Page 14

Thirteen

“Look how stiff your nipples are. Is your clit as hard right now, Tavi?” Monster stood from his barstool.

He didn’t make any sudden movements, he just stood in front of his stool. Shirtless, untamable, Monster was a big mystery that I wanted to solve but couldn’t. I had been here for a week, doing absolutely nothing besides reading books on my Kindle from my phone and getting devoured by Monster’s mouth. He had an appetite for eating my pussy. What confused me the most was how he hadn’t made a move to fuck me.

I loved feeling his mouth and tongue on my intimate parts down south. I was starting to grow bored with being cooped up in this cold empty house that made me feel like I was living somewhere off the map, tucked away in a faraway place.

“Can we talk?” I turned away from him. I wasn’t in the mood to be sexualized.

My eyes looked over his kitchen, I stood in the center of it. The countertops were bare, his cabinets dark wooded edges were chipped and worn. I could tell that he lived in solitude for years in this place with no one to help him decorate or even visit him. He seemed to embrace the solitude; it didn’t bother him a bit because he did the same thing every day.

“Talk.” His deep voice made me shiver.

It turned me on instantly. I absently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and turned back toward him. I looked over the ingredients that I was going to make us for breakfast and shook my head as a thought came to mind. Monster hadn’t paid me yet, and instead of me cooking breakfast, we could go out and get something to eat. Since I was supposed to be here for over a month or just a month, he could let me help him decorate his house and make it cozier.

“Well, I wanted to talk about you paying me. Usually, I get paid up front… plus, I’m bored every day just sitting in this house while you go to work. Maybe you could?—”

“You can leave whenever I leave, there’s a spare key in the backyard under the black mat.” Monster cut me off.

“And…about my payment?” My words trailed off as nervousness took over me.

“Go to your room and empty your suitcase.” He stated in an annoyed tone.

“Why?” I asked.

“Just do it!” His words slammed into the air carried by a venomous edge that made me flinch hard.

“Talk too fuckin’ much!” He bellowed.

The fury in his tone curled around me like a noose tightening around my neck. His eyes were cold and burned with hate. My heart raced, each beat hammered against my chest.

“Now!” I jumped again with tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

Monster was hot and cold, he didn’t talk much and whenever he had to talk to me he sounded annoyed with each word that left his mouth. The only time that I felt comfortable and confident was when he munched on my pussy. He ate it like he was in love with me, and that’s what confused me and made me nervous all in one breath.

He touched my body like he studied it and knew all my sensitive spots and what sent me over the edge like a map. I quickly went into my room that felt far away all of a sudden and went straight to my suitcase to empty out all of my clothes onto my very uncomfortable bed. The bed felt like I was laying on bricks. I didn’t bother to put any of my personal items in the dresser that was attached to a mirror because I was too scared of all the spider webs surrounding it.

When I walked out of the room with my suitcase, Monster was now standing on the side of my door with a black hoodie on. Saying nothing, his cold hand wrapped around my wrist as he led the way to whatever destination he was taking me to. His grip was firm as he pulled me through the hallway. Each step felt deliberate and cold, like this was the end of me.

I stumbled as I struggled to keep up with his pace from all the long and fast strides that he took. We made it to the back of his house. I coughed from all the dust. He let my wrist go and used his shoulder to push with force against a wooden door that gave in after a couple of pushes.

The door creaked opened, I swallowed down hard as he stepped in. He roughly flicked on the light. Even with the dim light, the staircase descended into darkness.

“I don’t want to go down there, Monster. Sorry if I offended you in the kitchen. I just wanted to talk about my payment then offer to take you out to breakfast. If you would allow that, it’s what I wanted to do from the heart. I also wanted to do some shopping for your house.” I started to ramble on nervously as the coldness from the staircase got to me.

Monster’s shoulders visibly relaxed as his thick brows bunched up in confusion.

“You want to take me out to eat?” He scratched the top of his head.

“Ye-yeah I do, I wanted to get out the house. Instead of me cooking, I figured we’d go out; that way, I can enjoy being out of the house.”

“I’m not holding you hostage, Natavi. You can leave during the day, your just here to please me sexually.” He talked a little softer, which made me feel a little more comfortable with expressing myself.

How am I pleasing him sexually when all he does every night is eat my pussy? I asked myself, more curious on to why he was only giving me head every night.

“I don’t have nothing else to do, this is what I do for work. So, I wanted you to go with me as company.” I smiled weakly.

“You want me…” he pointed at his chest cruelly.

“You want to be seen with me out in public?” His top lip curled in disgust.

My eyes dropped down to the worn wooden floor as my confidence faltered under his hard glare.

“I know, you probably don’t want anyone thinking that I’m your girlfriend. We are just associates, you don’t have to hold my hand and I won’t try any display of public affection?—”

“I’m ugly as fuck, what the fuck wrong with you?” He asked me like he was offended.

“People see me and already know my government name without asking…Monster! Muthafucka’s too scared to look at me, so why the fuck do you want to be seen with me?” He squinted his deep-set eyes at me in high suspicion.

“You’re not ugly at all, your scars don’t define you.” I simpered.

I took a step close, and he backed up as if I was a disease that he was afraid to catch.

“These scars and burnt marks!!” He shouted.

Monster gestured to the scars that marred his skin, thick and ragged lines that snaked across his face and neck like a map of pain. A painful lump rose to the top of my throat that was almost impossible for me to swallow down. It felt like he was telepathing his years of pain, and it was now begging to come out of him.

“These scars aren’t just marks. They’re me. This is who I’ve become over the years. Ugly inside and out.” His fists clenched at his sides.

My eyes traced up the veins that bulged out of his arms. Monster’s body shook with the weight of emotions too heavy to hold but, somehow, he maintained with uneven breaths that escaped his thick lips.

“I break people because I’m already broken. I don’t need you to convince or feel sorry either. I see myself in that fucked up mirror down the hallway every day.” His deep rugged voice cracked before he quickly cleared his throat.

The scars on Monster’s entire body told a painful deep story. I wanted him to open up to me and talk about it. Right now, I wanted to embrace him and heal him at the same time. Everybody deserved to feel loved, and Monster probably went through life feeling rejected.

I took a step forward, this time he didn’t move. I reached out with confidence and grabbed his right hand. Once I stepped into his space, I took in a deep breath inhaling his scent of Shea butter with hints of soap.

“You’re not ugly—” I paused, not wanting to even refer to him as Monster although that was the name he gave me.

“Monni…you can call me, Monni.” He looked at me for a brief second then looked away.

“Okay, Monni. I don’t think that you’re ugly. You may have some ugly ways but I’m attracted to you. You can always fix what’s on the inside of you. I think that you have spent years convincing yourself of being ugly, now you actually believe it. Only you can change that, but I can reassure you that you’re not ugly at all. You fine as hell, actually. You’re chocolate, tall, with a damn beard for God’s sake. You walk with a limp?—”

“The fuck does that mean?” His face contorted then what shocked me was a small smile broke through.

“It means, I know you got a big dick, and I want to feel it…whenever you’re ready. Besides our agreement, I want to be your friend even after our time is up.” I brought his hand up until it reached my lips.

I didn’t want to mess up a great moment between him and I so I simply kissed the back of his hand.

“Come on, Tavi. Time to get paid.” He smirked.

Monni grabbed my hand and led me down the steps. The faint smell of dampness and dust hung in the air mixed with the smell of heavy chemicals. I could hear the faint echo of our footsteps on the wooden stairs as silenced pressed around us. Soon as we reached the bottom, Monni pulled on a white string. The lights flickered on revealing a sight that made me want to collapse, a sight I had never witnessed in my life.

His underground basement stretched farther then I could see; it looked bigger than upstairs. It wasn’t the space that held me captive, it was all the stacks of cash that had stolen my breath away. Piles of cash, stacked from the floor to the ceiling. Some bundles were neatly wrapped, others spilled over in chaotic heaps. The room smelled of ink and paper.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from all of the money before me. I never in my life saw some shit like this with my own two eyes.

“Monni, I?—”

“You left your suitcase at the top of the staircase. I want you to fill it up. When we go out to eat, we can go furniture shopping. You can buy a large suitcase then fill that up too with more money. Only under one condition.” He turned toward me.

“Wha-what’s the condition?” I asked hesitantly.

“Stop selling yourself. There are people around the world being forced to do what you’re doing. You beautiful, too beautiful to be at the hands of any man who has a dollar. The money you take from down here will be enough to start over.” He tucked his hand into his sweats and looked around the money filled space surrounding us.

“Oh Monni!” I choked up.

I tried to hold back my floodgates and all of the emotions rushing through me but it was hard.

“M-my ex, well, I guess you can call him my pimp. He can’t know about this, he’d want a cut. While I’m here with you…I can look for an apartment…better yet, I can go stay with my best friend. I’ll feel more safe. Maybe I can?—”

“Relax, Natavi. No one has to know about all the money that you are getting from me. If you tell anyone where the fuck I live, I’ll?—”

“Break me or kill me, I’m not stupid, Monni, and you don’t have to ruin my moment! This is a life changing moment for me. Your grumpy ass will not ruin it.” I giggled, but was serious.

Monni could stand there looking all mean and handsome, but he no longer scared me. What he had was a hard exterior but inside was made out of gold. He had to have a heart to want me out of the current lifestyle that I was in. Maybe he went through something similar but by force in his past…that’s why he—he wants me to stop selling myself! I choked up, and dropped my head, seconds later I looked into Monni’s eyes with tears falling down my cheeks.

“Tavi?” he raised a brow and looked at me amused.

“First you laugh, now you are crying. Something is off about you.” He shook his head at me.

“Can I… Can I please hug you?” I asked him with a gentle voice that held an unspoken plea; he needed it as bad as I did.

It was more of a request than a demand, I didn’t understand the weight of his soul but I could feel his pain. He stared at me with uncertainty. I let long seconds go by, unafraid of the space between us now. I understood that this was probably something foreign to him, and he was mentally battling with himself right now. I wasn’t going to force myself on him. Today was probably a big step for him, he talked more than he talked to me the entire week of me being here with him.

“I don’t know how, I want to,” he stated hesitantly.

“Can I show you?” I wiped my wet face and took small steps toward him.

He nodded his head yes, just as I closed the space between us. Slowly, his hands moved, tentatively and awkwardly as they reached out to me. His arms encircled me just as my arms tried to close around him. I managed to clasp my hands behind his back. My chest pressed against his chest as warmth flooded through me. I held onto him tightly, he released a breath and tucked his nose and mouth into the nook of my neck.

I released my hands and stroked up and down his muscular back in a soothing motion. Hopefully this moment would make him feel good about himself.

“Sometimes, healing begins with just being held, Monni.”