Page 17

Tonight, I had plans to meet Finn. I had finally done it. I’d made up my mind. I needed to talk to him. No putting it off anymore. I knew that whatever was happening between Sariel and me was somehow picking up momentum, even though we hadn’t been seeing each other, and even though I had internally decided to resist him. But I also understood, on another level, that this was a ‘work in progress’—and I needed my head clear. The deal with Finn had to get off my shoulders, making space for whatever was growing between me and Sariel. Even if things were moving in strange intervals, there was a power behind it.

I just knew we'd end up fucking sooner or later. The question was, would it become more? The thought alone made me… slightly panicky.

Before heading to the park to meet Finn, I had another unexpected meeting: Skye dropped by for a bit. He filled me in on fresh news about him and Soren, not that it was a surprise. I’d known for a while that their relationship was… well, written in the stars. Snow had foretold it. And if there was anyone worth listening to, it was my strange brother, he had an uncanny intuition, a kind of inexplicable foresight.

By the time I arrived at the park, Finn was already there, leaning against his car. I’d taken an Uber, unsure if I’d end up having to drink a few farewell shots with him before the night was over. Because that’s what this conversation was about.

Finn looked impeccable and handsome as always, his black hair perfectly styled into a fading mohawk, his gray eyes focused on me.

However, one look at his face told me he already knew why I’d asked to meet him here instead of at my apartment.

He gave me a sad, resigned smile.

"Wanna walk?" I asked.

"Sure," he said. "Lead the way."

We strolled along the wooded paths of the park, following the picturesque shoreline near the white cliffs. The air was crisp and cool, but in a way that felt refreshing rather than unpleasant. I took deep breaths, enjoying the rare moment of connection with nature.

"So, what did you want to talk about, Winter?" Finn asked.

His eyes were slightly unfocused, staring at the cliffs with a restless gaze.

"I think you already know."

"I think I do," he said. "There’s someone else."

"Yes," I admitted. "There’s someone who interests me. But nothing has happened yet. I don’t even know where it's going. It’s completely uncharted territory for me."

Finn raised an eyebrow, though I could tell he wasn’t shocked. Not even upset. This wasn’t like eleven years ago when we first broke up, when his reaction had been actual heartbreak, maybe even hysteria.

"Who is he?"

I stayed silent. I just couldn’t force the words out.

Finn, like all my friends, knew I had never been with an alpha. So how would I explain to him where this change came from? And make it sound casual, like a normal thing, after all the years of alpha-bashing.

When I didn’t answer for a long time, Finn slowed his pace and turned to look at me.

"Winter… who is he?"

"You might be surprised. And maybe you’ll judge me."

Finn studied me for a long moment, his gaze sharp and assessing.

"An alpha?"

"Yes," I pushed out.

Finn’s reaction was stronger than I anticipated. He scoffed, turned abruptly, and started walking ahead with quick, determined strides. I followed after him, feeling like an idiot.

"Well, what a shock. An alpha! You, Winter? Really?"

What could I say to that?

Finn glared at me and grunted, "And to think, through all these years, you always wanted to be the top. But news flash, you had a bottom in you this whole time."

I froze for a second, caught off guard.

"Finn, wow! You really jumped to that part. That’s not the most important thing here."

"Isn’t it?" He let out a bitter laugh. "How many times did we argue about this? And even though you knew I hated it, I still gave in. So, I take it you won’t have a problem giving in this time?"

Frustration surged through me. Seriously? That’s what he was mad about? I expected better from him.

Or maybe… that was what had hurt him the most all along. That I just never really… submitted.

In not even one aspect of our life.

"I’m not in a relationship with him, Finn. I don’t even know if it’ll happen. And that’s where your head went first?"

Looking at his irritated expression, I was suddenly reminded of all the reasons why he and I had never truly worked. There was always something pulling us in different directions.

"You’re going to have to change, Winter. Alphas aren’t like betas and omegas. You’ll quickly find out what the difference is all about."

It just escaped my mouth.

"And you would know! You fucked one. My own brother, Storm."

Silence. A crushing, suffocating silence.

Finn stared at me, stunned. After all these years, after that drunk phone call, I had never, not once, brought this up to him.

"All through our relationship you fought with me about being the top, and yet, when it came down to it, you bent over for my brother. Because let’s be honest, I know you weren’t topping a purple alpha. You spread your legs for him."

He blinked, swallowing hard. He knew I had just ripped that argument right out of his hands.

But I was so over it. Sighing, I spread my hands. "Water under the bridge, Finn. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not even angry. The bottom line is… there are situations where even a top like you makes compromises. So it’s just silly to even make a big deal of it."

The muscles in his jaw twitched. He looked at me, struggling. I could tell he was debating whether to say something cruel, something that would crush my ego.

Then, he took a step back. The fight drained out of him, just a little. Finn wasn’t the kind of person to lose himself in arguments. He always had that level-headed side, the part that made him easy to get along with. His future partner would be lucky to have that quality in him.

It’s just that he and I were like two gears that were slightly misaligned. If someone had adjusted us differently from the start, maybe we could’ve been perfect together. But that tiny misalignment—it was like a grain of sand caught between us, grinding, wearing us down, always causing friction.

That’s why we were standing here now, watching everything between us fall apart.

"I’m sorry. I was just… really mad. I couldn’t stop being mad at you, Winter. For years. Because it always felt like we were this close to being perfect."

"I always felt that too, Finn. Like we were just one step away… but also one step too far."

Finn stared at me for a moment, then exhaled and lifted his gaze toward the cliffs.

"Okay, I’m sorry, Winter, for how I started the conversation. I overreacted. I do appreciate you trying to be fair when it comes to stuff like this. That’s why I didn’t even have to ask, I already knew. You want to be with this guy. If you didn’t, this conversation wouldn’t even be happening."

Boom. He was right. I wasn’t the type to talk about crushes unless I was sure they were going somewhere. So, deep down, did I hope that Sariel and I were about to be more than just fuckbuddies?

"That’s possible," I muttered, gazing away.

He sighed deeply. "So. What do you want me to say now? Give you a blessing, or do you need the usual spiel every beta gives another beta when one of them wants to chase after an alpha?" His eyes fixed on my face.

I chuckled weakly. "Well… Let’s try the spiel. I may need it, to keep myself fully aware of all the downsides."

Finn snorted, then he leaned a bit and said in a lower tone, "So, first thing first, you’re not gonna keep up with an alpha’s sex drive."

Flustered, I scoffed, "You don’t know that, you’ve never seen me at my top game."

Finn blinked, taken aback, since it was an obvious jab at our sex life, which wasn’t exactly exciting. But he cleared his throat, his eyes vacant for a few seconds, before he composed himself and continued with the list of ‘things I should know before dating an alpha’.

"Second, you can’t go into heat, and if alphas don’t go into ruts for years, they get frustrated." He made a small pause, but I had no answer for that.

"And one last thing, that it’s all just temporary, pointless, because sooner or later, he’ll find some omega who lures him in with his scent. We’re BETAS, Winter. We’ll always be the second choice."

Second choice.

That damned phrase, so hurtful. It was built into our identity. Beta. Never the first, always the second. A curse woven into our very name.

"You’re right. He could meet someone else at any moment and leave. But it’s a danger for everyone who hasn’t found their fated mate yet. Every relationship has that risk. Just like ours ended years ago, Finn. Alphas aren’t the only ones who leave."

Finn’s lips twisted into a bitter grimace, then he fell silent for a while, walking, his head up, eyes on the cliffs surrounding Lake Silven.

"You know… I’ve had daydreams where I was one of them. An alpha. The chances of finding my fated mate would be so much greater then. I could just sniff him out…"

His words made me wince a bit.

"And I never wanted to be an alpha. To be honest, I hated them—"

Finn huffed, cutting me off. "Well, what changed then? You’re all over an alpha now, ready to be railed."

I let out a sharp breath.

"I’m not with him, may I remind you. Besides, he told me he’s mostly a bottom. Or at least, that’s what he thinks."

Finn raised an eyebrow. "Thinks? So he’s never actually tried it?"

This wasn’t exactly the smartest topic to discuss, so I grimaced. "I probably shouldn’t be talking about his private life."

"Well, you already started."

"I guess. Whatever. He says he’s a virgin. But keep it to yourself."

"How old is he?"

I cursed under my breath.

"Twenty-two."

Finn’s eyes went wide.

"You’re serious? You want to get involved with a twenty-two-year-old alpha who doesn’t even know what he wants in bed?"

"Finn, for the last time, I am not in a relationship with him! Honestly, I wanted to tell you a little more so you could give me some advice. You’re a rational guy, you could look at this objectively. But I see you’re on the attack."

He shrugged almost helplessly. "Well, you just told me you’re ending our arrangement. Hard to expect me to be thrilled about it."

I stayed silent.

After a moment, Finn sighed and said, "I’m sorry. I’ll drop the snide remarks. Maybe they come from my weird jealousy. If you want to ask me something, I’ll try to be objective."

I wasn’t exactly eager to share all the details anymore, but I forced myself to mutter, "This is… an awkward situation. Because of the work dynamic. He’s my subordinate."

Finn raised his eyebrows slightly and let out a low whistle.

"Yeah… that doesn’t sound great."

"That’s not all. He’s Jacob’s son."

I knew that was going to hit like a bomb. Finn turned to me with a look like I had just announced my plan to march to the South Pole in nothing but shorts.

"Uhh, okay! This is… a really dramatic situation, Winter. And it could end with you getting fired."

"I’m fully aware. To be honest, I’ve even reached out to a few old contacts from the D-Project recently. Just in case. You know, to refresh connections, so I have somewhere to go if the worst happens."

"You hate their boss."

"Well… since I’m already mentally preparing myself to take this risk, I might not have the luxury of being picky. My apartment costs a fortune and isn’t fully paid off yet. I need to keep that in mind, I need a good job."

Finn stared at me for a moment. "You’re actually serious about risking it? You really want to try something with him?"

Furrowing my brows, I lowered my head. "Maybe. This is probably the craziest thing I’ve ever considered doing. But something is pulling me toward him. Something really strong. I can’t even explain it to myself, because I barely know him. We only see each other at work, and most of our interactions are professional, so…"

"Have you even kissed?"

"Not on the lips. But this first time when he grabbed my hand… I swear, Finn, it felt like I got hit by lightning. It was so strong it froze me for a minute or so."

Finn studied me for a long moment.

"Do you think it could be—"

"Don’t even say it out loud. You know First Touch doesn’t work for betas. That's why it's so rare for us to recognize our fated mates. Statistical improbability."

He tilted his head slightly. "True. But what if there’s some unexpected factor involved?"

"Come on. I don’t want to get my hopes up just to be disappointed later. It’s better to take things as they come, without expecting too much."

"Wow. That’s a very new philosophy for you. You’ve always controlled, double-checked everything. But this? This could either be a huge success… or a huge mistake. You could lose your job, your reputation, and get accused of sexual harassment by your subordinate. The Lowens have power. Jacob could lose his shit."

I nodded.

"Yeah. All of that could happen. But Finn, I’m thirty-four. If I don’t take something from life now, then when? My entire existence revolves around work and the gym. If I want to experience something real, something more… then this is my moment."

I could see in his eyes that he understood me. Because he was in a similar place himself.

"Maybe you’re right. I’d like to have that chance too, you know. To experience something… incredible. Something unforgettable. Something I won’t have to…"

He trailed off, lifting his eyes to the sky, and suddenly said,

"Thank you for being decent enough to meet with me and tell me in person that you and I are done. You’re a good man, Winter. And I wish you luck, I hope you find what you’re looking for. And even if it doesn’t last, you’ll at least have moments to remember when you were happy. And that’s already something."

"That’s true."

"Come on, let’s walk along these cliffs a little more. Something about them is calling to me, maybe I’ll take a few pictures," Finn murmured, his gaze constantly drifting upward.

I sighed. I really didn’t feel like climbing up there, but… this might be the last time we saw each other. I could do this—for him.

A few minutes later, after hiking the steep path, we reached the top, where there was some overgrowth.

"Do you see that, Winter?" Finn pointed toward the cliff’s edge. "Someone is standing over there."

I squinted in the direction he was pointing, and froze. He was right. There was someone hunched near the edge, way too close to the drop.

As we got closer, I blinked, suddenly recognizing the figure.

"Finn… I know who that is. It’s Liam. He works at DevApp. He used to date Soren. Was completely in love with him. But then Soren left him for… my brother. Skye."

Finn’s eyebrows shot up.

"Damn. That sounds messy."

"Yeah. Complicated."

"Well, you can fill me in later, but for now maybe we should try to get him away from the cliff."

"He’s probably just admiring the view," I said, not entirely convinced. "Let’s leave him alone."

But Finn didn’t listen, he was already heading straight for Liam.

I sighed again. Not exactly how I imagined ending the day. Finn was completely locked in on this guy, so I just shrugged and followed. Not like I had a choice.

What I really wanted was to see my… Minty.

But that would have to wait… till after the holidays.

***

I spent the holidays at my family home, not wanting to be alone, left with my thoughts, struggling with the strange longing that filled me. It was growing. The impatience, the desperate wish for the days to pass faster so I could get to the airport, and…

Such bizarre feelings for me!

Not everything at home was as I expected.

There was someone else staying there, someone I had barely had a chance to see.

A young omega named Summer, who was under my dad’s care. He had survived abuse at the hands of his ex-husband, the mafia boss Anzo Ferro. But I had almost no interaction with him, he was painfully shy, permanently frightened. He didn’t even come down for meals; Snow brought them to his room, which surprised me.

A few times, I caught sight of Summer sitting motionless on the patio, staring blankly at the garden while Snow sat nearby, playing the harmonica for him.

They didn’t talk. I never once saw them exchange a word. And when I tried to start a conversation, Summer wouldn’t respond. He’d just sit there in silence, avoiding my gaze.

After a few days, I decided to stop trying. My dad told me Summer was… a unique person. He needed peace, security, and time.

So I let go of any attempts at socializing and just relaxed, mostly in my room or talking with my dad.

One day, as we sat on the patio with tea, I admitted, or rather half-mumbled, that I was interested in a certain alpha.

Dad lifted his head from his cup, platinum blond hair catching the light, as he looked at me. "I have a feeling this is serious," he said with a gentle smile.

I exhaled sharply. "What it is, is crazy, that’s for sure."

He tilted his head, studying me.

"A new piece. With Finn, it was never crazy. Just very… measured."

"Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be for betas? Calm, stable relationships?" I huffed, feeling a familiar tightness in my throat.

The beta complex. Dad, as an omega, couldn’t fully understand.

"What matters is what’s right for you, not your designation."

"I could ruin everything I’ve built with this."

His turquoise eyes lingered on my face for a while.

"Would you feel better if you walked away from it?"

"No!" The answer shot out of me before I could think. A shiver ran down my spine. "I’d feel awful."

"There’s your answer, Winter. It really is that simple."

We sat in silence for a while, staring at the sunset. A harmonica sounded in the distance. I guess Summer and Snow were somewhere near the lake.

"Did you know? From the start?" I whispered.

Dad sighed softly, glancing at his saucer.

"You know my situation was unique. When Uncle Van gave me pictures of people I could stay with, your father’s photo caught my attention immediately. Even though I was terrified of alphas… something about him spoke to me. So I went to his home, and despite my fear and hesitation, it was the ‘fated’ decision. Something pulled me toward him. Something incredibly strong."

"I feel it too. The strong pull. It’s… unsettling."

He leaned in slightly and reached for my hand, his slender fingers clutching mine.

"Winter, if it’s strong, follow it. It’s very important."

So easy to say, so hard to take the jump.

"I’m risking my job, Dad!"

"You’ll find another if you have to. Who, if not you? My smartest son!"

Nice of him to say, but it only made me feel even more… responsible. I clenched my jaw. My entire personality, everything I had built over the years, resisted this. And yet…

Suddenly, I felt my dad’s hand squeeze mine hard, snapping me out of the negativity.

"Hey… Winter! Follow what makes you feel alive. I hate seeing you so tightly tangled inside, almost frozen." His eyes were almost pleading.

I looked at him for a long moment, thinking.

"What is it like, Dad… to love like that? So intensely?" I whispered, embarrassed.

Emotions softened his face. He let go of my hand and took a sip from his cup.

"I didn’t know what love was before I met your father. I thought I wasn’t destined for it. But it means… everything, Winter. It’s here." He pointed to his chest. "It’s my heart. It beats with his melody. Your father’s."

His mouth was moving, but I didn’t understand a word he said. It sounded like poetry, something two-dimensional my brain couldn’t shape into anything palpable. And I had never liked poetry, preferring long lines of code.

But instinctively, against my better judgment, I lifted my hand and touched my chest, where the muffled thuds could be heard. Just a piece of flesh, how could it have any influence over my relationships? I couldn’t fathom it.

"Follow your heart, Winter. Always," my dad repeated in a whisper. "It will save you."

I hoped that one day, I’d understand what those words really meant. The irony was, very soon, I was about to find out.

***