Page 37

Thirty-Six

“Girl, wake the hell up!” Natavi nudged me hard.

I sat up disoriented, I struggled to catch my breath as I looked around my room feeling misplaced. I had been home for a week, and still felt like I didn’t belong. I told myself that maybe it was me that now experienced Stockholm syndrome.

“I heard you in here moaning like you were getting fucked. I stomped in here to tell you that I could have stayed my pregnant ass at home with my man, if you had company.” Natavi eyed my bed suspiciously.

I ignored her smart-ass remarks and reached underneath my blankets to pat underneath me. My dreams made me create puddles of wetness in my bed. It would be embarrassing for Natavi to flop down on a soaked bed. She’d never let me hear the end of that.

“It’s dry. You know damn well no one was in here either, Natavi.” I rolled my eyes hard at her.

Before I could curse her ass out for busting in my room in the middle of one of the steamiest wet dreams that I just had in a while, I tried to cool off and calm down by throwing my sheets off of me.

“Just making sure before I take a seat.” Natavi chuckled then sat down at the edge of my bed.

She turned her body to face me and pursed her lips. It was funny how all week she had been preaching to me about everything that I allowed Detavio to do. I now knew what it felt like to have a friend go against your reasoning. All week I talked about how crazy Detavio was. Then at the end of every conversation we held about him, I always added that I knew deep down he had some goodness inside of him. I held back until last night telling Natavi everything. She went through a series of raging pregnancy hormones.

“Why don’t you just call him, he’s been all over the news and in press conferences. Some people are saying that he did it since he gives no signs of emotions when he talks about his entire city being burnt down with no traces of his father?—”

“You and I both know that Detavio don’t give a damn about what people saying. Bloggers better leave him alone before he kidnap and fuck them raw in a dark deserted alley.” I spat out.

I could feel myself grow agitated with my own damn thoughts. This entire week without seeing or hearing from Detavio made me anxious and confused. I thought I needed space and time to heal from being locked inside of his pit. Truth is, the sick and twisted side of me, wanted him to stalk and kidnap me again. I wanted to see him, but I wouldn’t dare make the first move.

Last night, Natavi came over and ended up spending the night. It was much needed; I cried to her and told her everything. She told me all about her and Monster’s relationship and how she was a little over seven weeks pregnant with his baby. I thought about the possibility of me being pregnant too, since Detavio nor I was responsible enough to stop and use condoms.

“So you’re jealous…” Natavi’s voice trailed off as her eyes grew big.

“You jealous as fuck! You don’t want him kidnapping no other woman but you! Your twisted lil ass probably wants him to continue to stalk you! I know you all too well, Angel. Please don’t try to sit in my face and play.” She tilted her head to the side and started to bounce her long legs.

“Since you know me so well…why haven’t I called him? I know where he lives…so why haven’t I gone to see about him?” I retorted.

“Because…” She smacked her lips.

“You want him to see about you! You’ve always been this way, even with the men that you have tried to date. It’s just that with Detavio, you have no way of taming you. He doesn’t fit in your stands and expectations of a man. From the moment he threatened you at your mom’s coffee shop, you was turned on?—”

“Natavi, please don’t go there.” I fanned her off nonchalantly.

The words that Detavio said to me a while back played in my head.

“Life is about choices, you live with what you choose, Angel. If you choose to fuck with me and my family…I’ll ruin you…sexually…mentally…then, physically. I’ll fuck your soul into mine, then turn you into something that you will never be able recognize. Fall the fuck back and continue to enjoy all the blind dates that you do on ‘Meet Me’.”

It had been hard to recognize exactly who the hell I was since I left his house the next day after the powerful threesome we had with Maylee. It felt like I belonged there when I shouldn’t have felt that damn way at all. I shouldn’t have wanted him. I knew that much. At the same time, I wanted Detavio to want me. Didn’t make sense and that’s what angered me. There was something so raw, so untamed, that pulled at every part of me.

His darkness was magnetic, it wrapped around me like smoke, slow and it suffocated me. A man like Detavio screamed trouble, touch and get burned at your own damn risk. I should feel repelled and know better, yet, the quiet parts of my mind wanted it, I wanted him. I wanted all the things that came with him but was scared to embrace it. Why the hell did I want a man like Detavio? The adrenaline he gave me was like the best high that I’ve ever felt besides smoking weed.

I couldn’t help the way my body responded to him even when I was in fear of him. His icy stare was a permanent promise, but not a safe one of all the wild and filthy things that he would do to me. I battled hard on not calling him or even popping up at his house just to lay eyes on him. He was obsessed with me and had no shame. I was obsessed with him but there was shame that crept inside of me whenever I thought about him.

A sane person would run for the hills, far the hell away from him. I wasn’t some reckless girl that gave in to every fine man that fell in my view. For Detavio, I felt reckless, it took one moment in his bed to discover just how far I’d go. The more I tried to deny my own thoughts, the stronger the pull that he had on me became. Like a riptide, I felt helpless to the currents beneath the surface of him.

“I told myself that I didn’t want the chaos that he had to offer. I’m better than the whirlwind of trouble and emotions that he would possibly drag me into. I just can’t erase that cocky ass smirk…or him calling me a ‘Pussy’ or the icy look in his eyes that screamed he saw right through me. Detavio knows how to make me want something that I shouldn’t, and I hate it,” I said above a whisper.

Natavi’s mouth dropped wide open, she slowly closed it as I continued to get lost in my own thoughts of Detavio. Every part of me screamed to turn the hell away, but my heart and mind was too curious, too eager to taste the forbiddeness from him. I was torn, his name echoed in my mind when I didn’t want it to, and I couldn’t stop myself from craving him. What made me the most reluctant was me knowing that Detavio’s cocky fine ass knew that I was dreaming about him. He knew that I was over here having withdrawals. He wanted me to come to him, but I refused. I’ll make him come to me first. I told myself.

“He was wrong, and I think that he’s too much for you…I thought Monster was too much for me too until I realized that it was destiny. I told you how I washed Impurity’s blood off his fingers then fucked him all over the house afterwards. I did the same after he came home from killing Chedda?—”

“That’s where I draw the line! I’m not washing no?—”

“He sucks the soul out of each one of my toes…My sexy chocolate bar, devours me in the literal sense. Don’t sit here and say what yo hot in the ass wouldn’t do. It’s the delu-lu for me!” She rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, you just came up in here because you ready to get back to being devoured.” I giggled then laughed hard when her face looked guilty.

“Monster is outside waiting as we speak, I’m sure he’ll be knocking at the door in the next ten minutes.” She smirked.

“I love that for you, I really do. Although I think he’s a fucking psycho. Detavio bet not ever expect me to wash the blood off his hands after he kill somebody. Oh, my goodness, you’re just as psychotic as your man to even do that! It turns you on!” I sniggered.

“No, it doesn’t! Well, maybe a little bit!” She giggled nervously.

“Natavi, that shit turns you on a whole lot! You just said he sucks the soul out of your toes and fuck you afterwards!” I fell out and laughed harder.

My laughter subsided, Natavi smiled and grabbed my hands

“I know I’m laughing about it all now but at first, it scared me to death. I knew it was in his own weird way to reveal a side of him that he kept hidden from most. I had a choice to walk away…I couldn’t…Sometimes people walk away from the ones that pull at our heartstrings and it’s too painful to live without thinking about them…I didn’t want to be that person, I’m happy…never experienced a man like Monster but he’s mine like I’m his.” She smiled.

My front door sounded off like the police was getting ready to kick the door in. Me and Natavi looked at each other and giggled.

“Girl, get the hell out of my house and tend to your man so I can get back to dreaming of mine.” I joked but was serious at the same time.

“I love you…I’m going to ask you one more time…do you want to come with me and Monster to Detavio’s event?” Natavi ignored the loud beating on my door and looked over at me with hopeful eyes.

“No…if Detavio wanted me there…he’d come and get me himself,” I stated stubbornly.

“Okay, girl!” Natavi chuckled nervously.

“Lock the door on your way out, and don’t forget to call me tonight to tell me how it goes.” I smiled at her.

We embraced each other, and I watched Natavi hurriedly walk out of my room.