cave, stranded God knows where, after a plane crash. But, of course, that was sadly the reality.
Winter’s flushed face hovered over me. "How are you feeling?"
I focused inwardly on my body. I didn’t feel that bad, aside from the dull pain in my leg and the increasing moisture in my hole. The painkiller was still working, obviously.
The problem was, I really wanted Winter’s hand to stay on my shoulder longer, but he pulled back and sat down near my legs on the other mattress.
"I was close to the caldera of the volcano."
"Oh? And what did you find?"
He frowned slightly.
"Bad news. We’re on an island, and it’s basically a cone. The volcano seems quite… active. I didn’t go into the caldera itself, but I could see signs of recent lava flows on the slopes. There’s steam rising from the crater’s edge. This is probably why this stream is warm; volcanic activity is still ongoing here."
"So the island isn’t big?"
"No, it’s basically one volcano and maybe two or three miles of meadows stretching out from one side of the peak. I couldn’t see everything because part of it was blocked by a rocky ridge that slopes down to the water. There are a few small groves of stunted trees, which makes me think this might be one of the Kuril Islands. I don’t think the Aleutians have these kinds of thickets."
"Good thing there are any patches of forest at all. We’ll need the wood."
"Yeah, there are also some logs and trunks washed up on the beach. But for now, I gathered branches from the nearest grove and some dry ferns or cattails for kindling."
He turned and pointed to the entrance of the cave, where he’d piled up the branches.
"This is good news because we shouldn’t be drinking untreated water. My uncle Victor always emphasized this. I thought we could boil some water in these cans." He tapped his fingers over one of them.
"Yes, but there are only a few groves nearby. There's no way we can build a big fire. Maybe we should even limit it to just when we're boiling water."
I watched him for a moment. Something in his face made me ask.
"Wait… Are you mentally preparing for a longer stay?"
He seemed flustered, clearly not wanting it to sound that way.
"No, I’m just being cautious. I think in a situation like ours, we should be ready for any possible scenario."
"So, one where no one shows up? The peanuts and snacks run out, the mineral water runs out, what will we eat then, Winter?"
He stared at me for a moment with a slightly absent look, as if he were deeply thinking about something.
"That’s the darkest scenario, Sariel. But… yeah, we need to think about it too. I didn’t see anything useful on the beach, no clams, no shrimp. I don’t even know if they exist in these waters. Fishing without equipment, especially in January, might not be easy."
"Thanks for being honest, Winter. It’s good you’re not sugarcoating it. This isn’t a tropical island with plenty of food sources…"
Winter snorted lightly. "Yeah, well, those stories are always about idyllic places. Funny, I never read any books about castaways on desolate islands with no food."
"Probably because there's nothing to write about, nobody survives on those islands longer than a few days," I muttered sourly.
"Or maybe it's just not a romantic setting for stories. It's all about the daily struggle to survive, not comfortable lounging on golden sands and swimming in blue waters full of fish and shrimp that you can almost snack on right out of the water," Winter added, his face twisting into a sarcastic grimace.
"Yeah, that's probably the reason. Doesn’t sound romantic, not when you're turning into a skeleton."
The weight of my words hung heavily in the air. Not wanting it to totally spoil the mood, I shifted the topic.
"Have you seen anything? Ships? Drones?"
Winter shook his head. "I checked my phone, it's 1 pm now, adjusted for the time zone. I don't know how long it would take for the Coast Guard to organize ships and get here."
"Probably a few hours. Maybe they're not in any rush because they know they're just coming for bodies. And those can wait."
Winter scooted deeper into his side of the mattress and wrapped his arms around his knees. He also removed his blanket, since there was no need for it here, this part of the cave was almost room temperature, though it was still pretty humid.
And so I watched him in silence.
But this time, my gaze was different than usual.
More… like hungry ogling. And I couldn't help it.
It was the heat rearing its head. I could see his profile against the light streaming from the cave entrance about twenty yards away. It was fairly dark, but since I'd been lying here for a while, my eyes had adjusted well.
Winter seemed to be deep in thought, even muttering under his breath for a moment, "The sea is empty as far as the eye can see. The slopes of the volcano aren't covered in thick snow. Makes me think this might be one of the southern Kuril Islands, but there are other islands in the Sea of Okhotsk."
The name didn’t tell me much. I wasn’t into geography, so I just blankly stared at the cave wall.
"There's one more thing, Winter, that we both haven't thought of."
He turned toward me, and from this close, I could clearly see the soft outline of his lips, which caught my attention more than they should have in these grim circumstances. A shiver ran down my back, and warmth spread through me. The closeness of this man's body… I had to steady myself!
"Think about it. Why are we alive?"
He didn’t answer, though he took a deeper breath.
"Gravity is the same everywhere on the planet," I continued. "We fell with those seats, which are really heavy. We should have been going at a crazy speed. I was never good at physics, but I think there's no way we should have survived the crash."
"What are you suggesting?" Winter’s voice grew tense.
"Something strange happened, Winter. You can't deny it… It's a miracle! And if it's a miracle, it means we might not even be as close to the plane's flight path as we thought. Whatever brought us here might have brought us even further."
Winter's face showed a hint of impatience.
"The circumstances are strange, sure. But why would we survive, and not the others? We're not special in any way."
"Someone must have helped us, Winter. There's no way any living being could have survived that crash, it was absolutely impossible."
Winter let out a loud sigh. For some reason, he seemed uneasy.
"You don't know that! Some winds have tornado-strength power. We could’ve been pushed here. Please, Sariel. There’s no point in talking about this right now, okay? We’ll think about it later. For now, let’s focus on our plan."
For a few seconds, I stared at him, trying to understand the source of his uneasy reaction. But I couldn't figure it out.
"You’re probably right. Today’s already brought us enough… emotions," I muttered, giving up.
Winter lightly scratched his chin. My eyes instinctively dropped to his lips.
Again.
It was crazy and wonderful at the same time, the waves crashing through me, the growing tension inside. Damn… What if he turned toward me and kissed me? I’d accept it with open arms, like food for a hungry person, a drink in the desert. I didn’t want anything more than for him to do exactly that right now.
Then… sobering. I forced myself to shake these thoughts. What the hell was I thinking? In our horrible situation?
Then… another realization. Why wasn’t this fucking heat going away?
Should I even try to hide it from Winter? We had so much on our plate already. But it wasn’t something I could run from anyway, if it hit with its full power.
The hell with it!
"Listen. There’s something that could make our situation worse, Winter. Something very inconvenient."
"What could be more inconvenient than being stranded on a deserted island?" Winter gave me a crooked smile.
"I’m going into heat."
Winter visibly flinched. It looked like a strong wave of air hit him. He slowly turned his head toward me. Those bright eyes seemed to look at me as if I had just confessed to being from Krypton.
"Excuse me?"
"Exactly what you heard. I’ve already gone through four heats, and I know how they show up. My body couldn’t have picked a worse moment, I know…" I muttered, making a face.
Winter kept staring at me, like he still couldn’t grasp what I was saying. The silence was uncomfortable and made me feel guilty. I was angry at myself, I hated our situation, and the embarrassment that was growing in me.
"Heat?"
"Yeah." I averted my gaze, looking at the opposite cave wall.
Winter sat there unmoving, maybe still dealing with shock.
"I told you I’m not like other people," I added, speaking more quietly, feeling that suffocating awkwardness hovering around, something I had only ever imagined in moments like this, but now, it was all too real.
"What exactly does that mean in your case?" he muttered, his voice sounding lost. This was rare for Winter, he was usually pretty decisive with his tone.
"It means that for the next two days, I’ll be writhing with desire, Winter." I looked him straight in the eyes as I said it, almost challengingly.
Only then did he look away, his gaze abruptly shifting toward the cave entrance, as if he were about to get up and run, to escape the problem I had just become.
"Maybe they’ll find us before it really kicks in," he muttered in a strained voice.
"Or maybe they won’t find us, and it’ll kick in anyway."
I saw Winter clench and release his fingers, his mind clearly racing. He looked like he wanted to ask something but kept pulling back from it.
Finally, I broke the silence for him.
This had to be said.
"Will you help me, Winter?"
There it was. That desperate proposal. Now he knew I was about to beg him for it, rolling around in the sexual fever, on our hard-earned mattresses.
"I… I’m a beta, Sariel. I won’t be able to go into rut," he muttered, his tone like he was trying to find some small technicality that would make my proposition smoothly go away.
"Something is better than nothing. Even if you just help a little, any relief will be worth its weight in gold."
Winter let out a sharp breath, then stood up, moving away from the mattresses, heading toward the exit. I was sure he was going to leave me in the middle of this unpleasant conversation, but then he suddenly turned around and said,
"This is really unexpected. We're not even in a relationship yet, and now you want me to do something like this?"
We stared at each other for a moment. It hadn't occurred to me before that he could deny me. Was he really refusing? Or was he trying to tell me something else?
"I was going to put all of this off until we got back from Japan…" he whispered, more to himself than to me.
"Sorry for messing with your plan," I mumbled, feeling like an idiot. "But I don’t have control over it, Winter."
"I need to think about it," he said suddenly, his brows furrowed. "Give me a moment."
Then he grabbed his blankets, turned around, and… left!
The second his silhouette disappeared from view, I felt something tighten painfully in my throat, like someone was crushing my neck with a pair of giant pliers.
Shock and fear knocked the air out of me as I realized Winter didn’t want to go through this heat with me.
Whatever happened next would feel forced, even if he agreed, I knew it wouldn’t be because he wanted to, but because he felt obligated.
The feeling of being trapped. Humiliation. Helplessness.
Overwhelmed, I collapsed onto the mattress, feeling my eyes sting before I could even start resisting it. I hated my damn body. Hated its cursed cycles, its dual nature steamrolling over my emotions like a freight train. No choices. No control. Just a biological machine, programmed to function a certain way, no matter how I felt inside.
It could possibly ruin us. Me and Winter. And that would be an even greater tragedy than being castaways on some hellish island.
Table of Contents
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- Page 21 (Reading here)
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