Page 38

CHAPTER 38

AURORA

T he sound of the Moon Festival rushed around Aurora . She knew now she was a god. Not a mortal girl named Ella . She shook the pain that radiated up her arm. Punching Thane in his pretty face should have made her feel better. But it didn’t, nor did it fix anything. “ I should kill you for what you said to me.” The memories fell into place like grains of sand after a wave. Nieve . The dark soul of a frozen queen. The last words Thane said to her. “ Why , Thane ?”

“Why what?” Thane spat on the ground, touching his bloodied lip. “ You hit me?”

“You broke my heart.” Aurora looked at him pressing the back of his hand to his bottom lip. “ You said you wished you’d never met me. I felt your hatred.” Her head spun in confusion. Ella’s time with Thane didn’t mingle well with hers. Ella’s Thane was sweet and kind. Her Thane was a god.

“I know what I said. Don’t remind me.” Thane looked at the blood on his hand.

Aurora tried to sort through her thoughts. The ones before she was Ella and the ones while she was Ella . They all sat like oil on water. “ Oh gods below, Mr . McCoy . Dammit , Thane , why would you wish me away?” She fought to keep the pain from her voice. These had been Ella’s friends.

“I was angry.” Thane scrubbed his face. “ Aurora , I’m sorry. What can I do to fix this? Us ?”

“I don’t know.” It hurt being this close to him and yet so far from him. Ella’s memories were still so fresh. The night in the old mill. The flowers. His drunken confession. But so were hers. The anger she felt, the heat of his words.

Thane hadn’t moved from his spot.

The sight of him still took her breath away. The mortal realm gave him a dangerous edge. An edge her body craved to cut herself against. And that was what made her so angry, that she would cut herself again and bleed out for a god who didn’t trust her. “ Why didn’t you trust me?”

“I was stupid.”

“You are stupid,” she corrected. Time was an odd thing. A whole year had passed here. And yet time hadn’t healed anything. Her heart still felt broken.

“I was confused. You know how my father is. Then Pain? —”

“Pain what? For once you should have listened to her,” Aurora shouted. “ You hurt me, and this was more than the curse. With the curse the pain doesn’t cut me. This was…” It all came back in vivid colors. “ You meant this.”

“No.” Thane rushed to her. “ No . Gods below, grant me a wish now. Grant me the wish to take those words back.”

She closed her eyes, but the stars shuttered in remorse. They couldn’t take back the past. “ I can’t.”

“Then I have failed you again.” The muscle in Thane’s jaw tightened as he watched the people around them. He looked back at her. “ I came here hoping I could fix us. Prove that I learned from my mistakes. That night in the mill, I was ready to give it all up. I was ready to be Thane Tenebris until the end of time. But then you wished for us to be us, and the curse found us. And now you are you and I am me. Still cursed. I should’ve let you be. I should’ve let you be Ella .”

“And yet you are still here, even after Ella asked you to leave. Why ?” She still loved Thane . Every part of her craved his touch, the sound of his voice, the taste of his kiss.

Thane touched her cheek. “ Because I heard your heart break again. The moment you wished us to be us, I could feel it all again. Your fears. Your loneliness. Before , they were dull and felt distant. After the wish, they were all back. And I missed them. I missed your pain and happiness. I missed you.”

And she him. Aurora wouldn’t have survived Ella’s life. At some point she would’ve broken. The hint of Thane would’ve always followed her like a shadow. “ Why can’t I hate you? Why can’t I wish away my love for you?” It would have been easier to be Ella then. She could have married William and lived a mortal version of happiness.

“Try again.” Thane stepped closer.

She couldn’t wish away their love because she couldn’t lie. She had tried to forget it, and even that hadn’t worked.

Aurora ran her finger along the silver buttons of Thane’s shirt. “ I’ve missed you. And I hate myself for that. I should be stronger. But I’m not. I am no better than the mortals that sell their souls to your father.” Aurora looked down at her wrist. There was still one left. The one who’d break the curse.

“No.” Thane tipped her chin up. “ You are not weak. None of this is your fault. I should’ve broken this curse a lifetime ago.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I was afraid of losing you. I thought I’d have to give up the one thing that binds me to you.”

“And what is that? What is it that you think binds me to you?”

Thane looked away, struggling with the words he needed to say. “ That day in the meadow.” He looked to Aurora . “ When I asked you to kiss me. I had Love’s kiss. The witch in the woods told me that I would have to give that up to break the curse in Casse . And if I did that…” Thane left the rest of his words unspoken.

“Thane, you did not need Love’s kiss for me. I loved you the moment I saw you.” Love’s kiss could bind anyone to the holder of it. They would not be bound by love but by a false string that Fate had not tied. It was rare, and only Fate could cut that thread.

“I know that now. But before…” He inhaled sharply. His fear tasted like ash on her tongue. “ I’ve never loved anyone. And I’ve only loved you when I was cursed. I didn’t know what would happen if you were not bound to me. I feared once your heart broke, it would stay broken. I’m sorry.”

His confession took her breath away. The morning she had found him asleep in the meadow, she knew they would be bound together. She had assumed he was also aware of that. “ Thane , our love is written in the stars. I know because I put it there.” She stepped closer to him. “ It shall burn bright until the last star winks out of the sky, and then I shall write it in the dew. And when the dew dries, I shall write it on your lips. Across your brow. Anywhere you ask me to write it. I will.”

“Are you sure?” Thane’s eyes were bright with something she had never seen before. Doubt . The feeling was slow. It started low in her belly and worked its way up to her chest until she couldn’t take a breath.

This was a side of Thane she had never seen. “ Yes ,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry, Aurora . Please forgive me.” His breath was unsteady as he reached for her. “ I can’t do this without you.”

“Me neither.” Aurora threw herself into his arms. She had missed him so much. Ella had missed him. She had loved him even though she couldn’t understand why. He was as much a part of her as the heavens.

Thane held her tight, burying his face in her neck. “ Gods below, I’ve missed you. There were so many nights at the inn I wanted to stop time so I could crawl into bed with you.”

Aurora clung to his warmth and the familiar scent of dusk that haunted Ella’s dreams. “ Maybe if you had, I would’ve asked you to kiss me sooner.” Ella would have liked that. It would have confused her more but at least she wouldn’t have felt so alone.

“He’s coming. William .” Thane pressed a kiss to the top of Aurora’s head. “ This can all end right now. You can go back to being Ella . I will wish it right now.”

Aurora looked up at him. “ And you as Mr . Tenebris ? How long will your father let this go on?”

“Not with me. You stay and be Ella , and I will leave you. I promise.”

Aurora could feel them all getting closer. Lillian , Clara , and William . All their wishes pressed down on her. “ I remember you now, Thane . How would I forget you again?”

“Then I’ll stay. We could move to the mountains or a small cottage in the woods. We could be anyone.”

Aurora smiled at the hope that leapt from him. “ No , my beautiful darkness. You can be no one but darkness.”

“I can be anyone you want me to be.” Thane kissed her again. This time there were no sharp bits of memories cutting at her. Thane lifted his head. “ Just say the words.”

They were right there. All she had to say was “ I wish.” The last bracelet slipped down her wrist. But she could not wish away the curse. “ I can’t.”

Thane let out the breath he was holding, and the tension left his shoulders. For the first time in a mortal year, Aurora felt right. She had missed the glimmer she saw in Thane’s eyes. The taste of his desire. She pressed a kiss to his mouth quickly before she heard her name spill from another’s.

“Ella?” William called.

“You are still Ella to them,” Thane reminded her.

“Ella, what’s going on? I’ve been looking for you. Have you been crying?” William grabbed her hand.

Aurora struggled not to cringe at his touch. “ No , it must be something in the air. I just need some time.” His wants pressed down on her. It was almost suffocating. There was something else. A falseness to it.

“Time for what? Let’s go. I’ll bring you home?—”

“No,” Aurora almost shouted. “ I mean, William , go back to your friends. I , um… things have changed. I’ve changed.” How would she explain to him she wasn’t Ella ?

“Ella, what’s going on? I can tell you’ve been crying.” William looked up. “ You .” He pointed at Thane . “ This is your fault. What have you done to her?”

“I have done nothing she didn’t ask for.” Thane smirked.

“Oh, you’ve done plenty.” She glared at Thane .

“What did you do to her? I will beat that pretty face of yours if you hurt her.” William stalked towards Thane .

“William, stop.” Aurora pressed her hands to his chest. “ This has nothing to do with him. It’s me.”

“No, he has done something to you. I can see it in your eyes. They’re different. What did you do to her?” William tried to push past Aurora .

“Nothing.” Thane shrugged. “ I would never hurt her. It’s you?—”

“Thane, I swear to every god in the heavens that I will rip your tongue out of your mouth if you say another word.” Aurora wanted to slap the smirk off his face. This would be hard enough to explain to William without Thane’s smugness.

“Ella? William ?”

Aurora groaned when she heard Lillian’s voice. Gods above, for once couldn’t something go her way?

“We are ready to leave. Is everything okay? Mr . Tenebris , I thought you left.” Lillian cocked her head.

“I am. I had a few things to take care of. Ms . Moon , I wish you the best.” Thane bowed slightly.

“Careful what you wish for, Mr . Tenebris ,” Aurora warned.

“Come on, Ella .” William tugged at her hand.

“Yes, Ella , let’s go.” Lillian frowned at Thane .

Aurora glared at Thane over her shoulder as she followed Lillian and William out of the fair. As they walked past the booth and tents, she saw him. Death . He looked ridiculous dressed as an old woman. He was there to trade wants for souls.

“That’s the old woman I told you about.” William put his arm around Aurora .

Death smiled at Aurora and pointed to his wrist and held up one finger. “ Stay away from her. I hear she’s a leper.”

“Ella,” Ailith scolded. “ You should not spread rumors like that.”

“It’s not a rumor, it’s true. One of the other performers told me.” Aurora turned away from Death . She wondered which Riverton citizens would follow next. There were so many glowing chests amongst the people.

Aurora sat quietly in the carriage as the rest shared their fair stories and trinkets they bought. William lightly touched her leg or shoulder when Ailith wasn’t looking. Her head wasn’t in this life. It was with Thane .

By the time they dropped off William and made it back to the inn, Aurora couldn’t bear to live in Ella’s life anymore. The name Ella grated on every nerve. She said her good nights and was heading up the stairs when Lillian called her.

“Did something happen between you and Mr . Tenebris ?” Lillian stood at the bottom of the stairs.

She could end Ella’s life right now. Tell Lillian she remembered who she was, and that Thane was from her past. But that would only lead to more questions. Questions she didn’t have the answers to yet. She forced a smile and turned to Lillian . “ No . He warned me to stay away from the old woman. She has been in other cities he’s been in, and she swindled the citizens.”

Lillian cocked her head. “ Okay . Is there anything you want to tell me? You look different. Happy .”

Aurora would need to cut these strings, but not tonight. “ It was an enjoyable night. Good night, Lillian .” Aurora made her way up the stairs and into her half-room. The moonlight filled the room with a cold glow. Memories of her forgotten life flittered in. Her mother had been right. She sat down on her bed and waited. He wouldn’t leave her, would he?

“No,” Thane said, stepping out of the shadows.

Aurora stood and met him in the middle of the room. She knew him, what his kisses tasted like, what his body felt like next to hers. And yet it felt as if it were the first time again.

“Tell me what you want, and I will give it to you.” Thane brushed his lips against hers.

“You. I want you. Take me somewhere away from this life,” Aurora whispered.

Thane lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply. Aurora leaned into him, feeling the coolness of the Between surrounding them. She didn’t care where he took her as long as he was with her.