Page 13

CHAPTER 13

ELLA

E lla snuggled closer to the warm body next to her. The familiar scent eased her back into her dreams. Dreams that were filled with a familiar life and a soft darkness that made her feel whole and happy. Like everything in her life was where it should be. Including her. And the someone whose arm was wrapped around her waist was right where he needed to be.

The night’s events played back. It was Thane’s arm that was wrapped around her. Ella untangled herself from his embrace and sat up. They were lying in the abandoned barn. The soft moonlight had been replaced with the harsh light of morning. “ Shit ,” Ella cursed, trying to remember how she’d ended up asleep with Thane .

Thane rolled over, groaning. He flung an arm over his eyes.

“Thane.” Ella touched his side.

“Yes?” He lifted his arm to look at her.

He looked almost magical, stretched out in the warm morning light. His silver-gray eyes took on the warm hue of the sky. His shirt appeared wrinkled, and his dark hair begged for her to run her fingers through it. “ Why is it every time I drink with you, I lose time?”

Thane moved his arm and looked up at her. “ Maybe you have a drinking problem.”

“No, I have a Thane problem.” Ella frowned down at him. Their conversation from last night was still fresh in her mind. This was what her life would look like with him. They’d wake up in a bed with sheets of silk, and servants would bring them a morning meal of pastries and fresh fruit. Then they would spend the day whispering secrets to each other. At least, that was a life she had wished for. And wishes never came true in Riverton .

“Where’d you go?” Thane sat up, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“We have to stop this. You have someone, and I have to stop wishing for things that are not mine to have.” Like Thane . When he was this close, it was hard to remember the words she needed to speak. Time hadn’t stopped for them, and the Moon Festival was days away. Then Lillian would be married, and Ella would have to make a choice.

“Do you love him?” Thane nuzzled her neck. “ This William . If you say yes, I’ll leave now and never return.”

“And if I say no?” Her heart leapt at his words. Her body craved his touch. She could learn to love Thane . Because he understood her. They would grow together, learn what the other liked and didn’t like. He was pretty good at knowing what she needed before she knew. Like the night in her room. Or right now as he ran his nose down her neck, his breath warm on her skin. If he could let go of his past, so could she. Whatever was in the past could stay there.

“Then I’ll stay here with you until all the stars burn out.” Thane pressed a kiss on her shoulder.

“And the one you’re searching for?” If she had a wish right now, it would be for time to stop. She’d lie back down with him, let him kiss away her thoughts and fears. Feel his body press down on hers.

“I don’t know if she is waiting,” he said, his mouth still pressed to her shoulder.

“But what if she is?” Their fingers had interlaced, and she leaned closer to him. “ I could never forgive myself for taking you away from her. I understand what it's like to be alone.”

“And what if she’s moved on and has married and started a family?”

Ella had never thought of that. “ Are you that horrible that she would?”

Thane shrugged. “ I don’t think so, but people change. You’ve changed.”

“Right. But what if?—”

“She’s not, Ella . It’s been too long. We are two different people now. I have learned from my mistakes, and she has decided that life is better without me. There is no happy ending for the two of us. We are not Darkness and Dawn .”

“I wish we were. You , Darkness , and I , Dawn . Then I could forgive you.” As the words left her mouth, something shifted like a ripple on a pond. “ That was silly of me to say.”

“No, it’s not. You have something in common with Dawn .”

“What?” She twisted to face him.

“Fate took Dawn’s memory.” He picked a white petal from her hair.

“Thane.” The morning sun filtered in through the large oak trees. How long would it be before someone noticed she was gone? That the tea hadn’t been made or the rolls brushed with butter? “ Can you be serious?”

“Okay, not Fate . Dawn wished that she would forget Darkness . She made that wish on a golden apple. And everyone knows a wish made on a golden apple can only be broken by a kiss.”

“Really?” She turned to look at him. His gray eyes seemed almost silver in the warm morning light.

“Yes. Maybe that will work for you too.”

“We are not gods.” She leaned in closer. It was one kiss; what could it hurt? Nothing . Her breath came up fast. One kiss.

“You just wished us to be them.” He leaned in closer, and his lips brushed her ear. “ All you have to do is ask, love.”

The words started to form in the back of her throat. It would be so easy to kiss him. The world seemed to stop around them. She closed her eyes, ready to say the words. To ask him. It was just one kiss, and then she would know. Understand how silly this was. What his kisses tasted like. And then she’d move on. Just . One . Kiss .

“Ella!”

“Dammit.” Ella pulled away in panic. It was Clara . “ She can’t find us like this. She’ll tell William , and he can’t know. I mean… I may not love him, but I don’t want to break his heart.”

“It’s alright, love.” Thane moved slowly away from her, slipping into the shadows.

Ella tried to shove the remnants of her evening into the basket when Clara stomped in.

“What in all the gods’ names are you doing here?” Clara looked around. “ Mrs . A is furious that you weren’t there to help prep the morning meal.”

“I overslept.”

Clara crossed her arms over her chest. “ Alone ?” She nodded to the picnic basket.

“Yes.” Ella stood, brushing the white petals from her clothing. “ We should go before Mrs . A sends a search party.”

“I never knew this place existed.” Clara wandered around the terrace. “ I’ve been to this barn plenty of times. It’s a good place to meet someone. Alone . Mr . Tenebris’s room was also empty this morning.”

“How do you know that?”

“I checked it. Since you were not there this morning, Mrs . A told me to see if he was back, and wouldn’t you know it, he, too, was gone.”

“Clara—”

“Don’t.” Clara turned on her. “ I know William is not for you. He’s too simple. Too plain. But he is perfect for Sissy .” Clara pulled out a slip of paper. “ I found this in your room. Lillian read it to me.”

It was the note Thane had sent her. “ It’s not what you think.”

“But it is. You are going to have to decide soon. You can’t string him or Mr . Tenebris along,” Clara said. “ And you’re right. We need to go before someone else finds you.”

Ella looked to the shadows, but Thane was gone. She followed Clara down the worn path to the inn. Clara stopped, pulling Ella to a halt. “ If you are going to run off with Thane , then make sure William knows that. He was here looking for you this morning. Sissy covered for you. He thinks he loves you.”

“I know.”

“Sissy won’t tell you this, but I will. The boy she was caught kissing was William .”

“What?” Ella stumbled backwards.

“Everyone believed William would ask her to marry him,” Clara said.

“Everyone?” No one had ever mentioned that to her.

“Yes. They are of the same standing. Sissy’s father was a leather tanner. That’s how it works in a small village. Your life is plotted out before you are even old enough to speak your protest. And they would have been married, but then you showed up and changed the course of both their lives. I can’t blame you. Men are fickle. They feel no remorse when they break a heart. They should all be cursed to suffer at least one.” Clara started walking again.

“Do you think Sissy loved William ?” Ella asked, following Clara .

“Enough with the love and marriage talk. You can have one without the other.” Clara rolled her eyes. “ You are worse than Sissy is. And they would have learned to love each other. That’s how marriage works. Sissy is a better choice for him than you.” Clara stepped through the gate.

Ella followed, not sure how she could take this information. Sissy had said nothing when William started coming around. If she had, Ella would have stepped aside.

So why hadn’t she?