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Sixteen

I sat livid inside of my mother’s coffee shop. I looked down at the time and scoffed as I realized that it was nearing four p.m. I was already paranoid, I kept looking outside the window because it felt like someone was watching me. I knew he was watching me, stalking me, I just couldn’t prove it.

At first it terrified me, the knowledge of being watched and knowing that he touched and did something to me that I wasn’t aware of while I slept and dreamed about him. I hadn’t felt his presence since the time he broke into my parents’ house. He left that newspaper clipping, leaving me with a million questions. I was finally moved into my new place and I still felt like he was watching me.

I uploaded several short clips of interviews to gain his attention and there was nothing from him, not even a sign that he was getting ready to come after me. I laid in bed every night hating him, then I would feel crazy rolling onto my back to spread my legs and touch myself. Something was seriously wrong with him and I felt like he was to blame for all of what was driving me insane.

My rational mind screamed that all of what he did was wrong, violating my privacy and stalking me was against the law. No one, not even myself, should feel flattered by Detavio’s behavior, or even desire it. But…there was something intoxicating about being the focus of his obsessive attention. It was as if his watchful eyes validated my existence. I can admit that I was to blame for that, because it was me that decided to look further into the sick Decebal men.

My stomach churned at my own wild thoughts. I hated myself for thinking the way that I have been thinking lately. How the hell could I find contentment and find comfort in his twisted ways and the way he was going about everything? I tried to push my sexual thoughts and dreams of him away and failed miserably. I realized that I kept dreaming about him because at night the thought and thrill of him would creep into the forefront of my brain and ignite an inner turmoil that I couldn’t escape.

I was stressed, caught up in shame and desire, mixed with something that I never felt with another person…fear… The truth of it all terrified me, but the realization of me enjoying the game that he was playing with me, troubled me even more.

I sighed hard, then I forced him out of my mind. I hated that he went through my mind all day when I was supposed to despise his sick ass. I put my mind back on Natavi and her tardiness and felt myself grow salty by her not being here when she said she would be here.

It was never like Natavi to stand me up, she only responded to my text message one time and that was over two hours ago to tell me that she was sorry for not making it to Hollywood. I looked forward to having several drinks with her and getting everything off of my chest. I also was curious to find out what made her say that this client that she was currently with was her last client. That was hard to believe because Natavi had grown accustomed to the fast and easy money that it came with.

I told Natavi that we could reschedule for another day but she texted back and said that we could meet at my mother’s coffee shop. She let me know that she was getting in the shower and would Uber to me. Here it was two hours after our text, and she was still a no show.

After another hour of being stuck and lost in my own thoughts, the glass door to the coffee shopped chimed and in walked Natavi. She was tall and radiant looking, Tavi glowed like she had the sun above her. Her light complexion was blemish free as her lips stretched into a wide contagious smile.

She rocked a long tan trench coat that swayed with each step that she took as her heels clicked softly on the tiled floor. Her real hair was pressed bone straight, it framed her face perfectly like she just walked off a runway. There was no mistaking the spark that I hadn’t seen in her eyes for years. Realization hit, this wasn’t courtesy of Chedda. Who was my girl falling in love with?

I stood up as I watched her glide across the coffee shop like she was floating on clouds.

“Girl, you are late, and I don’t do late,” I said as I smiled hard at her.

I forgot about all of my current problems as she laughed, tilting her head back. At the same time, we reached for each other and embraced tightly before taking a seat across from one another.

“I’m yours until about one a.m, I have a curfew set in place or else the big bad wolf will come searching for me.” She blushed hard and giggled.

Abe, one of my mother’s employees, walked up and greeted Natavi with her favorite caramel Frappuccino.

“Thanks, Abe. Good to see you, friend.” She smiled up at him, now it was his turn to blush and walk away quickly like a stick was stuck up his ass.

“Look at the effects that man has on you, girl!” I giggled, overjoyed to finally lay eyes on my best friend.

“Spill it heifa! I remember that look from when we were in high school! Who the hell is this guy and when do I meet him so I can drill him?” I asked, ready to get to the meat and potatoes of our conversation.

“Damnnnn, I can’t even sip my coffee in peace. It’s just how I like it too, with extra caramel.” She danced in her seat before taking another sip.

“Spill it, Tavi!” I persisted, wanting her to tell me who this new man was. She knew that I didn’t have any kind of patience.

“Okay, okay! Damn! I’ll tell you if you agree to go out with me tonight. I brought a bomb ass body suit that I want to take pictures in, and before you lie and say that you don’t have nothing to wear, I bought you the same one as me as a gift. You can wear it with those studded red bottoms that I bought you a couple of months ago…Oh and it’s not white, Angel.” She smirked as she rolled her eyes.

“What size is it?” My left brow rose.

“I know you wear a 2X, but hear me out! It’s stretchy, so I got you a 1X! Girrrlllll, that big ol booty gon’ jiggle from left to right all night!” She cackled.

I rolled my eyes and smacked my lips. Natavi loved to wear matching outfits whenever we went out, and if we didn’t have the exact same outfit, she made sure we color coordinated with one another. My favorite color was white, but I didn’t mind stepping out of my white clothing to put on another color.

“Okay, enough of all of that. I’ll go out with you, we can go to my house so you can see our new place, then get dressed there. Whenever you done with this so-called new client of yours, we can go to Chedda’s place with the police to pack up your personal belongings,” I insisted as I rolled my eyes.

“That won’t even be necessary, girl. Fuck those personal belongings and Chedda!” She snapped her fingers.

My mouth dropped open as reality hit me. Natavi was really done with Chedda, especially if she agreed so easily to leave her expensive belongings behind and move in with me with no argument or needing me to convince her of how much of a piece of shit he was.

“Start talking, now.” I looked directly into Natavi’s eyes.

“He’s a good man, but then again…honestly speaking, he’s not. My goodness, Angel. I don’t know how to express it.” Her voice was soft and hesitant.

Natavi stared down at her frappe and sighed.

“He’s dark and complicated. Monni is very ruthless, but I feel like there is something about him that I can’t just walk away from, even after our time together comes to an end. I lied and told him that I want to be his friend when our time is up and that’s not what I want.” Her words trailed off.

A long sigh escaped my lips as I shook my head in disbelief.

“You can’t fix everything that you come across that’s broken,” I told her.

Natavi stomped her heels against the floor and leaned her head back in disappointment.

“But Angel, I want to fix him. I want to make him feel like he belongs, make him feel loved and wanted. He needs it. Monni is different, rough around the edges, but I sense that he was done wrong so many times while I’ve been done wrong once by a man who refuses to love me like I loved him.”

I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to keep my expression neutral, though my heart was racing.”

Natavi looked exactly how I felt on the inside, like a lost confused soul that was tumbling down a path that she and I knew could be dangerous, yet it felt like we both couldn’t resist.

“You’re falling for him?” I asked lowly.

Natavi nodded, biting her lip.

“It’s like he sees parts of me that no one will try to see. The broken parts, and ugly. He doesn’t flinch or recoil when he devours me raw. He doesn’t treat me like some random ass hoe, and he—he saved me before. Last night was the first night I felt him inside of me, and I don’t think that it’s just the dick. I feel a strong connection.”

“None of that scares you?” I couldn’t hide the concern that crept up my face.

“Yes, Angel. It scares me but I got this feeling that I know I won’t turn away from him. Unless he pushes me hard away from him. I want to know more about him, his past and why he operates how he does.” Her words trailed off.

“It’s like he thrills me, I should hate how he acts and some of the crazy ass actions that he has showed me. Instead, I just grow more and more curious and turned on by all of it.”

We both remained silent as I withheld from my best friend for the very first time. I didn’t want to reveal that some of what she confessed about this Monni man was exactly the way that I felt about Detavio. I shifted in my seat nervously and couldn’t believe what all Natavi had just stated.

I wanted to grab her by the shoulders, shake her, and then tell her ass to run far away from this man. To me, a lot came with trying to fix a broken man. A woman would give her all to take the time and pick up all the broken pieces to a man off the ground. Glue all of those pieces together and put them back neatly, all for him to give a woman nothing.

You fix a man, and they just up and leave you how they found you. Loss and more broken then how they found you. Pour into a man and watch him drink what’s left in your cup. It wasn’t worth it, and maybe Natavi had to learn the hard way since Chedda wasn’t a good enough lesson for her.

“Just be careful, Tavi. I don’t like none of what you’re telling me, but I got your back fully,” I said.

I sat in front of her torn between wanting to protect her from a pending heart ache to realizing that she was already too far gone.

“Please, be careful, and I do mean that.”

“I am; now, come on. Enough of all of this serious talk. I know you got some real liquor at your house. Plus, on the way to our new house, you can tell me all about why you and Pops got into it.” Excitement skated across her face and instantly got back in a good mood.

“Okay girl, it’s Friday night. Let’s turn the hell up.”