Page 24

Story: The Filth Kings

Twenty-Three

I stood in the center of Monni’s living room with my hands on my hips as I addressed two men holding a nice black suede Lazy boy chair.

“That chair can go right there…” I pointed to the corner.

“I want the lamp next to it, right by the window,” I instructed.

A sense of pride swelled inside of me as I watched the men move the heavy furniture with practiced ease. I also discovered that this was something I could see myself doing for work other than taking on clients. I stripped all the worn black wallpaper from Monni’s walls, his furniture was old and mismatched. I also noticed that the lightning throughout his four-bedroom house was bad.

In two days, I was able to come up with different themes in order to bring forth warmth and comfort in his home. Monni had been acting shitty for the past couple of days. Either in his room or not here at all. I missed conversing with him, but this morning when I woke up, a rush of excitement hit me. I started rearranging things before the furniture deliverers arrived.

He didn’t tell me how much or what his limit was for me to spend. So I totally decided on my own to spare no expenses and deck his entire place out. I never gave much thought about designing before. I never seen it as a casual interest or a hobby. Today, the pieces clicked in place. I realized that it wasn’t just about making his space look nice and classy. It was about creating an experience. I wanted him to feel peace and comfort soon as he walked in.

Most of all, I wanted Monni to feel more of himself. If he refused to continue to be my friend after this, it would hurt my feelings but at least he would remember me by all of this. I signed up for online interior design courses, and even looked up local workshops close to Angel’s house that I could join. It felt like I was slowly but surely finding my purpose.

I had spent years living in uncertainty, I had an unnamed longing that I couldn’t figure out for the longest. Everyone that I was surrounded by moved with purpose, their paths well-lit while mines remained fogged up. I had myself to blame, following behind a man who never gave two shits about me to begin with. I talked to my parents in circles whenever they asked me what was I actually doing for myself. My true answer was, absolutely nothing.

If I got into interior design, I would be able to go home to my parents and feel proud of myself. When the men were done moving everything into Monni’s house, I did a walk through, amazed at my brilliant choices. Everything was themed perfectly to fit Monni’s dark personality. A charcoal gray sofa with sleek lines sat against the wall adorned with black velvet pillows. The coffee table made a statement with a piece of dark oak with brass accents attached to it. I added dark wood frame bookshelves in each corner of his living room. I wanted to fill them with books but didn’t want to get too besides myself ordering up a whole bunch of items when I already spent a lot on furniture.

Instead, I filled it with naked black sculptures and glass vases. I eyed one of the bookshelves that was obvious upon walking through the front door. My stomach got tight as I said a silent prayer. I silently wondered if Monni would get mad that I found the picture of him and some Chinese looking girl in his top dresser drawer. It was in a crystal frame, they looked to be young in their teens. The framed photo was the only one that I discovered in his house, and it was too beautiful to be hidden in a damn drawer.

It was obvious to me that the two were good friends. The girl on the picture smiled brightly while Monni’s eyes were void of any emotion. I continued to scan the front room; it was the little details that really stood out the most to me. I smiled to myself, grateful for how this new, dark-themed world that I created reflected a side of him that I had already saw small parts of, but wanted to know and see more to understand him better.

I walked down the hallway to his room that was at the end of the hall and opened up the door. I became giddy inside and impatient for Monni to get home. I would be the first to break in his new bed that was more comfortable than any bed that I ever laid in. Monni’s new bed was larger than his old one. I thought it was ridiculous to have a big room with a bed that was small, so I ordered him a double king bed. The frame was matte black along with the comforter. I ordered a variety of plush pillows with different textures like velvet, leather, and satin, which made it look sensual.

His dresser had a mirror with gold trimmings, and it made all of the black in his room stand out. I went with the colors black, gold, and charcoal gray from the guest rooms, living room, and his room. Monni’s room had a more sensual feel to it. I put heavy black curtains and plush black rugs to cover up the ugly scraped up wooden floors.

Each nightstand had gold and black skull table lamps. I wasn’t sure if his heater worked or if he just kept the AC running all damn day but I ordered multiple mini space heaters for each room. I walked around his room and lit three mahogany teakwood candles that I ordered from Bath and Body Works before going to take a shower in his bathroom.

I hoped that I wasn’t imposing but his shower was bigger than the guest room shower. Plus, I hated walking across the hallway just to go back into my room to lotion and get dressed. Although Monni was back to his normal quiet self, and I had picked up on his shitty mood these past couple of days. I hoped that all of what I did to his house would make him happy. The only space that I didn’t get a chance to order items for was his kitchen. Once he got home, I was going to ask him if I could do that as well.

The steam from the shower wrapped around me like a warm embrace. My mind was light and carefree as I started to sing with my eyes closed as the hot water cascaded all over my face. I lathered up my body then started to rinse off but froze when I heard a loud crash from the other side of the wall.

Seconds later, I heard another loud crash followed by the sound of glass breaking. My mind started to race with the wildest scenario’s that didn’t make any type of sense in my head. My heart rate quickened as the loud banging continued to sound off. My eyes welled up with tears as fear clawed its way up my throat. I couldn’t move, I took in short spurts of air as I listened to all of the violent noises.

The next loud bang grew closer, it sounded like it was inside of Monni’s room. I shut the shower off with shaky hands and snatched a towel to wrap around me. My nerves were so bad, that I almost lost my balance when I stepped out onto the tiled floor.

“FUCKING BITCH!” My heart stalled at hearing Monni’s voice.

I stood in the bathroom frozen for a minute too long then snapped out of it when he hurled something at the bathroom door. This asshole in there fucking up everything that I put thought in care into! I thought as my fear quickly got replaced with anger. I stomped across the bathroom floor almost busting my ass in the process. I pushed the door open and the sight in front of me, made my heart skip a beat, then race in fury. How could he be so insane!

“Monster! What the fuck is wrong with you!” I yelled at his back.

Everything was destroyed, including the mirror that was attached to the dresser, down to the skull lamps that cost a lot of money.

“I want you…” He paused.

He picked up the small framed photo of him and the girl that I placed on the bookshelf and looked at it for a couple of seconds. His other hand balled into a tight fist as he cleared his throat.

“I want you to take that large suitcase…” He turned toward me.

The way his dark eyes penetrated mine, chilled me to the bone.

“G-go fill that suitcase up with the money I promised.” He struggled to get the words out.

As bad as I wanted to curse him out, something stalled in me to hold back what I was getting ready to say. He looked like he was about to have a break down. His face went through several emotions before it finally went emotionless. I watched his jaws clench as his eyes grew darker. Monni gripped the framed photo so tightly the glass started to crack.

“Monni—I?—”

“I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE, BITCH!” He roared.

“I don’t understand! I decorated, you said that it was okay to?—”

“Get the fuck out before I kill you, Natavi. You are triggering the fuck out of me right now. You want to challenge me and try to control me. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!” His words reverberated through the space like an explosion

I looked down at the framed photo again and realized that the picture was dear to him. It triggered something inside of him, and I had violated without noticing it. I just wanted to do something special for him and I fucked that up. Seeing the look in his eyes told me that I had fucked up in a major way.

“Monni—”

“Monster.” He gritted.

The correction to the nickname that he told me to call him crushed me.

“This is mine!” He held the frame up high.

“You think you can just come in here—and touch what the fuck belongs to me? You been snooping through my shit! Disrespect comes with a price. You better leave before you pay.” His voice lowered dangerously low.

I took another step as I held my arms out. He needed a hug, he needed to feel me. I wanted him to feel and know that I would never disrespect him to hurt him.

“Stop!” His face twisted in anger as his free hand balled back into a fist.

“This- is all I have left of—” His voice shook.

His voice no longer held rage but sounded broken. I could see sadness as it unraveled before me. His hurt radiated off of him painfully. I could feel it, it made my heart crack in half for him. I just want to hold you and love on you. Let me pour into you, Monni. I thought as I swallowed down a painful lump.

“Monn—Monster…How will I understand if you don’t open up to me and talk to me. I didn’t know, I just wanted to do something special for you. You gave me a lot of money. That’s a blessing for me, a new start. I didn’t touch it to disrespect or overstep. I-I did it to make you happy, to do something to show that I care.” I explained.

“A lot of men give you money!” He spat.

Tears rolled down my face. What he said was like a punch to the gut although his words were true. It sounded shitty coming from his mouth, I thought he was starting to see me in a different light.

“It’s not how much you gave! You gave me enough to start over and you are still offering more. You want to be evil so bad…” I stopped talking for a couple of seconds to shake my head at his strong attempt to push me away.

“Your actions show the opposite! If I’m nothing but a prostitute to you then why did you give me your card to shop freely with! Why do you want me in your bed instead of the guest room! You trust me in this house alone, with millions of dollars tucked in a fuckin’ basement! You care, Monster, I know you do! A huge part of you trusts me as well. You just try to convince yourself that you don’t.” I took another step but his unwavering icy look, stopped me in my tracks.

I could feel the fury that burned from his orbs.

“I’m sorry, Monster. I’ll leave, I don’t need the extra money that you’re offering.” I pushed the words out painfully as a low sob left my throat.

Slowly, I made my way to his room door.

“You don’t understand what it’s like or how hard it is, do you? To have someone so got damn precious, beautiful, someone that understands you and loves you for who you are and not what they can do for you. To dream about the future, freedom, and life with that person. You both share the same fuckin’ pain… then… the devil burns them right before your eyes, stealing their life and its nothing that you can do to… SAVE HER!” His voice vibrated off the walls.

“I don’t understand, nor do I know. I crave that kind of love, I want to know what it feels like…to not be judged for the things I’ve done from making dumb decisions. Loving the wrong man was detrimental for me, but I know that God sent me a broken soul in you. That’s why I stopped being afraid of you…” My voice wavered as I kept my back to him.

“It’s no coincidence that you saved me before, and now I’m here.” My chest tightened as a lump formed in my throat, making it hard for me to speak.

“You’re broken in ways that I see clearly; it explains the way you talk and the way that you carry yourself. I know that it’s someone else’s fault. You don’t want to acknowledge how broken you are…I just know that I’m here, like you are here for a reason. Doesn’t matter if it was contracted or not. I’m here to fix the part of you that’s been buried under all of this darkness. Just like you are here to help me find my purpose. I’ve been lost and searching for something that I’ve been missing in my life for so long that I didn’t even know that I was missing purpose. I was afraid to admit that to myself but you’re the one who’s meant to show me the way.” I exhaled shakily.

It was the scary truth. I didn’t understand the pull at first between him and I. I discovered it earlier when I watched the furniture guys move around his house. I stood in the same spot thinking of how my feelings for him blossomed so fast. I didn’t think about Chedda once since being under the same roof with Monni.

“I believe with everything in me that God brought us together. You—with all of your pain and brokenness is meant to be a part of my journey. We are here to help each other heal and save each other, so we can actually live,” I said softly, feeling my emotions spill out of me

I wasn’t just trying to offer him a hand, but a piece of me in exchange for a piece of him. Although it sounded bizarre and crazy, and I didn’t know how to explain it to him. This was more than just feeling something for him. A certain word had been swirling in my head for days. I denied the word because it was too soon, but I felt it in my chest, and now it couldn’t be ignored. It was too strong, too real.

Monni was so different and complicated; he was very distant but there was something in him that made me want to be here regardless of the red flags.

“I’m drawn to you in a way that I can’t control. I know it’s too soon to say that I love you, but I’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s more than an attraction or the way you touch, lick, or fuck me?—”

“Go!” His voice boomed.

I jumped then dropped my head in defeat. I didn’t want to leave but wouldn’t force myself to stay where I wasn’t welcomed.

“Okay, I’ll go.” My lips trembled as my heart shattered from his cold rejection. It took a lot of courage to say all of what I just expressed to him. I thought that it hurt when Chedda did me cold, this here felt worse.

I tightened my towel around my chest then gripped my left arm. I stroked up and down my arm, hoping to find comfort. Nothing was working, it was best for me to bow out gracefully and pray that he gets the help and love that he desperately needed.

“Any love that I gave you, Monster…It’s yours to keep.”