Page 16 of The Enemy’s Defector (Ivanov Syndicate #3)

NIKOLAI

K aterina and I were getting along better. With the sexual tension addressed and no longer an oppressive sticking point between us, we were more at peace to talk more. And there was a lot to cover.

When she got out her laptop, I watched as she hacked into more security cameras at my family’s building. All seemed well, but I was confused about why I couldn’t see much of Damon.

Or this maid that Katerina sent to marry him or Saul. Saul was there, looking as normal as possible.

“Do you know what happened to that maid?” I asked her as she settled in to check on my family.

“Lucy? No. I… I don’t know. Maybe she already divorced Damon?” She shrugged, glancing at me. “Because there’s not many views of him but there are of Saul.”

“Well, it’s not like you have access to the cameras on Damon’s floor.” The private levels of my apartment and those of my family members’ weren’t accessible through the way she was hacking.

“I know. But…” She cringed. “I can’t imagine her still being there after a month. With Damon?” She glanced at me again, skeptical.

I shrugged. Stranger things had happened.

Except for Maxim, who had already fallen for Sloane and was happy to be engaged to her, all of us brothers were allergic to the idea of committing to a woman.

Because of our mother’s deception and betrayal, we had grown up assuming no woman could be trusted.

And look at you.

I smiled at Katerina focusing on her computer screen. The tip of her tongue rested at the corner of her mouth. With those plump lips parted, she showed me her telltale—and sexy-as-fuck—sign of deep concentration.

I’d always trusted her. As a child. A teenager.

An adult. Katerina had always been in my life, but it was the constraints of our families becoming enemies that stood as the biggest obstacle.

I’d never been free to claim her or to state how I felt about her.

When Maxim and my father ever pressed me about what was going on between me and Katerina, I’d feel obligated to hedge answering.

I’d give them vague nonanswers as a reply, caught with this desire and drawn to her without knowing how or when I could ever act on it.

I had now.

That night she helped look into my father’s poisoning, we’d crossed a boundary between acquaintances to lovers.

After so many days and nights with her in my arms at this safehouse, I couldn’t imagine not having her in my life.

And now I can.

Since she’d run from Anton and defied him, she should be welcomed into my life. Her actions had proven that she wasn’t an enemy or spy.

Right?

I didn’t need to convince myself. It was Maxim, my father, even my grandmother who I’d need to persuade to let her into my family.

“Everything looks stable,” she commented after a while of looking through surveillance. “Doesn’t it?”

Previewing multiple surveillance feeds didn’t paint a full picture, though. “I hope.”

“How long do you plan to stay hidden?” she asked, facing me with the first direct look since she got her computer out.

“I’m not sure.” I hated to admit it, too. I had no real plan, no strategy that I could stand behind. All this time I’d been making my case to her of how badly I wanted her, I wasn’t focusing on finding the person who’d hired my kidnapping.

“When I was captive, I could listen in and wait for intel. That’s why I didn’t call my brothers to get me out.”

She smirked. “Wait. Are you mad that I broke in to free you, then?”

“Not mad, exactly.” But it did prevent me from being in an ideal place to pick up information, among the enemy.

“Because it was my only chance to do it. After Anton came home and learned that I’d refused to marry and also killed Dmitri, I couldn’t have stuck around to find you later.”

I nodded, understanding that and hating that she was a wanted woman. I could keep her safe with me. I would die protecting her, but she hadn’t commented on anything past the present.

“Where did you plan to go?” I asked, needing to have her input about this. She was a wild card at the moment, but that wouldn’t be a permanent status. Not after she’d surrendered to me and matched my passion so perfectly.

“I’m… I don’t know. I wanted to hide for a while and have more time to think about my next steps.

I have to get a hold of Joann and make sure she and Malcolm are safe too.

I set them up at safehouses with loose agreements to get a hold of them later.

And I do need to find out what happened to Lucy.

I feel terrible about it. I mean, I don’t.

If I went there, I never could’ve had”—she gestured between us—“this, with you.” She swallowed hard and broke eye contact again.

Seeing this woman nervous wasn’t right. Katerina was a badass and bold, if quiet and observant first. With me, though, she’d never hesitated to be assertive and look at me head-on.

What I noticed was her lack of suggesting that we stay together.

I had been the one to initiate it all. I was the one who vowed over and over again how badly I wanted her and needed her.

I showed her too. Sure, she replied in kind, an eager and insatiable lover, but I worried that she still planned to part from me.

She’d mentioned it. She had suggested that she part ways with me for the sake of safety.

“I need more time to think about my future,” she said softly. “But don’t let that hold you back.”

I scowled. “What? What the hell does that mean?”

“I mean that you have a family to lean on. You have a home to go to. And you have your mission to handle, this investigation into who ordered your capture.” She glanced at me. “So lean on them and have the support you need to accomplish your mission.”

“And what?” I scoffed. “Let you just leave and run off?”

Her only reaction was to press her lips tightly together and stare at her screen.

It hadn’t escaped my notice how she didn’t assume that she’d be included in my mission or my plans.

Obviously, we faced many challenges in these circumstances.

We were supposed to be untouchable to each other, yet we disregarded that by coming together every time I slid into her and she embraced me as we fucked.

Each time we kissed and touched, we defied the order that should’ve made us never consider companionship.

But it was far too late for that.

Is it enough, though?

Our friendship stayed strong all these years. No matter how awful Anton was, she never obeyed him and turned against my family.

Now that we had added intimacy into the mix, now that we had addressed and bowed to the desire that linked us together, would that be enough to keep us together?

After a lifetime of distance and lines staked between us, could we ever really convince the rest of the world that we belonged together?

Fuck the world. I had to focus on convincing my family that Katerina belonged with me.

It seemed like such a tall order when I needed to be focused on finding the responsible party for ordering those contractors to take me. For locating the culprit who’d hired them to poison my father.

This wasn’t the time to worry about keeping this strong, smart woman with me. To make her mine. Romance had to wait.

Still, as she continued to snoop and check on surveillance feeds at both my family’s building and the Kozlov mansion, I had to wonder if there was any chance of our surviving this storm together.

When betrayals and death followed us at every turn, it seemed foolhardy to assume we could overcome it all on our own.