Page 15

CHAPTER 15

ELLA

E lla needed to leave. She needed to be away from Thane . Away from the inn and the noise, the sadness pressing down on her. Away from this life. Ella ignored Mrs . A , who called for her. Clara , who mocked her. The chickens that scattered as her pace quickened. She wanted to be away from it all. So she ran.

Ran past the inn into the large open field that years ago Mrs . A’s husband had kept cattle in. The grass was just tall enough to hide her. Its sharp leaves tugged at the sleeves of her shirt, trying to pull her back. She got halfway through the field when she realized she had nowhere to go. No one to dry her tears.

“Ella, wait,” Sissy called, running after her.

Ella hugged herself, trying to exhale the heaviness that filled her. Why did it feel like her heart was breaking? Breaking for a man she didn’t love. Ella fell to her knees, too tired to fight the sob that was clogging her throat.

“Ella, it’s not what you think between William and me.” Sissy fell to her knees next to Ella . “ You must let me explain.”

Ella looked up at Sissy . She couldn’t stop the tears that fell. “ It’s not William .”

“Oh.” Sissy pulled Ella into her embrace. “ Mr . Tenebris .”

“Why, Sissy ? Why does it hurt? It shouldn’t hurt like this!” Ella sobbed into Sissy’s lap. None of this made any sense. There hadn’t been enough hours in the day for her to love Thane . She knew so little about him, and yet it felt like he was woven into her bones.

“I know, my sweet.” Sissy smoothed Ella’s hair back and let her cry. They lay in the tall grass, the milk cow watching them with her liquid brown eyes. Bright yellow finches fluttered to the long grass stalks, cracking seeds with their orange beaks.

When the tears had finally stopped and the pain dulled to an ache, she realized it wasn’t Thane she loved; it couldn’t be. It was hope. Hope that there was more to her life than the inn and marrying William . That she was destined for something more. But now she realized there was nothing else. And that was why everything felt so heavy and taxing. Not because she loved Thane .

“Will you tell me the truth?” Ella sat up, wiping her tears away. “ Do you love William ?” Ella couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason Sissy’s heart broke.

“No. I don’t know him. The kiss meant nothing. And he loves you,” Sissy said, smoothing Ella’s hair back.

Ella twisted a piece of grass around her finger. She should confess that she didn’t love William either. But he was her last chance now. Her only way out of Riverton . “ But if you two were?—”

“There was no ‘we.’ Do you want to marry William ?” Sissy asked, moving to sit behind Ella and combing through her hair.

Ella shrugged. “ I don’t know what I want anymore. I thought…” She let the rest of the words drop off. She had thought what? That she loved Thane ? That wasn’t possible. Then why did it feel like it was?

“What about Thane ? Do you love him?”

“I don’t know. I’m tired, Sissy . I want to be me. The me I was before all of this. Before Riverton . Before William and Thane . I don’t want to be Ella Moon .”

“And who do you think you were?” Sissy started braiding Ella’s hair.

“I don’t know. But I wasn’t made for washing dishes and making beds.” Ella closed her eyes at her words. “ I didn’t mean that you were.”

“Oh, hush. I know what I was made for, and it’s laundry. And children and baking cookies during Yule .” Sissy smiled.

“And William ?” Ella tried again.

“I don’t know. Things feel a little messy, right now.” Sissy tugged playfully on Ella’s hair. “ You and Thane remind me a little of Darkness and Dawn .”

Ella shrugged. “ Before or after he broke her heart?” Her night with Thane felt like a lifetime ago.

“You’ve heard the story?”

“Only that Darkness broke Dawn’s heart. What do you think he did?” That was the only thing Thane’s story had left out.

Sissy shrugged. “ Darkness is not only a very handsome god, but one that would get in trouble. Which is how he broke Dawn’s heart.”

“But what kind of trouble would break a heart?” Ella looked over her shoulder to Sissy .

“I don’t know the ways of the gods. Maybe he didn’t tell her that her gown made of butterfly wings looked nice. Or he brought her the wrong flowers from his Midnight Garden .”

“Do you think she is that shallow? What if he kissed another? Or told another he loved them more than Dawn ?”

“Maybe. Whatever he did, it was bad.” Sissy tied off the braid.

“I bet he said something to hurt her. Handsome men often have sharp tongues,” Ella mumbled.

“Ugly men have just as sharp of tongues.” Sissy wove a piece of grass into a crown. “ Would you forgive Thane if he said something hurtful?”

“It doesn’t matter. He found what he was looking for.” Ella looked back to the inn. Were Thane and this woman planning their wedding? Was he telling her how much he missed her? Holding her like he had held Ella that night? These thoughts made her sad and her heart ache.

“I don’t think that woman is for him. There was something cruel about her.” Sissy set the crown on Ella’s head. “ There . I crown you the queen of this field. What shall be your first wish, my queen?”

Ella touched the crown. “ That all women are free to not marry and can live on their own.”

Sissy laughed. “ Oh , and Mrs . Clark must make her own tea.”

“And Mr . Crawford must change his own bedding,” Ella joined in. Both girls added to the list of things that Queen Ella would change. Ella felt better, not as sad.

“We should get back to the inn before Clara breaks all the plates.” Sissy stood, brushing the grass from her skirt. “ Don’t give up, Ella . Your love is out there. The one you are destined to be with. You just have to open your eyes and see him.” Sissy extended her hand to Ella .

Ella let Sissy pull her up. Thane’s dark carriage could be seen leaving the inn. She looked at Sissy , who was feeding the milk cow from her hand. Ella had opened her eyes, and it was not a man with silver eyes she was destined to be with.

But a boy with soft brown eyes and a warm smile.

“Come on, Sissy . Our destiny might not be waiting, but Mrs . A is.”