Page 32

Thirty-One

I didn’t know shit about caring for a woman, but I was willing to start. Only with Natavi. She never experienced a lot of things intimately with a man like I’ve never experienced the way she worked her fingertips through my head and massaged with care. On the outside, I appeared to be calm when I first walked through the door. Truth was, my adrenaline was sky high. I craved to kill more after taking care of Chedda.

I wanted to skip whatever plan me and Detavio had and go after Impurity first. I wanted Impurity to see what it felt like to be helpless and at somebody’s mercy. Detavio wouldn’t be able to do the things that I planned on doing to Impurity. I didn’t hold shit against Detavio, I knew it was an internal battle for him as the son who was stuck with Impurity his entire life. For me, it wasn’t shit but just me teaching a lesson to the people that wronged me from the very beginning. Once Jalissa and Impurity got handled by the hands of me. I’d be able to sleep better at night knowing the main cause of my past was no longer breathing.

I would never tell Natavi about all of the disgusting and vile things done to me since a boy. Nor would I ever tell my brothers. I was in the process of burying it all and pushing it behind me. It was a burden for me, and I didn’t want it to be a burden for anyone else.

I flicked my tongue out and swirled it around Natavi’s nipple. The sudden urge to please her instead of dominate her coldly took over me. She went the extra mile to show me that she cared. I wanted to take her mind off of Chedda. While I believed her when she said she was no longer in love with him. I had known that my actions of killing him pained her.

I ripped the band aid off and exposed to her who I truly was. I was a problem solver, a soul snatcher. It was the way that I had to be in order to survive. Natavi shivered against me as I bit around her nipple then moved to the other one. I reached between her slick legs and cupped her hot pussy and continued to suck on her sweet little nipple.

“You trust me?” I asked.

My gaze met hers as her lips parted, her eyes spoke a thousand words. I could feel all the love that she had for me as she told me yes. My heart thumped in my chest as I stood to grab the spongey loofa that she loved to bathe with. It was a first time for everything. I expressed how I truly felt and found it hard to do at first. Now, I wanted to show her. I had to be quick on my feet and learn this shit because I refused to see her unhappy. She spent too much of her time unhappy and being used as a tool.

I remained quiet, my eyes roamed up her slender long legs. I stopped and eyed her pussy with hunger. My eyes continued to trace the entire out line of her slim thick creamy colored body. I didn’t know where to start first, so I placed the loaf between her breast and dragged it between her ripe titties. The water continued to cascade down her body in shimmering streams as steam curled around us like a cocoon.

I stepped closer to her and just gazed at the way droplets of water fell down from her head down to her shoulders. My hand dragged up to her shoulders, as I brought the loofa around her neck then back down to each side of her shoulders. My free hand smudged the soap in as I massaged her soft silky skin while the smell of mango crept up my nose.

I glided my hands down her arms as the soapy trail followed. Natavi looked up at me, her expression was calm with curiosity. I moved down to her legs and cleaned both sides along with her inner thighs. I made her hold on to my back as I cleaned in between her pretty toes. I dropped the loofa and told Natavi to lay down on her back in the shower.

She looked hesitant, but this was all about trust right now. She slowly maneuvered carefully as the water rinsed away most of the soap suds that dripped down her body. I detached the shower head so that the water didn’t beat down her face. I aimed it all over her body as she laid beneath me with her legs slightly opened.

Natavi was fuckin’ gorgeous, a work of art.

“Open your legs, hold your pussy lips open.” I squatted down close with the shower head clutched in my hand.

Her eyes flittered as she spread her legs wide for me to see her flesh. I readjusted the shower head and put it on jet. The water streamed faster and harder, I aimed it directly on her clit and watched it grow erect.

“Monni!” Natavi moaned out my name as she squirmed and trembled against the wet floor.

“Wrong name.” I grunted; I brought the shower head closer.

“Master!” She whined, her hands went to her nipples.

“Drop your hands.” I moved the water closer as her legs started to shake.

“Cum for me, so I can clean you up baby.” I demanded.

She cried out as her eyes rolled back. I dropped the shower head and got between her legs. I kissed up her stomach up to her titties. I could never get enough of them. I gathered them both in my hand and sucked on both nipples as she moaned out my name over and over. Her body bucked and slid with the water as I tasted her fresh flesh. I buried my face in her titties then nipped at them.

Natavi was locked underneath me as my tongue tunneled inside of her mouth. She placed her hands on each side of my face and lifted her hips to grind her clit on my dick.

“Patience.” I warned.

“Reach down and keep that clit hard for me.” I growled in her mouth.

My tongue dominated her mouth as she took in breaths through her nose. She reached down between her legs and strummed her clit. I stopped kissing her and sat up on my knees to stroke my dick as I spat down on her clit.

“Dip your fingers inside.” I coached her.

Her fingers slid down sexily to her tunnel, she picked up the motion and started fucking herself. I leaned down still stroking my dick and pressed my mouth against her pussy while her fingers worked in and out.

“Put them in my mouth, Natavi.” I grunted.

She moaned and slid her wet fingers into my mouth. I licked and sucked her essence off of them and made her push them back in. I ran my nose down to her ass then back up to her sex. I teased her as she pushed her fingers in and out of her pussy by licking around her erect clit.

“Cum baby, don’t take those fucking fingers out yet.” I gritted out.

Her ass lifted as I sucked on her clit harder, her legs started to shake as I replaced her fingers with my mouth and lapped up all of her cum as she whimpered and continued to shake uncontrollably. Once she settled down, I craned my body over hers. I grabbed a handful of her thick wavy hair and wrapped it around my fist. She pressed her lips against mine as she sex drunkenly kissed me.

I sat down and pulled her to me as she slipped and slid into my lap. Her small fingers traced over my scars and up and down my biceps.

“Grab it.” I made my dick jump against her stomach.

She used two hands to grip and tug at it.

“Can I?—”

“Taste it, do what you want to it, it’s yours,” I told her, feeling intoxicated off of her.

She maneuvered off of me, the water ran down over my head as the shower head that I took off beat at my side. Her tongue flicked across the head of my dick, she parted her pouty lips and dragged them up and down my shaft. Her tongue stuck out as she moved it down to my balls. She came back up to the tip and was about to suck but I stopped her. I pulled her to me and laid her ass back down.

I lifted her leg until her knee touched the side of her head. I thrusted inside of her at an angle intended to break her apart right on the floor. We both choked on our own sounds of appreciation. I leaned down and bit into her neck then brought her foot to my mouth and latched on to her big toe.

I took in a deep breath then started fucking her deep. I slammed into her violently, her titties bounced and slapped her in the chin. I released her toe and kissed her intensely as I stroked her merciless. We gave in to each other as her hips worked against each stroke that I delivered. My fingers dug into her hips as her back arched beautifully. The sight of her moaning with her mouth slightly parted while her pussy squeezed and choked my dick made me fall deeper into a trance.

I demanded for her to cum through baited breaths, and on cue, Natavi exploded just as I flooded her walls shamelessly. I felt my muscles lock up, my body grew rigid. Natavi’s arms wrapped around my neck as she cried softly.

“Monni…” She panted.

I laid down and pulled her limp body on top of mine, my dick twitched as I guided her back down my sensitive flaccid girth. Soon as the warmth of her pussy engulfed my dick, it bricked back up.

“Talk to me, baby.” I spoke in a hushed tone.

“I—I haven’t been taking birth control. My period hasn’t came on since I’ve been here. If I’m pregnant…I don’t want to get rid of my baby, Monni.” She choked out.

Natavi sniveled and cried softly into my chest. I stroked her back in circles and closed my eyes for a couple of seconds.

“Monni?” She called my name frantically.

“Shhh, I’m thinking.” I continued to stroke her back.

My entire world tilted as I kept moving my hand up and down her back. The water rained down on us as I felt the heat between our still bodies. Happiness and sadness coursed through me from what she admitted. A thousand things collided, making my chest constrict. A baby…My baby…. I thought as I swallowed down a painful lump in my throat.

Darkness crept into my train of thinking. My hand faltered on her back as I balled my fingers into a loose fist to stop the shaking. Love…Acceptance…all of that was foreign and new to me. It still at times felt impossible to obtain. I woke up next to Natavi most days thinking that I was just dreaming, and at any moment, a new nightmare would begin. Impurity and Jalissa’s face flashed through my mind as I grew rigid; my body locked up, but my shaking couldn’t be contained.

I thought about the absence of love in every word that they never said. They never wanted me, they didn’t want none of us but themselves. If they couldn’t love me, how could I expect to give what I’ve never had? I told Natavi that I was in love because I didn’t know what other better way to describe what I was feeling for her. It was true, but a baby…my baby…How would I treat it?

“Baby, relax, please.” Natavi sat up in a panic. She placed her hand on top of my chest and held my hand.

Her thumb caressed the top of my hand as she tried to soothe me.

“I don’t know if I’m pregnant just yet. I mean, I think I am…but I’m not sure. Monni, relax!” She leaned in and placed kisses all over my face.

“Take deep breaths, baby.”

I heard her but she sounded so far away. It felt like I couldn’t breathe, I started to panic as I gasped for air to fill my lungs. My heart pounded so hard, making it feel like it was getting ready to pop out of my chest. Every inch of me shook, my body felt like it was made out of glass getting ready to shatter at any moment.

“Hey, baby…Breathe with me and try to relax, okay?”

I tried to focus on her, but my mind raced with jagged thoughts which caused it to spin too fast for me to relax. I felt the weight of her small hands that pressed against my shoulders. She grounded me in place while one of her hands ran along my arm like she did herself when her own anxiety got the best of her. She stroked my arm in slow soothing motions as she continued to talk to me.

“Breathe in. Slowly, then hold it…Now breathe out.” Natavi’s voice wrapped around me, gentle and insistently.

“I got you always, you have to trust me, too.” Her heavy tear drops fell on top of my face mixed in with the water that now felt icy cold.

I don’t know how many times it took, nor how long I remained in the same panicked state. Slowly, the world started to come back into focus, my dizziness lifted and the tightness in my chest loosened. My hands followed by the rest of my body stopped shaking just a little. I felt like I wasn’t losing control over myself anymore.

“Feeling better, baby?” She smiled sadly.

I nodded my head, not wanting to move my body just yet. I felt raw and exposed, like I just gone through an invisible war. I trembled lightly, still trying to catch my breath. The best thing about it all, was Natavi holding me, not letting go with no judgement in her eyes.

“Come on, let me dry you off and get you in the bed. You need to eat and get rest.” She stood then swirled around to turn off the panel of water.

My thoughts felt like fire and ice mixing together. I told myself that I could do it all. I could prove them wrong and show them if they watched from the afterlife that I could be a better parent then Jalissa and Impurity. I’m going to give it my all and force myself to realize that they didn’t define my future.

Once I stood to my feet and stepped out of the shower with Natavi close behind me. She dried me off from head to toes then made me get in the bed. Natavi confidently walked out of the room and came back with a plate of baked BBQ chicken, brussel sprouts, and chicken rice. I loved her cooking, and although today she cooked something light, I tore it down then rested on my side.

Minutes later, Natavi’s arms slipped around me, warm and firm. She pulled my back against her and every muscle in my body tensed like I had gotten hit with an electric shock. My mind instantly screamed for space because it was what I was used to. Her soft breasts pressed against my back unyielding, I froze and couldn’t move. I didn’t do shit like this, I didn’t know what it was that she was trying to do. Natavi’s breath was warm against the back of my neck, her chin rested below my ear. I counted the number of times her chest rose and fell.

I told myself to pull away but my body had a mind of its own right now. My heart thundered in my chest as her delicate fingers rubbed up and down my arm. I loved it, I never thought I would love something so simple but it made me feel wanted. It made my chest ache at how perfectly she fit up against me. Was Natavi teaching me how to hold and make her feel secure in my arms. Maybe we needed to take turns at this because I loved it. My body relaxed. I chuckled at my own thinking as I let my guard slip away.

“You okay, baby?” She shifted a little, enough for me to still feel her warm body pressed against mine.

Relief washed over me, and I felt peace. Natavi anchored me to something that wasn’t chaos for once. My heart slowed down and my breathing returned to normal.

“I know that you are pregnant…I panicked bad about it. I never had none of what you’re bringing to me. I don’t know how to operate outside of destruction. But I love this shit, and I’ll do anything to keep it and prove that I’m better than my parents. You teaching me love, I’m embracing it so I can give it to you and our baby.” I picked up her hand and kissed the back of it then closed my eyes.