Page 6

CHAPTER 6

ELLA

E lla carried the tray up the dimly lit stairs. The narrow hall smelled of tallow candles and stale bodies. The threadbare rug desperately needed a good airing out. But Lillian had said it wasn’t worth the time it took to wrestle the large runner down the stairs. Especially since the inn would be closed in a few months. Down the hall Ella could hear Clara and Mr . Crawford arguing over the soiled bedding and a bottle of wine.

The door to room six was closed. She stood there, not sure if she should knock or just leave the tray. She was about to set the tray down when the door opened.

“Ms. Moon .” Thane smiled.

Ella paused, taking in the sight of him. His dark hair, damp and curled at the base of his neck. His silk shirt hung open, revealing that Thane Tenebris was not soft around the middle. And that familiar scent surrounded both of them. A vision flashed before her.

A room with walls the color of gold. A ceiling painted like a sunrise. A woman with silver hair who sat at a table. She realized the room was the one she had described to William . Ella held her breath, afraid if she moved, she’d lose the thought. But as quickly as it came, it left. “ Dammit .”

“Ella.” Thane took the tray and set it down. “ What’s wrong?”

She swallowed down the sadness that filled her. “ My apologies.” She looked at him, wishing whatever it was about him would reveal itself. “ I … um… I’m sorry. I need a moment.” The vision had left her breathless and exhausted.

“Come here.” Thane reached for her. When his hand grabbed hers, the vision was back. She could almost feel the warmth of the room, hear the faceless woman with silver hair speaking to her.

“Wait.” She grabbed his wrist, trying desperately to hold on to the thin thread of gold that connected her to the memory. This was where she belonged. She knew it. The old life she so desperately wanted to catch. “ I just need a little more.”

“Ella, please.” Thane took her hand.

But the vision faded. She looked up at Thane , searching his pale eyes and the sharp cut of his cheeks for anything that seemed familiar. Anything that would make this make sense. But every time she came close to an answer, her mind slammed the door, leaving her in the dark.

“Are you sure I don’t know you?” She prayed to whatever god was listening that he would say yes. But as he pulled away and pity marred his handsome face, she knew the truth. “ Of course you don’t. That was silly of me.” She took a deep breath, hoping to clear her already frayed nerves.

“You really remember nothing?” Thane asked, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

“No.” Once , she believed her dreams meant something. But dreams could be twisted and changed by something as simple as a bad piece of meat. “ And I’m starting to doubt I ever will.”

“How long has it been?”

“It will be a year at the Moon Festival .” Ella put some space between her and Thane .

“That long?” Thane walked over to the window, then pulled back the curtains, letting the last rays of the setting sun filter in. “ What is it like not remembering anything? Not remembering your name, the people who loved you?”

If his voice weren’t laced with sadness, she’d think he was mocking her. “ It’s like walking into a room and knowing what everything is but not remembering ever sitting at a table or eating with a fork. You know how to braid your hair but not who taught you. You know things without understanding why. I think that is the most frustrating part. It’s like someone has cut my strings and now my tapestry is unraveling faster than I can repair it.” She laughed at herself. Now she sounded like Sissy .

“That’s Fate’s fault.” Thane uncorked the whiskey.

“What?”

“Fate. Isn’t he the god that weaves our lives?”

“Yes, I suppose so.” As the sun sank behind the mountain, Ella knew William would be done with work at the mill. He had wanted her to join him and his parents for dinner. He wanted to show her how good their life could be. But Ella wasn’t in the mood to see her future play out in a simple meal of rabbit stew and watered-down wine. So she had sent word with the stable boy that she was too tired.

“For what it’s worth, I can understand what you are feeling. I understand what it feels like to be on the other side.” Thane turned to face her. “ Constantly searching the faces of everyone around you, hoping to find the one you lost. Praying to whatever god will listen that she’ll come back.” Thane took a sip of his whiskey.

“How long have you been looking for her?”

“Not long. But long enough. I fear that…” Thane sighed, looking into his drink. “ That she has forgotten that she loves me.”

“Love cannot be forgotten.” Ella flinched at her words. “ That was silly of me to say. I obviously have.”

“ You’ve forgotten love?” Thane seemed surprised by her words.

She thought for a moment. “ No , I remember love and how it felt but not who loved me. I don’t know why I can’t remember him. But he must have loved me. Right ?”

“I would say yes, very much so.” He smiled. “ I still very much love the one I am searching for.”

“What did you do? I mean, what happened?”

“I broke her heart. And as we all know, there are consequences for breaking a heart.”

“Consequences? What kind?” Sissy had told her stories of a kingdom frozen in time. And a queen who could never sleep until her broken heart healed. A broken heart is a powerful thing, Sissy would whisper. Wars have been started over one.

Thane looked up, his eyes bright with memories. “ Heartache and a drinking problem.” Thane drained his glass.

“I guess all I’m missing is the drinking problem.” A weak smile crossed Ella’s lips. “ Why do you think she is here?” Suddenly Ella wished time would stop and she could be here with him for a moment longer. She liked being with him. She liked the way she felt around him.

Thane shrugged. “ I’m not certain she is. I look every place I’m sent. I had business here, so I thought I would take a chance and see. As soon as I deal with Mr . McCoy , I will be on my way. That is what I wanted to speak to you about.”

“Mr. McCoy , the cattle farmer? I barely know the man. What do you need with him?”

“He has something I must collect. It’s very important and something he will not want to part with easily. Which is why I would like you to come with. I find it easier when dealing with locals to have someone they trust by my side. And I have heard you are well-liked around Riverton .”

That wasn’t the entire truth. Most of the people in Riverton accepted her the same way they accepted a blister or sore. “ Who told you that?”

“Your name seems to be on the tip of everyone’s tongue. Especially a certain miller’s son. He couldn’t stop talking about you. About your beauty. Your kindness. Did I mention your beauty?”

“Yes, I’m sure he did. But I’ve only met Mr . McCoy twice. I’m not sure I’m the best for the task.” Ella turned to the tray, fixing the placement of the flatware. The subject of William was not one she wanted to discuss with Mr . Tenebris .

“This William seems to think he’s in love with you. Do you not feel the same?”

“That’s very bold of you.” Now it was Ella’s turn to be surprised by her words.

“You’re right.” Thane turned away from her.

Her feelings for William were complicated and a bit selfish. Had she been a kind person, she would have ignored his advances and told him to give his love to someone else. But she was selfish and didn’t want to be alone. So she swallowed his confession of love like a bitter tonic in hopes of finding some peace in his arms.

“I am sorry if I offended you. I don’t mean to complicate things between you and William . I will find someone else to assist me. Clara said?—”

“William doesn’t own me,” Ella cut in. The thought of Clara spending time alone with Thane upset her, which again made no sense. She wouldn’t care if Clara spent time with William . In fact she might like that. Ella , not Clara . Clara would probably enjoy it also. “ I am free to do as I see fit.”

A smile tugged at Thane’s mouth. “ Again , my apologies. I’m not winning any points, am I ?”

“Are there points to be won?”

Thane shrugged. “ If a beautiful woman is the prize, then yes.”

“I’m not a prize.” Ella shouldn’t let his words melt into her skin and make her feel light. She should leave, finish her chores, and push any thoughts of how Thane looked standing in the golden light away.

“Maybe it’s best if I just don’t speak.”

“No,” Ella said a little too quickly. “ I mean, I like speaking with you. I don’t know why. Gods below, now I sound a bit too bold.” She turned back to the tray.

“I like talking with you too. And perhaps it’s because we both are aware of what it’s like to lose something. Most people don’t understand. They have no idea how hard it is to get up each day. How difficult it is to see that person each night, only to awaken and realize it was a dream.”

“You dream of her?”

“Every night.”

Ella looked down at the tray. “ I dream of him too. I can’t see his face. But I know it’s him.” She didn’t feel so alone now, knowing someone else experienced this the same way she did.

“Do you miss him?” Thane had moved closer.

“So much,” she whispered, blinking back the tears.

“I’m sorry.”

Ella forced a smile, willing the tears to stay at bay. “ It’s not your fault.” She looked back at the tray of food. Her feelings were because the day was weighing on her. “ I’m not sure what help I’ll be with Mr . McCoy , but I’ll do my best. When do you want to meet with him?”

“In two days’ time. I have some other things I must take care of. I promise it will be quick.” Thane smiled at her.

She looked around the room. She had no other reason to be with him there. She should leave, even if part of her wanted to stay. “ Alright . If there is nothing else, I shall leave you to your evening.”

“No, I shall not keep you any longer. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Ms . Moon .”

His sadness again pressed down on her. Perhaps it was her own for having to leave him alone in a strange town. “ Please , call me Ella . And a broken heart can be mended. Sissy says that’s what love’s true kiss is for.” She meant for it to sound playful. Instead it sounded childish. “ I mean, that’s what all the tales say. If you believe in them.” Her voice cracked.

“Do you?”

“I wish I did.” In the story Sissy told, Love was a god who would give her kiss to those who loved without conditions or expectations. One kiss from the god could break a curse or mend a broken heart. “ Enjoy the rest of your evening, Mr . Tenebris .”

“Please, call me Thane . And good night, Ella .” He turned back to the window.

“Good night,” Ella whispered, backing out of the room. She trudged up to her room, exhausted and sad.