Page 16

CHAPTER 16

ELLA

T he days that followed her incident in the dining room trudged by. Ailith had given her a couple of days off. Ella spent them fighting her tears and the urge to punch Mr . Thane Tenebris in his pretty face. He had let her believe that he would give it all up for her. And she stupidly believed his honeyed words. Ate them up like she was starving for them. Thankfully , Thane’s betrothed had been keeping him busy. This morning she dragged him out of the inn in a rush of giggles and rose perfume.

And she had been busy with the wash. Ella shoved the dirty linens into the washtub. The tears threatened to fall, and she didn’t even know why. The intense emotions she felt about him confused her. He had been honest about his reason for being in Riverton , and she let her imagination get the best of her. She should be happy for him. He found the woman he loved. Besides , she had her own life.

The Moon Festival was two days away. She and William would need to patch up their differences and start planning for the future. The future she had put off for too long. Lillian had said Darby had offered William a job. If all went well, by Yule Ella and William would be living their happily ever after. So why didn’t she feel happy?

“You’re not allowed back here!” Lillian cried from the doorway. “ Mother ,” Lillian called before slipping back into the inn.

Ella looked up to see Albert push his way through the back door. She wiped the sweat from her brow. “ Dammit .” That hadn’t taken long. She had sent word late last night that she would not be accepting Albert’s invitation. An invitation she didn’t remember getting.

“You ungrateful little whore,” Albert spat. “ You would rather be seen with that poor boy than a man like me.”

The glow under Albert’s skin called to her. The bright cords that held it pulsed. It would be so easy to take it. And with it would come all his fortune. The copper tub, the house, the gold—it would all be gone. All she’d have to do was say the words. Words that slipped from her memory.

“Yes, Albert , I would rather go to the festival with a boy than a man like you.” Ella hauled the sheets out and into the wringer.

“I gave you a chance, and this is how you repay me?” Spit flew from Albert’s mouth.

“A chance? A chance at what? To mother those horrible little demons you call children? Or to play nursemaid to your aging, senseless mother?” She didn’t hold back her sharp words. She was tired of people like Albert and Thane thinking they could treat her like a common whore.

Albert stalked over to her and grabbed her arm. “ Do you know what I could do to you? No one would care. They already think you’re a witch. I’d be doing everyone a favor.” A wicked smile spread across Albert’s smug face.

“I’m not afraid of you.” Ella tried to shrug off his cold fingers.

Albert tightened his grip. “ That is your first mistake. Who do you think owns those loans on the mill? Hmm ? I was being gracious by giving them until the end of the year. But maybe I should recall them today. What would your little lover do then? He’d have nothing but the clothing on his back. And I probably own those too. Still want to be seen with a boy?”

“Let go of me,” Ella gritted out.

Albert pulled Ella closer. “ By the end of this year, you’ll be begging me for a second chance.”

“I would rather starve to death than allow any part of you anywhere near me.”

“Are you sure about that?” Albert’s grip tightened around Ella’s arm.

“Let go of me. You’re hurting me.” Ella tried to keep the panic out of her voice.

“You heard her. Let her go,” Thane called.

“Who are you?” Albert shoved Ella away.

“Someone who can recall your loan. How long has it been, Albert ? Nine ?” Thane smiled. “ What was the deal? Ten ?”

“You don’t know me.” Albert tugged at his jacket.

“Oh, but I do. And my father always collects his debts. Now , I suggest you leave Ms . Ella and her friend William alone. Or I will be forced to collect your debt sooner. And I will make it very painful.”

“You can have the whore.” Albert looked Ella up and down. “ She’s not that pretty anyway,” he spat out before storming out the gate.

“Are you alright?” Thane stepped closer.

“I’m fine.” Ella rubbed her arm.

“Ella, I want?—”

“Please don’t say anything. Just go away and leave me with whatever pride I have left.” She shoved the next sheet into the tub. Her tears blurred her vision, turning the wash water into a watercolor of sheets and dirty water.

“Please, let me explain?—”

“Explain what? Gods above, I was ready to…”

“Ready to what?” Thane stepped closer.

Ella looked at him. He didn’t look like his arrogant self. In fact, he looked worn-out. His normally flawless appearance had cracked. His dark hair was a tangled mess that grew worse every time he touched it. The gray of his shirt and trousers was a sad replacement for the crisp black silk he normally wore. But it was his eyes that made her heart ache. They were dull, like a star ready to burn out. She wanted to step closer and smooth away his pain. But that was not her duty.

“Nothing.” Ella wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. She had been ready to walk away from William for him. A man she knew nothing about but who drove her to do such foolish things. A man who made her not want to be Ella from Riverton .

“Please, don’t shut me out,” Thane pled.

“Shut you out? I should have never let you in.” Ella laughed. Dark clouds formed in the sky above them. They were heavy with the threat of rain.

“Gods above, not again,” Thane cursed, scrubbing his face. “ This shouldn’t be happening. Not here. Not when you don’t?—”

“Thane,” the pretty blonde woman called from the gate. “ It’s time to go. You had your chance.”

Ella smiled. “ You better hurry off, Mr . Tenebris . She’s waiting.” Ella wanted to hate the woman. She had done the one thing Ella hadn’t been able to do: remember.

“She is not what you think she is. I can explain everything, please. Meet me tonight. We can talk.”

“About what?” Ella fought the urge to slap him. To kiss him. To dump the dirty wash water over him. This man was infuriating. He made her feel every emotion in one heartbeat.

“About us,” Thane said.

He was too close. Too close for her to think, to breathe. She looked at him, ready to let the lies cut her tongue. She wanted to tell him to leave and never come back. But the words slipped away each time she formed the thought. “ Why do I hate you so much?”

The stress fell from Thane’s shoulders. “ Because I always mess things up. I have to take Misery back to her father, but we need to talk. And you won’t hear me unless… please just let me try and explain.”

Ella watched William talk to the woman Thane called Misery . Misery suited Thane better. Her soft green silk gown complemented her fair complexion. A complexion that had not seen the sun’s reach. The woman smiled and giggled at William . The gems that hung from her ears sparkled in the pale light. William smiled warmly back, uncomplicated in his simple clothing. He was Ella’s type. The type that worked every day for every coin they had.

Thane turned and looked at William and Misery before turning back to Ella . “ It’s not what you think. She’s not who I’m looking for.”

“It’s not me you are looking for either. William has asked me to marry him.” Her words had their intended effect. Thane paled, and his gray eyes dulled even further.

“I see. Well , then there is nothing more for me to say. Good day, Ms . Moon .”

“Good day, Mr . Tenebris .” She looked away, afraid he’d see the lie. This had gone on for too long. She had tried to force Thane into a life that never existed. She wanted him to fill a hole that was not his to fill. Ella brushed by him. His scent still raked across her nerves. Her heart broke for something she never knew.

William stepped through the gate. “ Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” William ducked to meet Ella’s gaze.

“Who? Than — Mr . Tenebris ? No , I haven’t been sleeping well, and I guess I … I’m just tired.” Ella forced a smile. Even after everything, she still couldn’t bring herself to make Thane the villain of her story. “ I’m sorry, William . I’ve made a mistake.”

“So have I . Can we talk? Please . I promise to not say anything stupid.”

“Yes, meet me by the river.”

“Okay.” William disappeared down the overgrown trail.

Thane and the woman were arguing by his carriage. He’d try to speak with her if she didn’t leave now. And she’d believe every word that came out of that perfect mouth. Ella untied her apron and pulled open the kitchen door. “ I need some air. Don’t wait up.” In the sky, gray storm clouds blocked out the weak sun. She quickly made her way down the worn path to the large willow tree.

William leaned against it, pulling leaves from a branch. He was the opposite of Thane . William was a warm spring shower, the type that brought new life, while Thane was a summer storm. One that brooded all day, filling the sky with dark clouds. It could blow over, leaving those in its path to take a careful breath of relief. Or he could strike, destroying all those around him. And which type of storm Ella wanted to survive was what tore at her heart.

“William, I think?—”

“Don’t.” He stepped closer to her. “ Let me say what I came here to say.” William took her hands in his. He ran his thumb over each bone of her finger. “ Before I met you, I didn't believe in love. I thought the best I could do was to find someone who would make a good partner and mother for my children. That we, like my parents, would grow to love each other.” He looked up at her, his brown eyes full of hope. “ Then I met you. And now I know love is real. I know it’s hard to believe me after I said those horrible things. And if you never want to speak to me again, I’d understand. But? —”

“Hush. We both said things we didn’t mean.” Ella pressed a finger to his lips. She had been wrong too. She may have never asked William to love her, but she had never told him not to either. She had depended on him for so many things. He’d been by her side for the past year. He held her hand the first time Ailith sent her to market. He dried the tears she sometimes cried for no reason. He was the constant in her inconstant life. Thane was chaotic and the unknown. And she thought that was what she wanted, but it was not what she needed. She needed the safety William promised.

William took her hand. “ You have everything to offer. It’s me who doesn’t have much. It was selfish of me to assume you would want to stay here. The mill was my dream. Not yours.” William looked up at her, the truth shining bright in his eyes. “ You mean more to me than the mill or any job. If you want, we will leave Riverton and go anywhere. We’ll find a life that feels right. For both of us. I don’t want you to feel trapped.”

“You’re not trapping me.” The past had trapped her. Trapped her into believing that there was something worth remembering. All the strings she thought were connecting her to her past were doing nothing more than strangling her.

William cupped her cheek. “ I don’t want you to feel like I’m your only choice. I want you to marry me because you want to.”

“Yes.” Ella answered the question before he could ask it.

“Yes, what?”

“I’ll say yes. I’ll marry you.” The last string of her forgotten life pulled tight. She could feel the fibers pulling free.

William took a deep breath. “ You will?”

The blood pounded in her ears. This was it. The end. “ Yes .” The last string snapped. All her hopes and dreams bled out, leaving her empty and defeated.

William caught the tears that fell. They didn’t sparkle on his scarred fingers. “ Why the tears then?”

“I don’t know.” They could be for what lay in her future or for the loss of her past.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to have all the answers right now,” William whispered, pulling her into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head and let her rage like the storm around them. She sobbed into his chest, clinging to his warmth and the beating of his heart. This was the life she deserved, not the lie Thane had tried to sell her. Not the misery Albert promised. A quiet life with William .

The sorrow eased from her chest and body with each tear she shed. Soon there was nothing left. She sat curled up in William’s lap, listening to the rain fall gently around them. “ I’m sorry.”

William rested his cheek on the top of her head. “ You have nothing to be sorry for. Whatever it is, we will figure it out. Okay ?”

She nodded.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Ella closed her eyes, letting his words burn onto her skin. Just say the words. Say you wish . I wish I could say the words. She sat up, hoping to find a reason not to say it back. But she only found his warm brown eyes and his love. “ I love you too.” The words slipped from her mouth before her lips could form them.

William cupped her face. “ Do you truly?”

Ella couldn’t lie twice. She just nodded, running her thumb over his bottom lip. She would learn to love him. He was handsome, caring, loving. He’d sacrifice the world for her. Ella moved, straddling him and then undoing the laces of his trousers. He placed fiery kisses on her neck and mouth as he pushed her skirt up.

Her cries were covered up by the thunder that shook the world around them. She didn’t let her mind try to unravel how messed up this was. That she used William’s desire to cover her pain. But it was all she had right now.

The storm that raged around them was nothing like the storm that raged inside of her.